by Kaylee Ryan
“Am I allowed to come inside?” she asks, humor lacing her voice.
“You can do whatever the hell you want,” I tell her.
“Then let me in, Riggins.” Stepping out of my hold, she places her hand against my chest and pushes me back as she steps forward. Reaching behind her, I close the door. “How were the newlyweds?”
“Great.” She smiles. “Their new house is so pretty. She’s just starting to decorate, but it’s really cute. I’m a little jealous. My apartment is not as appealing now.” She laughs.
“You can do whatever you want here,” I tell her.
“What? I can’t just redecorate your house.”
Our house. “Sure you can. I don’t really have an eye for any of that. Do whatever you want. In fact…” I reach into my wallet and hand her my credit card. “…do your worst, baby.”
“I love your house,” she says, spinning to get a full view. We’re still standing in the foyer.
“It’s nice, but it could use a woman’s touch,” I say, pulling her back into my arms.
“Maybe we can do it together?” she asks, eyes full of hope as she stares up at me.
“Done.” I place a kiss on the tip of her nose. “What are our plans for the night?”
“I’ve got nothing. Hadley and Derek are going to his parents’.”
“What about going to see Jase, Sam, and baby Aria?” Her eyes light up. “Jase just called and invited us over. Said Sam needs some girl time.”
“You know I’m down for my baby fix.” She grins.
Fifteen minutes later, we’re pulling into their driveway. Sawyer is so excited she doesn’t wait for me to open the door for her. She’s bouncing on the balls of her feet in front of my car, waiting on me. “Come on, slowpoke.” She waves her hands in a “come here” motion.
“We just saw them at the hospital last week,” I remind her.
“A whole week, Royce. Seven long days without my baby Aria fix.” She grabs my hand as soon as I’m within reaching distance and hauls me up the steps. She knocks, and Jase tugs open the door a short while later with Aria resting against his chest.
“Aw, gimme.” Sawyer reaches for the baby. “Wait, I need to wash my hands. I’ll be right back.” She darts inside, slipping past Jase. I hear her call out “Hello” to Sam as she makes her way to the bathroom to wash her hands.
“I might have to fight your girl for my daughter,” Jase says, a serious look on his face.
“Come on.” I laugh, slapping him on the shoulder and walking into the house. By the time we make it to the living room, Sawyer is finished and reaching for Aria.
“Come on, Daddy,” she coos to Jase. “Let me have a turn, you baby hog.”
“She’s my daughter,” Jase defends.
“Go cuddle with your fiancée,” she tells him. His eyes dart to Sam, and that’s all it takes to relinquish his daughter to Sawyer.
“Hold her head,” he tells her.
“I’ve got this, Andrews, now go.” Sawyer snuggles baby Aria, taking a seat on the oversized chair. I choose to sit across from her so I can watch them together. I can’t help but let my mind wander to her holding our baby girl. I’ve always wanted kids. Growing up with four brothers, I knew I wanted children, and wanted them to have that same upbringing as I had. I thought that dream was dead and gone, but looking at Sawyer, it’s like looking at my future, and I can see it all clearly. That’s our life, a house full of kids, constant, happy chaos.
“What’s been going on?” Jase asks.
I tear my eyes from Sawyer. “Same old. Opening a new location in Ohio.”
“My old stomping grounds,” he says with a nod.
“What about you?”
“Doing the dad thing.” He smiles, and I swear I’m afraid his face might crack his grin is so wide. “Nothing better, my man.”
I glance back to Sawyer and Aria. “Yeah,” I agree. I don’t know the exact feeling, but I know how my heart swells watching her with Aria. I can only imagine that would intensify ten-fold with our child.
“You need one,” Sam says with a sleepy smile.
“We do,” I agree.
Sam’s eyes widen at my admission of we. “You doing okay, Momma?” I ask her.
“I’m so sorry,” Sawyer blurts. “I’m such a bad friend, but she’s so cute.” She smiles down at Aria. “How are you feeling?” she asks Sam.
