by R. D Rhodes
Cellular phone, sounding a death tone,
Corporations goin, turn ya to stone
Before you realise!
That vision again! That ladder. What does it mean? Are we all on the verge of breaking through some collective consciousness? What does it mean? Maybe I should ask them? But I don’t want to. Oh God, what is with me? Why do I feel like this?
“Can I have a sweet?” Harry said.
“Sure.” Alex’s eyes remained on the road.
Harry opened the cylinder tin that was next to the handbrake and took out a boiled humbug. He offered Alex then turned to me and stretched out his arm.
Red and green and yellow. I took a green one.
But Harry didn’t draw his arm back. “You okay? You look a bit…pale?”
I swallowed. I didn’t know whether to say it or not. “I’ve got a bad feeling.”
The back of Alex’s neck stretched up. Harry’s brows narrowed.
“About what?”
“I don’t know. I just do.” I said.
Harry’s face waited. “I just feel a bit sick.” I lied. “It’s nothing.”
McDonalds flashed by the window on my right.
“It will just be the crowds, mate.” Alex reasoned. “I struggle with them too. It’s hard, isn’t it? Especially after being in nature for so long!”
Harry smiled to back him up. “We’ll be on our way back to Affric in twenty minutes. Right, Alex?”
“Sure!
“See. Don’t worry.”
I looked away from his smiling face. I just wanted to go back. I wished I’d never left the forest. I felt terrible, and was filled with a horrible sense of foreboding, but I didn’t know why. We went through a roundabout and onto the other side,
…So serene on the screen
you were mesmerized.
Cellular phone,
sounding a death tone.
Shut up, Aisha, I said in my head, but that song went on playing like my brain was trying to distract me,
Load the clip in, omnicolour.
Fire at the prime time.
Sleeping gas every home like it was Alcatraz-
And mother fuckers lost their minds!
We passed KFC, Pizza Hut, crossed a bridge over the river.
Is that River Ness?
No escape from the mass mind rape.
Maybe it is.
Play it again Jack, and then rewind the tape
And then play it again
and again
and again
Until ya mind is locked in.
I bit down into the sweet. The outside world felt exactly like London, just without the skyscrapers.
They say jump and ya say how high!
Ya brain-dead!
Ya gotta FUCKIN’ BULLET IN YA HEAD!
Everything got greyer. And darker. The clock on the dashboard said 4 o’clock.
“Alex?” I said. “You got Rage Against the Machine?”
His eyes darted to the mirror then back to the road. “No, sorry. Check out my CD’s if you want though. Could you pass them to her, please? They’re in the glove compartment.”
Harry handed me the CD case. Fratelli’s. R.E.M, Kate Bush, P.J Harvey. But Tesco’s red and blue letters had already appeared.
It was even busier than the last place. The cars in rows after rows like intestinal gutters leading up to the jaws of the entrance. First all the food had gone from the land to the store, and now all the people had too. I just wanted to be back at Affric already. Not in this apocalypse.
Alex’s head turned left and right “Jesus. No spaces anywhere. Ah, here’s one!”
He tried to maneuver between a van and a Range Rover.
“Do you need help getting in?” Harry asked.
“You saying I can’t park?”
“Yes.”
They both laughed. Alex managed to squeeze through. We clicked off our seatbelts, but we stayed in the car.
The rain came down heavier on the windshield.
“Will we have a look at the bins first?” Alex enquired.
Harry looked towards the store. “Nah, no point. They will definitely be closed. I’ve checked them all at least five different times in the past few months. They are always fuckin locked.”
“Must be company policy.”
“Aye. To waste food.”
Tesco’s glowing lights waited. People shunted trolleys below the big red letters. “I’m just gonna stay in the car.” I said.
“Fair enough. I’ll leave the keys in for you, mate.” Alex said. He opened the door and got out and waited outside. Harry stayed and looked back at me. The world inside and outside of the car was dark under the shadow of the sky.
