I nodded, as I worked on unclenching my jaw, so I could say something. “The last thing I want is being stuck in a house with Camilo all up my ass about my sex life.”
She twisted her mouth, trying not to laugh at my very poor choice of words. But when she spoke she sounded better. “I’m going up to Ithaca tomorrow and will drive to the cabin from there.”
“P and Easton are coming down to Odette’s for Christmas Eve, so I’m going up with them. Can I catch a ride home with you?” I was being fresh, but there was no way I was blowing a chance to drive down together. Especially not after two full days of having to keep my hands and my dick to myself.
She nodded and burrowed into me with a contented sigh. “Let’s sleep, Juan Pablo.”
I wished I could tell Pris how much more I wanted with her. But I didn’t need to add my own shit to everything she was already dealing with. So instead I reached over and turned off the lamp by the bed and gathered her tightly to me. This wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. But it was what I could have right now, and I would take it.
Chapter Eighteen
Juan Pablo
We got to Easton’s family mountain lodge in the Adirondacks after dark, and there were already some cars in the driveway. The plan was still for me to get a ride back with Priscilla, since Camilo and Tom, the other pair that lived in the city, were taking a private flight out of Rochester straight to DR for New Year’s. Because that was how bougie that little fucker was these days.
I saw Nesto and Jude’s truck and Tom and Milo’s Range Rover. Pris’s car was nowhere to be seen, but I didn’t want to act all thirsty again. We’d said we’d keep things casual and I didn’t want to assume anything and fuck with our vibe. Instead I decided to spend some time busting Patrice’s balls for hooking up with the most eligible bachelor in Upstate New York.
“Damn, P, this place is nice, bruh.” I could see Easton smiling in the driver’s seat as he eased into an empty spot in the enormous circular driveway. The lodge was pretty awesome. Up by Lake George and nestled in a copse of huge pine trees. It looked like a legit log home, but I assumed it was mad fancy inside. “How big is this place, Easton?”
Easton turned around to look at me, but not before he stretched to give P a hard kiss on the mouth. Then he beamed that megawatt smile my way. Dude was always happy as hell.
“Oh it’s pretty big, my whole family comes here at least once a year.” He smiled then and leaned over again to kiss P a second time, because one of the many changes love had made in my friend was that he no longer cared about PDA. Nope. Patrice would show his man some love anytime, anywhere.
I wasn’t jealous.
“I usually only stay for one night, but Patrice was my plus one this year when we came up for Thanksgiving.” The smile he gave my friend when he said that was so full of love, I was not surprised to see him practically melt from it. Before they pulled apart yet again I heard him whisper, “Always, bébé.”
Jesus, we’d be rolling deep with the love fest for the next couple of days. I’d probably have to choke out my dick just to make it through dinner with the way these fuckers were dolling out the PDA. But I wasn’t going to harsh their buzz. Just because everyone was coupled off and living the #relationshipgoals dream didn’t mean I had to be a Bitter Becky.
“So you were saying?” I asked pointedly, as they sat in the car literally rubbing noses. I wasn’t trying to sit here for another hour watching these two make out.
Easton snapped to attention, an apologetic smile on his lips. “Sorry, right. There are four bedrooms. So you and Pris will have to share one.”
That little grin didn’t look remotely remorseful and I should’ve seen this bullshit coming. They all had a hard-on for Pris and I to get back together—just as bad, or worse, than our parents did.
I didn’t twist my mouth, but only because I wasn’t going to get rude with the host. “Uh huh.”
Right as we were getting out the car I saw headlights coming up the driveway. When it passed us, I saw Pris’s serious profile as she carefully navigated the snowy terrain and parked right behind us. We made quick work of getting out of the car, our bags from the back, and met Pris at the stairs going up to the house’s front porch. We did the mandatory round of hugs and kisses and I tried really hard not to stare at her ass in the leggings she was wearing.
She looked around at the well-lit wooden porch and the comfortable looking rocking chairs smiling. “Damn it’s been a minute since I’ve been up here. I think the last time was that New Year’s Eve a couple of years ago.”
Easton smiled wide and nodded. “That’s right. It was after the hottest summer ever.” That was said with a suggestive smile directed at Patrice. Meanwhile my friend cheesed at his boyfriend like he’d hung the moon.
Pris and I turned to each other and made gagging noises as we walked up the few stairs to the entrance. I tried no to pout at the fact that I didn’t get to kiss her like that. That I wanted to let her know that I’d missed her in the two days since I’d seen her. That I couldn’t stop thinking about her, worrying about her job. That she was back to being the center of everything for me. I couldn’t do or say any of it. That was the agreement.
I sighed as we got to the door, and when I looked at her I was relieved to at least see that her eyes looked a little regretful too. But then she pointed at the big picture window and we both smiled at the scene. Inside we could Milo curled up on one of the couches in front of the gigantic fireplace. Jude was arranging a charcuterie platter on the equally gigantic coffee table, and the smells coming from inside meant that Nesto was doing his thing in the kitchen.
