She saw a normal party with all the components. A group of guys were in the living room watching TV without volume while a cheap stereo blared, and the kitchen held a group of girls acting silly. Tony would have called them the Gaggle of Gigglers. Every memory of Tony still hurt. Lilly started to go upstairs.
Someone called, “Lilly.” She turned and saw EO.
“Eileen, what are you doing here?” Lilly rushed down the stairs.
“I came to see you. Lenore told me your divorce became final. Are you OK?”
“Eileen, you didn’t have to drive all the way across the state. You’re a sweetheart. I’ve been melancholy, I’m going to be OK.”
“Yeah? I put my stuff in your room or what will always be my room to me. Got any boyfriends?”
“God, no! It wasn’t until I got the decree that I really believed … I stopped hoping … God, spare me from men.”
“C’mon, Lil. There’re some mighty good-looking guys around. You can’t judge all men by one bum.”
“He’s not a bum, EO. Don’t say that. I really don’t understand what happened to us. I can’t talk about it yet.”
EO looked mischievous. “Hey Lil, I knew him for years. I know he’s not a bum. I wanted to see your reaction. I always liked him. He stuck with you through thick and thin.”
“Don’t,” Lilly interrupted, noticing her curious roommates gathered around.
“Lil, let’s go dancing. We could never go dancing before since you were always in the band,” Eileen said.
“Sure, c’mon help me get ready. I don’t have anything to wear anymore.” Lilly pulled out her clothes nervously, “Except for the lounge I play at for the middle-aged, I haven’t been out.”
Eileen sat on her bed and dropped her jovial tone. “I got here before the party started. Your roommates told me you were super straight. Did you know they call you ‘Silent Sam?’”
“Are you kidding?”
“No way, José,” Eileen laughed. She then added, “They didn’t know what a hell-raiser you really are until I talked to them. They thought you were some sort of virginal Goody-Two-Shoes. Are you teaching dippy music?”
“Yeah, I guess. What did you tell them?”
“I told them about the time we went to the library parking lot and wrapped a Cadillac in toilet paper, and then you went inside and said the lights were left on and we hid in the bushes. The old witch had a fit.”
“Did you tell them anything about Tony?”
“No, no. I just said you were married too young. They asked about him, but talking about him would be like reading someone’s letters aloud. I didn’t say anything.”
“Thanks. You’re right. My mother had us backed up against a wall.”
“Yeah, between rock and roll and a hard-on,” EO said.
“Eileen, I catch your drift already. It’s my roommates are so young.”
“What? They’re not so young. Lonnie is the only one right out of high school. Issy and Jane are twenty-one, and Carly is twenty like you.”
“I didn’t know. I thought they were kids … I guess I have been lost.”
“I guess.”
In the car, Lilly said, “Hey EO. This is one nice car.”
“Yeah, and I have many nice car payments to make,” Eileen laughed. “But, it’s OK. Why, I’m almost rich, working full time, and I got a raise when state board results came in.”
“How’s your romantic life? Any cute interns?”
“No interns, but I met this guy. He’s wonderful. His name is Everett LaRoche. He lays tile.”
“Everett LaRoche? Is that French?”
“He’s Heinz 57, but he is a full quarter Irish.”
“So how long will this true love last? Two months?”
“I’ve been seeing him since June. I really like him,” Eileen said with uncharacteristic earnestness.
“Gravy-type like?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Then tiles are not the only thing he’s laying,” Lilly quipped.
“Lil, I know that after that ‘rock and a hard-on’ crack, I deserved that, but it’s not like that,” Eileen said quietly.
“Eileen, are you telling me after all these years of fucking around, you’ve turned virgin?”
“No. We make love all the time, but it’s … ” Eileen hesitated.
“Special?” Lilly asked.
“Yes,” Eileen agreed softly.
They remained quiet for the rest of the ride.
The next morning all the roommates were digging out from the night before.
“How many people were here anyway?”
“Tons,” Issy answered. “You left before it got good.”
Lonnie came down and made coffee.
