The slightest frown knits her brows, then understanding dawns in those naive eyes. She swallows, hard, and her tongue dashes out to lick her lower lip. “I’m not leaving.”
“Don’t do this to me,” I beg.
I don’t want to fuck her again. I can’t. The thought of leaving her behind is hard enough without giving in to the addiction one more time.
“I’ll fix this,” she whispers.
I press my forehead to hers and close my eyes. “You can’t. If I stay, I’m dead.”
“I’ll protect you.”
I let out a breath of laughter. “Yeah? And how are you going to do that?”
Her hand weaves around my neck, her nails scraping my scalp. “I’ll do whatever necessary. Just like you did for me.” She leans in, her nose brushing mine, the splash of warm water trickling down our faces. “I’ve fallen for you, Sebastian. I can’t let you go.”
“That’s the adrenaline talking. It’s the fear.” It’s probably a case of Stockholm Syndrome, too.
“No, it’s not. I’ve felt this way since before the shooting.” She digs those nails deeper, demanding my attention. “I’m never scared when I’m with you. I feel safe. I’m home.” Her lips brush my jaw. My cheek. “I need this to work. I don’t care what it takes.”
What it takes could be her life. I refuse to be responsible for that.
I pull back, opening my eyes as I cup her face in both hands. “Listen. Hunter is going to come after me. And if he went through my house like I wanted him to, he’s going to find this place real fucking soon.”
“How? We’re in the middle of nowhere.”
“We’re in the middle of my brother’s house,” I confess. “I called in a few favors and asked him to disappear for a few days.”
Her eyes flare, the panic evident before being smothered with more of her determination. “Then we run. Together. We get out of here. We hide.”
“You don’t want to leave your family, beautiful. You couldn’t live without Layla or Stella. And you told me last night how close you are to Cole.”
“It will only be temporary.” She brushes her mouth over mine, slaughtering me with the sexual plea. “We can figure out—”
“This isn’t a negotiation.” I wish I could find a way to make this work, but the truth is, her optimism has no place here. Hunter will never forgive me, and Torian will take pleasure in putting a price on my head.
It’s over.
“I’m leaving here, Keira, and you’re not coming with me.”
21
Keira
I shove at his chest. “Why are you so goddamn stubborn?”
Those dark eyes turn pained. “I’ve already lost someone I care about. I have no plans of letting that happen again.”
My stomach revolts in both anguish and anger. “That’s not good enough.” I get in his face, the shower’s spray dousing my shirt, making the material cling to my skin. “I’ve lost someone, too. I know how it feels. It’s the reason I won’t let you go.”
He gives a sad smile. “Keira…”
“Don’t,” I scold. “For once, just listen.”
He sucks in a breath and straightens, placing space between us. “Fine. I’m listening.”
My heart thumps in my ears. I don’t know what to say to make him stay. There’s only hope and want and so much need spurring me to fill the silence. “Once Cole finds out about our father, he will disown him. He knows what I went through with Richard. He would never associate our name with that type of—”
“That’s not the point, buttercup. The issue here is that I’m an informant. I gave the Feds enough probable cause to wiretap your uncle’s phone. It’s only a matter of time before they take you all down, and I fucking helped.”
“You’re not the first, and you won’t be the last. People have been feeding the Feds information since before I was born. It’s nothing new. They rarely find anything that sticks. And when they do, we’ve got men on their payroll to help us out. I’m not worried.”
“Can you hear yourself?” He cringes. “I fucking betrayed your family.”
“You did what was necessary to fight for your sister.”
“Cole won’t see it that way. You shouldn’t even see it that way.”
I give him a sad smile, pouring my heartfelt affection into the expression. “What I see is someone who should be admired for their strength. You’re fearless, Sebastian. You did what was right for you and yours without worrying about the consequences.”
He closes his eyes briefly, his brows pinched. “You’re being delusional, princess.” He pins me with a placating expression, his lips pulled into a sad smile.
