by K. C. Crowne
Milo raised a glass to his lips and took a big swig, and my insides ached even more. Whiskey. He was drinking already. Not even here a day and he was already hitting the bottle again. I hated what all of this had done to him; what it was turning him into. Eli's proposal to sell the place wasn't helping matters any either.
“I'm sorry, Milo,” I said, my voice cracking and thick with emotion.
He turned his gaze toward me at last, and his golden eyes drank me in. The way he looked at me sometimes took my breath away. I knew I was imagining it, but sometimes, when he stared at me with that intense expression on his face, it felt like there was more affection there than he was willing to show openly. It was like he was doing his best to hold it all inside.
I knew he cared about me, he often joked that I was like the sister he'd never had. But he often said that when we were alone and standing close to one another. Almost as if he were trying to convince himself that I was off limits. My heart thundered in my chest beneath that gaze and I tried to shut down that line of thought, as I always did.
Stop kidding yourself, Jacklyn, I scolded myself. There's no way anything will ever happen between us.
My older sister, Sarah, adored Milo, and in her mind, the two of us should have been married by now. She loved all the Bucknell boys, though she was mostly familiar with Milo. She'd met Sawyer and Eli only briefly but had nothing but good things to say about them. She wanted me to settle down and to be happy. Which was funny considering she hadn’t settled down with just one man. Neither had my other sister, Mallory, for that matter. Yet they were pushing me to do just that.
I wasn't sure I was ready for all that though. My last foray into dating – which was technically my first – hadn't gone over very well. Like, not at all. Not that it actually got very far before it burst into flames – both literally and figuratively – so I was back at square one. Twenty-two years old and still a virgin. Only because I didn't really care to go out and meet people at bars like most women my age. Instead, I preferred working with the horses over partying. I preferred the company of the animals over most people. They never judged me. They seemed to understand me, and they always listened to me talk. But, there really wasn't much chance of meeting Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Not while I cloistered myself away at the ranch. Unless, of course, it happened to be one of the brothers. I bet Sawyer would be interested in a fling, but that wasn't my thing. I wanted something real.
I was so lost in my thoughts and self-pity, I hadn't heard Sawyer's footsteps coming down the stairs behind me. His voice caused me to jump in my chair.
“Hey Milo, wanna chat?” he asked.
I looked at Sawyer then at Milo then back at Sawyer.
Milo shrugged. “Sure, if you have something worth talking about, that is.”
“I'll take that as my cue to get lost,” I said, standing from the chair.
I hurried out of Milo's study and up the stairs to my room. Milo's voice rose high enough though, that I could hear him even at the top of the stairs.
“I said I'm not interested, Sawyer,” he yelled.
I flinched. Sawyer was really trying to get Milo over to Eli's side. I'd thought he would be more inclined to be on Milo's side, but I guess I was wrong to believe he would be. With his playing career cut short by injury, he probably needed the money from the land like Eli did. I hurried down the hallway until I got to my room. Once the door was closed behind me, I savored the silence. I fell down onto my bed, which was nicer than my last one. Softer with a thick, memory foam mattress that made it feel like I'd melted into a cloud. This place was my home. It might have a new coat of paint and some brand spanking new furniture, but it was still my home; the place I'd come to love over the last few years. All of my most cherished memories had taken place within these walls or on those fields outside. Not that I had any say in the matter, but I didn't want to leave it either.
I really hoped Milo would stick to his guns and not sell, but at the same time, I worried about him. The more his brothers tried to tear him down, the more work that needed to be done, the more he drank. I didn't want to watch him go down the same path his father had.
He might try to think of me like a little sister, but I loved him. I loved him in a way that went deeper than the house or the ranch. I wanted him to be happy. In my dream world, he'd be happy with me and we'd run the ranch together, but that was just the dream of a silly girl who was in love with her boss.
* * *
“I love you, Jacklyn. I've always loved you,” his voice reached deep inside me and took hold of my heart.