Lonnie was sharply pretty. Her veil of sweet innocence had all her roommates except Lilly doting around making protective noises. Lonnie had a boyfriend in the Army who was supposedly her true love. The other roommates felt sorry for her. Lilly had Lonnie pegged. She was a female who thought with her vagina. Lilly had seen her juggling guys, and she knew that on all those nights Lonnie didn’t come home, she wasn’t visiting her parents in nearby Salamanca.
In fact, judging by her unnerved air, Lilly was fairly certain that this morning that Lonnie had a guy in her room and was wondering how to get him past her roommates without losing her sweet-as-pie reputation. Lilly got herself a cup of coffee and positioned herself to watch the show.
She smirked as she heard Lonnie’s bedroom door open. Lilly was surprised at how good-looking the guy was when he came down the stairs. The timing was perfect for Lonnie, because all the other roommates were in the kitchen swapping stories and impressions of the party. Just after walking him out, Lonnie turned back from the front door and saw Lilly’s expression.
“Well?” Lonnie said to Lilly.
Lilly cattily replied, “Well, what Dearie?” She then returned to the kitchen where the general conversation shifted to Christmas.
Eileen asked, “Lilly, would you come to my house for Christmas? My mother would love to see you. She always asks about you.”
Lilly answered, “I’m not ready to go back there.”
Issy said, “If you change your mind … I mean, no one should be alone over the holidays. Were you always an orphan?”
“An orphan? I’m not an orphan. My mother’s alive, I think. We haven’t seen each other in four years.”
“I saw your mother, Lil. She was in the hospital for a hysterectomy. She’s all right though. In fact, she looked relaxed. She was always so tense. She doesn’t know you’re divorced. I saw some of your brothers and sisters too. Your brother’s married.”
“Did you tell my brothers and sisters I’m divorced?”
“No. I waited for them to ask. They said things like ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time, Eileen. You were such good friends.’ They wouldn’t say your name. You O’Dwyers are such proud Irish. They wouldn’t ask, I didn’t tell them anything.”
“Which one of my brothers is married?”
“The one I always thought was cuter.”
“Patrick?”
“No, the other one.”
“Daniel? That asshole?”
“Yes. They are all assholes.”
“Except the twins,” Lilly defended. “Who is he married to? Is she from Yonkers?”
“I don’t know her name, but she went to St. Clare’s when we were there. Maybe two years ahead of us. She’s pregnant,” Eileen said.
Issy said, “St. Clare’s? Did you both go to Catholic school. We went to Saint Teresa’s.”
Eileen said, “Lilly and I went to St. Clare’s for a few years in grammar school, but we graduated from a huge public high school, or I did anyway.”
“I dropped out,” Lilly said.
Eileen laughed. “Yeah, your Goody-Two-Shoes is some angel. She got kicked out of St. Clare’s, and then dropped out of high school after her sophomore year. And you should have heard the rock and roll band she was in for years!”
>
Lilly could feel their admiration increase as she fell into the familiar bad-girl category.
“Well, Toots, you’re on your own. I have to study for finals,” Lilly told Eileen.
Eileen and Issy went Christmas shopping.
Lilly got her books and set up at the desk in her room, looking at the pages dutifully, but her mind returned to her roommates. She had long had the feeling she and Lonnie would be adversaries, but she couldn’t predict how it would come about. She shrugged it off and took a study break, going downstairs to get the newspaper. She searched the want ads and found an ad for piano/keyboard/singer.
Randy had her keyboards. His phone had been disconnected. She tried Sam next.
“Hi, Sam?”
“Yes?”
“This is Lilly. I need my keyboards. Do you know where Randy is?”
“Lilly? Della Robbia? Shit, how are you girl?”
“I’m OK, I guess. I’m not della Robbia anymore. I’m back to O’Dwyer. I live upstate or more cross-state in Jamestown.”
“Yeah? You and Tony really got divorced? I saw him a few months ago. He said you split, I thought you’d get it together.”
“Not likely. Are you in a band?”
“Yeah. A hard rock band called Tights. Randy’s lead guitar.”
