by Marie Hall
She wanted to give him the answer he wanted but "No" came out on a sob. His fist pounded the dirt again.
"No? What do you mean, no?"
"It was too much. It was more than you should have given them. I could have talked them down to nothing. I could—"
"No," he yelled, sitting back and pulling her up by the front of her gown, giving her a hard shake. "There will never be any quibbling done over you. And there is no price too high to pay. Do you understand? Whatever price is asked, I will pay it."
"No," she sobbed out again and waited.
"Yes," he said, climbing to his feet and pulling her to hers. "Stop shaking your head at me. Stop." It was a command, but she found it impossible to obey.
"Why? Why?"
"Because you are worth it."
She tried to sit back down, if only to protect her seat from a second onslaught. "No."
He pulled her up and against him. "Yes, you are. You are worth everything, anything to me. I would surrender everything I have to get you back. If I did not have enough, I would plunder every kingdom for everything they had to pay for you. And if need be, I would give my life that you would at least be returned to others who will see you always cared for."
"No, no, no," she cried and tried to pull free. She didn't want that. She didn't want his life sacrificed for hers. She couldn't bear it.
"Yes, Io. Yes."
"Why?" It was madness on his part. He could have anyone. She could be replaced with little effort. She was no one at all; she offered him so little of value.
"Because you are the only thing in my life I have of value," he ground out. "You are priceless to me. Nothing I have gained through all my efforts will ever match what I gained when I claimed you. If I had everything plus more, but not you, I would still have nothing. If I have you and not a thing else, I have everything I could ever need."
"I am bad, I do things wrong, I…" He was mad, but his madness held her in a way nothing else could. Not even his arms holding her now, carrying her someplace off the road, held her like this feeling his madness caused.
"My poor heart, you are not bad. You are not." He settled her against him. Holding her the way that made her feel most safe, most secured. "You are not bad. Disobedient and defiant." The heel of his hand rubbed at the tears. "Vulgar, brash and unseemly, but not bad. You have never been bad."
"People do not want me. It is because I am bad," she told him. But she'd told him this before, and like before, he had a ready answer.
"I want you. All my knights and soldiers want you; all the people on our lands want you. We all want you."
"Lord Deux Saunds did not think you did. He was going to take me."
"Io, I do not know what he might have said to you, but he did not think it was I who did not want you. It was, I believe, his notion, you could not want me. That you needed to be protected from me."
Io pulled back, searching his face, and thought about Deux Saunds' words. She hadn't heard much after he declared it was within his power to take her from Xavier. "He said the king would let him take me—"
"If I were to be found to be abusing you, and if you were not my wife. But you are my wife. My wife. Wife by the king's will and reaffirmed will."
"But not only his will?" She continued to search his face, waiting to see something different. But she didn't.
"It is the king's will that matters to all others, Io. It is our will, yours and mine, that matter to us, to me. It is our will that binds us. Not a contract, not a royal command. Our will, our want. And until that changes, no one is going to take you from me."
The flood of relief washed over her, pouring out in great, wracking sobs. Their will kept them together. And if all she'd done thus far hadn't changed that, what might?
"Shh, now. Settle. Io, I have you. I will not leave you, nor let you leave me. Everything will be all right. You will see." Again, he wiped at her tears.
"I will never be able to pay back eighty gold," she said with a hiccup. "There are not so many lessons still to be had that I might earn so much."
"It not an amount you need repay," Xavier said, tucking her close. "But if it makes you feel better, it has already been recouped."
"How?"
"They surrendered, yes, because we took their king, but not before ransom was paid for the four hostages. And I did ask a price of twenty five each."
"Twenty five? And it was paid?"
"It was. All hostages were top men."
"Twenty five four times is one hundred."
"So it is, and a profit of twenty gold," he said, squeezing her gently. "So see, you have made me richer."
They sat a while, until Xavier thought they could sit no more and make it back to the house before dark. They walked back holding hands, and at the gates, he stopped her once more, drew her close and told her again, "You are worth it." Then he kissed her, long and deep while anyone about cheered.
Chapter 15
"I could have you all removed from this house and these lands," Xavier said and watched the four women before him tremble. "And but for the fact your lady claims full responsibility—"
"It was not my lady's idea to—" Ann said, stepping forward.
"Hold your tongue," Roth snarled from just behind her.
"Lady Io claims full responsibility for the misadventure," Xavier went on. "And for the fact no one was harmed, I am willing, this time, to allow these men who claim responsibility for you to settle this matter, if I have their assurances it will be done so that no such foolishness occurs a second time, no matter whose idea it might be." He watched nervous glances pass between the women and relief wash across the faces of the men he'd be letting handle this from here on.
There was never a chance he'd be setting any of these women from his house or lands, but it couldn't hurt to remind them he had that power. He still didn't even know what they'd been about and it'd been a struggle to get Io to confess how they managed to slip past the gates. Only after she'd his sworn oath he'd not do anything to the gate keepers, had she directed him to watch how everyone was rushed through at the end of the day without being checked. He could hardly hold the soldiers responsible as what they did was common at every holding, everywhere. Though, now, he'd put in place new procedures and sent word to not only his other houses, but to the king as well, alerting them of the weakness in their defenses.