“No, I’m not. If the authorities had anything on us, they would’ve used it by now. There’s nothing they can do.”
“They’ve already told me exactly what they’re going to do. If I run out on them before they can make an arrest, those assholes are going to make Sarah and Hunt look like rats.” His eyes narrow as he leans close. “And look at me, already running.”
He appears entirely tortured. But I still have to ask. “Are they? Rats, I mean. Are they involved?”
“No.” His response is vehement. “Why do you think Hunt tried to kill me yesterday? Nobody fucking knew except the agent I’ve been working with. And she’s going to set up Hunt and Sarah as soon as she finds out I’ve high-tailed it. She probably already has.”
My belly does that tumbling, squeezing thing again. “If only one agent knows, then maybe that’s the answer. We take her out. Problem solved.”
He winces. “You need to stop fighting. This shit can’t be fixed.”
I won’t.
I can’t.
“I’m not ready to let you go.”
He gives me a sad smile. “I wish there was an alternative.”
I inch closer, my soaked chest leaning into his, the hard length of his cock pushing into my abdomen. His jaw ticks as he backtracks, moving to the far wall of the enclosed space.
I don’t allow for any distance between us as I follow.
“You want me.” I reach a hand between us and grab his length. The hiss of his breath is sweet victory. “You can’t deny it.”
“You’re right, I can’t.” His eyes soften. “But fucking you isn’t going to make me change my mind about risking your life. I won’t be seduced into hurting you.”
“Hurting me?” I falter. I almost break.
This isn’t about my safety. It’s about his. When it comes to my family I can look after myself.
“Yes, hurting you,” he repeats. “Hunter and Cole will come after me, guns blazing. It’s too dangerous for you to be anywhere near me. I should already be gone.”
I want to shove some sense into him. But the sight of his bruised and battered body keeps me in check. “No.”
“Yes,” he growls. “I need to get as far away from you as possible.”
I crumple, my insides turning to dust with his continued protection. “I’m begging you.” My fragility is clear in the fracturing of my tone. My throat burns. My eyes, too. “Don’t run. I don’t want this to end.”
He grabs the wet material of my shirt, scrunching it in tight fists. “Give it a day or two. Once you’re back home with your family, this will be nothing but a bad memory.”
“Like hell it will.” I snuggle into him, my mouth an inch from his before dawning hits me hard in the ribs. “Is that what I’ll be to you? A bad memory?”
His face pinches, his hands still clinging to my shirt. “I’ve wanted to save you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. I could’ve run that night and not worried about Cole wasting the time or effort to hunt me down. But in the back of my mind, I thought if I couldn’t save Penny, the least I could do is save you.”
“You have saved me.”
He reaches a hand between us, the pad of his thumb brushing my bottom lip. “It wasn’t real, remember? That defining moment for me was nothing but a lie for you. I’m not who you think I am, and you’re not w
ho I thought you were, either. You’ll realize that once you’ve had time to think.”
“I don’t need time. Or space. Or whatever else you want to suggest next.” I clutch his wrist, keeping his hand at my mouth. “My mind is clear. My decision is made. We may have fabricated stories that brought us together, but we’re here for a reason.”
“Yeah, because I tried to take on the biggest crime family in the state and failed.”
“No. You’re here.” I tap my chest. My heart. “You’re in here for a reason.”
He cups my cheek, and those eyes fill with pity. “Keira—”
“Don’t.” I squeeze his wrist. “Don’t you dare tell me you’re still leaving.”
He sighs and tugs against my hold to lower his arm to his side. “Then I don’t know what you expect me to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Just be with me.” I pull the sodden shirt over my head to bare my body to him. “Help me make this work.”
His chin hitches. His eyes flare.
“I need you, Sebastian.” I drag the waistband of my underwear down my thighs, letting them fall to the floor. “I know you need me, too.”
