She saw the seriousness in his answer, and her heart swelled. He was always much too serious. There was no need for that. Nicole attempted to lighten the mood. “Well . . . we didn’t eat. I’m staaaaarving.”
“Hungry, huh?”
“Yesss.”
Davis threw the covers back and got out of bed. He stood before her in all his naked glory. “Your wish is my command. I’ll go make you something.” He started to walk out of the room.
Nicole sat up and pulled the sheet to her chest. “Davis! You are not leaving here butt-ass naked?”
He winked. “Rayna’s asleep, and we’re home alone. Why do I need to put on clothes when you’re just going to take them off me again?”
“True.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “Not even a robe?”
“Too much time. Do you want food or not?”
“Yes. Pleaaaase.” Nicole clasped her hands together as if she were praying and laughed. “You’re terrible, but you do have a great ass.”
“I do, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.” Davis winked then strutted out of the room on a mission to find his wife something to eat.
Chapter 2
Present Day
Dana,
I apologize that it has been a while since my last letter. Thank God, my mind is finally clear enough to write, but that clarity has given way to such a heavy heart. I’m a mess but getting better every day. Since I have been here alone—without Davis—on our island, I have had plenty of time to think. A month can seem like an eternity when you are by yourself, away from everyone you love, with only your thoughts for company.
I have had nothing but time to reflect on how things went so horribly wrong—how I arrived at this place and became this person. Five years ago, things were so different. If you told me then that my life would look like this, I wouldn’t have believed it. I mean, seriously, I was caught up in the hype. I convinced myself and everyone around me that Davis and I were living the fairytale—but not everyone. You knew better, even if you were tactful enough not to say anything. I know you did. How? Because you understand that fairytales don’t actually exist. Still, I’m grateful you didn’t burst my bubble and left the façade that was my life intact. It was something I had to figure out on my own. I only wish the make-believe Gods were just the tiniest bit more honest. I wish they would have told me before I got married that a husband couldn’t fix what’s broken inside. I wish they would have told me the true Hollywood story of the fairytale—that successful love stories are really quite messy, require a lot of hard work, and a lot of forgiveness. Instead, they tell you to find your prince, and he will keep you safe, protect you from harm, and make everything perfect. Perfect? Really? What a load of bullshit.
While this is cliché, it is the truest statement I’ve ever heard—if only I knew then what I know now—maybe I would not be in this situation. The one where I allowed myself to focus on things that masked my own brokenness. Where I knowingly believed the lies in my life. Where I believed what I wanted to and not what was staring me in the face. I never knew those cracks could only be hidden for so long before they showed up and showed out. There wasn’t one space in my life that wasn’t affected by them either—especially my relationship with Davis. The marriage I wanted, what we had once been to each other, became so strained that we became people I didn’t know, unrecognizable to each other, and only fragments of the us I once knew. But I don’t blame him. I can’t. I take full responsibility for my part in how things turned out. Just thinking about it makes my chest tighten almost unbearably, knowing that it was me who caused a lot of the damage. That it was my actions that had the most effect on those around me. You cannot imagine the weight of responsibility that I feel for tearing my family apart. And the worst of it, I have no idea if I can ever make up for all my mistakes, but I want to try. I just hope it is not too late. If so, that will be my burden to bear, and I will carry it. Still, every day I pray that I get one more chance. It scares me knowing that I may never be forgiven, and if that is my fate, I will have to accept it. I can only hope the loss of my family is not the universe’s way of issuing my punishment. After all I’ve done, I won’t blame Davis for whatever decision he makes. I let him down; I let our children down, but, most of all, I let myself down. Whatever happens, going forward, I will pick up the pieces of me and do my best to be a better person, a better mother, and a better friend.
If I have not said this to you lately, thank you, Dana, in spite of everything, for always standing by my side and having my back. We’ll talk soon.
Love,
Nicole.