"I have your word you will ensure no such thing happens again?" Xavier directed the question to those men Io's women were entrusted to. Nodding heads and a chorus of "yes, my lord" followed. "And each of you accepts the authority of these men to attend you as they see fit? Even you, Mistress Kate?" More nervous glances but, again, nods and affirmative replies, though more sourly given. "Then out with you, I've better matters to attend than a clutch of willful females," Xavier said, dismissing them with a wave of his hand. "Sir Cutler," Xavier called before the last man could slip out the door.
"My lord?" He sounded a bit too impatient to attend Mistress Kate.
"You will see to the banns being read," Xavier said, no question in his tone.
"My lord."
"This week."
"My lord," Cutler confirmed with a smile.
The door closed and Xavier sat, satisfied for now. Mistress Ruth was already wed and with Kate and Ann properly engaged, it left only Mistress Jude to contend with. But she was under her cousin's protection for now, another soldier in Xavier's ranks who, hopefully, could keep her out of mischief until Io decided to again play matchmaker.
He shuffled through papers on his desk, looking to see if any correspondence worth noting had arrived during his absence. A few letters from his other holdings, which meant Io had received some of those coveted words from those most trusted men. That was sure to cheer her. She still seemed a bit rattled by the way the games ended.
He'd been utterly shocked by Io's misunderstanding of Andre's offer of assistance. More so, he'd been incensed at her refusal to believe her own value, after all they'd been through and all th
ey'd discussed. After he'd expressed clearly what she meant to him, he could barely understand it. The best he could make out, having a hard figure placed on her person was more real to her than his word. What she brought to the marriage and what she gave to him as his wife could not have a value placed on it. He couldn't be insulted, though. Io worked with absolutes, and she balanced those against her own experiences. She didn't understand 'priceless', but she knew from experience, eighty gold was a great sum to be had. It might be worth sitting down with her and asking her what she thought he might have to pay were he to hire someone to do all she did. Perhaps if she had that figure in her head, he'd have something to counter her years of experience being seen as a burden rather than an asset. He'd need to think on it more. Perhaps write for counsel from those men who knew Io as well as he did.
A knock at his door, though, would not only delay a resolution, it created an entire new problem.
Xavier watched as Io tried again to block Gunther from mounting. "Please, sir, I am sorry. I am sorry," she pleaded as he again set her aside and, this time, successfully mounted.
"My lady, it is not your failing, but mine," Gunther said, taking up the reins of both his horse and the pack animal he was taking with him. Xavier didn't see it as anyone's failing, though he'd hoped when the man came to ask to be released from his service to the house that he might change his mind.
Xavier offered to let him stay on, just not as Io's lead personal guard. He'd refused that, too. And Xavier knew it was because he didn't want to be useless to the house again as he was before Io came.
"Please, do not go. Do not. I will not slip away again. I swear it," Io begged, holding onto his leg as they moved closer to the gates.
"My lady, if I could trust that to be so." He shook his head at her. "And if should I want and it happened, you would no longer be the lady I serve."
They were almost at the gates now. "Please, I can be good. I will be good. Do not go. Gunther, do not leave me." Everyone cringed at those words. Io hadn't understood at all, the man's need to stand aside was a matter of his own pride. Xavier didn't exactly consider him incompetent, but others did. Every time Io did things her way and it put her in danger or it put her in conflict with him, the people looked at Gunther.
The man was only charged with her protection. Xavier knew no one could be successfully charged with controlling. She wasn't a common sort of woman who saw obstacles and turned away from them.
"It has been and will always be my honor to have served you, Lady Io. To have served this house. But I can do it no longer. You need someone more capable than I. I have fallen blind to your ways and because of that, I cannot assure your safety." They passed through the gates and Io took the risk and stepped in front of the horse. That act alone showed how desperate she was. Xavier stepped up now, ready to pull her back if she should continue to try to stand in the way.
"I command you stay," she stated. Xavier could at least be satisfied she'd try to command someone if she'd no other choice, but the fact she couldn't command a man no longer serving the house was bound to make her feel the ability was pointless.
"I have resigned; your lord has accepted the resignation. You do not command me. But I know you will do well in the commands you give those who stay and do what I could not." He leaned forward and, taking a hold of her arm, pulled her to the side of his horse. Xavier moved behind her and Mistress Kate took hold of her hand, perhaps to offer comfort. Leaning in, Gunther said, "You mean everything to me, Io. You have been my heart, my strength and my esteem. You let a crippled old man start you on this path to becoming the great lady you are meant to be. I could ask for nothing else from you." He sat back, shoving her away so she was clear of the animals, "Be well, my lady." And with that, he set his heels down and spurred the horse over the hill and out of sight.
"Come back," Io yelled, jerking free of Xavier's and Kate's hold. "Sir, come back."