“It’s away to tank it down.” his black eyes observed. “Look, we’ll be okay. We’ll be right back then go straight to Affric. Do you want me to stay?”
“No. No. Just Go.”
“Are you gonna steal?” I added.
“Well,” he patted his pockets and held up his palms, “We only have a tenner left between us, so I’m gonna hafta.”
“Just be careful.”
“When have I not been?” he smiled.
His calmness reassured me. I smiled back. And it was true. All the worrying before, or at least most of it, had been for nothing.
“Do you want me to get anything for you?”
“A bar of dark chocolate would be nice.”
He reached out his fist in a pretend punch, leaving it just short of my face. He laughed, opened his door, jumped out, snapped it shut and went away with Alex.
I waited, fidgeting about nervously. Then I got out the car and stood next to it, my hand resting on the bonnet, and looked over the many other roofs to the entrance. The rain fell down quicker.
I got back in, into the driver’s seat and flicked on the radio. But there was nothing good, just endless cheesy Christmas songs. I put on a Red Hot Chili Peppers CD and played Californication. It was the only song of theirs I liked.
I listened to it once then switched it off again, watching the rain instead.
Five minutes later I spotted Harry, coming back through the car park, with a bag in each hand. He smirked slyly when he saw me. He opened the side door and threw in his bags and climbed in the back alongside them.
“Did you steal all that?” I said.
“No.” he lied.
“What did you get?”
“More porridge. Rice. Powdered eggs. Long-life milk. Some more dried fruit. Here’s your chocolate bar. You want it now?”
“I’ll keep it for later.” I said. “Thanks.”
“Sure. How ye feelin?”
“A wee bit better.”
“Good.”
I watched two fat parents and their even fatter kids waddle out of the store with two full trolleys. Ten minutes passed. The rain tinkled down on the glass. It went off, then on again in a short spurt, then off once more. People pushed their trolleys in front of the car and loaded up their boots. Cars pulled out and drove away. Others filled their places.
“What is he doing?” I said.
“I don’t know. It’s mental in there…”
It went quiet again.
“..Hey, wanna hear a good pizza joke?”
“Go on.”
“Okay. Ach, never mind. It’s too cheesy.”
I sniggered. “That’s not bad.”
“Yeah I- Oh, here he is.”
“What?”
“He’s coming.” Harry nodded.
Alex was coming out the store, like a giant stepping through a crowd of elves. We could see his dark bushy beard even from where we were. He went left and headed down our lane, holding three shopping bags in his arms. But then he stopped and looked around, confused, his eyes scanning the row of cars on our side and then the other. He couldn’t remember where he’d parked. Finally he glanced our way, and smiled shyly. Harry and I laughed, and as he came closer he laughed as well, when I glanced beyond him, at the store, and saw a fat man in a
black blazer running out. His bald head snapped urgently around then locked in on our lane. He ran across and stared down on Alex’s back.
He shouted something.
He looked angry.
Alex’s face froze. His smile dropped. He spun round towards the security guard then spun quickly again towards us with wild, frenzied eyes. The guard started running,
“HEY! YOU!”
Alex pretended he hadn’t heard but it was obvious he had. He stepped quickly towards the car, and the guy was getting closer, surprisingly fast.
“Sshhit!” Harry threw open the side door from his back seat “GIVE ME YOUR BAGS!”
I turned the ignition and the car started and I jumped across to the passenger’s side. Alex launched his stuff into Harry’s arms and leapt in at the wheel.
“OI! YOU!” the man screamed again. You could hear him right across the car park.
“Drive! DRIVE!” Harry ordered.
The car suddenly jerked forward, and right, and sped up towards the security guard. His huge girth went rigid, his eyes on us widened, and I was sure Alex was about to mow him down. “STOP!” I screamed, but Alex’s face was determined, when at the last second, he swerved. The wheels screeched loud and as we flew down the road I looked through the back window- the guy was livid, furiously screaming into his radio.