Pris opened the door and hollered inside, “Feliz Navidad, mi gente!” Patrice and Easton were right behind us and soon we were all bickering and laughing. It had been a while since we’d been together like this. These next couple of days would be nothing but relaxation, and I couldn’t fucking wait.
“Patrice, why didn’t you tell me there was a hot tub?” Milo of course had to get himself whipped up before we even had a chance to put our bags down. “We didn’t bring our suits and I’m never going to convince Tom to go skinny dipping with the rest of you here.”
Tom made his way to us with the ever-present smile he had whenever his man was around, and wrapped his arms tightly around Milo. “I thought you got enough of that on the honeymoon?”
Milo scoffed at that as if it was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard. “Enough of easy access to your dick? Right, like that’s ever going to happen!” We all rolled our eyes as Milo wiggled in Tom’s arms, but for me there was that ache again there too.
I needed to quit that shit and be grateful for what I did have. For the next few days I was going to enjoy my friends and be glad that Priscilla and I were at least back to being able to vacation together.
I should’ve known our nosy ass friends wouldn’t let me have a moment of peace with my damn thoughts without meddling.
“Pris, why don’t you show Juanpa to the room. It’s the one we usually stay in.” Easton was getting real slick these days, but if Pris was put out she didn’t say anything. She just grabbed her bag and with a small smile waved toward the stairs. I winked as the others shuffled around getting settled in.
“Lead the way.”
I tried very hard not to ogle her ass while we ascended the stairs to our room, but it was not easy when it was only a few inches from my face. I had never ever wanted to take a bite out of something so bad. My throat was bone dry just looking at it. I tried to mask the groan that escaped my throat, but Pris was no fool.
“Are your eyes crossed yet, Juan Pablo?”
At any other time just the hint that she was flirting with me would’ve had me running with it. But for the first time in such a long time we were in a good place, and I was loathe to mess with that. So instead of making a lascivious comment or joking around, I cleared my throat, told my dic
k to calm down, and changed the topic.
“The view’s pretty spectacular from up here,” I said truthfully, as I stared out the giant window of the staircase. As we made it to the landing Pris waited for me, looking as if she was trying to figure out what I was doing. I mentally wished her luck. Because other than the fact that I didn’t want to ruin the vibe she and I had going, I wasn’t sure of much else.
That wasn’t true either. I was sure about her. About the friendship we’d been building back up for the past few weeks. Because that’s what was different this time. It felt like I’d rediscovered Priscilla. Not as the no-nonsense girl I feel in love with a million years ago, but as a woman who like me, was trying hard to figure out what was next. What fit her now instead of trying to cram herself into the mold she dreamed up before she really knew who she was.
“Let’s put our stuff away. Camilo must have a mimosa with my name on it downstairs.”
I let her guide me into the spacious room we were going to share in silence and placed my duffel by one of the beds. I sank into the comfortable mattress while Pris did the same on the other one. Like the staircase, the room had a large window overlooking the evergreen forest surrounding the house. Even though it was dark, we could still see the snow-covered trees around the house. I smiled as I listened to our friends moving around below us.
The drive up had been pleasant, but we’d taken off early enough that I was feeling like I could drift off into a nap, but then I remembered something important to ask her. “Any news on your case?”
When I turned my head, Pris’s face didn’t look like she was enjoying coming up with an answer to my question. “No news worth talking about.”
She twisted her mouth to the side as she copied my position on the other bed. She looked tired and more than a little frustrated as she thought about whatever it was that was happening at work. “I’m off the case. So I’m not in the loop. As far as I know, the child is in a safe place. No disclosure yet.” She shook her head and sighed.
“I’m so tired, J. You’d think that after twelve years into this job there would be some fucking headway, some progress around this shit. But at times like this it feels like it’s the same old thing. We should’ve never let this situation go on in that home as long as it has.”
I had some of the details for the case, but not all, so I was trying to figure it out. “You think the parents had something to do with it?”
She shrugged and almost instinctively picked up her work phone, looked at the screen then settled it down again under her pillow. “It’s hard to say. On one end they seem supportive, but we know enough about grooming to know a kid could lie to protect an abuser.” She shut her eyes tight and blew out a harsh breath. “But at the end of the day, I don’t care who it is. If an eleven-year-old gets pregnant, then fuck, someone needs to get arrested, because at the very least the negligence was criminal. Even if she lost the baby.”
These were the moments when I usually was flooded with feelings of guilt, sympathy and admiration for Priscilla. She had paid more than her share of dues and seen more than anyone ever should, and she could still be affected by the cases. I wondered if I would’ve gone into the force if I’d have lasted half as long as she had. A few years ago a thought like that would’ve made me resentful. I’d focus on my own guilt over going back on my promise to join with her, and would’ve said something shitty or dismissive instead of seeing how fucked up she was about this.
“And talking to your captain won’t help.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to go over the lieutenant’s head. He’s already frustrated with me about this case. And at the end of the day, now that she’s had a miscarriage, the whole thing has gone to a weird gray zone.”
