The experience Jessica described goes to the heart of why Brandon and I wrote this book, and why LaL teaches this work. Too many organizations, families, and public arenas are infected by politics and performance anxiety pressure. But this chronic egosystem context is totally unnecessary.
When we create a culture of emotional safety in our teams and organizations, we allow people to deactivate these self-preservation behaviors. Relationships become simpler, initiatives more inspiring. We find the courage to acknowledge our shortcomings and work on them transparently. “How do I feel?!” one senior executive exclaimed recently to a colleague of mine. His incessant mind chatter had vanished. “I’ve got half of my brain back and I didn’t even know it was missing.” When leaders model and welcome self-awareness around ego drivers, they help unleash people’s full potential. Our energy focuses on growing, being connected to others, and co-creating something larger.
Each of us brims with this incredible generosity and creativity. We are wholly capable of putting aside our ego’s ambitions to reach with others for a higher calling. Not only do we not have to build our lives and careers at the expense of others—we don’t want to.
In 2008, just a few months after Encore’s significant layoff, Brandon held a town hall meeting in India. At the end, Vikram, one of their top account managers, pulled him aside.
“What do Encore employees in the U.S. think of India?” he asked Brandon.
Unsure of Vikram’s intent, Brandon hesitated. Then he told him the truth. “They don’t understand,” he responded. “And mostly, they’re afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Of losing their jobs.”
“We don’t want to succeed at their expense,” Vikram responded forcefully. He grabbed Brandon’s arm and looked him right in the eye. “I want you to tell them that. Promise me you will!”
Brandon was moved by Vikram’s passion and boldness. “Our Indian employees lived in far more challenging conditions than our U.S. work-force,” Brandon told me later, “and yet they were concerned about our welfare. They wanted their success to buoy the United States, not undermine or replace.”
People yearn for a different paradigm. When we make others good, we build a momentum of trust and inspiration. We think about contributing instead of winning. Each additional person who steps up creates positive ripples throughout an organization—and, the more senior you are, the more impactful your behavior.
At different points over the past few years, I doubted whether it was wise to write a book with the CEO of a debt collection company. Would LaL be judged for associating with this industry?
It was a risk—but it was outweighed by the opportunity to question our conviction, in all aspects of our lives, that there are heroes and villains. That colleague or department that doesn’t get it? You now know to identify how it serves your egosystem to make them bad. That company or industry that is a menace to society? Sorry, but the people working in it are just like you and me. Struggling to get by or get ahead, feeling too stressed to be guided by a noble goal, or too powerless or righteous to consider the consequences of their actions inside or outside their organization. Not because they don’t care, but because their egosystem, like yours and mine, is preoccupied by self-worth. Every time we react to an email, or vent about that other department, or judge silently in our mind, we perpetuate a context of egosystem behaviors. Every time we castigate people on the other side of an issue, we help ensure that the gridlock continues.
But an individual named Brandon, who just happened to be the CEO of a public company, had the courage to really question himself— time and time again. To appear imperfect or inferior; to accept that he might be wrong; to choose his goals for the larger context even when it felt vulnerable for his ego. It sounds so straightforward, yet perhaps you sense how rare it is. And within Encore, leader after leader took similar risks.
We each have this choice. At every moment, we either fuel or transcend these collective dysfunctions. While Brandon and Encore’s transformation happened over a period of time, you as a leader have the ability to start showing up differently at work and at home tomorrow:
•Notice the moments in your life when you experience a pinch. It might be an event or something someone says or does.
•Instead of reacting, search for what is triggered in you. What is that visceral discomfort you’re trying to numb or you’re blaming others for? How is your sense of self-worth threatened?
•Look outward and consider what vulnerabilities others might be feeling behind their veneer of strength or indifference. Empathize with how they feel in danger.
•Take the risk of disclosing how you feel vulnerable. Share your ego threat, not your mind chatter. Model a context of safety.
If you want the politics and turf wars in your organization to stop, it starts with you. Working on yourself is the highest act of leadership.
Brandon and I are counting on you. In the end, this book isn’t just about your development as a leader or the performance of your organization. It’s about what we’re capable of creating together when we break out of the prison of our ego.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Significant Contribution
We want to express our gratitude to Noah Nuer for your commitment and contributions to this book. From crafting the narrative to clarifying key ideas to helping with the book’s design, you have been an instrumental contributor. Without your pushback and suggestions, this book would not be where it is today.
Brandon Black
To my best friend and partner in life, Dana. Without you, the Encore journey ends very differently, and this book never gets written. Thank you for insisting that I always strive to be a better father and husband.
To my parents, for pushing me to be my best and committing your professional lives to improving our public school system. I am inspired by your decision.
To Keith, for staying the course, being true to yourself, and not quitting on me as a big brother.