I gasped, unable to say the words. Unable to even draw a breath. Milo was confessing his love to me. It couldn't be real, I knew this had to be a dream, but if so, I didn't want to wake up from it.
Milo stared at me with his golden eyes, drinking me in. His smile curled the corners of his mouth upward, causing wrinkles at the creases. Though he was only thirty-five, a life spent in the sun had added some age to his skin. It only added to his charm for me. He wasn't like men my age. He'd been around the block and had a wealth of experience. He knew what he wanted from life.
“I want you,” he said.
I still couldn't speak, but I didn't have to. Milo's hand moved up my thigh, rubbing against my panties. He was naked, only covered up with a sheet, hiding the most intimate parts of him. I reached for the blanket, but he pulled my hand away.
“Not yet, sweet girl,” he said.
His fingers lightly rubbed against me and I felt myself growing wetter. I thrust myself against him and he pulled me on top. My panties and the sheet still separated us, but I rubbed myself against his erection, relishing the feel of his hard length pressing against me. My pussy ached for him. I ground myself against his thigh, a moan escaping my lips as shivers ran through my body. Yes, oh god, yes. It felt so good. It felt so real. Maybe this was happening, I thought. After all, I felt the pleasure rush through me. I rode his body harder and harder. I didn't care if it was real or not, it felt so good. Nothing had ever felt this good in my entire life, and he wasn't even inside of me yet. I stared down at his wavy hair and stubbly face, and he was so gorgeous. I rode him harder, pressing myself against him.
“Oh God...”
How can this be, I thought to myself. I pushed that thought away pretty quickly, however, as my body began trembling wildly.
I was going to come. I truly was going to come. My orgasm was imminent. I grew wetter as I rubbed my pussy against Milo's thigh, the pleasure rising higher and higher. A warmth exploded low in my body, and I cried out.
“Milo! Yes, Milo!” I screamed. “I'm coming.”
The intensity of the orgasm pulled me from sleep, gasping, my head spinning. I was still climaxing, my body grinding against a pillow between my legs. I was shaking and moaning, rubbing the pillow against my clit as I tried to get back to my dream, to picture Milo's face as I finished out my orgasm.
I humped the pillow until the waves of pleasure died down, and then collapsed back against the bed. I was awake now, fully aware that I hadn't been fucking Milo after all. Sadness washed over me as the reality hit me. I was still alone, in my bed, with only a pillow to bring me pleasure. Sure, I could buy some toys, but that wasn't the same. I craved a warm body next to me, curled against me. Inside of me.
The sun was streaming through the windows and I stared at it for a long time until a sound pulled me out of my post-orgasm daze. I sat up, grabbing the pillow and the sheet, covering myself up.
The object of my dreams was standing right there. How long had he been in the doorway, I wondered? My heart raced, and panic took hold. Had I called out his name? Or had it only been in my dreams? I couldn't tell. Oh God, he's not looking at me.
“I'm sorry, I knocked, and I thought –” Milo stared down at the floor.
His sheepish expression told me everything I needed to know. He'd seen me. How much he knew about my fantasies was still unclear, but he'd caught me masturbating at the very least. If that wasn't bad en
ough, he caught me getting off to thinking about him. God, I prayed he didn't know that last part.
“You know? I'm just going to come back later,” Milo said.
“Yeah, I think that's a good idea,” I said, my cheeks burning red as I looked everywhere but at Milo. “I'll be down in a bit.”
“Okay, yeah, see you in a bit,” he said. He turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway, still not looking at me. “I'm sorry, Jacklyn, I –”
“Just go, Milo,” I said. “Please. Let me get dressed.”
“Of course,” he said.
Milo shut the door behind him, leaving me alone once more. I rolled over and screamed into my pillow, feeling like I might just die of embarrassment. I silently wished that the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
How was I supposed to work with him today? How would I ever face him again, I wondered.
