Nick stood. “Joe, Frank, Rafiel, let’s go watch the game downstairs at my place.”
Rafiel followed them out, not taking her eyes off Tony and Tito. Isabel sat down and then stood up again. A long silence followed.
Tony spoke first. “Pa … this is backward. You always liked Lilly. I thought you’d like it. Ma, you got along like a cat and dog, and you’re glad.”
Isabel said, “Sometimes a cat and a dog like each other.”
“She walked out on you once. Up and left. Then she comes back, planning to leave you again. What sort of man are you? She’s going to lead you around by the nose. She had a boyfriend. Don’t you know? She made time with him.”
“What are you talking about? She never …”
Tito interrupted, “In Jamestown. That’s where she went to school. She had a boyfriend.”
“We were divorced by then. I know about that. I’ve had plenty of women in my bed.”
Isabel turned away. Tony paced the length of the room and came back.
“Pops, you have nothing to say about it. Get used to it.”
Tito said, “This time …. this time when she leaves you, I’m not going to care how you are.”
“Pops,” Tony said impotently. They all sat quietly.
Tanta muttered and reached in the air.
“Oh, Mama.” Isabel went to her. “Tito, she’s a mess again …” She turned to Tony, “Lilly’s a nurse. She could look at Mama. She’d know what to say to the doctor.”
“Sure Ma,” Tony answered. “Lil would love to help Tanta.”
Isabel pleaded, “Tito, please, for Tanta.”
Tito stood defeated. “Bring her for Tanta.”
Isabel said, “I bring her to the doctors on Tuesday morning.”
“Lil’s at her friend’s up the street. I could get her,” Tony said.
Tito threw up his hands. “I’m going to Nicky’s. Call me after she leaves.”
Tony arrived at the LaRoches’ and realized he was interrupting a serious conversation.
Lilly said lightly, “Everett and Eileen have a house. It was his grandmother’s. Right on Bronxville Avenue. Three bedrooms.”
Tony answered, “Great,” but his tone was half-hearted.
Lilly looked in his eyes. She said to Eileen, “We have to go. I’ll call you, OK?”
Lilly followed Tony out of the apartment building and then stopped. “OK, what’s up?”
“My mother wants to see you.”
“Your mother? Are you sure it’s not to give me some arsenic spaghetti?”
“Lil,” Tony said curtly. “My mother wants to see you.”
“Your father?”
“He’s not happy about you. He won’t be there.”
Lilly could see the anger in his face so she followed wordlessly. They walked about half a block.
“Tony, what happened?” Lilly asked softly.
“It was all wrong. I thought it would be Ma and Pops and me. Frank is usually there on Sundays, but he knew I was going to talk to them. And the della Robbia telegraph must have been humming, because they were all there. Nick, Joe, Rafiel, Frank. It was like a fucking Tuesday, all lined up at the TV. Frank has such a fucking mouth. I have no idea what Frank told them, but they kept asking about my girlfriend. I wanted to leave, but Frank told them about the museum yesterday so I knew they would wheedle it out of him. Then Pops jumps up and says, ‘Lilly, Lilly.’ I didn‘t know how he knew.”
“Oh, here,” he said, handing her the letter.
Lilly looked at Tony confused and then she glanced at the letter.
“What?!” she gasped as she recognized the envelope. She opened it and skimmed it. “How did they? This is to Issy…my old roommate … Where did they get it? … I wrote that … I mailed that in Trat, Thailand.”
“They knew you were there,” Tony said with disbelief in his voice.
“Did they know about you and me?”
“No, not until Frank said something about Cambodia.”
“How did they get this?”
“Your old roommate Carly was a nurse to my father. She gave it to my mother.”
“Carly? She’s in Yonkers? Issy is her sister. Issy must have given the letter to Carly to give to your parents. She … she didn’t even write me back. Eileen is the only person who wrote me.”
“Nick knew about you and me. I don’t know how yet. Yonkers is such a fucking small town.”
Lilly smiled.
Tony asked, “Why are you smiling?”