Nicole Chatham sat with her legs crossed as she finished her letter. She placed the notepad on the ground next to her and inhaled. The warm sea breeze caressed her skin as the salty ocean air filled her lungs.
This place, this stretch of sandy beach, was home. The jungle that sat far off behind the beach house was once something that haunted her dreams, but now, maybe it was the wildness that gave Nicole a sense of calm and freedom. At this moment, it was the safest place she had ever known, somewhere she could come and lick her wounds, even though many of them were self-inflicted.
Nicole stared out over the endless expanse of water that looked so calm it could be glass. The hot sun hadn’t fully come up yet. Its stifling heat would force her to wear a tank shirt and a pair of cut-off jean shorts. That’s why she was up early. Everything was perfect at this hour. Nicole pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. It was strange, but she felt more in control than she had in a very long time and equally unsettled.
Not much longer. Nicole’s time on the island was growing short but had had a profound effect. It was soothing and helped in the healing of her soul. Unfortunately, in one week, it would come to an end. Nicole did her best not to focus on that. There was no point. Time was something she could not control. Hadn’t she learned that by now? She sighed and spoke into the breeze. “That will be an ongoing lesson. I can only do my best to control what I can control.” The wind carried her words away. She hoped it wouldn’t take the lessons with it too. In seven more days, Nicole would have to face the music, but, for now, she was going to blanket herself in the peace and beauty of the island—her island—their island.
Chapter 3
Five Months Earlier
Nicole Chatham held the cell phone to her ear with her shoulder while doing her best to hang on to her three-year-old son, Davis Jr. or DJ. He sat on her hip, and his little arms and legs flailed about as he threw a tantrum for the ages. He was more than a little upset and screamed at the top of his lungs, making sure everyone within five miles knew it. Nicole rubbed and patted his back in a circular motion doing everything she could to soothe him.
She felt terrible that he was sick and was equally frustrated. Not just frustrated, but she was physically and emotionally exhausted. Nicole had a half of mind to throw her own damn tantrum. DJ had been ill for the past several days, and she had primarily been on her own caring for both him and her precocious six-year-old daughter. Between making sure her kids were fine, working her regular day job, and maintaining her duties with the Angel Foundation, where she sat on the board, it was all just too much. Her patience was at an all-time low, not with her children, but with Davis. She was irritated and let him know it. “You said you’d be home an hour ago.”
He knew she was pissed and with good reason. “I know. I’m sorry. The conference call couldn’t be helped. But we are wrapping up now, and I should be there soon.” DJ let out a piercing wail. It was so loud, Davis heard it through the phone. “It doesn’t seem like the antibiotics for his ear infection are working.”
“No, it’s not.” A strand of dark hair fell into her eyes, and she couldn’t see. Nicole tried to blow it out of the way because she needed both hands to hold on to DJ. It didn’t work. Her son wiggled so wildly that Nicole thought she would drop him. It was a shame that she had to hurry to do anything for herself, including moving her own damn hair out of the way. She r
emoved her hand from his waist to push it behind her ear and quickly locked her arms around him again. “He still has a small fever and seems to be in pain.”
“Did you make a follow-up appointment?”
She wanted to say, “who the hell else was going to do it?” but somehow managed to keep the words from coming out of her mouth. Still, Nicole was about to respond with something just a little less snarky when she heard her name being turned into a theme song. “Mommy . . . moooom . . . mommmieeee . . .” She looked down at the little person pulling on her leg as she walked from the kitchen to the living room. “Just a moment, Rayna.” Nicole sighed and answered the question. “Yes. I made the appointment. Dr. Swanson said she can see him tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. Can you take him? You know I have that board meeting with the Angel Foundation at 10:00 a.m. It’s been on my schedule for a month.”
Davis hesitated. “Did you say 9:30 a.m. tomorrow?” He pulled up the calendar on his computer. Of course. It was Murphy’s Law that there would be a meeting set up for 9:00 a.m. Nicole was going to blow a gasket if he couldn’t do it.