To Paul Grinberg, my good friend. You will never know how much I miss you and value your opinion. I am eternally grateful for our nine years working together.
To Mike Barone, Uri Feldman, Chris Lee, Greg Koch, Dan Feder, Scott Huennekens, Drew Clark, Tom Garfinkel, Adam Boehler, Will Beamer, Jamie Levine, and Kelly Grismer, my good friends and YPO Forum mates. Thank you for always being there for me throughout my journey at Encore and for giving me the confidence that I could succeed.
To Carl Gregory and Barry Barkley, thank you for guiding a sometimes-angry young man. I am honored to have worked with you.
To George Lund, for pushing me outside my comfort zone and making me a better CEO.
To Amy Anuk, for sharing your story, especially when it became uncomfortable. You’re an amazing leader.
To Manu Rikhye, a once-in-a-lifetime talent. You taught me how to openly love your coworkers while holding them accountable to almost unattainably high standards.
To Greg Call, Jim Syran, Ashish Masih, Jay Cherry, and the other ridiculously talented executives I got to work with at Encore. This story doesn’t do you justice.
To Fritz Heirich, for leaving a successful career to join Encore and for being a gentleman when it didn’t work out.
To Nigel Morris, who took a chance on me at Capital One, taught me how to think, and was gracious enough to take my call many years after I left. You are a brilliant man with a huge heart.
To Shayne, who held the mirror in front of me and gave me a hug when I needed it. I look forward to our next collaboration!
To Lara Nuer, who knew exactly what to say when I was struggling and who cared enough to help me dig deep to connect to the emotions I suppressed for too long.
To G.W. Collins, my grandfather. I miss you very much.
Shayne Hughes
To Learning as Leadership’s cofounders Claire Nuer and Sam Cohen, for creating the methodology we teach in our programs. In writing this book, I am simply a steward and a spokesperson for the practi
cal insights you codified. (The methodology was later supplemented by Marc-André Olivier, Noah Nuer, Lara Nuer, and myself.)
To Lara Nuer, who co-led with me the leadership and culture change work LaL did with Encore. It’s an injustice that none of the vignettes that helped convey the story described your invaluable part in Encore’s transformation.
To Carole Levy and Marc-André Olivier, who coached many Encore executives and delivered WeLead to an ever-growing group of leaders within the organization.
To Jamie Babin, who played an important role in the early WeLead sessions and collaborated with Encore’s HR team to enhance their impact on the organization.
To the entire LaL team, who helped make the writing of this book possible and who continue to bring this work to industries and organizations small and large.
To Jenny Jedeikin and Lari Bishop, who helped Brandon and me to make Encore’s compelling story come alive on the page.
To Brandon, for your generosity of spirit, and for making our collaboration simple, inspiring, and ego free.
To all the employees at Encore Capital, who did the real work. My colleagues and I offer an opportunity for self-awareness, constructive communication, and clarity of purpose (and some nudging). You all took that opportunity and ran farther and faster than I believed possible
INDEX
A
alignment
between Brandon Black and Fritz Heirich, 90
on collective goals, 121
morale and, 113
Anuk, Amy, 116
being vulnerable and authentic, 166–171, 172–175
biases and blind spots, 152–159
effect of behavioral patterns on life course, 159–166
noble goal, 208
overview, 151–152
360-degree feedback, 160–161
anxiety/fears. See also desired and dreaded images
defensive ego and, 138
feeling unsafe versus feeling challenged, 103
performance anxiety paradigm, 215–216
“at the mercy” mindset
characteristics of, 26
overview, 23–24
sense of being in no-win situation, 27
shifting to “at the source” mindset, 44–45
“at the source” mindset
characteristics of, 26
goals and, 46
overview, 25
shifting from at the mercy mindset to, 44–45
authenticity. See also “at the source” mindset; VEDEC
Amy Anuk, 172–175
context and, 197
emotional clarity and, 45
emotional safety and, 88–89
growing comfortable with, 101
VEDEC, 127–130, 146, 173
vulnerability and, 166–171
B
Barkley, Barry, 4
behavior
correcting, 47–56
effect of behavioral patterns on life course, 159–166
emotional clarity and, 127
getting past ego, 38–47
learned, 31–38
noble goal and, 209–210
reactive
conflict avoidance, 60, 157
defensive and guarded, 61
dysfunction and, 57–63
overview, 57–60
overwhelmed, 61
