by Gabrielle G.
With each of his movements, I feel every ounce of my body turning into mush. When my climax rolls inside me, I hold his head and immobilize him against my clit while my knees buckle and my eyes roll back. It’s the best orgasm I’ve ever had, and when Aaron stands up, his face wet from me and leans in for a kiss, I don’t hesitate to taste myself on him.
“You taste so fucking good, Sweets. Like butterscotch.” He smiles.
“I love you,” I answer, bringing him in for a hug.
“I love you too, Sweets.” He kisses the top of my head. “Can I keep your panties?” He’s dangling my underwear in front of me. I snatch them from him and cover back up. My dress is too short for me to walk with a bare ass.
“So when can we do this again?” he asks, caressing my back.
“Look who wants more now that he’s tasted it,” I joke.
“Isn’t that the whole thing about Adam and Eve? I bit the apple, and now I want another bite.” He shrugs. “In my opinion, it’s all your fault.” He’s readjusting his clothes while I arrange my hair. “Joking aside, we shouldn’t say anything to anybody, Sweets. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” He comes behind me and kisses my shoulder. It’s the sweetest touch I’ve ever felt, like a ray of sunshine warming up my shoulder or a shower of love piercing my heart.
“Just Patricia,” I mumble.
He shakes his head behind me. “Especially not Patricia. Chris said she is feeding details of our relationship to her mother.”
“She’s what?” I turn to face him.
“She’s not a friend, Al. She’s a jealous bitch and always will be. And I’m quoting her brother on that, these are not my words.” He shrugs. “Luke and Chris are your friends, but Patricia. She’s not. Don’t forget that.”
14
Now - Alane
“Thank you for picking me up," I tell my date for the night. “I wasn’t sure I could walk in alone…”
The gym has been decorated as if the Queen of England was coming. Parents and students have spent hours organizing an event that will last only four hours, but nobody dares to say how ridiculous the whole shebang is. Chaperones and teachers came early to wait for the students to appear in their gowns and tuxes, or whatever it is kids wear these days.
“Because of the anxiety? I get it.”
“Do you?”
He nods. “One of my exes had panic attacks. It wasn’t always easy to calm her down.”
“You broke her heart?”
“Not sure? It was more of a falling out of love scenario for both of us.”
“I get it.”
“Do you?” It’s my turn to nod.
“Ex-husband, remember?”
“I do.”
I smile. “We have more in common than we used to.” He smirks. My laugh comes directly from my belly. Barnabas is even cuter as an adult than he was as a kid. I wasn’t sure it was possible, but, man, he knows how to seduce a woman. His blue eyes are laughing as well, and the tiniest wrinkles appear around his eyes like magic.
Cuteness at its finest.
“Señorita,” he butchers the word with his strong accent, leading me to the gymnasium.
“Thank you, Barn. You’re a real gentleman.”
“One of us has to be,” he says, looking into the distance behind me. “Don’t turn around. My brother just showed up with Patricia,” he announces with a glimmer in his eyes.
“Patricia? Well, they would make a nice couple.” I feel a pang of jealousy in my chest. Aaron and Patricia are the last people I would want to see dancing together.
“Shit, we need to take a picture of them and send it to Luke,” Barnabas says jokingly. “The broody and the tramp.” I laugh again at his goofiness. “He’s going to be pissed at me,” Barnabas adds, looking at Aaron.
“He shouldn’t.” I shrug, handing him a glass of non-alcoholic punch. “It’s not like you’re pissing on his bed like you used to.”
“No, but I am your date for the night. That’s almost as bad as pissing directly on you.” He turns up his lips. “Oh, but look, someone else might get pissier by seeing us together.” He jerks his chin in the direction of the door where Salomé and Chris appear arm in arm.
“Sal and Chris?”
“They’re friends. They like to hang out together when he’s in town, it’s no secret she had a huge crush on him since she was like six.”
“Did she ever make a move?”
