Unbroken Love_Shades of Trust

by Cristiane Serruya

  I can control it. I can. She breathed deeply and walked out, flanked by Steven and Zareb. At least, a little bit.

  Alistair was leaning on his BMW, looking absolutely gorgeous wearing a perfectly tailored double-breasted navy wool suit with a baby-blue tie and he opened the door for her.

  She smiled gently at her bodyguards and dismissed them for the day, entering the car.

  There was an undercurrent of nervousness in the BMW. After what seemed like a long time, she asked, turning up the heating without taking off her coat, “Aren’t you cold?”

  Alistair held her cold hands in his broad ones and blew his breath on them. His smile was taut. “I’m a Highlander.”

  “Mmmm,” she murmured noncommittally.

  They were quiet again for a few moments.

  Alistair was worried. Sophia was still cold, just as when her blood pressure was low, and her playfulness was extinguished. “Are you feeling well?”

  “Yes.” Sophia shifted to take off her coat. “Help me?”

  “Are you still afraid?”

  There was no smile on her face. “No.” I’m trying not to be.

  I bet you are. He entwined his fingers with hers. “Are you sure about this?”

  Stop! Stop! “Are you?”

  He inhaled, then exhaled forcefully and bit out, “Nae.”

  She could not believe what she was hearing. Sophia blinked, astonished, as a wave of paralyzing iciness invaded her.

  “Do you want to drive me crazy?”

  She had whispered so low that he almost asked her to repeat herself. “Nae, I don’t want to drive you crazy.” He pulled her into his arms. “And that’s why I’m no’ so sure anymore. You’ve been tense; you’ve been nervous. I want you to feel safe and happy. I think when I put my choice—my happiness—in your hands, I gave you a heavier burden to carry. And that was no’ the idea. Never.”

  Sophia closed her eyes and leaned on his strong shoulder. His sweet words and his familiar male scent comforted her. Sublime Alistair Connor. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” he asked, his broad hand making circles on her small back. Really, Sophia, stop being sorry.

  “For being so snappy these days. It’s just that...it’s such a big responsibility.”

  “Aye, it is. One we’re going to share.” Gently gripping her chin, he raised her head. “One we agreed on not deciding right now. Sweetheart, you’re seeing things upside down. Where’s the love, the joy? Can’t you imagine the warmth a new baby will bring to our house? To our families?”

  He’s right. Stop being a worry-wart, Sophia. She sighed. “I guess it’s hormones. You know how pregnancy works.”

  “Already?” His lips curled up, but the concern didn’t leave his face. His eyes were gentle when he stared at hers. “Sophia, I’m thrilled by your decision, but I want you to feel the same way about it. You don’t need to do anything just because I want it.”

  As if I would. “Alistair Connor.” She rolled her eyes at him, with a smile on her lips. “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to? I have strict rules on how much I let you woo me into doing your whims.” Not so easy not to succumb.

  That’s my Sophia. “Oh. I didn’t know these rules of yours worked so well,” he joked, as playful as she had been. “I know you can’t resist my charm.”

  Her eyes brightened. “So, Lord Irresistible, would you prefer a boy or a girl?”

  “Twins,” he answered her with a grin.

  Kensington

  Dr. John Walter’s Office

  5:19 p.m.

  “That’s it?” Alistair asked, open-mouthed at the simplicity of the procedure. “Just a cough and it’s out?

  “Yep,” John smiled at him. He threw the used IUD in the waste bin, took off his gloves, and washed his hands.

  “Yeah, that’s it,” Sophia complained, with a grimace and a hand on her stomach. “Let’s change places, Lord That’s-it.”

  Alistair kissed her forehead and followed John out of the examination room, leaving Sophia to put her clothes back on.

  John sat at his computer and typed a few notes. Then he turned to Alistair. “She’ll feel pain, since Gabriela was born by caesarian. I want her body to rest, which means no sex for eight…ten nights starting tonight, please.”

  Alistair stared at the doctor, incredulous. “Ten!”

