She sighed softly, her impatience getting the better of her. There were a million questions that she wanted to ask, the foremost of which was about his brother, but right now all she really wanted was Devon. She knew there were things he wanted to keep her sheltered from, things he never wanted her to know, and she understood that. But unfortunately, some of those things had walked into their lives again today, and thrown them even more upside down. However, for now, the time for questions could wait.
He finished fluffing the blankets/pillows. She could tell he was looking for something else to do, some other way to stall, but unless he planned on fluffing the down right out of the blankets there was nothing left for him to do. His shoulders were stiff as he turned toward her, his body braced for the onslaught he suspected was coming. His beautiful emerald eyes were wary as they hesitatingly met hers.
Cassie sighed softly. “Are you ok now?” she inquired. His dark eyebrows drew tightly together. “Can you stay around me?”
Guilt and anguish surrounded him as his gaze darted away. “Cassie…”
“It’s ok Devon, I understand more than you think I do, but I need to know.”
“And why is that?”
Cassie braced herself for rejection as she readied to hand herself over to him completely. “Because I want to spend the night with you, and I mean really spend the night with you.”
She fought back the red wash of embarrassment that crept up her cheeks, heating her skin. She didn’t want to seem childish and insecure right now, she wanted to sound confident and determined, but she couldn’t stop the flush in her face. Unfortunately her body did not want to react the way that her mind wanted it to.
His gaze snapped back to her, wide with surprise and wonder. She could feel the desire, the need that washed over him, but she could also feel his hesitance, his reluctance. “Cassie there is nothing more that I would want, but not here, not now…”
“Then when?” she interrupted softly.
“When this is over…”
“We may not survive this.”
He recoiled from her words, his eyes narrowed fiercely. “I will not allow anything to happen to you.”
Cassie sighed softly as she squeezed her hands tight in her lap. “I know that you will try Devon, but there are some things you can’t control. There are some things that you cannot stop. No one knows what will happen to me when this change occurs; no one truly knows what the outcome of this battle will be. All we know is that we have this moment right now. We have this, and I want to know, no I need to know what it is like to be with you. I need this night.”
Devon shook his head, but she could feel his wavering, his desire to crumble to her wishes. He glanced around the dusty, cobweb filled attic. Shaking his head he turned back to her. “You deserve better than this, you deserve so much more than this.” His arm swept around the room.
“It’s better than the backseat of a car,” she replied, trying to sound light but knowing that she failed miserably when his eyes narrowed upon her. Cassie sighed softly as she rose to her feet, her hands hurt from clenching them so tightly together. “It doesn’t matter where Devon, as long as it is with you.”
His eyes flared hotly, burning into her with an intensity that left her shaken. “This may be our only night,” she continued, pushing at his weakening defenses. “I don’t want to pass it up because you feel that this is not good enough.”
“I may hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
For a moment red fire filled his eyes. Though it startled her, she did not move, did not react. If she did she knew he would shut her down completely. “How can you possibly know that?” he demanded. “After yesterday, after what I wanted to do to you, what I still want to do to you, how could you possibly know that I won’t hurt you?”
Cassie swallowed heavily. “Because you love me,” she whispered. “You left so that you wouldn’t hurt me; you cared nothing for your own safety when you left, only mine.”
“I left you unprotected,” he snarled.
“You left me in a building full of fighters, strong ones too. I hardly feel that is unprotected. You were the one who was out there alone, exposed and vulnerable. You are too hard on yourself Devon. You are a good man.”
“You have no idea what kind of a man I am, or was. No idea what goes through my mind when it comes to you.”
Though she knew he was trying to push her away, she did not back down. “I know you Devon. I may not know everything about your past, but I don’t need to know it all. There are things I may never know about you, and I accept that because I love you! I know who you are. I know what you want and need from me far more than you think I do, because I want the same things from you.”
He stared at her for a long moment, his eyes hooded like a snakes. Beneath his lowered lids they shone as bright as rubies in the dim light of the room. And then he was on top of her, moving so fast that she only caught a whisper of movement before he seized her. His hand wrapped around her neck as he pulled her head to the side. Cassie gasped in surprise, her heart leapt wildly as his finger trailed lightly over her frantic pulse.
She could sense the wildness in him, the instability, but she didn’t move. She knew if she did that he would withdraw from her. He would leave her within this room, alone and lost if she reacted in any way. She didn’t care what he did to her, or what he needed from her now, because she would give him anything he wanted. No matter what it was. She had wanted to wait to make the change, knew that to do so would be for the best, but if he lost control and it happened now then she would not regret it, and she would not fight it.
“Right here,” his voice was soft, hoarse and grating as his finger stilled upon her vein. She could feel his struggle for restraint battling against his ever present, driving hunger. She remained frozen, her eyes half closed as she fought against the fear and excitement tearing through her. She knew that he was unstable right now, but she also knew that he would not hurt her, no matter what he feared. His touch was thrilling, enchanting. Her heart danced, her body quaked with the urge to touch him, but if she moved now he would withdraw from her. “Right here is the pulse of your life, and I want it.”