“Does he have my keyboards? If he sold them to pay off one of his deals, I’ll kill him.”
“Sure I have them. Randy lives here too. He almost sold them, but I’m sentimental. I wouldn’t let him. Are you in a band?”
“No, I’m in nursing school and playing lounge lizard at a restaurant and teaching piano. I have to find a band. I can’t stand being a lounge lizard any more. It’s driving me crazy, but I have to eat. And if I hear “Jingle Bells” or badly played scales again, I’ll scream. Sam, I want a couple of speakers too. We all bought that stuff together.”
“I don’t know, Lilly. I mean you disappear for six months, then I want, I want.”
“Hey Sam, You were there once. I’ve been lost.”
“I’ll talk to Randy about the speakers, but you can come get the keyboards anytime.”
“That’s a problem Sam. I don’t have a car, or enough money to take a bus.”
“You always had money.”
“Sam, I don’t have a pot to piss in now. I’m living on what I make teaching piano and paying for the divorce on the easy installment plan of seventy-five dollars a week for fifteen weeks, all the money I make at the lounge.”
Sam said, “Lil, I’ll have to get back to you.”
She gave him her phone number and hung up. She looked at the phone, then the paper, and laughed. She was throwing down her mourning.
That night, Lilly and Eileen went dancing. Lilly went to talk to the lead guitarist during a break, but he was ogling her body, not listening to her. The groupies who had followed the guys in Cuando had always been a source of amusement. She didn’t find it amusing to be treated like a groupie.
Lilly and Eileen got home at two. Issy and her boyfriend, Joe, were lying on the sofa, watching TV. The roommates called him Josephine, the sixth roommate. Lilly liked him because his presence annoyed Carly, who was a little prissy. If anyone other than her sister had an live-in boyfriend, Carly would have made a big stink.
Eileen and Lilly sat down with the lovebirds. Lilly noticed a little bit of hash and a pipe on the table. She said, “Dizzy Issy, we’re going to be friends.”
Joe said, “Let’s smoke a peace pipe on that.”
“Lordy, this man is stoned,” Eileen said.
“Right Chief,” Joe said.
“Are you part Indian or something?” Eileen asked.
“I’m half Indian. He’s only something,” Issy said, sitting up.
Issy, Eileen, and Lilly smoked while Joe snored. Issy stashed the pipe when Carly arrived home. She joined them in the living room, and they talked about men. Lilly spoke in generalities and was grateful Eileen never brought Tony into the conversation. Lilly knew she couldn’t handle sympathetic ears and analytical questions.
The conversation turned to Christmas shopping. Issy and Carly talked about buying presents for their brothers, John and Matt.
Lilly asked, “How did you get brothers John and Matt?”
Issy giggled. “Well, you see, my parents are pretty close, and every now and again …”
“Issy,” Carly said reproachfully
“What I meant was you two have such different names.”
“That’s easy. My father was in the Army. My mother went with him. When I was born, they lived in a box apartment on Isabel Street. When Carlotta was born, they left me with a Mexican woman named Carlotta. I know Isabel is a weird name. I always used to get it around Columbus Day in grammar school.”
“Isabel isn’t a weird name. I knew someone named Isabel that I grew very fond of … it took many years, but we grew to appreciate each other,” Lilly said sincerely.
“Isabel?” Eileen asked. “Who’s Isabel?”
“My ex-mother-in-law,” Lilly said and then turned to the TV for distraction. “Look a movie’s coming on.”
Key Largo’s credits started rolling. Lilly suddenly felt she was going to cry for all she had thrown away. She stood up and left the room, calling “Good night” from the stairs.
She heard Issy say to Eileen, “She’s sensitive about her marriage, huh?”
“I guess,” Eileen answered, looking at the movie and remembering Tony’s Bogie impressions.
**************
Lilly’s first band in Jamestown was Flare. They called themselves “mellow rock.” Lilly called them “lobotomy rock” and started looking for another band after only a month. The bass player was very interested in Lilly. His flirting and cajoling bothered her immensely. She thought he was good-looking and a nice guy, but easily ignored his come-ons. Her own lack of horniness was frightening to her.