“Not that I know of. He sees her as the little sister, you know…”
“I think I know,” I tease him. “Why are they here?”
“Chris is an honorary board member. He’s the one who funded the school. Patricia doesn’t even have a teaching degree. The only qualification she has is being Chris’ sister.”
“And Sal?”
“He takes her as a date when he’s around. Better than taking Patricia… I guess Sal is hoping you’ll distract Aaron enough so she can make a move.”
“She’s in for a rude awakening, Aaron and I are long over…”
“Right,” he mocks me. “Long over— that’s why he’s shooting daggers at me right now. I just hope Patricia doesn’t try to get back in my bed. I was kind of traumatized by the noises she made.” I raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. “She barks like a seal,” he mumbles, and I can’t stop the fit of laughter spreading through me.
“What’s so funny?” Aaron’s voice arises from behind me, transforming my laughter into a squeak. Turning around, I’m transported to our night at the Winter Formal. He’s wearing a navy blue suit and a grey tie with a dark shirt. It matches his eyes, his hair, all of him. We are teenagers again, the only difference is that my so-called friend is hanging on his arm, and he doesn’t seem to mind.
“Seals,” I answer, fake-smiling with all my teeth. “Some have sex with penguins, and it seems they make a lot of noise. Have you ever seen that video Patricia?” I add before Barnabas spits his drink on Patricia’s dress.
“Barnabas!” she screams, letting Aaron’s arm go and running for the bathroom.
“That was cold, Al!” Barnabas smiles.
“But well deserved!” Aaron adds. I turn to him in confusion.
“You’re not very nice to your date, Aaron,” I chastise him. He doesn’t have time to answer when Salomé and Chris join our group. Chris hugs me tightly. If I’m not mistaken, I hear someone groaning, and I’m not sure if it comes from Salomé or Aaron.
“Alane! Seeing you here with Aaron! It’s like old times,” he says, wiping a fake tear from his eyes. “I don’t even have to distract your mother if you want to give him a blow job this time!” he adds smugly.
I don’t know what’s coming over me, but I can feel the growing rage inside me. When I was younger, I had the ice to take out my frustration. Later in life, I had rough play and sex with strangers. I haven’t really felt rage in years. It was more anxiety and panic, but since I’ve been back in Springs Falls, I’m starting to feel old emotions, from desire to anger and a little jealousy stirring back up.
“Aaron is here with your sister; she might be the one blowing him tonight. If you’ll excuse me, there is a colleague I want to see. Barn, I’ll catch you later.” I walk away without a backward glance; nervous that my anxiety will rise any minute. But it never comes. Instead, I feel delighted.
For a while, I get sucked into a boring conversation with the oldest math teacher in the country. My eyes keep darting back to the group of friends I don’t belong to anymore and when I see Patricia’s breasts pushing up against Aaron's arm, I excuse myself from my colleague, and stand in the corner to continue my observation. She’s now touching his chest, batting her eyelashes, squeezing his biceps, over and over.
“That’s some interesting nostril flaring you’re doing there, Al. Why don’t you go talk to him,” Barnabas says, standing next to me.
“I’m sorry. I’m not a fun date,” I answer, ignoring his comment.
“On the contrary. Luke is going to love this. I didn’t come h
ere to woo you. I wish I could, but I know better than to piss off Aaron, he won’t hesitate to punch me. However, Luke and I thought it could be interesting to see if we could push him a little.” He smiles.
“So you’re using me to rile him up?” I ask, confused.
“Well no, but actually yes. But also to prove to him that he should pursue a second chance.”
“I don’t want one, and neither does he.”
“So, that’s why your nostrils are flared, your eyes are burning with hate, and you’re wondering where to hide Patricia’s body?” Rolling my eyes, I don’t answer. “Why don’t you kiss me and see what he does,” he proposes.
“No, Barn… You’re seven years older than my son…” I try to dissuade him. Barnabas' eyes widen, and I realize the mistake I just made.