“Good. Exhausted.” She looks over at Jase, and the look they share causes a wave of longing to rush over me. I want what they have.
“Why don’t the two of you go take a nap? We can watch the princess for a few hours,” I suggest.
“Mom and Dad are coming over tomorrow,” Jase says, “to give us a break. They have Logan and Kacen’s kids today, and we didn’t want all the germs around Aria. Not yet anyway.”
“We’ve got her,” Sawyer assures them.
“Babe,” Sam says, and Jase gives her his full attention. “She just ate.”
“We’ve never left her.”
“We’re going to be right here, man. You’ll be right upstairs. I promise if we need you, we’ll come and get you.”
“If she does something cute, you better take a picture,” Jase says, glancing over at Aria sleeping in Sawyer’s arms.
“Come on, player,” Sam says. “Let’s go take a nap.”
Jase looks torn, but when Sam tries to stand up from the couch on her own, he jumps into action and scoops her up in his arms. “We’ll be right upstairs.”
“We’ve got this,” I tell him. “Four little brothers, remember?”
He nods, takes one last look at Aria, and then his feet are moving, carrying them upstairs. “Come sit with me.” I pat the loveseat next to me. Sawyer carefully stands and comes to take the spot next to me. Once she’s settled, I place my arm around her shoulders.
“She’s so sweet,” she whispers.
“You want kids?” I ask her.
“Yeah,” she says wistfully. “At least three. I was an only child, and I hated it. Now that Mom and Dad are gone, it’s just me, and I can’t help but think having a sibling would have been nice.”
“It’s not just you, Sawyer. You know that, right? You have me and my family, Hadley and Derek, Sam, Jase, and this little angel. We might not be blood, but we’re your family. Fuck, beautiful, you’re my entire fucking world.”
“Watch that potty mouth around the baby, Riggins.”
“She’s an infant.”
She shrugs. “She’s still a precious little baby.” She smiles down at a sleeping Aria.
“Sawyer baby, look at me.” I wait for her to give me her eyes. “You’re not alone. There are so many people who love you.” I let what I’ve said sink in before going for it. “I love you,” I tell her, my voice soft. “I choose you to be my family, baby. That’s better than blood. I want you. I choose you.”
Her eyes mist with tears. “You just said that you love me.”
“You caught that, did you?” I ask her.
“Did you mean it?”
“With everything that I am.” Leaning over, I press my lips to hers. “Now, tell me about these babies of ours. Boys or girls?”
A single tear falls from her eye, but the smile on her face tells me the tear is from happiness. With my thumb, I wipe under her eye as she begins to talk about two boys and a girl. That’s how we spend the next hour and a half. Talking about what life would be like raising kids visiting the lake, a swing set in the backyard. I memorize every word of our conversation and vow to give it to her—all of it. I want the picture-perfect life we just created in our minds. Sure, life isn’t perfect. There will be ups and downs, but with Sawyer by my side, we can make it through anything.
Chapter 23
Sawyer
“Has this week been the longest ever, or is it just me?” Marshall asks from where he’s leaning against my desk. It’s Friday afternoon, and he’s right; this week has been hectic as we work to open another location in Northern Ohio.
“It
’s not just you,” I tell him.
“I’m ready to go home and just chill.”
“What? No big plans for this Friday night?”
“None. I just want to get out of this suit and drink a beer. Maybe I’ll order in some wings, or maybe I’ll fire up the grill.”
“It’s too cold outside to grill,” I tell him. It’s the last week of October, and the Nashville air has been chilly.
“My wings are better,” he grumbles.
“I wouldn’t know. You’ve yet to make them for me.”
“Tell my brother to bring you over, and I’ll fix you up,” he says. Something passes in his eyes, but it’s gone before I can name it.
“Rain check?” I ask him. “Royce made me promise not to make any plans this weekend. I don’t know what he’s got up his sleeve.” I watch Marshall for signs that he might know, but his phone rings distracting him.
