by K. C. Crowne
“Austin, we need something more than paper towels, I'm afraid.”
“Yeah, you're probably right. Have any more towels? A mop? Something?”
“I do,” she said. “Follow me.”
I followed her out of the kitchen, down the same hall we'd gone down a few nights before, and into her bedroom. I stood there, feeling sheepish, until she pointed me in the direction of her bathroom.
“Grab some towels from under the sink while I change,” she said.
I went into the bathroom, grabbed a handful of towels, and caught sight of her stripping down in her bedroom. She slipped out of the skirt, exposing her ass to me. Whether she'd intended to or not, I couldn't be sure. I grew stiff in my jeans, using the towels to cover it up as I waited for her to finish. I focused on the mirror instead of her, until I caught sight of her in it. She'd moved and was now very plainly in sight in the mirror, as she lifted the soaking wet shirt off over her head.
She was facing away from me, so I could only imagine the way her breasts looked as they fell free from the top. I didn't dare leave the bathroom. Sarah turned around and caught me staring, and she smiled.
“Like what you see?” she asked.
“I – you know I do,” I said. “But Sarah, we talked about this, remember?”
“Jesus Austin, lighten up. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to seduce you. You made yourself perfectly clear the other day.”
She bent over and picked up a t-shirt from the bed, her perfect breasts on display. My cock twitched in my jeans. I knew I wasn't going anywhere. At least not anywhere away from her. I walked into the bedroom, not even realizing that I'd dropped the towels. I reached out and pulled the t-shirt from her hands so she remained naked in front of me.
Her gaze moved down to my crotch, and as she stepped closer, her hand grazed my erection.
“You know I want you. That's not the reason we can't do this,” I said.
She rubbed my erection through my jeans. “Oh, I know,” she said. “But it's nice knowing you actually do want it, because I do too.”
“You know I want you, Sarah,” I said.
“Do I?”
She dropped to her knees before me, and I tried to talk myself out of what was about to happen.
“Looks like you got wet too,” she said.
Her hands reached for my belt, but I stopped her. She stared up at me with wounded eyes, but she removed her hands. I took hold of her hands and lifted her back up to standing.
I'd intended to tell her all the reasons it was a bad idea, but instead, I pulled her into me. I kissed her long and hard and put everything I felt for her into that kiss. I'd hoped she could feel what I felt for her, understand that this wasn't about not wanting her – but about wanting her too much. Once we went down that road, there was no turning back. I didn't just want to fuck her, I wanted to be with her in every sense of the word.
I wanted her to be mine.
I pulled back from the kiss, both of us out of breath, and she leaned in for another. Holding her face in my hands, I stopped her. Instead, I placed my forehead against hers and looked her in the eye.
“I'm your boss, Sarah. Your superior,” I said. “We can't be involved with one another, it would look bad. It could get us both into a lot of trouble.”
“Who says anyone would have to know?” she asked.
“You know I can't lie,” I said. “And I know you can't lie worth a shit either. Luke, Wes, they'd be able to tell in a heartbeat. And it wouldn't be fair to anyone. I already have Owen accusing me of favoritism, I can't give anyone a reason to believe it.”
“Wait, what?” she asked. “What happened with Owen?”
“It's not important, Sarah,” I said. “Just believe me when I say that although I want this, and I want you, we can't do this, okay?”
She sighed, and there were tears in her eyes, but she nodded. “Fine. I understand,” she said, speaking softly.
Tilting her face up so she was looking at me again, I stared deep into those eyes again. God, I could have gotten lost in the depths of her gaze. I'd have gladly drowned in them
“I need to go,” I said. “Before I make a bigger mess of things here than I already have.”
I meant that both in terms of the plumbing and with Sarah, herself, of course. Though, I'm pretty sure she already knew that.
“I'll call the landlord. I believe this is now considered urgent,” she said. “So, technically, you did me a favor.”
