We closed in on the new members in a frenzy. I rammed my hand into the soft belly of the bigger teen. To be beaten by your brother was an honor. Music turned to the highest volume poured from speakers someone had set up. Punk lyrics about the superiority of the white man surrounded us, egging us on into more violence. Sweat peppered my face and damped the collar of my shirt from the fight. I threw a few more punches plowing into the eye of some young kid as I made my way toward the kitchen. This was family. I should have been engrossed in showing my new brothers love at the ends of my fists. The grunts, the laughter, the screams of pain and encouragement. None of it felt right anymore. I grabbed a bottle of beer and leaned on the counter watching the ‘Blood In.’ Tomorrow would be here soon enough, and I would see exactly what Prof and Bruno planned. A sliver of uneasiness slithered down my spine.
17
Harper
“Wait!” But, all I heard was the dial tone when he hung up. What did he mean by ‘he didn’t want to see me get hurt?’ Why would I get hurt going down to any of the parades? I’d been sitting on my window seat looking out on the traffic below. I called him back to ask him to explain; he couldn’t just say something like that and leave it hanging out there.
It went straight into his voicemail. I left him a message, telling him to call me. I didn’t bother to send him a text too. I started to, but either he’d call or text. Besides, I was running late. I had to go and meet my dad for our monthly dinner; I couldn’t cancel this one.
We always had dinner, just the two of us, at least once a month when he was in town. Even sometimes when he was out of town on business, depending on where he was, he’d come back alone to Boston just to have dinner with me. Then he’d take a redeye back to wherever he had been. After he’d gotten married to his second wife, he’d tried to include her—that lasted once. At the time, I didn’t bother to get up and walk out on them. I just glared at her all night. You would think I was too mature for that now but five years ago, the first time he took me to dinner to ‘introduce me’ to his new fiancée, I did get up and walk out. Imagine my shock when I saw it was our old housekeeper’s daughter. I didn’t even know they’d been dating. Still, over the years, I made peace of a sort with him. I love my dad and know he loves me too; no one was getting between us, so I gritted my teeth. It helped he travelled so much, and she wasn’t always with him, so I never had to see her much. That was the way he tried to keep the peace.
After they were married, the first time she tried to join us for our daddy/daughter dinner, I said not a word. I finished my dinner, declined dessert, said my ‘goodnights,’ and left. I’d had enough of listening to her talk about how she redid the townhouse and the condo on the beach all by herself. Then, why did I glimpse a bill from a well-known designer for the tune of $100,000 in my dad’s office? That was just for the townhouse. ‘Did it herself,’ my ass. I don’t know who she was trying to impress. Then, she had the nerve to want to take me shopping. I don’t think so. I’d called my dad the next day and told him, unless he wanted me to fall asleep in the middle of her scintillating conversation, he needed to leave her at home.
He did. But, I had to compromise. In return, I dutifully went home for a couple of hours for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. Which, thank God, included a host of friends and my dad’s business acquaintances and their wives and adult children. Some of whom I knew, but these were people I could actually have a conversation with that didn’t involve the differences in the shades of sunset white and moon white. It’s frigging WHITE.
As I called an Uber, my car was acting up again—something I planned on discussing with my father, I checked my phone again—nothing from Dachs. I missed him. I hadn’t seen him on the train, and this was the first time I’d tried to call him. I’d have called sooner, but I was busy; I had a paper to finish and hung out with Serena one night. Besides, I wouldn’t have been good for his ego if I’d called him the next day. He had enough of that as it was.
“Hi, Dad,” I said when I met him at one of our favorite restaurants. Usually, we like to try new restaurants; we both love good food, but we had our favorites. I wanted homemade pasta tonight or ‘handmade’ since it was served in a restaurant.
He stood and gave me a hug, kissing my cheek. “Hi, honey, you look happy.”