Cassie’s eyes closed, she had to fight back the tremble that worked its way through her. It was not a tremble of fear, not anymore. Her heart did not leap in terror, but in anticipation of what was to come. His hand wrapped around the back of her neck, brushing her hair aside as he pulled her closer. He bent over her, his lips pressed to her throat, his fangs skimmed over her neck, pressing briefly against her throbbing artery. She couldn’t stop the soft gasp of pleasure that escaped her. She waited breathlessly for him to bite down, for him to take what he needed from her.
And then, to her surprise, he kissed her softly. His lips pressed gently against her vein, his fangs receded as he touched lightly upon her. Cassie’s head spun, her legs quivered as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her tight against him. “You foolish foolish girl,” he breathed in her ear.
Her trembling increased, tears burned her eyes as she melted against him, her arms wrapping around his waist. Maybe she was foolish, but she didn’t believe so. No matter what he thought she had absolute faith in him, absolute belief that he would never hurt her. That the man in him would always win out over the demon when it came to her.
His mouth moved slowly over her neck, placing gentle kisses along her skin that left her completely weak. Her legs gave out when his tongue swirled over her ear. He held her up as her heart leapt as wildly as a bird trapped in a cage. “Cassandra,” he whispered. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” she managed to get out through the constriction in her throat and chest.
He lifted her effortlessly, his hands skimming under the baggy flannel she wore. His touch upon her bare flesh was almost her undoing. She clung to him, shaking, unable to move as he carried her to the makeshift bed he had created. Laying her gently down, he followed her, his mouth sei
zing upon hers. Though Cassie had expected his kiss to be desperate, frantic, it was surprisingly gentle and achingly loving.
Her whole body reacted to it. Her fingers entwined in his hair, holding him close as he slowly pulled her shirt from her. Cassie’s mind swam with pleasure; she forgot everything and everyone else as her entire world became focused upon him, and the joy that he brought to her. The beautiful new sensations he arose in her, sensations that might have been frightening if they had been with anyone other than him. However, with him, there was no fear. There was only joy and a sense of wonder that she had never thought to experience.
All of her fears and doubts from the past, all of the things that had held her back from this moment completely faded away. She never thought of the women of his past, never wondered if he would compare her to them and find her lacking in the end. For she knew now, that he would never find her lacking, never want or desire anything more than her.
When they finally joined together, she knew true bliss. She knew what it was to belong and fit. She knew nothing of pain and misery and fear as she clung to him, riding out the storm of their love. She didn’t know she was crying from the complete bliss that he brought her until he kissed away her tears, whispering words of love as he touched her reverently over and over again.
And later, when she offered him her vein, and he fed from her, she knew that she had been right. He never thought about other women with her, and he could never find her lacking. For him, when he had met her, it was as if every other woman had ceased to exist. It was not that he did not think about them, it was that they had simply faded from his mind. They were a part of his past that he didn’t think about, and didn’t want to. He didn’t compare her to them because he could not recall them. For though she had lacked experience she had brought him more joy and pleasure than he had ever known, or ever thought to experience in his very long life.
Cassie drifted asleep, blissfully content within the strong embrace of his arms.
***
Devon padded silently down the stairs, trying to be as silent as possible so as not to waken anyone, especially not Cassie. After what they had just exchanged, he didn’t want her to awaken alone. Though he knew that she no longer felt vulnerable, he didn’t want her to wake up and find him gone, but there was something that he needed to take care of right now.
He moved swiftly through the empty front of the store. Everyone had retired to the back for what little remained of the night. Joey and Patrick had been placed in the back room, untied from their chairs, but retied to some of the wooden beams. The store was silent as the first rays of sunlight broke over the horizon.
He reached the open cellar door and moved swiftly down the stairs. Julian was standing by one of the windows. The sun was not bright enough for him to move away from the glass yet, but it would be soon. Devon knew that he had retreated here hours ago; before Cassie had offered Devon the greatest gift he had ever received. He was still thrilled and awed by the gift she had given him, by her openness and willingness to trust him, especially when he didn’t even trust himself. She had far more faith in him then he deserved, far more love and understanding than he had ever thought to receive, and he was humbled by it. There was nothing he would not do for her; there was nothing that he would not give her.
He hated to part from her for even this short bit of time, but he needed to speak with Julian, and now would be the only time that he would get Julian alone. Julian turned toward him, the faint light filtering through the windows lighting his ice eyes, warming them to an almost soft ocean hue. Julian’s face was blank but there was a flicker in his eyes as he scanned Devon quickly.
“Is she ok?” he demanded, his voice oddly hoarse.
Devon nodded, his hand tightening on the thin railing of the stairs. Though Devon had known that Julian would have knowledge of what had passed between them, he still did not like the fact. What had passed between them had been so wonderful and precious that he didn’t want to share it with anyone, but there was no keeping it from Julian. Not only would Julian smell it upon him and Cassie, but a simple touch would reveal all to him.