“If they can't get someone out here to fix it today, let me know. I'll pay for someone to come over and take care of it.”
It was only fair. After all, I hadn't fixed things, and had actually made them even worse. If the landlord wanted to charge someone to repair the damage, better I get stuck with the bill than Sarah. It was my fault there was a lake in her kitchen – all because I wanted to show off.
She shrugged. “I'm sure it'll be fine,” she said. “The pipes are old anyway, they need to be replaced.”
“Just let me know, okay?”
I hadn't realized I was doing it, but I'd been stroking her cheek gently. She'd leaned into the touch, and gazed up at me through thick, black lashes. It took everything in me not to kiss her again. I had to physically resist the urge and impulse to touch her more intimately.
She didn't say anything, but I knew I had to go. I needed to get out of there before I did something both of us might regret.
“I'll see myself out,” I said, picking up the towels I'd dropped along the way. “After I put these on the kitchen floor and clean up my mess.”
She smiled, a faint glimmer of hope lost in the sea of hurt. Walking away from her was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but I managed. Just barely though. I walked out of that bedroom, down the hall, and dried up the mess in the kitchen.
As I worked, I listened for her footsteps, hoping to hear her follow me. Maybe if she'd begged me to stay, I would have given in. God knew I wanted to. All I needed was an excuse. Instead, I heard the shower turn on and I let myself out.
5
Owen
“Owen, you ready for your first wildfire?” Sarah asked me as we unloaded the truck at the base camp in Escondido.
“Ready as I'll ever be, I guess,” I said.
Austin hadn't wanted me to tag along on the call. It was more than obvious by the way he acted toward me. He wasn't speaking to me, and would barely acknowledge my presence – though, that wasn't all that unusual. What was strange was the way he avoided speaking to anyone. For a change, it wasn't just me. Not that I expected anyone to be chipper, given the circumstances, but he seemed a little more distant and tenser than usual.
Truthfully though, Sarah was the only one who ever really talked to me. Overall, we got along fairly well. Both of us were fairly new to the field – though she had a year or so on me. We bickered, mostly because we were a lot alike. She would never admit it, but we were.
We came from two entirely different backgrounds, sure, but we were a lot alike personality-wise. That was why I was not surprised that she'd also disobeyed Austin's orders that day. Wes surprised me a bit, since he tended to do whatever the bossman said. Sarah, however, she had a mind of her own, and I appreciated that about her. Probably a hell of a lot more than she'd ever realize.
She hustled off toward the base camp, carrying her bags. Her tight ass in those jeans was a sight to behold, but I tried not to make it obvious I was staring. I was better than that. Wes might have gotten away with gawking and being obscene, but that was Wes. I was raised better than that. Didn't mean I couldn't admire her nice ass and firm body every chance I could get though – and I did. I just did it discreetly.
“There you are,” Luke said, pulling me away. “We need to go over a few things. Just make sure we're all on the same page.”
“Did Austin have you come talk to me, rather than talk to me himself?” I asked.
“Yes, and no,” Luke said. “It's fairly standard procedure. It's your first time out in the field, we want
to make sure you have the necessary tools to get the job done and survive.”
“We both know I am not going anywhere near that fire, Luke,” I scoffed. “Let's face it, Austin is going to keep me back at the base camp, doing some shitty ass job like filing or some stupid shit.”
Luke didn't really argue, since we both knew I was probably right. If I were being honest with myself – and I usually tried to be – deep down, I also knew I wasn't ready to go out there with the likes of them. They had experience. I didn't. I'd never battled a wildfire before, and to be thrown into the thick of it right away could be dangerous. Believe it or not, I was more reasonable than Austin credited me with being. Didn't mean I was happy to sit on the sidelines instead of being out there helping, but I'd come to expect it by now.