Alex turned towards the exit, behind two other cars before the motorway. His burning brown eyes suddenly widened in realization, “SHIT! SHIT! I CAN’T GET CAUGHT!” He gripped the wheel tight as we waited desperately. “WHAT HAVE I DONE? NO MORE WORKING WITH KIDS. NO MORE TRAVELLING. FUCK. FUCK!”
“Just keep going. Don’t panic.” As nervous as I was myself, I put my hand on his shoulder and I tried to calm him down. My mind was racing faster than ever. I couldn’t cope with the thought of getting caught and tried to freeze it out. Breathe. Breathe, I told myself, as we got onto the motorway and the speedometer fired up to 80 and Alex cut into the third lane.
“I can’t get caught. I can’t get caught.” He rapped.
“Us neither.” Harry snapped back. “We escaped from an institution. We-
“You what?”
“Just keep going.” I butted in. “And SLOW DOWN. You’ll draw attention.”
We crossed the bridge and passed McDonalds and went through the roundabout. The road was choked with the rush hour traffic- cars on our three lanes and the lanes on the other side. We passed the factories on our left and the retail stores and Dave’s Sports and Outdoors.
“Oh no.” Alex shivered. A police van appeared on the other side. We watched with bated breath as they kept on going.
“Maybe they didn’t see us?” I said.
“Maybe they haven’t been alerted yet?” Harry reasoned. He leaned forward. “Hey. Hey. Alex, it’s okay. It’s passed. We’re almost there.”
Yet again I was amazed by his calmness. He sat there on the back seat like it was a totally normal scenario. But my heart was beating like a drum. We went through two more roundabouts.
“Nice and slow.” Harry said mellowly. “Nice and slow, mate. Nobody knows. You won’t get caught.”
I turned the music up, Californication. The sign for Cannich and Dingwall appeared ahead. We were almost out, but there was a three-lane queue in front of us, and the traffic lights were red.
We slowed into the middle lane. The engine juddered. The fumes from the cars in front billowed up into the air. Cars behind us. Cars to the side. We were boxed in.
Alex breathed out deeply, his huge hands clutching the wheel in a death grip. Six foot three and built like a horse and he was trembling like a leaf. “I’m fine.” He told himself, “I’m fine. It’s okay, Alex, you’re okay. What were you guys saying about an institution?!”
Harry opened his mouth, but I stopped him. “Nothing.” I said. “It’s nothing. What music do you want? Let’s put No Code back in.” I changed CD and flicked to the last song- the calmest, most tranquil one. A nursery rhyme lullabied
“III’m wishing you all well,
Find-ing peace within your-self.”
We waited. The light stayed red. The cars all around us rattled gently in their stillness. We stayed quiet. The tension was unbearable.
The seconds felt like hours.
“Off to sleep, my lit-tle child.” the music sang.
A siren wailed behind us. We all looked back to see the blue lights flashing.
“No! No! No!” Alex’s face pained. “Leave us alone! Shit! I can’t stop. I can’t stop. I CAN’T RISK IT! THE LAW MAKES NO SENSE!”
“WAIT! It might not be for us.” Harry pacified. “Just keep at the same speed.”
The lights turned green. Alex revved at the same pace as the other cars. We went through the roundabout and joined the other side, but the police car sped up and cut into our lane, overtaking two cars until it was right behind us. Its headlights flashed. I felt sick with dread.
“WHAT DO I DO?!” Alex wailed.
The headlights flashed again. The two male officers eyed us warningly. One of them waved his hand, “TURN IN. TURN IN!” I saw him mouth, but Alex stepped down on the accelerator and the meter went 70,80,90. The engine roared at its capacity as we pulled away and accelerated down the right lane. With every blink we were overtaking another car. But the police were catching up. Alex undercut to the middle lane, then back to the right, then he sped straight over to the left and down the turn off for Loch Uich.
