by Rose, Renee
Both Rob and Natalie seemed to notice my reaction because they shot curious glances my way.
“Well, I’m considering opening a bed and breakfast,” she replied. “It’s a huge house and property, and I don’t know the first thing about ranching.”
Rob adjusted the hat on his head, shooting me another glance. “There might be other options. We could rent your land for grazing,” he threw out, like it was an idea he’d just thought of. It wasn’t a bad one, even if she chose not to do the B&B. She could start making some extra cash right now, and she didn’t have to sling drinks all night.
A tsking sound behind Rob made us all turn.
Fucking Nathan Brown stood there looking like the cat that just ate the canary. “This is your definition of handling the girl?” he sneered.
Natalie shot me an alarmed look. “Excuse me?” she demanded.
My fingers bunched into tight fists at my side. I hadn’t gone to have a little chat with him for showing up at my mate’s house. Now I wish I had.
Rob’s upper lip curled. “Nathan. I don’t recall inviting you to this barbecue.”
“Didn’t know I needed an invitation to stop by. I saw the cars and thought I’d say hello.”
“Well, it’s a private gathering—to welcome our new neighbor,” Willow said, her voice cool. A few of the others came over. My parents stepped out of the kitchen.
“Yes, the new neighbor. The one I just heard is still planning on opening a bed and breakfast next to pack land.” Nathan turned his gaze on Natalie, and I growled. He was twisting her words around.
Rob’s hand shot out to block me from stepping forward.
“Wait—what is going on here?” Natalie demanded.
Nathan turned his righteous gaze onto Natalie. “Hasn’t your mate straightened you out yet?” He sniffed in Natalie’s direction a few times. “Oh—I stand corrected. Not mated yet.” His gloating smile crooked in my direction. “You haven’t even sealed that deal yet, Rand?”
My snarl came straight from my wolf.
“Stay back,” Rob barked with alpha command, making my limbs fall slack with the impact.
But fucking Nathan wasn’t done. To Rob, he said, “I don’t think your boys are capable of any of the tasks you put them to.”
Now Rob snarled, but Willow jumped between them, putting her hand on Nathan’s chest and walking him swiftly backward, toward the driveway. Smart woman. Nathan wouldn’t fight a female, and Willow was shifter-strong and trained in combat. “The alpha has it handled, but your supreme lack of diplomacy may have just fucked things up. Now I suggest you get in your truck and drive away before you get put in your place in front of every pack member here. Move.” She gave him a shove when she got to the circle drive.
She didn’t need the back up, but Levi, Colton and Clint all found their way behind her.
I was so focused on not killing Nathan, it was only then I realized my bigger problem. What a huge, colossal mistake I’d made.
Natalie hand her hands on her hips, staring up at me with angry tears swimming in her eyes. “What is this, Rand? I’m being handled?”
“Now hang on, Red—”
I reached for her, but she gave me a shove. It didn’t move me physically, but I felt it to the very depths of my soul. My wolf howled. Everyone at the barbecue was looking our way now, but my vision had tunneled to Natalie’s pained eyes.
“You were what? Sent by Rob to make sure I didn’t open a bed and breakfast? Is that it? That’s why you were so curious that first day? And every day since?”
I put my hands up to stop her. She was taking this all wrong. “Just hang on. It’s not like that.”
“It’s not?” She whirled on Rob, who still stood there, looking uncomfortable. “What was Rand supposed to do with me? What task did you give him?” she demanded.
Rob rubbed his face, still splitting his gaze on Willow where she stood supervising Nathan’s departure. Clint and Levi flanked her. “Rand’s right, it wasn’t like that.”
A tear streaked down Natalie’s face because she was filling in all the blanks herself. I nearly died knowing this was turning into a huge clusterfuck, and it was hurting her. “What has it all been, Rand? Were you supposed to mate me, so the pack can have the property?” The hurt in her voice gutted me.
My eyes widened at where she was going? “What? No, no, no.” I waved my palms at her, trying to step closer, but she just moved away.
“What then?”
“I just—” Panic made me choke. I couldn’t think of a single word to fix this. “I was going to talk to you. Change your mind about the B&B. That’s all.”
Natalie clutched her stomach like she felt sick. “God, I told you all along, that it was your wolf who was into me. Now I know why. You said your alpha was fine with mating a human but living next to one? Or having them in and out on your neighbor’s property? Yeah, you had me right from the start. I knew this wasn’t real.” Her face crumpled.
“It’s real!” I roared.
In my periphery, I saw some of the females coming closer—Marina and Becky and Audrey.
“You were sent by your pack. By your alpha.” She shook her head. “I was... a task.” Natalie stumbled away, and I lunged to follow.
“You were not a task!” I shouted. “You are my mate!”
“As far as I can tell, mating is like ownership. You call it claiming. You were supposed to claim me, so the pack could have ownership of my land.”
“That’s not true,” Rob interjected.
“It’s not,” I pleaded. “It’s love, Natalie. I’d be begging to claim you if you lived in a gutter. I swear to fate.”