He’s contemplating surrender. I can taste the sweet victory on my tongue. I can see the effect temptation has on him.
“Manipulation runs deep in those veins, doesn’t it, baby cakes?”
I guess I should be insulted.
I’m not.
I know it’s his last ditch effort to reject me. I’m wearing him down. Convincing him of what we both need. “I can be manipulative. But that isn’t what this is. What you’re feeling is a connection you know you can’t deny. There’s a reason this seems right despite all the reasons it should be wrong.”
“That’s the thing—” He reaches around me and shuts off the water with harsh twists of his wrists. “This doesn’t seem right at all. The way I feel for you—the way I’ve always felt for you—is a fucking disgrace to my family.”
He grabs me around the waist and carries me, soaked and dripping, to the bed where he lays me down. The sheets grow damp beneath me, and my skin prickles with a harsh chill. But the worst part is the way he backs away, retreating as if he’s finally found the strength to cut ties.
“I’m going to grab a bite to eat, pack some things, then get out of here. You won’t be alone for long. Hunter will find you soon.”
He starts for the door, and I panic.
I don’t know what to do. I’m out of ideas to make him stay. “Sebastian.”
He pauses, and I do something so out of character my whole body trembles as he glances over his shoulder.
I slide a hand over my waist, down my stomach to the apex of my thighs. With my heart hammering in my chest, I part my legs to him.
I’m no stranger to my own touch, but I’ve never considered myself a temptress. The desire to instigate sex has never been a driving force for me. Not until now, when I have no other tricks up my sleeve.
He stares, his lip slowly curling into a snarl.
I don’t know if the expression is from disgusted fury or despised temptation. I don’t know anything anymore…anything but want.
“Stop it,” he growls.
I shake my head. “I can’t.”
I slide a finger along my pussy and close my eyes, moaning a little with the penetration. My pleasure is drowned under possible humiliation, but I pretend I’m swimming in lust. I work my finger in circles and cup my breast. I do all the sexy things I’ve seen and read about despite feeling fake the entire time.
“Keira, stop.”
I don’t listen. I continue my display, keeping my eyes squeezed shut to ward off the nerves.
“Fuck,” he grates.
There’s torment in his voice. So much anger and aggression aimed in my direction.
I’m not scared by it. He won’t hurt me. I’m more concerned I’m hurting him for pushing an agenda he won’t admit he wants to be a part of.
Blood rushes in my ears as I play with my clit, rubbing my thumb back and forth. I can’t hear anything over my heartbeat. The loud throb echoes through me, increasing the anxiety.
I’m tempted to take a peek to see if he’s watching. Maybe he already left the room. He could’ve walked away.
My heart pangs.
“You’re killing me, shortie.” His hands latch onto my ankles and drag me along the bed.
I squeal, opening my eyes to his anguished stare.
“Why are you doing this to me?” he murmurs. “Why do you keep playing games?”
I lean up on bent elbows. “There’s no more games. I promise.”
A myriad of emotions wash over his features—determination, uncertainty, and a glimmer of hope. They all mix together, showing me the kind soul buried behind the bruised and battered exterior.
“There’s no more lies, either,” I admit. “All I want is you.”
I adore him. I won’t even bother denying it. How can I when he challenged my father—the most powerful man I know? Sebastian stormed the castle. He made himself into a warrior and protected me every step of the way.
My dad couldn’t even safeguard his wife from all the dangers he created. And he sure as hell didn’t protect me from his own brother.
From birth, I’ve been sheltered, not shielded, and Sebastian is a breath of the freshest, purest air against that harsh reality.
He’s strength and commitment and discipline.
Honor, morality, and pride.
He’s far greater than someone with my track record deserves. But I guess I’m a slave to my bloodline, because despite knowing I’m undeserving, I’m not willing to give him up.
“I’m yours,” I whisper. “Whether you want me or not.”