I walked past Luke and caught up with Sarah who was busy laughing about something with Wes. Sarah was nearly doubled over with laughter, her face bright red. It was an odd reaction to the serious situation we found ourselves in. They both stopped talking though the moment they saw me. Sarah straightened up, and both of them adopted a grimmer expression that seemed to fit with the situation.
“Don't have to stop having fun on my account,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“Sorry, inside joke,” Wes said, winking at Sarah. “You wouldn't understand.”
“Right,” I said. “I guess I'll leave you two to the jokes while I get some work done.”
Wes opened his mouth to say something but Sarah grabbed his arm, pulling his attention down to her. They shared a look, and I could tell that she was basically pleading with him not to go off on me. As if I needed her to protect me.
I carried my bag over to the group of tents that had been set up for us and tossed my stuff inside one of them. I stood there, contemplating the base camp, and trying to mellow out. The smell of smoke in the air was thick and heavy, but I couldn't see the flames from where we were just yet.
I was lost in thought when Wes' voice sounded behind me. It startled me for a moment since I hadn't heard him walk up, but I quickly composed myself and turned around to face him.
“Not the kind of accommodations you're used to, huh, golden boy?” he mocked. “I don't think they have vegan foods on the menu either.”
“Wes, stop being a dick,” Sarah said, but there was a hint of amusement in her voice that set me on edge.
I kept my thoughts to myself though. Just like I usually did. Wes was always a dick. Whether anyone else saw it or not, he was a complete asshole. That didn't matter though. Not to anybody not in his “inner circle,” I guess. He always treated me like shit though. He had from the first day I walked into the house to start working with them. I remembered that day well – he saw my car, and just couldn't stop himself from being a dick, asking, “Did daddy buy you that BMW?”
He teased me about my food choices, the car I drove, my childhood, and upbringing. But he knew nothing about me. None of them did. At first, I thought Sarah was trying to get to know me, but lately, she seemed so far up Austin's ass, that it was hard to trust her. It was hard to trust anyone, yet they were my team. We were supposed to work together. We were supposed to trust each other, given that we held each other's lives in our hands. Instead though, it felt like they were tearing me down because I didn't fit in to their preconceived notions of what a firefighter should be.
Yes, I grew up wealthy. Yes, I was supposed to inherit my father's business. None of that defined me though. Not that they cared. Had anyone actually taken the time to talk to me instead of treating me like an outsider, maybe they would have understood my motivations for getting into this life. Maybe, they would have learned what drove me.
However, just like Austin did, they all assumed they knew me, and judged me accordingly.
I crawled into my tent as Austin handed out our orders for the next morning. We were all to sleep, get rested up, and head out to one of the fire lines early the next morning. The sun was still beating down on us, as it was still early. I'd slept before we left though, wanting to be ready for anything.
I stared up at the top of the tent and knew there was no way in hell I'd be able to sleep now. Not because this wasn't a five-star hotel, as Wes might like to think, but because there was too much on my mind. I rolled over and pulled out my phone. I had several missed calls from my mom. I already knew what the voicemails were before clicking on them. My finger hovered over the delete button for a moment, indecision stealing through me, but finally, I pushed it.
I shut my phone off, hoping that would stop my brain from thinking about my family. I was in the middle of a wildfire, I had a job to do, and I needed to put my energy into that. I couldn't let familial politics mess up my focus.
I wasn't sure how much time had passed as I laid there, trying to shut my brain off. I'd brought a book to read and was doing my best to get lost in a fictitious world, when I heard her voice right outside my tent. Sarah was talking to someone, but I couldn't make out who until I heard her voice rise.
“Jacklyn, it'll be okay. You just need to get out of there,” she said. “No, don't wait. Leave, now. Before it's too late. Tell Milo and the guys that they need to get out of there. Pack up the horses and go. This is going to be really bad.”
I sat up. I knew she was on the phone with her sister, and I could plainly hear the true panic in her voice now. Hearing her like that, so freaked out and scared, cut me deeply. I opened up the tent flap and peeked out. She was pacing outside my tent, her phone in one hand, biting the nails on the other, as she continued begging her sister to just leave the area already.
