“Authorities here are blaming a rampaging Minervan priestess for a string of murders that now cover most of the provinces of the so-called United States of America, or USA. The murders began two days ago, when the owl-worshipping witch escaped from a Weegee transport and killed two theology students who attempted to apprehend her in the airport of New York City. Since then, there have been 34 additional murders accomplished using a variety of means marking a grisly, if apparently randomly directed, path across this stricken kingdom. The USA is the primary source of assistance to the Kennewickians seeking freedom from Minervan oppression, and most observers believe that the priestess’s murder spree represents an attempt by the Minervans to frighten the Americans into abandoning their Kennewickian brothers, and to prepare them for their own enslavement. The government is warning all citizens to be on the lookout for the witch, who is considered armed, malevolent, and extremely dangerous. An award of one million American dollars— equivalent to only 2.42 blue backs but a princessly sum here—has been offered for her capture, dead oralive.”
Harry Hamilton eyed his pump-action shotgun above the mantelpiece appreciatively. “If she comes around here, it’ll be dead or dead,” he said. He turned to his son. “What do you think, Andy. Would‘Old Blood and Air Betsey’ be good enough to do the job?”
Andy nodded.
Sally explained to Alice. “He calls her ‘Old Blood and Air Betsey’ because after he fires her at the target, there is generally nothing left but blood and air.” She studied Alice’s face, hoping to detect a reaction, but there was none.
Kolta Bruna continued. “Meanwhile, in New York City, a group of devoted Christian theology students continue to hold the Northern Confederation priestess Urania in the basement of the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine. Today they released two of her fingers and promise to continue to amputate parts of her anatomy until all galactic powers terminate support for the ongoing Minervan persecution of this planet’s native inhabitants. Despite pleas from the Northern Confederation and Central Union, the Western Galactic Empire has refused to accede to this reasonable request, thereby putting not only Urania, but the priceless Inca artifacts she was sent to protect, in the greatest ofdangers.”
“The Galactic News Service was invited into the Cathedral of Saint John the Divine, where my cameraman and I obtained this exclusive footage of the amputations. We warn that this footage may be too graphic for some viewers. However we feel that everyone in the galaxy needs to see it, in order to gain a fuller appreciation of the horror that the loveless owlworshippers are inflicting on this planet.”
The image shifted to the basement of a church, where a group of powerfully-built men was holding a tall redheaded woman down on the table. In the background, some other people were chanting prayers. As the woman screamed, one of the men started to saw off her pinky.
“Harry, please turn that off,” Martha Hamilton said.
Sally’s father complied.
“That’s wrong,Harry,” Sally’s mother said.“They shouldn’t be doing that.”
“This is war,Martha,” Harry grunted. “It’s not always pretty. By capturing her, those men have at least forced some of the aliens to stop helping the Minervans. That’s a major victory.”
Andy said, “But Dad, if they kill her they’ll lose all their leverage.”
Harry nodded. “True. They are now going too far. They should just hold her hostage, and not cut her up, at least as long as the Norcs stay neutral. Of course, if we catch that Minervan, this will be a small sample of what she gets.”
Sally stood up. “I need to take Blackie out for his morning walk. Andy, Alice, why don’t the two of you come with me? There are some things I’d like to talk about with you.”
Mother smiled. “So, its’ a private meeting of the young folks, is it? Perhaps Sally wants to tell her big brother about her newest boyfriend?”
Sally blushed. She didn’t really have a boyfriend, but Mom liked to tease her about every possibility.
Father smiled. “It’s OK. You youngsters need to have some time on your own together. We understand. Have a good time.”
Sally grabbed the leash. “Let’s go.”
When they reached the pond, Sally released Blackie so the dog could have some fun chasing the ducks. Then she sat down on a tree stump and called the other two over.
“So,” she began. “Would either of you two mind telling me what this is about?”
Andy had a surprised expression. “What is what about?’
“This,” Sally said with emphasis. She pointed at Alice. “Her.”
Andy looked distressed. “I don’t understand, Sal. I thought you liked Alice.”
“Alice?” Sally said with a satiric edge in her voice. “Is that her real name? Are you sure it isn’t Artemis, or Nendra, or Minaphera?”
“What are you getting at, Sal?” Andy said with attempted innocence.
The continued pretense got Sally mad. “Do you think I am stupid, or something? Just what are you trying to pull?”
Andy said, “I’m not trying to pull anything.”
Alice cut in. “It’s no use, Hamilton, she knows.”
Sally turned to face the woman. “Who are you really? Tell me the truth. What isyour name? Where are you from? What do you want?”
Alice returned Sally’s accusing look with a level gaze that suddenly seemed much more sincere. “My name is Aurora. I am a priestess of the Goddess Minerva, 3rd Class. I was born on Pegasus 3, and now live in New Minervapolis. I am trying to get home.”
Sally reeled. Up till now she had her suspicions, but she was mentally unprepared for their sudden absolute confirmation. A minute ago she had been on a pleasant walk with her brother and his nice, if rather weird, new girlfriend. Now she was face to face with a deadly Minervan.
