by K. C. Crowne
“Are you okay?” he whispered, kissing along my neck.
“Yes,” I whispered back. “More than okay. It feels amazing.”
“Good,” he said.
Slowly, he started moving in and out of me, rocking gently against me. Each time he buried himself inside of me, it felt like electrical shocks were rocking my body, causing me to cry out. I raked my nails down his back, drawing a sharp hiss form him, and I held on for dear life as he made love to me. Sawyer had always seemed like the type who would fuck wildly, but at least for that night – for my first time ever – he was slow, gentle, and took his time with me. He seemed to savor my body, kissing and touching every inch of my flesh as he moved above me.
As good as it felt, I wanted more of him. My body – my soul – ached for more.
As if he read my mind again, he picked up the rhythm. His breathing grew heavier, and he groaned deeply as he thrust himself into me. Lifting himself up on his arms, I saw the look on his face – it was a look of bliss and pleasure unexpected and unknown. It was the look of a man willingly giving himself over to the heat of the moment. He looked animalistic and wild, sweat dripping from his forehead as he continued pumping himself in and out of me, his movements more desperate than before.
“Yes, yes,” I whimpered.
My body trembled as wave after wave of pleasure washed through me, washed over me. I was so close to orgasming again, and this time, it was already feeling better and more intense than the first.
“God, Jacklyn, I'm going to come,” he groaned, a look of panic melding with pleasure on his face. “I need to pull out.”
“No, please, don't stop,” I begged. “Please.”
I had my legs wrapped firmly around him, squeezing him tight, and I wasn't about to let go. The sensations were too overpowering, too intoxicating, and I was so close. So very close. Nothing else in the universe mattered in that moment, my only thought was that I needed to climax. I needed to feel him inside of me as I came, and I needed the release more than anything. Had he stopped, I might have screamed in frustration.
Instead, I screamed in pleasure as he drove himself deep into me one final time. My body shook wildly as I came. Sawyer shuddered, burying himself to the hilt thunderous growl bubbling up out of his throat. We came together, our bodies writhing wildly as he filled me with his seed. It didn't even occur to me at the time how dangerous it all was, because in the moment, it felt like the most amazing, magical experience of my life – a feeling I never wanted to end.
The look in his eyes as he came, the way every muscle in his body tightened up as my pussy spasmed around his cock, all made me come even harder. It wasn't until he collapsed on top of me and the pleasure receded that I could even begin to think straight. I let myself get so caught up in all of the physical sensation and emotions that went with it, the risks of what we were doing were the last things on my mind.
All that mattered to me was that we came, together, and shared in something so special and amazing. He slipped out of me and laid beside me, pulling me against him. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart racing. My heart felt like it was going just as fast as his and for some reason, that pleased me. Sawyer kissed the top of my head and looked into my eyes.
“That was absolutely amazing,” he said softly.
“Yes, it was,” I said, my eyes growing heavy.
It wasn't long before I drifted off to sleep, snuggled up next to Sawyer, happy and content.
My first time was everything I'd always dreamt it would be – and a whole lot more.
* * *
“What the hell are you doing?” Milo's voice caused me to awaken with a start.
I jumped from the bed, naked as a jaybird, grabbing onto Sawyer's sheet and doing my best to quickly wrap myself in it. He, too, was also reaching for the same sheet and we had a moment of tug of war before he relinquished it to me, a sheepish look on his face.
“Don't you knock anymore, Milo?” Sawyer snapped. “Jesus Christ, get out of my room.”
I'd never heard Sawyer sound so annoyed – especially when he was speaking to Milo. He'd always been more deferential to his brother. Milo just stared at us, his expression hard to make out, but his eyes burned with anger and something else I could quite read. The tone of his voice was rough and he almost sounded hurt at finding us in bed together.
“We need to talk,” Milo growled, his eyes narrowing on Sawyer. “Get dressed and come downstairs. Now.”
I couldn't bear to look at Milo. All these years, I'd worked alongside him, my heart aching for him – and to see him so angry with me felt like a punch to the gut. I'd crushed on him for so long, but there had never been any sign he felt the same way about me. I couldn’t fathom why he’d be so upset.
Still, the idea that he'd caught me with his baby brother didn't feel too good. Maybe it was a stupid, selfish, immature thing to think, but the thought went through my head that I'd just blown any chance of ever getting together with him.
Milo quickly turned and left the room without a word, shutting the door behind him a little harder than necessary, leaving Sawyer and me alone again. My cheeks were bright red and I wasn't sure I could ever face Milo again – not after he'd found us like that. If I thought him catching me masturbating was bad, this was worse. Much worse.
“I thought you locked the door,” I muttered.
“I forgot, I guess,” he said. “Listen, I'm sorry. I'll handle Milo.”
“Handle him how?” I said.
“I'll explain that it was all my fault, I came on to you,” he said. “Don't worry, it's not a big deal.”
“But that's not the truth, Sawyer,” I said, speaking up and finally managing to look at him. “Don't get yourself in trouble with your brother. Not on my account. It's as much my doing as it was yours. I wanted it too.”