“You sound so Yonkers. I didn’t notice it before. In New York, you sound like an ultrasophisticated college graduate, but here, under duress, your Yonkerese flows fluently.”
Tony smiled at her. “I promised Ma you’d look at Tanta.”
“What?”
“It was the only way Pops would let you in the house. The sooner they see you, the sooner they will accept you.”
Lilly said with trepidation, “He feels that strongly against me? He used to like me. He was so kind. He even gave me his mother’s cross.”
“Pops …was hurt. I think he relived his embarrassment and anger at my real mother when you left.”
“So to him I’m like her?”
“He’ll get over it.”
“Maybe. But what about your mother?”
“She likes you.”
“She really does? I used to think about her sometimes. When I first went to Jamestown, I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to cry on her shoulder. Imagine how hard it would be to step in and raise someone else’s children, hold a family together because of duty.”
“Ma really loves Frank. He was her baby. It was strange. When we were in high school, Ma and Pops fell in love. It was weird. I couldn’t say anything to anyone. What could I say? I think my parents are falling in love?”
Lilly smiled at him. “That’s nice. Now you’re not even angry anymore.”
Tony nodded in agreement. “Come on and see Tanta.”
“Does Tanta still live in the apartment over Joe and Nunzio?”
“No, Nunzio died. He had a heart attack three years ago. Joe got married to Rafiel Langella. I’m sure you met her. She’s from Tuckahoe. She’s a distant cousin of my mother’s. She’s thirty-five, but she’s older.”
“More a contemporary of your mother’s?”
Tony nodded. “Tanta is senile. She keeps getting worse. My mother doesn’t know how to talk to doctors. They’re all Marcus Welby to her. Tanta lives in Frank’s old room. Mine too, I guess.”
They entered the building.
Tony said, “Joe and Rafiel have an apartment here now. I’ll bet if we listen carefully, we’ll hear the door close after they sneak a peek at you.”
“Great. When are Frank and Debbie moving in?”
“I don’t know about them, but my cousin, Suzie, Nick’s youngest, is getting married, and they put their name on the waiting list.”
Isabel answered the door. “Hello, Lilly. Come in. How are you?”
“Hello … ” Lilly faltered, unsure what to call her.
“Isabel,” Tony supplied gently. The two women stood eye-to-eye, then hugged.
“I used to worry about you. I’d watch anything they’d say about Cambodia on TV,” Isabel said
“I’m sorry I never said goodbye. It was so …awful.”
Tony put his hand on Lilly’s shoulder as though agreeing with her. Then he walked over to Tanta while Isabel and Lilly hugged again.”
“Tanta, it’s me, Tony.”
She grunted in uncertainty. Lilly followed him and sat beside her, taking her hand.
Lilly said, “Hi Tanta. How’s the arthritis?”
“Not so bad.”
“Tanta, remember when you taught me how to make sauce? And we got the stains on your kitchen ceiling?” Lilly chuckled.
Tanta nodded, agreeing with the tone but not understanding the content.
“Tanta, what year is it?”
“Nineteen-fifty. Anno died.”
“I’m sorry, Tanta.
Who is he?” Lilly pointed to Tony.
“Tito?” Tanta asked with some awareness of her confusion.
Lilly reached down to her ankles. “Are they always puffy like this?”
“Yes,” Isabel answered.
“Is it worse in the evening?”
“I don’t know,” Isabel said.
“Is it easier to put her shoes on in the morning than to take them off in the evening?”
“Yes. I always thought that was funny,” Isabel answered.
“What medications is she on now?”
“I don’t know the names. I’ll get them,” Isabel answered.
“Tanta, how’s life with all the crazy Italians?” Lilly whispered loudly.
Tanta laughed.
Isabel returned with the pill bottles. Lilly took them. “Lanoxin. That’s digitalis. How often does she take that?”
“Every morning.”
“Do you ever take her pulse?”
“No, why?”