2
Milo
Boy was my face red and I felt like a complete jackass. I knocked before opening her door, not really thinking anything of it. It's something I'd done a million times. But I never in my life thought I'd walk in on something like that. It had been so fucking – hot. She was a woman, but sometimes I still pictured her as the sweet-faced teen girl who begged my dad to let her work here. That was so many years ago now, but she was often still that little girl in my head.
I wasn’t a blind man, though, and I had started to see her for who she’d grown up to be. I had tugged on my own cock more than once to thoughts of her, but afterward, I’d always felt like a dirty old man. I had tried so many times to get myself to think about her as a kid to get her out of my head. Not anymore though. I got a view of her naked body and knew it was gonna be seared in my brain for all of eternity, for better or worse.
Damn, she looked good.
I scolded myself as the thought crossed through my mind. I couldn't let myself think of her like that. That was Jacklyn, not some piece of ass I picked up at a bar.
In my mind's eye though, all I could see was her pale, freckled skin. The curve of her hips wrapped around the pillow. That cute ass peeking out from under the blankets. Just a hint of her bare assets. It was enough to get the mind racing, that was for sure
I continued arguing with myself mentally, trying to scrub the image of what I'd just seen from my mind while walking downstairs. Sawyer was standing at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me, a weird look on his face.
“What is it?” he asked.
“What is what?” I responded.
“That look on your face,” he said, chuckling.
“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” I said.
“Just curious what's going on with you, that's all.”
“Nothing is going on with me,” I said, reaching the bottom step.
“Then why is your face so red?”
“Probably got too much sun yesterday,” I said, shrugging.
I walked past him and headed for the door. Sawyer grabbed my arm, but I pulled it away. We'd fought the night before, and I didn't really feel like picking up where we'd left off. Especially not with the horses arriving back today. We only had one stable ready for them and couldn't bring them all back yet, but I wanted to get back to some sort of normalcy. For both myself and the animals.
“Where's Jack?” Sawyer asked. “She comin'?”
Inwardly I cringed, but I fought to control my facial expressions. “She'll probably be down in a bit.”
I opened the front door and saw Eli's BMW coming down the driveway and felt the knots in my stomach tighten again as the anger in me started to rise like some dark tide.
“Fucking hell. What's he doing back here?” I muttered.
Sawyer walked up behind me and stared out the door, not saying a word. I had a hunch he knew Eli was coming back today.
“He needs to go back to Hollywood,” I muttered.
“He's only trying to help, Milo.”
“Bullshit,” I growled. “He's looking for a quick payday since his acting career tanked. Just like dad said it would.”
“That's harsh, bro,” Sawyer said.
“It's true. He wants the movie star lifestyle and expects this ranch to give it to him. Like hell it will. He can work for it like the rest of us,” I grumbled.
“Milo, it's not –” Sawyer stopped and sighed. “You know what? Never mind. There's no point in talking to you when you're like this.”
“Like what?” I scoffed.
“Like dad.”
“You say that like it's a bad thing, but dad raised us well, Sawyer,” I said. “He was a good man.”
“He was also bitter and a drunk,” Sawyer said. “But somehow, you forget about all that. He's not the hero you make him out to be.”
Eli was already out of his car, walking up the porch, and he'd heard the last part of the conversation. He looked pleased as punch to have brainwashed Sawyer into believing the bullshit about our father too. I had to fight the urge to punch that smirk right off his pretty, Hollywood face.
“I see not much has changed around here,” Eli said dryly.
“Why should it? There's no reason for anything to change,” I said.
My two brothers shared a look and I saw some sort of silent communication pass between them. I hated when they did that because it made me feel like it was them against me. It hadn't always been that way. Sawyer and I had been closer growing up, mainly because of our shared interests. I supported him and helped him follow his dreams, and this was the fucking thanks I got?
I pushed my way past the two of them and Eli grabbed my arm. I shoved him back.