She tried to be brave. “Are you the one who murdered those two stu- dents at LaGuardia Airport?”
“No,” Aurora said.
“How can I believe you?”
“Because I killed them,” Andy interjected.
Sally faced her brother in shock. “You killed them? Why?”
“Because if I hadn’t, they would have killed her.”
Sally was confused. “But she’s a Minervan!” she finally exclaimed.
“Sal, she saved my life,” Andy said.
“Twice,” Aurora added.
Andy nodded acknowledgement. “OK, twice, if you count what hap-
pened during the battle.”
‘Three times,” Aurora said, “if you include the incident on the space
transport.”
“Doesn’t count,” quipped Andy. “Your own life was equally at risk.” Aurora frowned a little and folded her arms as if upset about not getting adequate credit. “Very well. Twice.”
Sally looked at the Minervan. “So, who is doing all the killing coast
to coast? I know it’s not you, because you’ve been here.”
“I have no idea,” Aurora said.
“It’s probably just ordinary murders that have been linked together by
press hysteria,” Andyadded.
Sally nodded. That explanation made sense.
Aurora said, “So Sally,how did you find me out?”
“Olekildi. Aladapa Minu,” Sally said.
Both Aurora and Andy did double takes.
“You were talking in your sleep,” Sally explained. “But that wasonly
a clue. The thing that gave you away was your choice of favorite childhoodbook.”
“The Gulag Archipelago was not a reasonable selection?” Aurora
asked.
“The Gulag Archipelago?” Andy sputtered. “That’s an absurd choice.
What made you come up with that?”
“I thought it, so she said it,” Sally said smugly.
Andy turned to Aurora. “Hey, you promised me no mind reading of
my friends and family.”
Aurora looked defensive. “I didn’t enter her outer mind. If I ha
d, she
wouldn’t have been able to fool me. She projected the title. I thought it
was just mental leakage.”
Sally snickered. “And you fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.” Aurora smiled. “You are a very remarkable Earthling, Sally.” That got Sally mad. “Earthling! Is that what you call us?” Aurora looked puzzled. “What else should I call you? Isn’t that what
you are?”
Sally said, “Yes, I suppose. But it seems so demeaning. It has a negative connotation, like we’re primitive beings from some little hickworld
in the Podunk part of thegalaxy.”
Aurora looked Sally in the eye.“Sally, the word‘Earthling’will mean
whatever Earthlings make itmean.”
They spent the most of rest of the day by the side of the pond. Sally listened wide-eyed as Andy and Aurora told her the tale of all of their fantastic adventures.
On their way back through town, they passed a telephone pole on which was stapled an advertisement for the Peekskill Community Theater’s upcoming performance of “The Merchant of Venice.”
Aurora looked at the poster, fascinated. “Is that a picture of Shakespeare?” she asked.
“Yes,” Andy replied. “Although I can’t vouch for its accuracy.”
“And I take it from this placard that there is to be a public reading of his poems, by professional poem readers?”
“It’ll be a performance of one of his plays, by talented amateurs,” Andy said.
“Very talented amateurs,” Sally corrected. “I’m in it.”
“Really?” said Andy. “Why didn’t you tell us before?”
Sally shrugged. “It’s just a bit part. But I’m also Portia’s understudy. So if Anna-Marie ever gets sickthey’ll see some real drama in thistown.” She held out her right arm and proclaimed theatrically, “The quality of mercy is notstrained!”
Aurora’s eyes brightened. “Is that poem part of this play?”
Sally nodded. “Yes. It’s one of the most famous parts.”
“When is the performance?”
“It opens tomorrow night.”
“We must see it,” Aurora said.
“By all means,” Andy replied.
Sally smiled. It was about time someone saw that there was more to Earth than planet assassins and Inca artifacts.
The performance proved to be an amazing experience.
Aurora sat in the audience with Hamilton on one side, and his parents on the other. The auditorium of a building she was told was ordinarily used as a school for Sally and other adolescents was filled with Earthlings. They were friends and neighbors of the Hamiltons, and most
of them seemed well acquainted with the play. As the show went on,
Aurora was able not only to enjoy the fine poetry pronounced by the actors, but also got some remarkable scientific work done exploring the interaction of the poetry with the outer minds of much of the audience. While none of them evinced anything like the conceptual abilities required to write such a play, many of them were able to resonate with it. It was incredible, but the data was irrefutable. Under powerful and accurate stimulation in controlled conditions, significant numbers of ordinary Earthlings were able to think like actual humans. However, as soon as the performance ended, their enhanced powers of mentation rapidly began to dissipate.
There was no doubt that Shakespeare had been a human. A truly radical interpretation would be that he was a human Earthling. Aurora was not willing to go that far.Despite the Earthling’s uncritical belief that the poet was one of them, a far more likely explanation that he was a stranded Minervan, or perhaps a Weegee or Norc. Nevertheless, the fact that they were able to embrace him proved that beneath their general insanity, large numbers of Earthlings harbored significant human impulses.
Could anything be done to elicit these impulses further? It was certainly food for thought. Perhaps when she returned to New Minervapolis, the wise women of the Minervan High Council could develop a plan.