Lilly drew Tony’s hand with his watch to her and took Tanta’s pulse. “This medicine slows the heart, making it work more efficiently. It shouldn’t be given if her pulse is under sixty. Her pulse is forty-six. How has she been eating?”
“She doesn’t eat,” Isabel said.
“Does she complain of sour stomach?”
“She says things don’t taste right. She said her own spit was bad.”
Lilly took the next bottle. “Lasix. How often does she take this?”
“I give her two in the morning.”
“That’s not how it is prescribed. Twice a day, like at eight and four.”
Isabel said defensively, “If I give it like that, she wets her bed all night. What’s the difference, two pills a day?”
“It’s mainly to keep her blood level even. The medicine makes you get rid of a lot of potassium, an electrolyte that can give people leg cramps and even affect their heartbeats. Did the doctor tell you to give it to her with orange juice and to have her eat a banana a day to replace the potassium.”
“No, I didn’t know,” Isabel said guiltily.
“It’s the doctor’s responsibility to help you understand her treatment.” Lilly took the last bottle. “Valium? Why is she on valium?”
“I don’t know. It makes her so dopey, like now. I’ve got to get her ready for bed.”
“Let me help you. You can see more when you’re helping people,” Lilly said, helping Tanta stand.
Isabel said, “How did you do that? You hardly bent at all.”
Lilly said, “It’s called body mechanics. It’s how nurses can lift people who weigh more than they do. I’ll have to teach you, Isabel. This shouldn’t be only on your shoulders.”
They walked Tanta to the bathroom. Tanta was already wet.
Lilly asked, “Her urine smells strong and foul. Does she drink enough?”
“No, everything tastes so bad to her.”
Lilly went back to Tony. “Your mother said your father’s at Nicks. Why don’t you go to him. You have to make the first step. He can’t.”
Tony stared off.
Lilly begged him, “Tony, if you let it grow, it will. Please Tony.”
Tony looked at her, “Lilly, I don’t know what to say to him.”
Tony looked down the hall to see his mother watching from the bathroom door. He turned and left. Lilly and Isabel smiled at each other and went back to Tanta.
Tony met Frank in the hall outside Nick’s apartment.
“Tony, how’s it going?”
“Pops in there?” Tony asked coldly.
“Don’t be mad. How’d I know they knew about Cambodia?”
“How did Nick know?”
“He saw you two leaving one of the garden apartments up the street two weeks ago. But you know Nick. He stores information. He doesn’t tell anybody anything.”
“You, on the other hand are a radio announcer. You give frequent updates.”
Frank turned away.
“Frank, you really pissed me off today.”
“Yeah,” Frank said sheepishly.
Tony turned to Nick’s door and opened it slowly. Tony could hear Nick speaking in a reasonable voice.
“Tito, it’s his life. Lilly’s not Carmela. You talk like she’s … She put him through Brighton. You remember, you told me, that with Frank in Westchester, you couldn’t have helped him when they cut his scholarship and raised tuition. He had to come up with fifteen hundred dollars. She worked two jobs, night and day.”
“He worked too,” Tito said defensively.
Tony walked in. “Pops?”
Tito turned away from him.
“Pops, let’s take a ride. We’ll go over to Frotelli’s in Tuckahoe and get Ma a cannoli.”
Tito said, “Where is she?”
“Lil’s helping Ma with Tanta. I think she knows what’s wrong. She’s asking all the right questions.”
“Tanta’s old, and old people get mixed up.” Tito was unimpressed.
“Let’s go. I’ll see you Joe, Rafiel, Detective della Robbia,” Tony said.
They drove to Tuckahoe without saying a word. They bought cannoli and pazillis and returned to the car, but Tony didn’t start the engine.
Tito asked, “Are you going to marry her again?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought of it. It’s too soon. I don’t even know if she’s coming with me. Pops, that’s not what matters. We were a part of each other for a long time. I hated the way we left it. Now, even if she goes to Saint Croix, it will work out because, it’s like she said last week, we’ve made peace with each other.”
“Do you love her?”