I sat down and picked up the menu, although, I pretty much knew it by heart. I thought about his words while I kinda studied the menu. Yeah, I could be happy, I had Dachs’ number, we’d kissed, and I hope we’d do that again, perhaps more. But, I’d be really happy if I had a new car, and I told him so—the last thought.
He chuckled. “Well, graduation is coming up.”
“I like the color silver.” I smiled, leaving it at that.
Dinner with my father was awesome as usual. The only off moment was when he asked me about Justin. I wondered if Justin had said something to him, since he did handle one of my dad’s smaller accounts and talked to him from time to time. “We’re not seeing each other anymore,” I told him.
He seemed surprised. “I’m sorry to hear that. I like him.”
“He’s an ass.”
My dad frowned. “Should I turn over the Tanner account elsewhere?”
I paused. For all the family drama I had in my life, it was mild compared to others. My dad loved me, and if I said ‘yes,’ he’d do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked. But, I wasn’t a petty kind of person. So, I let my dad know I was cool, and the decision was his. “Is he making you money?”
“That’s not the point,” he responded.
“If you’re happy with the job he’s doing then it’s all good. My relationship with him never had anything to do with you using him to manage your money, and my ending it, shouldn’t either. As long as he’s not invited to any family or business events I’m attending, it’s all good.”
My dad nodded and walked me out to wait for a car. As we stood on the sidewalk, he asked the question that had my brain pinging.
“Are you going to any of the parades?”
“I’d been planning on it.”
“Just stay away from the protestors. Those people took out a permit to protest too but were only granted access to one area. Just check where that is and stay far away from them. This group seems to sprout a lot of violence.”
The more Dad talked, the more my insides twisted. What Dachs said was beginning to make sense.
I drove home in a bit of a daze. The parades were happening tomorrow. My mind kept going back to the fact there were going to be counter protestors—of course, there were. Would he be among them? I’d planned on going to watch one of the larger city-planned parades, just to stand on the sidewalk and cheer on the marching bands and floats honoring Dr. King. I’d never considered being anywhere near the assholes who were doing a counter protest. I knew some of my college peers were planning on heckling the counter protestors, Serena being one. I wasn’t sure where that would be.
As soon as I got home, I called my friend.
“Hey, Lady, what’s up?”
“You still going to a counter parade?”
“Yeah, there’s only one, over by that pierogi shop we took you to last month. About a block over from the main one you were going to, I think. Why? You going to come with us?”
I realized that’s exactly what I had to do. How could I not? Yet, Dachs’ words sat like a stone in my gut. What would I do if he was among the protestors? What would I do if he was holding hateful signs and shouting bullshit? All on a day that had been set aside to celebrate the accomplishments and achievements of one of the most beloved black men in history. I’d even seen a mural of Martin Luther King, Jr. in celebration of the Civil Rights Movement on the Freedom Wall in Belfast, along with many others. White people in another country celebrate the Civil Rights Movement and its leaders, yet here, we face this bullshit.
“Yes. I’m coming. I’ll meet you at your place in the morning.”
I set the cell on the nightstand beside the bed and changed into a chemise
before climbing under the covers. I loved my king size bed; it was the perfect combo of firm yet soft for me. I wondered if Dachs would like it. I might be getting ahead of myself; he might never get the chance.
The phone rang, and I picked it up, grinning when I saw who it was. Oh yes, there was a distinct possibility.
I settled back against my down pillows and said, “Hello.”
18
Dachs
It was late. Bare branches danced on the cold breeze. I trudged down the street thinking. I didn’t want to go home, but I was in no mood to couch surf at a brother’s house either. Actually, I knew exactly whose company I wanted to be in, but that would be dangerous. I stopped and dropped my head back to gaze up. Beyond the trees and buildings, a swath of starless black sky curled around roof tops. There were many nights when I wouldn’t—didn’t want to deal with my mom, and in trying to prove myself to the brotherhood, refused to bother the Prof. Wouldn’t be the first time I slept on a park bench. I learned a long time ago to leave something, clothes, deodorant, any little thing I might need tucked into the corners of the different homes I might sleep in at any given time. If I had to sleep outside, then I would just clean-up wherever I was welcome. Funny, I hadn’t thought about my situation, the way I chose to live, in a long time.