“Hey, Momma.” He listens. “Sure, I’ll just leave now and head that way.” A long pause. “Love you too.” He hits Ends and slides his phone back into his suit pocket. “Mom needs help moving a few things in the basement. I’m going to head out for the day, run home and change and head over there.”
“What about your wings?”
“Momma’s making dinner, Sawyer. I don’t pass up my momma’s food,” he says, rubbing his belly.
“I don’t blame you there. She’s an incredible cook.”
“Who are we talking about?” Royce asks, joining us.
“Your mom.”
He nods. “I’m heading into a meeting with Owen and Grant about the new Ohio plant. It should be a couple of hours. Come and get me if anything comes up.” He leans down and kisses me. “You’re still mine for the weekend, right?” he asks.
“For as long as you want me.”
“Forever, Sawyer. I want you forever.”
“On that note, I’m out.” Marshall waves and heads back to his office.
I smile up at Royce. “Go to your meeting before you’re late. I already set up some snacks and drinks in the small conference room.”
“What would I do without you?” he asks. “Oh, I’m going to leave my phone with you. The contractor for Ohio might call. I gave him my cell so he can reach me this weekend. We’re on a time crunch. Answer and interrupt us if he calls, please,” he adds.
“I hope neither of us ever find out,” I tell him honestly. “And yes, I’ll watch your phone. That’s my job.”
“You’re mine, baby.” Another quick kiss to the corner of my mouth. “And you’re more than my assistant,” he says before he turns and disappears down the hall for his meeting.
I try to calm my racing heart as I dive back into my hundreds of emails I need to answer. “Sawyer, we’re out,” Conrad says, Marshall hot on his heels. “Mom needs help,” Conrad tells me.
“Uh-huh, you just want free food.”
He winks at me. “Catch ya later, sis.” They both wave as the elevator doors close.
With Marshall and Conrad gone for the day and the other three in a meeting, I should have lots of quiet time to get caught up on these emails, and maybe if I’m lucky, return a few phone calls. I don’t know what Royce has planned for us, but I hope it’s lots of relaxing.
Grabbing my phone, I pull up my playlist and hit Play. Turning the volume down low, I get to work.
“Excuse me,” a female voice snips.
My head whips up as I reach for my phone to hit Pause on my music. “I’m so sorry. I was so engrossed in what I was doing, I didn’t hear you arrive. Can I help you with something?”
“Where’s the other girl? Sarah, or Sally, whatever her name was?”
“Samantha,” I correct. “She’s been gone for a few months now. She’s got a newborn baby girl,” I tell her with a kind smile.
She waves her hand in the air, letting me know she couldn’t care less about Sam and baby Aria. “I’m here to see Royce.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Riggins is in a meeting. Can I give him a message?” I ask politely. I have no idea who this woman is, but she knows Royce apparently.
“No,” she snaps. “I don’t want to leave my husband a message. I’ll just text him.”
“H-Husband?” I stammer out the word.
“Yes. Royce Riggins, my husband.” She rolls her eyes as if having to explain herself is exhausting.
“Your ex-husband,” I find myself saying.
“Not that it’s any of your concern, but we’re working things out.”
“Right.” I laugh humorlessly. My heart is racing, and I want nothing more than to slap the lies out of her. She hurt my gorgeous multi-layered man, and it takes considerable effort not to do so.
“Listen, if you value your job, you’ll respect me. Disrespectful just like Sam. Where in the hell does he find you idiots?” she mumbles, her fingers flying across the screen of her phone.
I brace my hands on the desk, ready to let her have it when Royce’s phone vibrates where it sits next to mine. Glancing at the screen, I blanch at what I see.
Unknown: It was so good to reconnect on Saturday. I can’t wait to see you again. This time it’s going to be different, baby. I can feel it. Miss you.
My knees threaten to buckle as my mind whirls with what I’ve just read. He was with her on Saturday. He lied to me. I fell for it. He had me convinced that he was helping Owen, and Owen, oh God, he was in on it. The room begins to spin as I grapple for my chair to sit.