When the opportunity to join another band, Zenith, arose, she jumped on it. Their brasher brand of rock and roll appeased her spirit, but the nagging doubts about her femininity remained. She had been with Zenith for a few months when they had a gig in Eire, Pennsylvania. They were paid a set fee and a percentage of the door. They played dollar poker and drank shots while waiting for their pay. Lilly had a bill with six sixes so she mostly sat and laughed while the others tried to bluff and bullshit. Lilly only drank rarely, and was soon falling off the chair laughing.
The bar owner came with their money and the band rose to leave. The drummer, Gary, offered her a ride back to Jamestown on his motorcycle. Lilly accepted. The cold air of early April woke her up. Back in Jamestown, Gary stopped at his house for hot, spiced cider. They laughed, and drank, and went to bed.
Afterward, Lilly left Gary and walked home full of self-recrimination. She didn’t feel any more assured about her femininity, and now she had to worry about Gary misinterpreting their tryst. Gary was often gruff and a little grizzly in the bars they played. He had a mean streak.
Lilly had entered the house to find Carly sitting on the stairs. Lilly approached her when a freaky looking girl danced out of the kitchen, stopped beside Lilly and patted her head, and danced on to the living room. Lilly met Carly’s eyes and pointed to the buzzed-out hippie.
“What’s going on?”
Carly said, “That’s Denise. She is visiting me. We grew up together. She and Issy did something. Now they’re both cuckoo.”
Lilly sat on the stairs beside Carly and watched Denise dance around, putting on a show for them.
Finally, Lilly asked, “Carly, did you ever see Hamlet?”
“I read it in high school. Why?”
“I saw a production at Brighton University. Ophelia was a real dip, overacted by a mile.” Lilly stuck her chin out indicating Denise.
Carly smiled, “Denise was the president of the Student Senate in high school. She was so good. We were best friends.”
Lilly gazed at Carly, understanding. Denise was acting more frenzied because she had to compete for Carly�
�s attention. Lilly could see Denise was frightening Carly, and she knew Denise must be close to the edge. Lilly went down the stairs.
“Come on Ophelia. This isn’t 1968. Freaking out is passé,” she said, catching Denise firmly by the arm and leading her to the kitchen. “Carly, you can go to bed. I’ll baby-sit Dizzy and Dippy.”
“I can’t sleep in this madhouse,” Carly said, following them to the kitchen.
“We’ll play games for the drunk or stoned. Have you played spit or spoons?”
The next day, Gary came over.
Jane woke her. “The guy who plays drums with your band is downstairs.”
Lilly sat up with a groan. “Thanks, Jane.”
Lilly dressed slowly, feeling grungy. She took her time, trying to decide what to say to Gary. She stopped on the stairs to hear Lonnie talking to Gary in the living room. Lonnie seemed to have cranked cuteness and charm up to infinity.
“Hi Gary, Lonnie. Would you like coffee? Lord! It’s gorgeous out. I do believe spring has sprung.”
Gary jumped up to follow her into the kitchen. Lonnie came too. Lilly almost burst out laughing, forming a plan in her mind for how Lonnie would steal Gary away.
“Gary, I didn’t expect to see you today. I liked the motorcycle ride. I might buy one, a small one. I’d hate to have a big one fall on me.”
“I’ll show you how to ride.” Gary sounded too anxious to please to suit Lilly. She sat sipping coffee, trying to draw Gary and Lonnie both out in a complementary way.
Finally, she said, “Gary, Lonnie, I’m really tired, See you tonight, Gary.”
“Should I pick you up? Around nine?”
“No, that’s OK. I already have a ride.”
Lilly chuckled as she went upstairs. She listened for a few minute, and then Gary left. Lilly looked from the window, hoping to see Lonnie behind Gary, but he was alone. Lilly thought if she had acted more interested in Gary, Lonnie would have been more attracted to the idea of stealing him.
A Yonkers Kinda Girl Page 27