  “Let’s make it seven then. However, Alistair, when I say no sex for seven nights, I really mean no sex, nothing. Not even oral.” John smiled when Alistair put his hands up. “And then you’re free to go. With your high sex drive, I’ll probably have you back in here in three or four months, tops.”

  “Ah…” Alistair rubbed a hand on his nape, uncomfortable. “I don’t think so.”

  John raised his eyebrows surprised. “Why?”

  Alistair was saved by Sophia, as she walked back and sat in her armchair.

  He grabbed her hand. “The thing is, John, we need to find a sperm donor.”

  Sophia and Alistair had discussed it at length. Together, and separate with their therapists. Since they were sure Alistair was sterile and it would take time to work out the length of her cycle and track her ovulation, they had decided Sophia could take out her IUD safely to start with.

  “Why?” Despite his many years of experience, the doctor could not help expressing his astonishment.

  “I’m sterile.” Alistair closed his fingers so tightly around Sophia’s that she had to stifle a flinch of pain.

  “Who told you that?” John couldn’t believe it. Neither as a friend, nor as a doctor. “Only one percent of the general population has complete lack of sperm. You had Nathalie. Most cases of male infertility can be resolved either by treating the problem or using fertility treat—”

  “John.” Alistair cut in, because he could not deal with false hopes. “I was diagnosed by Dr. Benjamin Lodes.”

  That halted John. Dr. Lodes was one of the best urologists in the UK. He put his glasses on to hide the pity in his blue eyes. “I see.”

  “We’ve thought about Mayo,” Sophia told John. “But I’d rather do it with you.”

  “I’d be honored. I have here the best donors in the UK, all of them tested and interviewed at length. Their families are taken into consideration. The final decision is yours, of course. However,” he looked very seriously at the couple in front of him, “like all things in life, donated sperm doesn’t come with a guarantee. Sophia, I’ll need some exams.”

  As John explained what was going to happen and what they needed to do, the only words that resonated in Alistair’s mind were, ‘donated sperm doesn’t come with a guarantee.’

  What the fuck have I asked of Sophia? How can I guarantee everything will be all right?

  Atwood House

  Wednesday, December 22, 2010

  11:03 p.m.

  “Two more nights,” he bit out in her hair and tightened his arm around her waist. Stop, Sophia. You’re driving me insane.

  Her hand stopped drawing eights around his nipple and she propped on an elbow. “What?”

  “Just thinking out loud,” he answered, sighing with relief. I’m dying here, trying to control myself. Alistair loved it when she played with his nipples. It aroused him so easily. He raised his leg a bit to hide his rising erection. “Sleep. We’re leaving early for Craigdale tomorrow.”

  Damn, he is sexy. Sophia put her head back on his chest and her nail began the torture again.

  Okay, that’s enough. “Stop.” His fingers curled around her slender wrist securing her arm against his upper abs. He stretched his other arm and turned off his bedside lamp. “Let’s sleep.” This is ridiculous, Alistair Connor, you’re not a teenager anymore.

  In the dark, he felt Sophia’s cheek move and realized she knew what was happening. He groaned, “Finding it funny?”

  “No.” But then her chest started to tremble and her laughter bubbled out loud.

  “Keep laughing,” he growled, wanting to laugh with her, but his unfulfilled arousal was not fu
nny at all. “Keep laughing, my lady. Two more nights and I’ll have you.”

  “I can hardly wait.” She shifted and disappeared below the coverlets, murmuring, “Meanwhile, let’s make you more comfortable.”

  Scotland, Highlands, Loch Arkedanaskan

  Craigdale Castel

  Friday, December 24, 2010

  4:52 p.m.

  “Bye-bye. Happy Christmas.” Gabriela waved to Felipe on Skype and blew him a kiss, vacating the chair in front of Sophia’s MacBook Pro and jumping into Alistair’s arms.

  With an open smile, Sophia said to her brother’s image on the screen, “Merry Christmas, Brother.”

  They chatted for a few minutes happily and as Sophia started to bid him farewell, Felipe halted her, saying, “Ah-ah, little Sis, before you say goodbye, tell me what is nagging you.”