“It’s not love,” she said, shaking her head, tears streaking down her face. “I don’t know what it is, but it’s definitely something different. This can’t work, Rand.”
“Let’s talk this out,” I begged.
“You all have been talking with each other. You’ve got what you need from me all planned out. There’s nothing left to talk about.” She spun on her heel and walked off in the direction of her land.
I wanted to catch her up, to pull her back against me, to carry her off somewhere private, so I could figure out how to show her the truth, but I knew my touch wasn’t welcome. So I settled for following her retreat. “Natalie, it will work,” I called. “We’re not that different.”
“Don’t follow me,” she snapped as she glared at me over her shoulder, throwing a hand out. The scent of her tears drained me of all aggression.
“Natalie,” I choked. My wolf howled, frustrated and angry she couldn’t see reason.
“I can’t do this,” I heard her say more to herself than me, but my wolf hearing heard it loud and clear.
“Let her go.” Becky caught my arm. “She needs space right now.”
My wolf howled some more.
“Natalie,” I choked again, watching her retreating back. “Please stay.”
I heard her sob, and she broke into a run, following the horse trail that led to her place.
“Fuck,” I croaked, unable to do anything but let her go.
Someone laid a hand on my shoulder—Rob, maybe.
“Fuck,” I repeated and dropped to my knees.
My mate was gone.
I’d fucked the whole thing up.
22
NATALIE
I ran the entire way back to my place, my flip flops slapping the ground. After I climbed through the barbed wire fence onto my property, I stopped and threw up.
I couldn’t believe I had been a task to Rand.
The pack had sent him to befriend me. To mate me.
What the fuck? I’d known it wouldn’t work. That there was no way a shifter could love, not when he was controlled by his wolf.
And Rand had been using me! He’d chosen the pack first. I was just a pawn. Heck, if it hadn’t been me who’d inherited the land, the same issue would have existed. If that person had wanted to start a B&B, Rand would have been sent just the same.
I was interchangeable. I was just the human in the Sheffield house threatening the pack.
This just underlined the fact that Rand was an entirely different species. He wasn’t human. He hadn’t even been thinking with his dick when he’d wanted me in bed. No, he was a shifter, and he’d had the mating urge. Nothing more.
He was part of a pack. A pack that didn’t permit human matings until two years ago. A pack that apparently had a really big problem with me opening a B&B here.
I didn’t even know what was real.
I really didn’t. Why didn’t he just outright say they didn’t want that type of business next door? Out of everyone, I’d have understood. Hadn’t Uncle Adam and I both kept their secret all this time?
I pushed into the house and ran up to my bedroom, collapsing on the bed. When I’d moved here, I’d been used to being alone. I didn’t mind the idea of living out here by myself.
But now the idea suddenly terrified me. With the windows open, I could hear the crickets, nothing more. Loneliness blew through the house like a tidal wave, drowning me. All my time here had been filled with Rand. Rand’s smile, his wink. His clever tongue between my legs. His ever present concern for me and the property.
Ugh—the property!
Was he really just after my house?
No. No, I couldn’t believe that. I hadn’t felt that. I didn’t have much faith in people, including my own parents, but I thought I would’ve known if he’d been playing me the whole time. He’d spent hours poking holes all over the house to fix the wiring.
He’d looked devastated when I broke things off. He’d actually begged for me to stay. But was it him doing the begging or the need of his wolf?
I turned my face into the pillow, but the tears had dried up. Now I felt nothing but the heaviest weight on my chest. In my limbs.
I couldn’t even move. I had no idea what to even do. How to function.
Maybe if I closed my eyes, I’d fall asleep and could forget this day ever happened.
Except what would happen tomorrow? I couldn't bear the thought of restarting my life here without Rand. He’d already become such a huge part of it.
The only part that mattered.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out. There were texts coming in from Rand, but even the thought of reading them tore a crater in my heart. I turned my phone off and closed my eyes.
Tomorrow, I would figure out what to do.
Tomorrow, I would somehow go on.
23
RAND
“Get him in the truck.” I vaguely heard the bark of my alpha as the guys shoved me into the back of Clint’s pickup.
I didn’t know where they were taking me or what happened.
The moment Natalie left the barbecue, I’d gone catatonic. I’d fallen to my knees, and the howling of my wolf grew too loud to hear anything else.
Levi, Nash and Johnny climbed in the back of the truck with me, but they avoided eye contact, like my pain might be contagious.
Or maybe they were afraid I’d try to fight.
I didn’t feel like fighting, though. It was more like I was frozen. Unable to move or function. It must’ve been my body’s or brain’s survival strategy to cope with the pain of watching my mate walk away.
Forever.
This can’t work, Rand.
Oh, fuck! My mate felt betrayed by me! She thought Rob sent me to woo her for her land. As the truck started to climb the road to the mountain, I scrambled to pull out my phone, my brain finally kicking into gear.
With clumsy thumbs, I managed to text a message to Natalie.
Please believe me. You are my mate. I hit send.
Fuck. That wasn’t the right thing to say. No way should I remind her about my wolf. I tried again.