versus sorting pinches, 55
tactical, 61
Us vs. Them dynamics, 61
trap of “right” behavior, 44
being goals, 46
“being right”
fallacy of, 112
toxic habit of, 105–112, 119
biases, 152–159
Black, Dana, 3, 5, 22, 31–32, 133–134, 184–185, 226
blind spots, 152–159
C
Call, Greg, 198–201, 213, 224, 229
caring, 129. See also empathy
Cherry, Jay, 76–78
commitment
of Brandon Black, 31, 58, 229
Consumer Bill of Rights, 199–200
power of commitment in face of failure, 210–219
communication
constructive, 122–130
direct, 129
emotional safety and, 88
reversing downward spirals, 113–121
self-fulfilling prophecies, 65–69, 74, 119
toxic habit of being right, 105–112
competitive environment, emotional safety and, 89
confirmation bias, 66
conflict avoidance, 60, 157
connection goals, 46
constructive communication, 122–130
reactive, 128
VEDEC, 127–130
Consumer Bill of Rights (Encore), 198–202, 207, 212–213
Consumer Credit Research Institute, 219
Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, 219, 222
context
authenticity and, 197
emotional safety and, 88
noble goal and, 208, 217–218
performance anxiety paradigm and, 216
contribution goals, 46
creative power, 140–149
cultural breakdowns, 75–82
cultural dysfunctions
conflict avoidance, 60, 157
defensive and guarded, 61
healing, 121
overwhelmed reaction, 61
reactive behavior and, 57–63
tactical reaction, 61
Us vs. Them dynamics, 61
D
Deepwater Horizon, 216
default experience (self-fulfilling prophecy), 68
defensive and guarded reactions, 61
“defensive ego”, 137–138
derailers. See also cultural dysfunctions
cultural, 61
forms of, 35
justifying, 12–13
desired and dreaded images
Amy Anuk, 157
overview, 17–18
personality conflicts and, 65
social side effects and, 62
transparency and, 19–20, 62–63
direct communication, 129. See also communication
diversity initiative (Encore), 170–171, 174, 208
downward spirals
at organizational level, 72, 74
personality conflicts and, 65
reversing, 113–121
self-fulfilling prophecies and, 67–69
dysfunctions
healing, 121
reactive behavior and, 57–63
conflict avoidance, 60, 157
defensive and guarded, 61
overview, 57–60
tactical and overwhelmed, 61
Us vs. Them dynamics, 61
E
“ego is good” myth, 13
ego threats
acknowledging, 111
identifying, 55, 75, 119–120
knee-jerk reactions to, 38
pinches and, 52–54
recognizing, 20–29, 52
sharing, 128
value of defusing, 112, 174
egosystem
as cause of misunderstanding, alienation, and stalled progress, 156–159
characteristics of, 12
defined, 11
dollar cost of, 80–81
effect of underperformance on, 215
empathy and, 102
motivation, 73
recognizing triggers, 52–54
strengths and weakness and, 45–46
emotional clarity
behavior patterns and, 127
motivation and, 44–45
emotional safety
creating culture of, 100, 231
judgments and, 101
vulnerability and, 83–90
empathy
benefits of empathizing instead of judging, 197
egosystem and, 102
importance of combining with directness, 130, 172
during layoffs, 84
power of, 91–96
replacing jud
gment with, 120
VEDEC, 127–130, 146, 173
versus sympathy, 95
Encore Capital
changes in hiring, 113
Consumer Bill of Rights, 198–202, 207, 212–213
Consumer Yearbook, 209
developing transparency, 62–63
difficulties in 2007, 47
Encore India and, 75–80
finding noble goal, 198–202, 216–217
first seminar at LaL, 14–20
Investment Committee, 117–118
Investor Day, 183–187
managing layoffs, 83–104
“One Team, One Dream” initiative, 205–206
purpose of business, 3–4
second seminar at LaL, 32–38
2012 acquisition, 222–225
WeLead program, 59
Encore India, 47–48, 75–80, 96–99, 132, 203–204, 225
Enneking, Brian, 209
executives
feeling of powerlessness, 178–183
self-awareness of, 156
exploratory mindset, 129, 173
external glass ceiling, 165, 171
F
fears. See anxiety/fears
feedback
difficulty in delivering in constructive way, 33, 35–36
observations versus judgments, 40–43
reactive behaviors to, 11
360-degree feedback
Amy Anuk, 160–161
Brandon Black, 9–10
feeling challenged, 103
feeling unsafe, 103. See also emotional safety
fight–flight reactions, 11, 94, 189
G
glass ceiling, 165, 171
goals
aligning on collective goals, 121
connection, 46
contribution, 46
noble goal, 203–210, 216–217
non-self-worth, 46
self-worth, 46
at the source mindset and, 46
strengths and weakness and, 45
Great Places to Work Institute, 225
Gregory, Carl, 2, 4, 114
Grinberg, Paul, 4–8, 63, 142, 223–224
Consumer Bill of Rights, 200–201
first seminar at LaL, 16–17
handling layoffs, 84–85
on infighting, 79
Investment Committee, 116
self-fulfilling prophecy, 70–74
on strategic decisions at Encore in 2005, 79
group collusion, 73
Ego Free Leadership Page 23