Tony was quiet for a minute. “She is the only woman I ever loved. At first, I thought I could hold her at arm’s length, but she’s my best friend. I can tell her anything. I love her. She makes me laugh all the time. I love her.” Tony looked across at his father. He started the car and drove.
Tito asked in a tired voice, “How about her?”
“It’s harder for her. She lost more when we split up. She was completely alone. She hasn’t said so, but I know she loves me. Sometimes I think I’m breaking her heart again. She’s built a wall around herself, but with me she lets her guard down.”
They arrived back at the building. Tony took the bakery box and they walked in.
He said, “The cannoli are going upstairs. Are you going back to Nick’s?”
“I’ll go upstairs,” Tito answered.
Isabel and Lilly were standing outside Tanta’s room, talking and hugging when the men arrived.
Isabel asked, “What do you think is wrong?”
“When does she go to the doctor?”
“Tuesday morning.”
“I think he’ll put her in the hospital.”
“Yeah?” Isabel was shocked.
“I think she has a few problems. First, I’m pretty sure she has a urinary tract infection. She seems dehydrated. She also probably has dig toxicity.”
“That’s from the lanoxin? Her heart’s too slow?”
“I also don’t think she should be on valium. It’s not good for people to live their lives doped up. Does her doctor take any time with her?”
“You know doctors – rush, rush, rush.” Isabel shook her head.
“Yeah, I know doctors,” Lilly said to make Isabel smile.
Tony chuckled. Isabel and Lilly looked up to see the men, and both jerked, a little startled.
“Hello,” Lilly said shyly.
Tito addressed Isabel. “We brought you cannoli.”
Lilly said to Tony, “We have to go now. I have to work early.”
Tony gave her a quizzical look and said good night to his parents. Lilly echoed his good night, still speaking shyly.
Tony led her to the elevator. “I’ve always known you had icicles for feet, but this is the first time you ever had cold feet.”
“Tony, I got so scared. Let’s go home. I have a headache. I’m going to take an aspirin.”
Lilly wen
t to bed and was drifting to sleep when Tony quietly joined her. She felt how carefully he got into the waterbed to minimize jostling her. She turned to him and started kissing him.
“I thought you had a headache,” Tony said responding.
“There’s only one way to take your mind off a headache,” Lilly murmured, kissing his nipples.
Tony lay back, allowing her to have her way with him.
Afterward he said, “You do that so well.”
“I had a good teacher. He taught me all about loving.”
They lay staring into the darkness. “Come with me, Lillibelle.”
Lilly hugged his arm. “I want to. I can’t promise until I know if I can carry a pack.”
“Your pack will be light. I’ll carry the dense weight. I’m bringing a couple of volumes of poetry. I’ll replace them periodically. Frank is sending me boxes along the way. I’ll leave them in lean-tos as I’m finished with them. If you can carry a pack, will you come?”
“I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what?” Tony asked. “You don’t want to risk it all emotionally? I’m risking it.”
“You were always bolder than I, and smarter, and better educated. You’re going to get bored with me.”
“Lilly that’s ridiculous! You have more pizazz in your little finger than most people could work up in a lifetime.”
“Pizazz might wear thin when I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wouldn’t want to be dumped in North Carolina,” Lilly said, trying to lighten the mood. She knew she had erred immediately as she felt his body stiffen.
“I didn’t dump you, Lil,” Tony said in a low voice.
“Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean … you would.” She turned to face him. The expression on his face hit her like a slap. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would hurt you so. I thought you wouldn’t care, that you didn’t love me anymore.”
“How can you say that? You were my wife.”
They lay separated by an ominous stiffness. He persisted, “Lil?”
“Tony you were in love with someone else. It almost killed me.”
“I wasn’t in love with anyone.”
“There was someone else. Someone at Brighton. You saw her Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”
“I wasn’t in love with her. I never saw her out of class except when her car broke down until after you left. Then I only went to bed with her to get even with you for leaving. The reason I was attracted to her was she reminded me of you.”
A Yonkers Kinda Girl Page 37