I am unsettled, at odds with myself—family troubles, work—the brotherhood and Harper, too many things coming at me at once. A deep, uncomfortable feeling lodged in my chest. I hadn’t seen Bruno since the party.
Crisp air blew across my face. I glanced around. The sidewalk was clear. Only partiers and criminals hung out at this time of night. I dug my cell from my pocket and stared at the screen for a while. A simple tap, and I could call her. My finger hovered over the phone for a moment. I pressed my fingertip on the tiny phone icon beside her number and waited.
“Hello.”
The sultry tone of her voice sent frissons of awareness along my spine. I needed to make sure she wasn’t going to be at the parade tomorrow. That was the only reason I called. Yeah, I would keep telling myself that. “You’re not going to the parades tomorrow—right?” I was lying to myself. I wanted to hear Harper’s voice.
“I am.”
“Don’t. I’ll be there. My brothers will be there.”
“So what?”
She wasn’t listening, and I don’t know how to make her understand this will not be a normal march. What I do believe is that there will be more than the normal bullshit verbal clashes and fights. “Stay home.”
“I don’t know how you are going to stop me.” Her voice was firm, adamant.
And, we were back to this. The bullshit defiant, I know better than everybody else attitude. I wanted her, and I didn’t. Not when she came across as holier than thou, I can do what I want because I can, without a care as to who her choices might hurt…I blew out a long sigh. The mask she wore was as deeply embedded in her as mine was in me. Telling her the truth was all I could do. “I can’t protect you.” I stopped and inhaled. That was it. Harper had become the woman that I had to keep safe. And, I was willing to put my life on the line to make sure that happened. The influence I allowed her was damned scary.
“What’s going on?”
I heard her concern. Explaining the situation, how I wasn’t completely sure myself what would happen. There was nothing I could tell her in certainty. She wouldn’t accept that, but that was all I could give her. “Something.” I shook my head and realized she couldn’t see me. “I’m not sure.”
“Talk to me.”
I wanted more. Not just to see her and hold her, talk to her. But to tell her—everything. “I would if I could.” It wasn’t a chat we could have over the phone.
“Come to me.”
Her voice changed, from questioning concern to sultry enticement. I felt the pull in my gut. My dick jerked in my crotch. “Can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You are free to choose. As am I. I’ll meet you downstairs in my lobby in half an hour.” She was quiet for a moment. “I’ll see you—shortly.”
Silence was left in her wake, she’d disconnected the call. I checked the time before tapping the car app. It was too late to catch the last train. Twenty minutes until I could catch a ride. My decision was made no matter what I told her. I texted Harper.
Give me forty.
Done.
Her message appeared almost immediately.
I increased my pace to make sure I met the car at the corner. While walking I tried again to call Bruno. At the Jump In party, he was there and suddenly, he wasn’t. The Prof wasn’t giving up shit, so the only way I would probably get any information is by talking to Bruno. The call went straight to voicemail.
“Call me, Brother, We need to coordinate some things.” I ended the call and continued up the street.
My cell buzzed. The Uber was closer than I thought. I’d been standing about ten minutes when the car pulled up. Traffic was light, the chimes of my cell filled the automobile’s interior. I checked the ID and raised the phone to my ear.
“You looking for Bruno.” Prof tight tone bled through the earpiece. “He just called to tell me you’re reaching out to him.”
“I wanted to make sure we were on the same page with where we are meeting up tomorrow.”
“Bruno is still working on the project I gave him. He will be heading a special group of brothers.”
“The permits we got have shortened the planned route.” Becky had already given me the information since she’d pulled the permits.