“I know, but I also know how you feel about Milo,” he said softly.
“How I feel about Milo?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah, you know –” he trailed off.
I did know, I just didn't realize it was that obvious. If Sawyer knew I'd had feelings for Milo all these years, did Milo know too? My stomach churned, and I felt like I might be sick, all of the pleasure and wonderful feelings of the night before gone, replaced by stress and worry.
“Oh God,” I said, sitting down on the bed and covering my face with my hands.
“What is it?” Sawyer said, rushing to my side.
“I didn't know my crush on Milo was that obvious, that's all. We both know that there's no chance in hell of that going anywhere,” I said. “And I don’t want you to think that you are a substitute Sawyer. You’re not.”
“Maybe. Maybe not,” Sawyer said, shrugging. “Either way, I don't want to be the reason for causing any problems between the two of you.”
“You're not the reason, Sawyer,” I said, uncovering my face and looking at him. “Milo is. Let's face it, he's not the easiest man to get along with sometimes.”
“No, he's not,” Sawyer chuckled.
“And besides, what happened last night, it was nice. It felt right,” I said. “And we shouldn't be ashamed of it, right?”
“It was nice. More than nice,” he said as he reached for my hand. I allowed him to take it and he squeezed it gently. “But like I said last night –"
“I know,” I said, cutting him off.
I did know he wasn't looking for anything serious – he'd already told me as much. But it didn't mean my heart didn't drop as I listened to him about to speak those words again. After what had happened between us the night before, after feeling that bond and connection between us growing, there was part of me that had hoped something had changed. A naive part of me, of course. Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself off the bed and started searching for my clothes.
“I'll go down and talk to Milo,” he said.
“I'll be down shortly,” I said.
“No rush.”
There was an awkwardness and tension in the air be
tween us now. Something had changed, that much was obvious. Sadly, I wasn't sure it was a good kind of change or what it might mean. Sawyer threw on his pants and shirt and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I quickly got dressed myself and stepped into the hallway. I heard voices downstairs. Milo and Sawyer, obviously, but there was someone else down there as well.
A woman – and she didn't have a voice I recognized.
I hesitated at the top of the stairs, contemplating whether or not I should go down to see what was going on. My hair was a mess and I probably looked very rough. From the sound of the snippets of conversation I was hearing, catching us in bed was not the topic of the discussion going on – and it probably wouldn't be with the random, still unseen woman who was downstairs with the guys.
I had time to shower and freshen up, thankfully. I hurried to my room, letting out a long breath of relief the moment I was alone. I wasn't sure I could face Milo again after what he'd walked in on. And honestly, I was even having doubts about being able to look Sawyer in the eye now too. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, and a powerful, deep wave of shame washed over me.
Yes, I had wanted to sleep with Sawyer last night. I willingly gave myself over to him. It was true, I had wanted to lose my virginity and experience all of that. Going into it, having sex with him was supposed to be all just fun and games. But now though, something had changed within me and I felt different. I had all sorts of feelings swirling around inside of me that I hadn't counted on.
I almost felt as if I'd somehow cheated on Milo, which was incredibly stupid. None of it made sense, and I tried to push it all away. It would pass, I told myself. Milo wasn't interested in me, not like that. He saw me as a little sister, more than anything. When I slept with Sawyer, I knew that he wasn't interested in me that way either – he'd been honest and upfront enough to tell me beforehand and gave me the choice.
So, if I developed feelings for him now, it was just tough luck. That was all on me. I'd gone into it with eyes wide open and had still done it. Which meant, I'd have to get over it somehow.
All while living under the same roof as him and having to work beside him day in and day out. I knew it was going to be a lot easier said than done. Facing the Bucknell brothers after what had happened was not going to be easy, but somehow, I knew I had to find a way past it. The ranch was my home, my whole world. I couldn't let a stupid boy get in the way of all that.
Even if that boy happened to be Sawyer Bucknell.
6
Milo
I had a hard time looking at my brother. Just his face made me feel both sick and angry. But I knew that I had no right to feel jealous. Jacklyn was a free woman to do whatever – and whomever – she pleased. I had no claim on her. She wasn't mine in any way, shape, or form.
Still didn't mean I liked walking in on them in bed together and would rather it have been me she was tangled in the sheets with..
But I had other things to worry about it. Namely, the strange woman who'd showed up on my doorstep minutes before I walked in on them. The woman stretched out her hand to Sawyer, a wolfish grin on her face.
“Bianca Carmichael of C&C Development,” she said.
“Sawyer Bucknell,” Sawyer said, shaking the woman's hand hesitantly, eyeing me as he did so. He was clearly confused.
Smart move.
Bianca was an attractive woman. Tall and lean, with a body that could have easily gotten her into modeling. Her silky black hair was pulled back into a twist. She wore glasses, which only added to the hot teacher or librarian appeal she had going on, as did the black pencil skirt and white button up shirt that hugged her ample – and probably fake – tits.
Her makeup was minimal but impeccable too. Bright red lips. Thick lashes surrounding brown eyes expertly lined. She had a natural glow to her, a warm tone to her skin that made her look as if she were perpetually tan.