“No, you don't need to deliver the foal before you leave,” she said. “Get the mare somewhere safe and help her give birth there.”
Hearing that piqued my interest even more. I crawled out of the tent, and Sarah caught sight of me as she was pacing. She mouthed an apology, but I waved her off.
“Everything okay?” I asked her.
She covered the mouth piece of the phone. “My sister works at a ranch nearby. They've been ordered to evacuate, but she's being stubborn. One of their horses is in the middle of delivering a foal and is having problems with the birth. She doesn't want to leave her and says they can't transport her. The owners of the ranch happen to be out of town visiting family right now, and she's alone.”
“Oh,” I said, pushing myself up to a standing position. “What's wrong exactly?”
“She doesn't know yet, and the all the vets have evacuated too. All she has are a few ranch hands,” she said, then turned back to the conversation on the phone. “No, Sarah, you don't need help. You need to leave. Don't worry about loading up all the horses – get the other guys to do that. I'm telling you that you need to go. This fire is moving fast and is eating everything in its way. Get yourself out of there, please. You can't do it alone, and Milo wouldn't expect you to either.”
“Does she need help?” I asked.
Sarah shot me a perplexed look but continued talking to her sister.
“I have experience with horses,” I added. “I grew up around them. I've helped birth a few, I know a thing or two. Maybe I can help.”
“We're not supposed to leave –” Sarah started to say, then cut herself off as Jacklyn continued on the other end of the line. She looked at me for a long time before saying, “Jacklyn, if you refuse to leave, I'm coming to you. I'm going to drag your ass out of there, kicking and screaming if I have to. You need to get out of the way of this monster.”
She hung up the phone and started walking away, but I caught up to her fairly quickly.
“I drove myself, I have my truck,” I said. “I can drive.”
“You shouldn't get involved with this, Owen,” she said. “You're already in enough trouble as it is.”
“Then what's a little more?” I said with a shrug. “Not like Austin is going to let me do anything anyway, might as well be useful somehow.”
She side-eyed me. I could tell she wanted to fight with me, to protest, but she also hadn't brought her own vehicle
. If there was one thing I knew about Sarah, it was that her family always came first. Her job was important, and she was a damn good firefighter, but I knew that her job would never get in the way of her loved ones. It was another thing I'd admired about her. I'd never had family that stuck to you like that, and it was nice to see a strong, familial bond.
“Fine,” she said. “But I'm not responsible if you get your ass fired.”
* * *
“Come on, Austin totally picks favorites,” I argued on the drive over to her sister's ranch.
The sky was filled with thick gray smoke, but so far, the fires were far enough from her ranch that the roads were still empty. There was an evacuation order for the area surrounding the ranch, but so far, her sister was safe. I knew Sarah was just being practical, though. Better safe than sorry where family is concerned. The fire could move fast, especially with the Santa Ana winds we were expecting that evening, and throughout the coming week. Things could go from bad to worse in the blink of an eye, leaving people with little time to escape if the winds shifted – and they always shifted.
Sarah had picked a fight the moment we got in my truck, however. Bringing up what happened at the warehouse days prior, for some odd reason. I gritted my teeth and tried to change the subject, but she was hellbent on arguing with me for reasons I couldn't quite fathom, so I relented. I pointed out how Austin let Wes and her get away with things that I'd never get away with in a million years. Things I'd never be able to do without incurring the wrath of Austin. I had to think it came down to more than just me being a newbie too. It felt – personal.
“He doesn't respect me,” I said, my jaw clenching as I spoke the words I knew to be true. “Which is fine. I know respect had to be earned, but he's never even given me a chance.”
“Bullshit,” Sarah scoffed, rolling her eyes. “He's given you plenty of chances to prove yourself, Owen.”
“Oh yeah? When?”