“Or nine years,” I quickly state, “what I mean is, you’re a little too young for me.” I don’t have time to see what his reaction is because Aaron comes between us.
“Dance with me.” It’s not a question. Aaron was never one to tell me what to do. He knew better. Taking my hand in his, his eyes look deeply into mine to find an answer I’m not ready to give. “Please, dance with me,” he pleads while I recognize the song playing, Nothing Compares to You.
“I’m not sure we’re supposed to,” I whisper, thinking how awkward it would be for the students to see a parent and a teacher dancing together. “Your kids are going to be mortified.”
“Not if we stay in a dark corner,” he says sheepishly. Nodding, I wrap my hands around his neck and let him bring me closer. I’m thrown back in time, it’s as if no time had passed.
“I would really like to catch up with you.” His lips are moving, and I can’t stop looking at them. I remember how good they felt on my breasts, or how they touched my pussy.
“Alane?”
“Sorry, you were saying?”
He chuckles. “I’m wondering too what it would be like to kiss you again.” He beams, his eyes now falling to my lips.
“Aaron, it’s easy to forget why we didn’t work, but you broke up with me for a reason, and we are both very different people than we were thirty years ago. I don’t know what you’re looking for, but…”
“Happiness.” He cuts me off. “I’m looking for happiness. Do you remember how happy we were?”
“We were kids. It’s easy to be happy when life hasn’t touched you yet.” We sway to the music, both lost in our thoughts. Mine are about the boy I used to love, all the firsts we experienced together and the long lasting love we never had.
“Just coffee to catch up, please, Sweets.”
“What about Patricia?”
“What about her?”
“Nothing, I guess. I’m happy, if you are,” Aaron laughs, and it’s not butterflies I feel inside me but a charm of hummingbirds. I always loved Aaron’s laugh because it was as rare as an ice cube in the Sahara Desert. Like his smile, his smirk, his kisses or anything involving his mouth, it was always reserved for me.
“That’s bullshit, Al! I hate your ex-husband, and I don’t even know him. I hate my own brother tonight because you came with him. Don’t pretend, Sweets.”
The music changes to a more suitable rhythm for teenagers, and I unhook my hands from behind his neck, but he keeps me close. Inching towards me, the expression in our eyes looks as if we’re both remembering the last time we danced.
I wet my lips as I look at his.
He comes even closer, and when I think he’s about to kiss me, his mouth finds my cheek. All I can feel is the tingle of his beard, and it awakens more than the nerves on my face.
“Thank you,” he says before backing away. “Think about coffee, okay.” He smirks while I can still feel his mouth on me.
I’m on cloud nine, pondering coffee with Aaron when Lawson approaches me.
I shouldn’t play favorites, but I do, especially since the kid reminds me of a certain boy who loved science as much as I did. I wonder if he knows how much he’s like his Uncle Luke.
“Mrs. Smith?” He seems uncertain he should talk to me, touching his glasses nervously.
“Yes, Lawson?”
“If I tell you something, would you tell my dad?” That’s something no teacher wants to hear coming from the mouth of a teenager.
“Listen, Lawson, if you or your sister are in danger, I will. Aaron, I mean, your dad seems to be an excellent father, and I’m sure you can talk to him.”
“It’s about Hailey though, and I promised her I won’t tell Dad, but I really think she needs help,” he says, looking at his shoes.
“Your uncle, godfather and aunt are here, why me?”
“If I tell one, they’ll all know, and every one of them will have something to say. We’ll have to discuss it at the family dinner, and have my Uncle Luke weigh in through FaceTime… I don’t think what happened tonight is worth a Gritt council.”
The only council I attended was when Luke came out. It was chill but still intense. With everybody as adults now, I can’t imagine the mess it might become.
“Where is she?”