His jaw ticks. “I fucking want you, Keira. I can’t stop.”
I sit up and drape my legs over the edge of the mattress, coming up close and personal with his bare waist. I hold his gaze as droplets trek his body, dripping from his hair to his chest, all the way down to the erection within reach.
He’s a masterpiece. All that muscle. All that ink.
And now, knitting them together is all the pink and purple flesh caused from my lies.
My heart trembles beneath tightening ribs as I lean forward and place a kiss on his stomach. He peers down at me, his intensity bathing me, warming me. He fucking invigorates the hell out of me as I inch lower, dragging my lips on a slow trail until I’m nestled right next to the head of his cock.
I pause and watch him swallow deep. He has so much power over me, but right now, I can see that influence shift. I’m in control. He’s at my mercy.
I tilt my head toward his sex.
He’s thick and bulky. An entirely new discovery for me.
I’ve never done this before, and I know exactly why. I wasn’t supposed to. This moment was made for Sebastian.
I lean closer, poking out my tongue to trail it along his shaft. I lick the water droplets. I taste the salty tease of him seeping from the head of his cock.
“Jesus,” he hisses.
My tension eases, his curse uplifting in its ferocity. He fists my hair in his hands, the strands pulling tight.
I shudder, becoming a slave to his brutality. My pussy throbs. I have to squeeze my thighs tight to stem the ache. But then he steps away, and I’m petrified he’s found the will to leave.
“Move back on the bed, sweetheart.”
I nod, overwhelmed with relief as I comply.
He slides over me, gentle and slow, his heavy weight pressing me into the mattress. His mouth finds mine. His tongue delves deep. He kisses me like he’s taking his last breath. He cups my face and grips my waist as if I’ll skitter away in the wind.
He’s everywhere. His hands. His mouth. His affection.
I’m royalty under his touch.
I rake my fingers into his hair and hold tight. “Promise me you won’t leave.”
He ignores me, nudging his hips into mine, the head of his cock parting my folds.
His stare holds
all the promise I need. I see the commitment in his eyes. The pure, undeniable want for me, just like I want him.
I raise my ass off the bed, making him sink deeper. The pleasure is instantaneous. Every inch of me tingles, from my toes to my nipples, my fingers to my face.
I moan. I don’t bother holding it in.
I’m not going to shy away from how he makes me feel.
I want everything he has to give, and I refuse to take it on a temporary basis. This can’t stop. He can’t walk away.
His hips begin to roll, the slow undulation sinking through me. We’re made for each other. There’s no denying how right this feels. He increases his pace, the kisses growing in intensity, the hands roaming my body seeming addicted to learning my curves.
My back arches off the bed. My hips rise to meet him.
We move in perfect harmony. Two people. One act.
Pure fate.
He’s fucked me hard before, with strength and dominance. We’ve groaned and clawed as we sought our pleasure. That’s the way I’d always thought sex would be. Rough. Hard. Punishing.
I never imagined it like this. Not with him. Not with anyone.
I never realized how soul crushing the connection could be. How one man would have the power to shatter me to my core and build me back up, piece by piece, with the heated, sweaty movements of his body.
I’m transfixed.
Enslaved.
He increases his pace, sliding into me and retreating in smooth synchronicity as he peers down at me.
I’ve never felt this beautiful. Entirely worshiped.
I’m overwhelmed with emotion as he whispers compliments I never would’ve imagined would be spoken about me. He speaks of my beauty. He murmurs his adoration.
You’re gorgeous. You’re perfect. You’re mine.
Those words are everything.
I kiss him—his cheek, his jaw, his chin. He grazes his teeth across my neck and licks a delicate trail along my shoulder.
He tastes. Savors.
I wrap my legs around his waist, allowing him the deepest penetration. But it’s also because I need to hold him. I have to cling tight. I refuse to let go.
He slides a hand between me and the mattress, cupping my ass.
Decker Page 22