She hoisted a sliding DJ back up on her hip. “Yes. I said 9:30.” Nicole ruffled Rayna Denise Chatham’s hair as a distraction to calm her down. But the little girl was not to be placated or ignored. She was as persistent as they came and continued to tug on her mother’s leg. “Is that daddy?” She held on for dear life waiting for an answer just as DJ released another unrelenting scream into Nicole’s ear. “Mommy, is that daddy? Will he be home to read to me before bed?”
“Yes, Rayna. It’s daddy.”
Big brown eyes looked up into hers. “Will he be home?”
“I don’t know. Did you hear your daughter? She wants to know if you will be home in time to read to her.”
Nicole acted as if he enjoyed being away from his family—as if he didn’t have a business to run and problems to fix. Davis snapped more at himself than with her. “I said we were wrapping things up and that I would be there within the hour!” He was frustrated too.
Her anger had been simmering for too long and was almost at a boil. She tried to control her tone knowing Rayna was watching as she whisper-yelled into the phone. “You also said that an hour ago, and the night before, and the night before that!” Nicole was fuming. Davis treated her as if she didn’t have responsibilities too and she was tired of it. Her obligations should be a priority for him at least some of the time. After taking a couple of deep breaths, she felt in control enough to speak without screaming. When her voice came out, it was much calmer than she actually felt. “You never answered. Can you take DJ to the doctor tomorrow, or not?”
If Davis said anything other than yes, he knew he would be sleeping in the guest bedroom for a week, but it was after 6:00 p.m., he didn’t know if it were possible to reschedule his morning meeting this late. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”
Nicole saw red and knew that Davis was speaking code for I’m just too busy to handle it.
The next sound he heard was a click, then a dial-tone. Nicole had hung-up on him.
*****
It was more than an hour later, but less than two when Davis arrived home. He found Nicole in their children’s bedroom, sitting in a chair, rocking back and forth with DJ in her arms. He stood just outside the threshold of the door watching. Everything seemed so calm. It was the complete opposite from the tumultuous conversation of a couple of hours before. Davis Jr. had quieted down and had his arms wrapped around his mother’s neck as his head lay on her shoulder . . . sleeping. Rayna sat enthralled at Nicole’s feet, eyes glued to her as she listened to every word Nicole read from her favorite storybook. His chest ached a little that they hadn’t trusted him enough to be home in time to do it. If he were honest, he wouldn’t have believed him either. There had been too many times where he had thought he could make it home for a bedtime story, only to get caught up with work, and miss out. Unlike him, Nicole was a fantastic mother.
After another moment of watching his family carry-on without him, Davis cleared his throat to announce his presence and pushed off the doorframe. Rayna’s head snapped around, and her smile spread wide the moment she spotted him. Surprised, Nicole lifted her eyes to his.
“Daddy!” Rayna hopped up from off the floor and ran to him hugging his legs. “You’re home.”
Davis dropped low and wrapped his arms around her. “I told you I would be.”
Nicole’s heart squeezed. This was the Davis she fell in love with. The one who loved his family and put them first. Her gaze met his, and the anger between them from earlier seemed to dissipate.
Davis lifted a corner of his mouth in a half smile. “I can finish reading to Rayna if you want to put DJ down and relax.” That was his version of an apology.
Nicole wasn’t crazy. She was not about to turn down his offer and responded quietly. “Rayna would like that, and I could certainly use some me time.” She stood and handed DJ over. In the handoff, Davis pulled her body into his. He placed his lips onto the tender spot just behind her ear and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Nothing had been resolved, but Nicole didn’t want to fight anymore tonight. Their truce would remain at least until the next time this happened. She apologized. “Me too.” They stood in place for a few moments holding each other.
Rayna watched them intently.
Nicole pulled away and bent low to plant a big kiss on top of her daughter’s head. “G’night, baby girl. Sleep tight.”
It was as if Rayna had been holding her breath, as she watched her parents. She released it and nodded. “I will. Night, mommy.”