“Don't fucking touch me,” I said.
“Milo, please, let's talk,” he said, his voice more even then.
“I said all I wanted to say last night,” I said. “I've got horses arriving today, and I need to get things ready. So, unless you’re going to roll up your sleeves and help me, you can show yourselves out.”
“Milo, come on –” Sawyer said.
“I'm done with this bullshit,” I said, marching down the steps and out toward the lone stable.
One stable. That was all we had for now. More would be built, it would just take time. There was so much to be done, I didn't have time to stand around and argue with my brothers. Unlike the two of them, I worked for a living.
I expected the two of them follow me, but they didn't. Sometimes they did know what was good for them.
Sometimes.
* * *
“Milo?” Jacklyn's voice took me by surprise. “Is there anything I can do to help out here?”
It was hard turning around to face her after what I'd seen earlier that morning. Not much time had passed, and we both knew I'd caught her in the middle of – well – in the middle of pleasuring herself. Had it been anyone else, I'd have expected her to hide in her room all morning and avoid me for the rest of the day. But Jacklyn was different. She was a hard worker and she cared about the ranch and the horses almost as much as I did. Maybe she even cared about them every bit as much as I did.
She was one of the few people I knew I could count on, and I didn't want the awkwardness to ruin things between us. Better to nip it in the bud, I thought to myself.
I turned around, running a hand over my sweaty forehead and looked her square in the eye.
“Not yet. The horses should be arriving soon, but for now we should talk,” I said.
Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red, and her eyes fell to the floor of the stable. Her arms were crossed in front of her, almost protectively. She was a tiny little thing, but she never shied away from hard work. With her long, reddish blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and wearing a pair of work overalls, she was ready to get to it. She hardly ever dressed up or wore makeup, but even in her work clothes and barefaced, she was a beautiful woman.
She blurted out, “If it's about this morning–”
I held up a hand to silence her. “It's okay, Jacklyn. I should have knocked louder or waited for an answer. You have a right t
o privacy.”
“I'll lock the door next time,” she said softly.
“No, I won't barge in without you answering,” I said. “What happened this morning was my fault and I'm sorry.”
I ran a hand along my growing beard. If I didn't shave soon, I'd not only be acting like him, but I'd be looking like my old man too.
“Sounds good, Milo. Can we please just stop talking about this?” she said, her cheeks still bright pink. “Please?”
“Yeah, let's do that,” I said.
She bit her lip and nodded, and internally I was feeling as uncomfortable as she looked. What I'd seen that morning was hot – very hot – and I didn't like the way my body had responded to it. Yes, I was a warm-blooded man, but Jacklyn was a valuable employee. She worked for me; she wasn't here for my pleasure.
Despite my best efforts to purge the memory, my mind went back to the moment anyway. I pictured the way her thighs hugged the pillow, her soft moans of pleasure, the way she squirmed and moved. I recalled it all. The blood rushed to my groin again, and I knew I had to do something to get my mind off of that – quickly. I turned away from her, hiding my growing erection from view.
I said, “Can you get the two stalls at the end ready for Silver and Casper?”
“Of course,” she said, hurrying away eagerly.
She was just as uncomfortable as I was. Poor girl. It was stupid of me to barge in on her like I did, but I never imagined I was going to see what I had. Hopefully though, we could put it behind us. My gaze fell on her perfect ass as she as scurried away. My erection strained against my jeans as I watched the way her hips swished in those overalls that hugged her curves. It was very obvious that she wasn't a child anymore, and my cock had taken notice of that fact. I couldn't afford to let myself think of her like that. She might be a legal adult, but I was thirteen years older than her. Supposed to be wiser. I knew better than to get involved with her. As far as I knew, besides the lodger-turned-arsonist, she'd never even dated a man before. Even with him, I knew they didn't get very far. Thankfully. I hadn't liked him much but hadn’t been able to say why at the time.