  How can he be so perceptive? Alistair looked from Felipe’s face on the screen to Sophia’s and wondered what she would say.

  With a long sigh, she blurted out, “I’m just tired and a bit worried.”

  “Tired? Worried? The über Sophia? Aaah, no. That’s not possible,” Felipe joked, before tenderly remarking, “Sis, everyone has the right to have a holiday, you know? Why don’t you take a break from your PhD? Or from Leibowitz Oil? Let me talk to this big husband of yours. Someone has to put a leash on you.”

  Wait until you know everything. “Shoot, Felipe. I’m here.” Alistair angled the laptop a bit. Leave it to me to make things even more complicated for her.

  Sophia studied her brother-in-law who was sitting in front of her at the dining table.

  Tavish hadn’t said a word since he had arrived a few hours ago. Although he had joined them in the Laird Library, he kept staring down at his whisky. Dressed all in black, in a plain heavy wool turtleneck sweater under a well-cut blazer and straight trousers, he seemed in mourning. His eyes were hooded and his long black lashes made shadows on his cheekbones. From time to time, his lips clamped down in a thin line. Even though the castle was full of friends and family, nobody approached him.

  When they moved to the dining room, Lachlann’s and Alice’s smiles were so strained that Sophia thought they might start to cry.

  The usual table for twelve had been opened and laid out for twenty-four and the heavy wood console tables had been moved, forming one long table full of different kinds of seasonal foods and sweetmeats.

  Sophia helped herself and sat in front of Tavish, but he didn’t even look at her.

  “What’s the problem?” she asked Alistair in a whisper, jutting her chin at her brother-in-law.

  He raised his ink-black eyebrows in pity. “It’s a difficult time for him.”

  To Alistair’s amazement and approval, Sophia struck Tavish in the chest with a chestnut.

  Tavish jerked his head up. Glowering through thin slits, he perused the table to discover who had dared tease him when he was in such a sour mood.

  The whole table went dead silent.

  Before he could say anything, Sophia, who was playing with another chestnut in her fingers, declared, “We missed you when we were decorating the tree, Brother-in-law. You know Alistair Connor can only reach so far.”

  “Ha! Next time, you get another on the ladder.” Alistair watched as she deliberately started to peel her chestnut. I want to see what you are going to do now, Brother. “Not even Tavish Uilleam could have reached the top.”

  Astonished, Tavish realized Sophia had thrown the chestnut at him. He gazed around and saw that his father was staring at her in wonder.

  Getting close to Tavish was as hard as peeling a pineapple with one’s bare hands, but once he allowed someone in, he embraced them wholeheartedly. He couldn’t resist Sophia’s charming and playful ways.

  Tavish’s lips curled up and his eyes brightened. He was fiercely protective of those he loved, especially his family, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fool around with them, too. He relaxed on the chair, and just to provoke his brother, he blew Sophia a kiss. With a stylish salute of his hand, he huskily said, “You can always count on me, Sophia. As you know, this brother of mine is useless.”

  What the fuck? Incredulous, Alistair gaped at Sophia as she blew a kiss back to Tavish.

  “Sophia MacCraig.” Her name left his mouth in a growl and made the whole table laugh.

  “Lord Caveman, please!” She turned in her chair and raised her hands at him as if to protect her head. “Don’t club me.”

  Alistair gripped her hands in one of his, and her chin with the other. In front of everyone, he kissed her right on the mouth, not caring about the children’s giggles, or the whistles and cheers coming from the adults.

  Tavish felt envy and happiness fill him at the same time. Alistair and Sophia were so openly smitten. Both were beautiful, intelligent, and witty. She had made Alistair smile, and he had made Sophia blossom.

  He knew a love like theirs could be found just once in life.

  “She’s so excited,” Alistair murmured to Sophia as they exited the girls’ room hand in hand. Since their arrival on Thursday morning, Gabriela had been awed with the wonderful Christmas decorations that delicately wound the whole castle, making it feel as if they had entered Santa Claus’s home.