“I apologize for dropping by unannounced like this,” Bianca said, sitting down in one of the oversized chairs and straightening her skirt so it at least came close to reaching her knees. “I was expecting to talk to Eli. He's not around, is he?”
“No,” I said, scratching my head as I sat down across from her.
Sawyer chose to remain standing, towering over the two of us with his arms crossed over his chest in front of him. Bianca waited as if she expected me to say something more. When I didn't elaborate, she smiled politely and then spoke again.
“Do you know when he might be back?” she asked.
“Eli doesn't live here,” I said, “And even if he did, he has no legal say about this property, Miss Carmichael.”
“Please, call me Bianca,” she said.
“I'm sorry but I don't think it's necessary to exchange pleasantries since I don't expect to be speaking with you again,” I said.
I tried my damnedest to be polite, but I was having a hard time reining in my irritation. God knew what Eli had told this young woman, but I was sure as hell going to stand my ground. I had to make it clear that there was no way in hell I would sell my land. Maybe then, these goddamn people would get it through their heads once and for all.
“Has Eli talked to you about what we're offering, Milo?” she asked, undeterred by my gruff tone.
Hearing her call me by my first name, when I hadn't invited her too – nor had I introduced myself – set me on edge. I gripped the arms of the chair tightly, my eyes boring into hers, a white-hot anger welling up within me.
“I'm not interested in any offer, whatsoever,” I growled. “You're wasting your time. And mine.”
Bianca looked over at Sawyer then back at me. She pursed her lips and gave me an almost seductive look. If she thought her beauty and sex appeal could somehow convince me to give away everything that was left of my family's legacy, she was out of her goddamn mind. And I wouldn’t mind telling her so.
“Milo, my company has extended a very generous offer.”
“Listen here, Miss,” I said, leaning forward and pointing at her as I spoke, “waltzing in her with nice tits and bedroom eyes isn't going to work for me. Nor, is it going to win me over or somehow magically convince me to do a deal with you guys. Maybe it worked on Eli. Hell, it might even work for Sawyer. But you need my signature on those papers, and I'm not going to give it, so let's just cut all the bullshit right here and now.”
“There has to be something you want, Milo,” she said, ignoring my insults. “We all want something.”
“I have everything I want right here,” I said.
Sawyer sighed, and I side-eyed him.
“What? You have something to add?” I growled.
Sawyer shrugged and shook his head. “No, there's no point. Nothing I say is even going to register with you, Milo, so why bother? You're too damn stubborn for your own good.”
Eli's voice took us all by surprise. “You can say that again.”
I stood and turned toward the doorway where his voice had come from. Jacklyn stood there, sheepishly hiding behind Eli. I didn't know whether she intended to be hiding like that or not, but that's what it looked like from where I stood. She must have let him in. My brother stood there, arms crossed in front of him and a look of pure disgust on his face.
“Look who decided to come back,” I growled. “You always come back, Eli. Always. Maybe there's a reason for it. Maybe you're not cut out for Hollywood.”
Eli lunged forward, but Sawyer grabbed his arm. “Guys, not here. Not in front of the ladies. Please.”
Ladies. Yes. Not only was Jacklyn there now, Bianca was still there littering my living room. She wouldn't be there all that much longer though – not when I'd had my say. She stood and walked over to Eli, favoring him with a wide smile. The two shook hands like old friends, obviously pretty familiar with one another already; not that I was surprised by that. I scowled and walked back toward the fireplace, my back to the rest of them. The fact of the matter was that they couldn't get anything done without my signature, so they could mingle and
chat all they wanted. Didn't mean I had to be part of it.
“Milo, come here, please. I have something I'd like to show you,” Eli said, his voice taking a softer tone than before.
I didn't turn around or acknowledge him. I focused my attention on the mantle. A family photo with the three of us and our parents. Mom was still young and beautiful back then and she looked so happy. Her smile spread from ear-to-ear, as it always did when she was around us. Dad looked stern, but content. Pretty much his typical facial expression. Then there were the three boys – I was around eight years old in that picture, maybe? Eli was a few years younger, and Sawyer was nothing but a baby in our mother's arms. My heart swelled a bit as I thought about the family back then – back in what had been much happier times for all of us.
“Milo,” Sawyer's voice came from right behind me, “please, just give him a second.”
“I've already given him more time than he deserves,” I said.
My eyes darted over to the bar in the far corner of the room, and a craving for a drink washed over me. The pull for some booze in my gut was strong – almost too strong to withstand. It was early, too early to start drinking yet, but Eli was making it hard not to start each day with a glass or two of whiskey.
I caught Jacklyn watching me from the corner of my eye, her face sullen and her eyes filled with emotion. She looked at me as if she was disappointed in me. For what though? We both agreed that the ranch should stay as it was, so unless she was a goddamn mind reader – hell, she knew me well enough that she probably didn't need to be a damned psychic. She knew me too damn well for my own good and probably knew what I was craving. A pang of shame shooting through me, I averted my gaze.