“In the bathroom. Can you let me know if she’s okay afterwards?” I know too well how easy it can be to get the adults distracted when you want to be alone at a dance, so I walk-run in the direction of the bathroom to find Hailey crying in one of the stalls. She’s inconsolable at first and doesn’t seem to mind that it’s me she’s crying on. I would much prefer Sal to be here, but I know how it’s easier to speak to an almost stranger. I did the same with Mrs. Gritt many times. If only I could be for her half of what her grandmother was for me, I would be happy to do so.
“Talk to me, Hailey. What’s the problem?” Pinching her lips, she shakes her head, refusing to tell me. “Okay, so don’t tell me. Just let me know if you are hurt.” She shakes her head again. “Do you need medical help.” It’s another silent no. “Did someone hurt you?” She nods. “Physically?” No. “Why can’t you tell your Dad?” I ask an open question, so she will answer. It’s a trick I learned as a teacher. Teenagers like to respond by yes or no. You need to open the question to get a more elaborate, but a short answer. Still no answer, so I continue, “I was never an overly dramatic teenage girl, but Patricia was. I consoled her more than once about a boy, a bad date, her crush being gay, or whatever other things that brought her to tears and made her feel like her life was over. So you can confide in me.” It seems to do the trick.
She sighs before saying timidly, “I wasn't supposed to date.”
“Your father told you not to date?” I say surprised. She nods, and I can’t help but roll my eyes. “That’s grand.” I scoff. “Look, when I was your age, I lost who I thought would be the love of my life. I survived. We always do. I also lost my best friend and left town, moving far from my parents. Talk to your father, or any other adult in your family. I know for a fact your Uncle Luke is a great listener, and your dad and grandfather might look scary, but they are huge teddy bears. Your father might get a little mad that you disobeyed him, but he’ll listen and help. He always did.”
I shouldn’t use myself as an example, but I want her to know it’s going to be fine even if I’m not the greatest role model for teenagers. In fact, if most of the parents here knew my past, I certainly wouldn’t be teaching their kids. “Now, hand me your phone, so I can tell your aunt to come and get you. I’m sure she won’t tell.”
“She always tells Dad everything. She’s not cool at all.” I smile remembering the little girl who babbled about everything to her older brother. She used to tattletale on what Luke and I were doing when Aaron was at work.
“What about Mrs. Gritt then?”
“My mom?” My heart shatters. Of course, there is another Mrs. Gritt, and it’s not Aaron’s mom.
He has a Mrs. Gritt in his life.
Why am I here taking care of his daughter and considering coffee with him when he didn’t choose me and ended up married to someone else? Can I forget the hurt and despair he put me through? Am I strong enough to
risk my already broken wings breaking once again?
“My mom is far away and never really cared,” Hailey says, having taken my silence as an invitation to speak about her mother.
I’m dying from the inside.
Almost thirty years of suppressed pain come crashing into me, and I feel myself slipping into a world I’m all too familiar with. Misery, sadness, and hopelessness. Three encounters were enough to give me faith again when I should have been concentrating on my mother getting better.
Aaron is just someone I used to know, like an old song you can sing knowing the lyrics by heart but don’t remember who sang it or what year it came out. Despite that, I won’t leave one of my students crying in the bathroom because a boy broke her heart.
“Okay, Hailey, this is what we’re going to do.” As I lay out my plan of action: from cleaning up the mascara that transformed her face into a panda, to walking with her head held high, and to finding the cutest boy out there and asking him to dance with her; my thoughts somehow keep going back to Aaron and how my traitorous heart was ready to give him time to catch up with the possibility of a future together.
He’s my past, and it’s time I move forward and learned from it.
15
Then - Aaron
Since Alane and I crossed the line into oral sex, we’ve been busy sneaking out.
We’ve put our confidence into Luke and Chris to be sure we have people covering for us, and for all I know, Al hasn’t said anything to Patricia. She has even put some distance between them, spending most of her time with my brother when I’m not around.
I’m more envious than jealous of the bond they are building and also annoyed that Luke spends more and more time with us, but as he had lost a lot of friends when his former best friend blabbed to the whole team that Luke was gay, I can’t bring myself to ask him to leave us alone.