  Lachlann had waited for their arrival to decorate the enormous Christmas tree already entwined with lights. Ariadne and Gabriela had decided which ornaments they wanted to use from a massive storage room filled with a huge selection of the most inventive decorations Sophia had ever seen. Michael declined, saying he was too old to play with girls.

  “It’s her first real Christmas in a normal family after all.” She halted in the middle of the corridor. “I’m quite confused about this.”

  Confused? “About what?” You confound me.

  “Gabriela and I, we’re Jewish. You’re Catholic. We had an ecumenical wedding. What will the baby be?”

  Good question. “Both,” he answered simply, while they made their way to their bedroom. “When she is older, she can decide for herself.”

  “She?” She laughed. “I don’t think you can handle a house full of women.”

  “Are you doubting my talents?” He pinned her down with his forest-green stare, opening the door for her.

  “Oh, no, Lord Macho-man.” She purposely brushed her breasts on his arms and his breath hitched. A smile graced Sophia’s lips. “At least, I know you can handle one woman very well.”

  What have I done to deserve such a provocative woman? He rolled his eyes at himself and followed her into the dressing room, leaning on the doorway as she neatly hung her leather jacket in the exact place she had taken it from. His lust was wakened by the sensuous strip-tease she was doing without realizing it. He instantly started to disrobe too, but his clothes were thrown on the armchair.

  Alistair cleared his throat and finished his previous thoughts, “Of course, it doesn’t really matter, boy or girl. We can have others after—”

  Others? “Wh-at?”

  The way she lengthened the word made him grin. Many others. “At least one more,” he informed her, checking out the way her nipples hardened as she took off her bra.

  “Alistair Connor. No, no, no.” She stopped undressing to ogle him in the mirror with her hands on her hips. “At least one more? What does that mean?”

  Keep undressing. “Exactly this. I want to have at least two children with you.”

  She shook her head, and pursed her lips, looking at him as if he were a disobedient child. “Nooo way.” Hmm, maybe. I like the idea.

  He smiled and dropped the subject. He had seen the joy sparkling in her eyes before she looked away to unzip her skirt, and her long midnight-black braid brushed her spine, tantalizing his senses even more. She was undressing piece by piece, slowly unwrapping herself as if she were a Christmas gift just for him. Her sheer black thigh-highs made her legs even more tempting. When her hands went to her back to undo the garter belt, he already had a raging erection jutting out from between his strong legs. In a long step he was b
ehind her.

  “Stop.” His strong hands gripped hers and pulled them in a vise behind her back.

  For a moment, she didn’t understand until she saw the feral look in his eyes.

  Alistair enforced the grip on her wrists and slightly tugged at her arms, directing her to the armchair.

  There were no words. No explanations given or required.

  He sat her on the edge of the armchair and put her feet over its arms as he crouched between her opened thighs, blowing delicately into her folds.

  Sophia gripped the back of his head, gasping and moaning in undisguised delight, knowing the most enjoyable of pleasures and tortures was about to start.

  Alistair loved hearing the little moans she couldn’t avoid letting out. He knew she enjoyed receiving oral sex as much as he liked giving it to her. He flashed her one devilish smile before lowering his head to capture her clit in his mouth.

  Sophia couldn’t stop the delighted gasp that escaped her when his tongue began feasting on her. Arching at the contact, her hands became even more entangled in his silky, long hair as she pulled him against her. She put her feet over his shoulders for better support and his skilled fingers entered the play. Her thighs opened even more, inviting him deeper and his sinful tongue began to lap her faster and faster. A cry of pleasure left her mouth as she bucked and ground her pelvis against his face and fingers in a desperate attempt to come. “Please. Faster, more. Now.”

  Paying her words no heed, his tongue never ceased its explorations as he leisurely devoured her. His face was buried in her; he was completely immersed in her. He was drowning and didn’t want salvation from her sweet taste of honey and ambrosia.

  “Mmm…you’re delicious,” he growled, taking her to a delirious state. “I can’t get enough.”

  Her ankles crossed over his nape and he knew that she was almost there.

  “Oh. More.” Her cries couldn’t be contained anymore and her hands clutched desperately at Alistair’s hair. “Don’t stop. Now.”