She looked so tired and it was taking all I had not to go over there and offer to give her a massage or just call up her captain and get this sorted out for her. But I knew if I wanted to stay in Priscilla’s life, the first rule was: no fighting her battles for her. I’d fucked up when I got Yari involved, and I’d been dodging him for a week already. He’d been texting again asking me if I’d talked to Pris. While I sat there feeling guilty as fuck Camilo burst into the room like the five-foot-eight pain in the ass he was.
“Well, this is cozy,” he said, as he sauntered in with two mimosas in his hands. He sat on the edge of Pris’s bed and held out the glass.
“Sit up, ma. I’m so happy I finally got my bubbly buddy.” He looked over to me and smiled, then hollered downstairs. “Papi, J’s up here!” He handed the wineglass to Pris who took it from him like it was full of the elixir of life while Milo primly crossed his legs and tipped his head toward the door. “Tom brought a bottle of that rum you both like. He poured you a glass.”
I smiled at that, rubbing my hands together. “My man, always holding it down. But it still creeps me out when you call him daddy.”
He sipped from his glass and raised an eyebrow while Pris cackled next to him. “It’s cute that you think I’d care.” He raised a shoulder, and took a long sip of his drink, smiling as we listened to Tom coming up the stairs. “He likes it and it gets me laid often. So it’s not going away anytime soon. Hey, babe.”
Pris and I both turned to find Tom grinning in Milo’s direction. He’d probably heard everything and like he did with everything regarding Camilo, found it utterly adorable.
“What’s going on?” Tom asked us as he passed me my glass and sat on the armchair by the foot of the bed. To my surprise Priscilla sat up and with her eyes closed did something she rarely ever did—she opened up.
Priscilla
I don’t know if it was the light snow on the window or the small fireplace crackling in our room, or the earlier conversation with J that made me feel like it was safe to share some of what was going on with me. I mean if I couldn’t do it with these guys who could I do it with?
I took a sip from my mimosa and patted Camilo’s shoulder. “I’m sort of struggling with my job.” I sighed, hating to feel like I was whining, but grateful that I had a captive and sympathetic audience. “My lieutenant is being an asshole.”
“Oh no, babe, that sucks. You were so hopeful this precinct would be better.” Camilo’s eyes were full of worry and he immediately went full social worker on me. “Is it just a temporary thing? Any chance you can be assigned to another lieutenant?”
I shook my head, wondering if spilling my guts about this was the best idea. “Not right now. I’ve only been there a year, and it wouldn’t look good.” I slumped against the headboard and took another large gulp from my now almost empty glass. “Jumping from precinct to precinct is not a good look. So, I need to ride this out and hope things change. And not by me getting demoted.”
Milo’s stank face, as always, was just on this side of over the top. “You do such good work and you know I live for cops who actually understand systemic oppression, but, hon, have you ever thought about doing the side hustle full time?”
I very discreetly directed my gaze to Juan Pablo and saw him perk up as if his antennas were getting pinged. I did give him credit for not interjecting. Because he looked like a chipmunk with this cheeks full of nuts right now, and still held his opinion all the way in. I almost laughed at how hard he was concentrating on what Camilo was saying. It was like he was almost trying to give him talking points by telepathy.
And usually I’d hedge about stuff like this, especially when Nesto and Jude walked into the room and settled on the little love seat by the fireplace. Not a second later Patrice and Easton came in and sat on the bed with J. It seemed like we were in for a kiki like the old days and I was on the hook for the first round of true confessions. The thing was, I wanted to say it—talk about this stuff with my friends.
I sat up straighter and bent my knees in front of me until I could cross my arms around them. They were all waiting to hear, not telling me what to do, or talking over me.
“It�
��s not that I haven’t thought about it. I love it, you know that, Milo. But the risk of leaving a job with security to try this out, it scares me. For what I envision I’d need a storefront with a studio space, and there is no way I can find that in the city for a price I can pay,” I said, feeling discouraged. “I want to have a place open to the public for classes and workshops. And the blog and podcast seem to be doing well, but I don’t know if people would actually be interested in my stuff for the long run.” There were various huffs and puffs coming from every direction and Juanpa in particular looked like he was going to burst. But to my surprise, the one who spoke up first was Tom.
“If you’re serious about a storefront let me know. My business partners and I bought a building on Lenox Avenue we’re rehabbing with the intention of selecting some nonprofits or minority-owned businesses to operate there. We’re planning to go through a committee for the selection process.” He looked over at Milo and smiled with that besotted smile he always had for him. “But you would come pre-approved, of course. Camilo is a devoted follower of your podcast and what we want are businesses or agencies that are bringing something to the community that wasn’t there before. People with missions that will enrich the lives of those who’ve been there for generations. Consider it a formal offer.” The last part was delivered with a kind smile, and then a blush after Camilo gave him a loud kiss on the lips.
My heart skipped a beat at the possibility. At the idea that if I wanted it, I could have a space to give my business a serious try. To finally explore this dream I’d had burning in me for a while now. But just under that flame of hope was very real fear. That I’d let down my parents or worry or embarrass them. Still, it was undeniable that I wanted it. That the offer Tom was so casually making felt like it could alter my life forever. Fill a space that was growing emptier by the day.
American Sweethearts Page 16