That was why Julian had retreated immediately down here when Devon had taken Cassie upstairs. “You knew what she intended.”
Julian nodded, his eyes flickered briefly again. “I saw it when I touched her, yes.”
“Why didn’t you warn me? Why didn’t you stop her?”
Julian tilted his head, his eyebrows drew questioningly together. “Why would I do that?”
Devon started in surprise, his hand tightened upon the rail. “Because you knew that there was a chance I could hurt her, knew there was a chance I could lose control.”
“Was there?”
“Julian,” Devon growled, not in the mood to deal with his friend’s cavalier attitude.
Julian sighed as he moved away from the window, the rays becoming too much for him to stand. “Yes, I admit that I worried for her safety, but she didn’t. The amount of faith and trust she puts into you is staggering, and I was not going to stand in the way of that.”
“You know what we have done to other human women,” Devon whispered, hating the words that came out. He did not want to think of those dark times, and atrocious acts while the glow of what had just happened still surrounded him, but he needed to hear what Julian had to say.
“I may not wish to remember, not anymore, but yes I know. However, this was something that she needed to do Devon. Something that she wanted so badly that I couldn’t bring myself to deny her it; could not stand in her way. And I believe that she is right. You both needed this night, she deserved this night. Her love for you, your love for each other…”
Julian broke off shaking his head as his gaze darted away. Devon could sense the emotion welling up within him, the hurt, and yet the joy and awe that suffused him. “It is staggering Devon. Believe me, if I thought there was any chance that you would hurt her, I would have warned you. I would have stopped it. But I knew that you wouldn’t. The demon inside us is strong, but no matter how close you get to snapping, it is always her that you put first. Her that you protect. I knew what she intended, and I also knew that if you could not handle it you would walk away. You may not have faith in yourself, but she does, and I do too.”
Devon remained silent, stunned by Julian’s confession, stunned by Julian’s absolute belief in him, which Devon now realized was just as much as Cassie’s. “Julian…” his voice trailed off as Julian turned toward the growing daylight. His shoulders were slumped slightly, a weary air surrounded him. “You really do love her, don’t you?”
Julian turned back to him. “Yes, I do.”
“Then how, why…?”
Julian shrugged as he ran a hand through his disordered hair. “You know when you first met Annabelle I understood your obsession for her, understood that you loved her because I had been there once before too. I got it, I really did. I even sort of understood the fact that you stopped feeding from humans because of her. I never understood how you could just hand her over to Liam like you did. I thought you were crazy, weak, a complete and utter fool.
“But I understand it now. You loved Annabelle enough to let her go. You loved her enough to realize that you didn’t love her enough. That you did not love her the same way that she loved Liam and that he loved her. I love Cassie enough to realize the same. I love her enough to know that what I feel for her is a pale comparison to what you feel for each other. I would die for her, but I would not die without her. I do want her happiness more than I want my own though. And you are her happiness.”
Devon was silent, staggered by Julian’s admission, rattled by the keen insight his friend had developed. “I see.”
“I guess I’m the crazy, weak, fool now.”
“No, you’re simply more of a man than a monster once again.”
Julian tilted his head, his eyes sparked with amusement. “Is that what this feeling is? Humanity?”
Devon laughed softly; he slid down to
sit on the stairs. “It’s a bitch,” he muttered.
“That it is,” Julian agreed. He moved over to sit upon one of the crates stacked within the basement. “We can’t trust them you know. I may not have seen any plan for betrayal in them, but we cannot trust them.”
“I know.”
“Especially not Robert.”
Devon’s hands clenched tight, anger spurted through him. Julian’s gaze was hard, his hatred toward Robert apparent in the tight set of his shoulders. “No matter what the others believe, or want, he will try to kill her.”
“Yes,” Julian agreed.
“I’ll kill him first.”
Julian was silent for a moment, his head tilted to the side, his eyes distant and thoughtful. “No Devon, if he goes for her, I will take him out. I owe him for the last time that we met, but this time I will be prepared for the battle, and not taken by surprise.”
“Julian…”
“You cannot kill your own brother Devon, you were never able to. Even back then you were unable to destroy him, though you knew that he would kill you in a heartbeat.”
“If he goes for her…”
“I will take care of him. I owe it to him.”
Devon thought over Julian’s words before nodding slowly. Julian was right, Robert did hate Devon, and Robert would kill him if given the opportunity, but Devon had never been able to kill his brother. Until now. But Julian, well Julian would take great pleasure in destroying Robert, in paying him back for the ambush he had executed on Julian all those years ago.
“Brother,” Devon said on a snort of disgust. Even when growing up they had never been anything even close to brotherly, but once Robert had been changed he had grown to hate Devon even more. Devon had never understood his brother’s hatred of him. Robert had always been the favored son, the one that had stood in the spotlight while Devon slunk through the shadows, hoping to go unnoticed at home. “He must be kept away from her.”
Inferno Page 23