Thick splotches of rain landed on the window and in seconds it was pouring down. Alex turned on the wipers as we went flying round a corner, the blur of fields and trees and houses racing by at a hundred miles an hour. The engine groaned for mercy. If we weren’t in trouble before, we were fucked now. The meter said 110. My heart was in my mouth. I just wanted it to stop. We flew up a hill and shot round a bend and blasted through a wood, trees thick about us, green green green flashing in the window. We’d pulled clear. I couldn’t see the police. “We’ve lost them!” Harry exclaimed. Then ahead I saw the road curving sharply to the right, we were at it in seconds. The wind went underneath me. I felt the car spinning. It’s a cliché but time really does go in slow motion as your life flashes by. And as the car whirled around, it was only my body and my mind that was still. Finally, it’s over, was, to my surprise, my only thought.
We went over the embankment, backwards, and careened down the hill. I heard the violent clash and clatter of mechanics, and then nothing.
PART 4
Chapter 68
Blackness. Everything was black.
There was the low rumble of what sounded like an engine.
It was the only sound.
Am I dead? I thought.
I wiggled my toes. I felt my feet. Then I was aware I was lying on my back, a hard floor beneath me. No, I’m not dead. Unless this is the afterlife?
No. I’m moving.
No, it’s the ground that’s moving. And shaking. I can feel it shaking.
I groggily smoothed my palm across the floor. It was rough, with little chips in it. Like wood, but I couldn’t feel any grains.
I stood up and whacked my head against a three-foot-high roof. I cried out and squatted in the dark, rubbing my hand against the pain. It was hard to keep my balance. I was confused, disorientated. I got down on the floor and tried crawling, feeling my way across until I came to a wall. I felt it then knocked on it softly. It was metal and hollow. The wall it joined into was too, and the others. Four small walls, a moving floor, I’m in-
I heard incoherent voices behind me. In deep monotones. Men’s voices.
I crawled the five yards and listened through the wall.
“Hrhmfh money. Hrmmfhgm..person. Hrihmgh.” I couldn’t make it out. Then there was a sudden sharp movement, and my body toppled over and I hit the ground hard. The floor bumped several times against my back.
A cold panic seized me, and I sprang forward and banged my fists against the opposite wall from the voices. The metal thudded dully but it didn’t move. I felt for
a handle but there was none. I kicked out with my legs.
“HEY! STOP THAT!” one of the voices commanded.
I kicked again and again and the wall rattled and shook. My feet felt the gap down the middle, but the doors wouldn’t budge.
“FUCKING STOP!!”
Breaks squealed. I went flying backwards, smashing into the other wall. All movement ceased. A door opened somewhere and slammed shut. There was coughing outside.
The doors parted and in front of me a face appeared lit dimly against the backdrop of the night. His tall, muscular figure silhouetted. He was like a shadow, dressed all in black. The road was underneath the arms that were spread Christ-like, but I could see nothing else.
He lifted his knee up. He was climbing in.
“FUCK OFF! GET OUT! LET ME OUT, YOU CUNT!!!” I screamed.
His figure crawled forward, like a demon, and I edged back into the wall and kicked. I caught him flush in his face, I think on the nose, but he hardly flinched. He came again. He had something in his hand. He grabbed my arm and pushed his weight down on top of me. I wrestled and writhed but he was too strong. He lifted up my sleeve. I felt a stab of pain in my bicep. Then a cold liquid. My eyes closed on the blackness…
Chapter 69
T he sound of dripping water brought me back. I opened my eyes to the same pitch darkness. I blinked several times but couldn’t make out a thing. For a moment I thought I was blind.
The only sound was amplified- the drip drip drip into a puddle somewhere on my left, bouncing back with a hollow echo every five seconds. It must have been a small room. And it was cold, the dampness was seeping through my clothes and into my bones and I realised I had no jumper- it had been removed. I could feel my sweat-soaked t-shirt sticking tight against my belly. My bare forearms too were plastered against my face- forearms that were held above me. I tried to move them and a hot, searing pain shot down from my wrists and made me cry out.