You are my soul. My love. My everything.
But those were just words. They meant nothing. What was really the issue? I rubbed my jaw. She thought my love wasn’t real because Rob had asked me to change her mind about the B&B.
Rob. The alpha. I wasn’t even there because of my wolf. That she’d understood, had accepted and let me back in. But not the entire fucking pack.
And then I knew. I had to be willing to turn my back on my pack if necessary. I had to choose my mate over the pack. That she was what mattered. That was the only way to prove myself. I could be a shifter with her, but she’d know it was my human who’d made the choice. That I wasn’t being driven by my wolf.
I typed, If you truly want a B&B, I will stand by your side all the way. The thought made me slightly nauseated, knowing the implication for the pack, but I didn’t care. Rob had dealt with Boyd mating Audrey when there hadn’t been any precedent. He’d flexed for that. Then came Colton and Marina. Same went for his other brother. And they’d mated females who hadn’t known about shifters. Natalie knew. She’d almost always known. And kept the secret. Respected the pack.
Losing Natalie wasn’t worth preserving pack privacy because Rob had always had it. He could just deal. And Nathan? That fucker better find a new pack because he wasn’t welcome here. But he was Rob’s problem.
All I cared about was Natalie.
Then I sent the words,
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Until Nash grabbed the phone out of my hand.
And then I was ready to fight. I tackled him to the truck bed even as it bumped along down the dirt road.
“Hang on, chill the fuck out,” he sputtered, releasing my phone and showing his neck in surrender. “I just think maybe you should clear your head before you keep texting her. The females thought she needed space. They’re human. They can see what you can’t about Natalie right now. If any one of them was here, they’d toss your cell out the truck. Texting her every second isn’t giving her space.”
“He’s right,” Levi agreed. “Put the phone away until after you’ve had a run.”
I looked around, finally understanding where they were taking me. Up to the mountaintop to shift and run. I felt like I was coming out of my skin. Now I could really do that.
I released Nash and rolled off him. I would’ve said thanks, but I was still too fucking grumpy. Instead, I dropped to my back and crossed my arms over my eyes until the truck rolled to a stop in front of the pack lodge.
“Get him out,” I heard Rob command.
“I’m coming.” It felt like I was wading through mud just to move, but I climbed out of the truck. All on my own.
“Come on, let’s run it off,” Rob said, stripping off his own clothes. We didn’t need to open up the building. We’d leave our things by the truck. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and no one was going to come up here and steal our shit.
All the guys were there—Clint, Nash, Rob, Boyd, Colton, Levi, and Johnny. They all kicked off their boots and stripped. My pack brothers, here for me in my pain.
They understood.
I swallowed hard and took off my clothes, shifting and running. The group flanked me. It wasn’t a playful run, but it wasn’t aggressive, either. We just ran fast and hard all the way to the top of the mountain and around the back side. When we looped around to the Wolf Ranch side I skidded to a stop, the gravel sliding under my paws. I stared down at Natalie’s property.
The other wolves circled up around me, as if to keep me from going down there and doing something stupid.
I sat on my haunches, lifted my muzzle to the sky and howled.
The voices of my brothers answered me, filling the sky with the mournful sound of a wolf who’d lost his love.
24
NATALIE
I woke up hoping it would be tomorrow, but it wasn’t.
It was only eight, and the light was mostly faded in the sky. Night was falling fast. I’d slept three hours, that was all. My skin was covered in goosebumps, but I wasn’t sure why.
And t
hen I heard it—a wolf’s howl.
Every hair on my arms stood up, and my face instantly felt tight and hot, tears burning in my eyes. Because I knew without a shadow of a doubt—that howl belonged to Rand.
His heart hurt as much as mine did.
Choking back a sob, I climbed out of the bed and threw back the curtain. The howl sounded far away, but I still found myself looking for him anyway.
Like he’d be here as he always promised he would.
But he wasn’t. And he wasn’t coming. I’d told him not to follow, and he’d honored my wishes.
I slipped my flip flops on and went down the stairs. I walked an aimless circle around the ground floor. Everything reminded me of Rand. The newly patched wall where he’d pulled fresh wiring through, the table where he’d sat eating a sandwich, the blanket from our time at the swimming hole that I’d left by the cellar door to put in the laundry.
I picked it up and carried it down the stairs. Rand had already repaired the broken stair and made sure all the rest of the boards were solid. I tossed the blanket in the washing machine and started it then looked around at the shelves of stuff Uncle Adam had stored down here.
What was even in these boxes? I pulled one down. Anything was better than thinking about Rand.
I pulled the lid off and stared down. Inside was an old black and white photo, curled at the edges. A high school prom picture.
I flipped it over to look at the back. Written in a female’s clean script were the words, “Adam and Maggie, Prom 1950” and a heart. My pulse picked up speed. I turned the photo back over and studied both their faces. The youthful exuberance there. Uncle Adam looked proud of the teen on his arm. Maggie was young and vibrant and looked bright and happy. She wore a strapless dress with a full skirt and had dark hair that fell in waves above her bare shoulders.