“Bruno is aware of where to go, and what needs to happen.” Prof’s tone brooked no argument.
Too fucking bad.
Something more was going down, and it was necessary to get as much information as possible. I believed in white pride and would support the cause, but fuck if I would suffer for the bullshit of fucked up planning. Jail time was not an option I was ready to suffer for the fantasies of others.
“What exactly is Bruno doing?” The only way I would get an answer is if I asked the fucking question, directly.
“That is on a need to know basis and frankly my trust in you has eroded.”
I already knew that. “I will only do jail time for the right reasons.” My faith in the Prof—the brethren was shaken. I needed to make clear exactly where I stood.
“Then do your job and don’t get caught. White Power.” The call ended in nothingness.
What the fuck did that mean? The driver pulled up to the curb. It was safer that way in case the Prof decided to have me watched. High rises rose up along the streets. I exited the vehicle. Harper’s building was down the path and just behind the floor to ceiling windows, I could see her pacing near the entrance.
The closer I got to her place the stronger my heartbeat. She looked up and our gazes met. I was lost for a minute in her deep chocolate iris’. The world stopped around me.
She moved, breaking eye contact, and exited through the sliding glass doors. I trotted up to her, catching her around the shoulders and yanking her against me, the softness of her body molding to the angles of mine. She felt so fucking good. I skimmed my palms down her back and curled them around the gentle curve of her ass. I tried to figure out when this black girl had become so damn important to my state of mind. “I missed you.” The words slipped out before I realized I’d said them.
She searched my face and smiled. That all knowing smile like she had a secret she was about to share. Without a word, she eased out of my hold and took my hand to lead me through the doors.
I followed willingly, through the lobby, to the elevators, content with my choice to find her…to be with her. Harper pressed the button with the arrow pointing up. Not one word was uttered between us still as we waited. Tension building along my nerves gave my dick life. The doors quietly slid open, and the cab dipped when we stepped over the threshold. She pushed the 20th floor button, and I eased back, watching the shiny metal doors close.
The minute those seams sealed, I wouldn’t—-couldn’t—deny mys
elf any longer. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her waist yanking her back. I dropped my head to her nape. Her scent filled me, wrapping around us as I traced the column of her neck with my tongue. Slipping my hands beneath the elastic waistband of her lounge pants to rest against her flat stomach. Her satin skin filled my palms. She turned in my arms, and I walked her backward. Her body hit the wall with a thud. I curled my hands around her waist and hiked her up to lean on the metal bar attached to the wall, holding my body against hers to keep her in place. Her hair brushed my cheek, and she angled her head. She gripped my jaw in her palms and rammed her lips against mine.
Being gentle was the farthest thing from my mind. There was no going back. I couldn’t wait, not anymore. I wouldn’t. I broke our connection and reached beside me pressing buttons before I glanced over. The buttons to multiple floors were illuminated except for the one I wanted. I stabbed the red stop button and the cab jerked.
I would fuck Harper now.
19
Harper
I don’t think I realized he’d stopped the elevator until it jerked to a halt. He shifted his hands to my pants and yanked them down. He managed to get one leg out and just ripped the bikini cut underwear I was wearing from the side and everything dropped to pool around my slippered feet. Damned if I cared. As long as he touched me where I ached for him most.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him back to me. His fingers dug into my hips, his lips returned to mine, and our tongues did this insane tangle—each striving to lead to sate this craving for the other. There was no thought involved, only pure unadulterated emotion, a need to be devoured that ran down to the marrow. He used his larger frame to press his body over mine, pushing my back up against the cool metal wall while his front fully covered me with his heat. His shirt was soft, but the muscles of his chest were hard as they pressed against my breasts making my nipples stiffen. I could feel the roughness of the material of his jeans against my bare pussy. But, I felt even more as he ground his hardness into me. There was zero give, the man was stone hard, but nothing about him was cold—not one bit.
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