Davis could tell by the set of Nicole’s shoulders that she’d chosen to put her anger aside for now, but it wasn’t entirely gone. What was he supposed to do?
When Nicole straightened, her smile was small. Not because she was still angry, well, she was but more from sheer exhaustion. Unfortunately, she couldn’t turn in early; there were still a few documents that needed reviewing before her meeting tomorrow. That was IF Davis was able to take DJ to the doctor in the morning, and she could go.
*****
The room was quiet. Davis had spent the better part of an hour with his kids. However, Rayna had fallen asleep soon after he uttered the first few words from her book. After gently tucking her into bed and placing her underneath the covers, Davis kissed his daughter lightly on the forehead. Then he turned off the lights, except for the little mermaid nightlight by her bed. Once Rayna was all settled, Davis pulled his chair up to DJ’s bed. It was located on the opposite side of the room. He watched him sleep, and at some point, caressed his son’s cheek. DJ was warm to the touch, but not overly so. It killed him to see him sick and not be able to do anything to make him better.
After several more minutes of watching him sleep, Davis yawned and stretched. That was his cue. It was the first sign of his body calling out for some much-needed rest. If he didn’t make his way to his own bedroom, he’d probably find himself waking up in the exact same spot in the morning. More than anything, Davis just wanted to hold his wife.
When he walked into their room, Nicole was already in bed wearing a silky pair of short-like pajamas. Despite their fights, and after all of these years, she was still the sexiest woman he’d ever seen. The display before him was one for the magazines. Nicole wasn’t trying to be sexy—she just was. Her toned legs went on for miles and easily wrapped around his body in some really creative ways. She had fallen asleep sitting up in bed with her laptop on her thighs, and papers scattered about everywhere. Her hands were resting lightly on the keyboard. Davis turned off her computer, then closed it and gathered up her documents placing them on the nightstand next to her side of the bed. He stared at her for another few moments. He couldn’t resist running the back of his knuckles against the soft side of her face. She moaned never waking up and sliding down deeper into the bed.
Davis covered Nicole with the blanket without disturbing her too much. And, although he was dog tired, he needed a quick shower.
Once he was finished, he would crawl into bed and wrap her up in his arms.
Fifteen minutes later, he was finally able to pull Nicole into the hard wall of his chest. It wasn’t the only part of him that was hard. Her soft body was pressed squarely against a semi-aroused erection. He knew there wouldn’t be any sex tonight. However, he needed to convince his body. It moved on its own accord.
The movement woke her. Her voice was raspy from sleep. “Davis?”
He spoke into the back of her neck as the lower part of him danced to its own rhythm thrusting gently into her. “Better be. No other man should even look too hard at you, let alone be in a position to touch you like this.”
Groggily, she whispered into the darkness. “That does feel so good.” Even upset, sex had never been a problem between them. “I wish I had the energy to do more than lie here.”
Davis forced himself to be still. “You’re tired. Don’t mind me, but I’ll definitely take a raincheck.”
Nicole stretched and pushed back into his hardness, snuggling closer, as he tightened his hold. “I must have been asleep when you came in. I didn’t hear you.”
“You were gone, and already snoring when I came back from the kid’s room.”
Nicole smiled into the darkness. “I don’t snore.” She tapped him lightly on the arm. Her grin began to disappear slowly. “Rayna was super excited to have you home before she went to bed.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
Nicole turned around in his arms so that they were face-to-face. The moonlight bathed them in the darkness. “She’s growing up so fast.”
Davis loved the feel of Nicole in his arms. Life was perfect when they were like this. It was late, and he didn’t want to argue. “C’mon, Nicole. Let’s just be for tonight.”
She didn’t want to argue either and cradled the side of his face in her hands. Her eyes bore into his. “All I’m going to say is that life is only a series of moments before they are gone. Please try not to miss too many of them.” Nicole moved her head to rest on his shoulder.
Fragments of Us (A Contemporary Broken Hearts Romance) (Book Book 2) Page 2