“Worthless,” she mutters before flipping her hair over her shoulders and stomping off.
I vaguely remember the ding of the elevator and the whooshing sound of the doors closing, but I can’t be sure. All I can think about is that he lied. The man I’ve fallen head over heels for lied to me. He’s back with his ex-wife. I didn’t believe her, but that message. He wasn’t with me Saturday, and he was insistent that he couldn’t change his plans. Pain ricochets in my chest as I fight back the hot tears that prick my eyes.
Quickly, I close down my computer and grab my purse. I survey my desk for anything personal. There is a picture of Had and me at college graduation and one of Royce and me. I grab the picture of Had. Everything else can be trashed. As far as I’m concerned, I want to forget he ever existed. Maybe then the pain will lessen.
I’m able to maintain my composure on the ride to the lobby on the main floor. I rode with Royce today, so I’m going to need to hail a cab. I walk outside to do just that and see the hotel across the street. On impulse, I rush across the street and inside. Within fifteen minutes, I’m in a room dropping to the bed and letting the tears I’ve been fighting coat my cheeks.
The pain in my chest intensifies when I think about Saturday night. Sitting at Jase and Sam’s holding baby Aria, Royce told me he loved me for the first time. We talked about what our life might look like in the future with kids. A sob fills the room as the pain of what he’s done rushes through me.
I don’t know how long I lie here. Long enough for the pillow to be soaked from my tears and exhaustion to set in. My phone has been ringing nonstop, each time it’s Royce or one of his brothers. I’m not ready to talk to them. Not yet. When my phone rings, I start to ignore it, but I’m a glutton for punishment. I glance at the screen. This time it’s Hadley, and a fresh swarm of tears clogs my throat.
“H-Had,” I croak out in greeting.
“Sawyer, where are you?” I can hear her panic in her voice.
“He l-lied to me.”
“Who lied to you?”
“R-Royce.”
“He’s looking for you.”
“I left.”
“Where are you?” she asks again.
“A hotel.”
“You’re safe?” she asks, her voice holding less panic than before.
“Yes.”
“Okay, good.” She sighs in relief. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I start at the beginning. I tell her about Saturday after I left their place, about baby Aria, and Royce telling me that he loved me. It was the perfect moment
of what I thought was raw honesty. It was our moment, and he stole that away from me. All along, he was planning to get back with his ex-wife.
“Sawyer, you know I love you, right?” Hadley asks.
“Yes.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“What?” I wipe at my cheeks.
“Think about all of this, really think about it. Look past what you think is the betrayal and think about what you know about her, what you know about Royce. I don’t believe for a single second that man is getting back with her. Sawyer, he’s beside himself looking for you. He’s a wreck. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that that man isn’t head over heels in love with you.”
“What do you mean?” I’m trying to decipher her words through my tear-fogged head.
“I mean that he’s losing his mind worried about you. There has to be an explanation for all of this.”
“What? I saw the message.”
“Did you see her name on his phone?”
“What?”
“The message. Was her name programmed into his phone?”
I think back to the message. “No.”
“Surely, if they were getting back together, he would have saved her number.”
“Maybe,” I say, letting her words take root in my mind.
“There is no maybe about it. He’s here, Sawyer. Looking at him now, I can say with 100 percent certainty that he’s not getting back with his ex-wife.”
“Then explain it to me.” My voice is pleading, and there is hope. I hope that this could be a misunderstanding, that there is a reason for all of this, and Royce is still the man who owns my heart. The man who loves me.
“It’s not my place to explain.”
“I don’t know if I can see him.”
“This isn’t you, Sawyer. Where is my fierce best friend who kneed her boss in the balls for coming onto her?”
“She fell in love.”
“You love him?”
“Yes.”
“Then fight for him, Sawyer. Don’t let a woman who you already know is a conniving, lying, toxic bitch cause trouble between the two of you.”
“What do you know?” I ask her.