Xavier watched her wait to see if the man obeyed. When he didn't, she actually stomped her foot, turned in a circle, and stomped her foot again. "Come back," came on a sob.
"Oh, Io," Kate soothed, stepping up and putting an arm around her.
"He left me," she said, trying to resist being taking back within the gates.
"No, Io. He retired," Xavier said as Kate handed her off. "I knew it was coming; he stayed because of you."
"He left because of me," Io told him and fled back into the house.
Xavier gave her until it neared bedtime before seeking her out. He found her in the small alcove that overlooked her still unfinished garden. She sat staring out at the night, picking at her nails, her bottom lip between her teeth. Taking a seat beside her, he waited to see if she'd direct what he might say.
"What good to be mistress if I have no power to command those in the house?"
"You have the power to command those in the house. Gunther was no longer a member of the house and he was leaving, so not even was he a guest."
"You should not have let him leave me," she said, her biting tone expected.
"He did not leave you; he left the house." Xavier could take blame if she needed him to.
"He left because of me."
"Io." What now? He could keep insisting it wasn't the fact the man had twice let Io escape his watch. Both times, had it happened in only slightly different circumstances, it could have ended very badly. "Io, listen," Xavier started, taking her by the arms and turning her to face him more. "You are correct. Gunther left because he knew he was not capable of keeping up with you. That you need someone who does not expect you might act like any other common lady. You are not common, and that makes you a great deal of work."
"Too much work. How long before everyone leaves me? What good to be in one place if everyone goes but I remain? It is no different than if I go and all others stay. It is my life that I cannot have permanence."
"Io, no one else is going. You let your past darken your view of what is to come." Xavier shifted a little closer and set a hand over hers to stop her picking at those nails. "This is a working house, Io. People come here, and they leave here. Some will pass through and forget, others will stop and make it home."
"There is no such thing as home," Io muttered.
Xavier sighed and pulled her against him. "There is, Io, and I know you will know it in time. Gunther did not leave home; he is heading to it. He has a sister, widowed now, with nieces and nephews he has not met. He was a great soldier in his time, but his time is done. Do you begrudge him a restful old age?" She shook her head and sniffed. "What he said to you, about being thankful you let a crippled old man help you on your way, you should take that to heart, Io. The last battle he fought in, he came home in a cart; he could barely move. And after, I could not take him again into battle, and leaving him to conduct the training overburdened him."
"But he was fine when he was with me; he came with me every day, and he was fine."
"Because, plodding along on the road, stopping to speak with people and seeing to the business of the shires is not so taxing."
"But you said he was there to protect me. Did you send a cripple then to keep me safe? Hoping both of us might die?" Her resentment was sharp, and he ground his teeth at her words but reminded himself it was born from hurt.
"Was he ever the only man to go out with you? No. And his body might have not been fit for battle, but his mind is. It takes more than a strong arm, Io. It takes the ability to think quickly when everything is happening at once. Had the improbable happened and had an attack on you occurred while you went about your duties, he would have been able to keep you safe."
"Then why did he go now? Why did you let him if he is still capable?"
"Io." What could he say? He could tell her what Gunther said when he gave his resignation. He could tell her the man found her hard on his reputation. That he didn't want to end as a failure after having claimed so many victories. He could tell her it was the man's own pride. Being outdone, time and again, by a woman cut. Even if the woman
besting you was uncommon in her own abilities. "Because he is tired. He is old, he is tired, and he wants to rest."
"He is tired of me," she said under her breath but well enough he could hear it. He let it pass, though, and stood holding out a hand to her.
"Come to bed; it is late." He waited, but when she went back to staring out at the night, he walked away. He could only say the words; Io had to choose to accept them.
He was sitting in bed reading when she finally came through the doors, the fear and uncertainty all over her face. She stood there like she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do next until he raised his hand and crooked a finger at her. She was in his arms before he saw her move.
"What is it, my love?" he asked as she trembled against him.
"What happens when you also grow tired of me?" She sniffed and rubbed her face against his chest.
Xavier rolled them so he was over her and tried not to laugh. "Io, you already know the answer to this."
"I do?"
"I tire of you often enough," he said, grinning at her as she tried to reason what he was telling her.
"You do?"
"Yes, and when I am tired enough of you, I thrash you." It wasn't quite the truth, but judging by Io's reaction, it was a truth she could accept.
"You do." She sniffed again, but her expression softened and her arms lifted to wrap around his neck and pull him down. "And there is more time now between every time you tire of me."
"There are often very long stretches," he said as his hand slid up her side and cupped her tit. Even through the material of the gown, he could see her nipple stiffen. "Perhaps it is because you are so good at tiring me out and less good at making me tire of you."
She seemed to be thinking on that one. "Do you say I am improving, in your opinion?"
Ah, there it was, the hint of her building confidence. It wouldn't be long before this no longer held her back. "You improve with every breath you take. Though I cannot know what might come next for you. You are already a goddess." He dipped his head a little more.