If she could ever get back. And if she could convince them to try.
Chapter 30
The news of the disasters reached the Princess’ court at Cepheus late in the afternoon. Five more heavily populated planets had been annihilated.
The Princess called a council of all of her top advisors to determine an appropriate response.
“The Earthlings are behind these atrocities, there is no doubt about it,” Admiral Phillipus said. “We must deal with those tribes responsible harshly, and with finality. The safety of the Empire’s subjects demands nothing less.”
“It demands somewhat more,” said Department of Public Safety Director Baranus. “We should pico-atomize their planet immediately and without warning and be done with the lot.”
“But what of the Minervans,” Commander Danatus said. “We are sworn to protect them. Surprise planetary pico-atomization would kill them all.”
“That’s irrelevant at this point,” replied Baranus. “Three hundredbillion more of Her Divine Majesty’s subjects have been obliterated. Trillions more are at risk. Next to that the lives of a mere million Minervans matter not at all.”
“But the word of my grandmother does,” said the Princess.
Kalia said,“We could evacuate the Minervans first, and then blast the planet. But that would leave the Minervans without their promised homeland. However, if so ordered, the fleet can be selective in its targeting, as we were lasttime.”
“And achieve the same results you did last time,” said Baranus. “Eliminating an Earthling despotism or two is clearly insufficient. Planetary annihilation is the only safe answer.”
Frondrippus said, “Your Divine Majesty to Be, this is insanity. For
once I find myself in agreement with the Navy representatives. We must be selective in our action. Destroying the Earth would destroy the largest helicity reserves in the galaxy.”
“And enrage the governments of the other Southern Sector planets that hold most of the rest,” Junea added, “thereby perpetuating or even expanding the helicity embargo that is wrecking the galactic economy and turning our closest allies against us.”
“Even so,” said Baranus, “if that is what we must endure to protect our Empire against further planet assassinations, than that is the reality we must face.”
“But it is not,” Junea said. “There is a better way.”
“Do you have an alternative plan to recommend, Reverend Ambassador?” the Princess said. “If so, please explain it. This court has no time for riddles.”
“Divine Majesty to Be,” Junea began. “DPS Director Baranus is obviously correct in his assessment that the Navy’s plan of targeted retaliation is insufficient. We must have a more definitive and permanent solution to the Earthling problem. Planetary annihilation would serve to meet his objectives, but would destroy the galactic economy, betray the Empress’s commitment to the Minervans, alienate our allies, and cause the death of Urania and the loss of the galaxy’s storehouse of precious Incaartifacts.”
“All true,” the Princess said. “So what is your answer?”
“The solution, Divine Majesty to Be, is to make an agreement through which we recruit some of the savages to enforce peaceful behavior on the others.”
“How can this be done?” the Princess asked.
“By combining the two fundamental tools of diplomacy, helicannon and sweetraffa, to enlist the active aid of the most powerful and most moderate of all the Earthling despotisms, the United States of America. You will recall the USA was our ally in the fight against the Peruvian planet assassins, providing us with the locations of all the assassin camps. Now we need to employ the combination of helicannon and sweetraffa to coerce the Americans to become our enforcers against all the more radicalEarthlings.”
Junea continued. “The helicannon in this case is Admiral Phillipus’s fleet, through which we threaten devastating action unless they agree to our terms. The sweetraffa is some minor concession we have the Minervans throw them, s
o the American tribal despot can pretend to his subjects that he has obtained a victory. This will strengthen his hand internally, and by thus stabilizing his despotism, we will make it a more pow
erful enforcer against the other Earthlings.”
“What minor Minervan concession did you have in mind?” the
Princess asked.
“Only this,” Junea answered. “That they give back a portion of the
land they have occupied to give the displaced Earthlings of Kennewick an
independent state of their own. This would pose no threat to the
Minervans. After all, the entire United States of America was unable to
defeat them militarily; an independent Kennewickian micro-despotism
would be much less capable. Yet it would meet the needs of the American
tribal despot, since it would secure some measure of justice for the
oppressed Kennewickians, who are after all, his former subjects. In return
for this trivial boon, the American leader would mobilize his Army to
overrun and exterminate the neighboring despotism of Mexico, which, as
Commercial Consul’s Fedris’ capable intelligence staff has just briefed
us, was the country of origin of this most recent group of planet assassins.”
“Even using primitive native technology, the Americans are the most
powerful of all the Earthling despotisms. If we gave them a small amount
of our most obsolete equipment, they would be invincible in battle against
all other Earthlings.Then we would give them carte-blanch to invade and
exterminate any other Earthling tribe that committed planet assassination.
Peaceful and friendly relations between Earth and the civilized galaxy
would thus be restored, and because local rule remained in indigenous
hands, the other Southern Sector tyrants would approve of the arrangement as well. Helicity prices would be returned to normal, galactic trade
would be restored, our allies would be grateful, and Urania and the Inca
artifacts would besaved.”
The Princess said, “that certainly would be a preferable outcome to
The Holy Land: Fanatical Earthling planet assassins are spreading chaos through the galaxy. Is there any nice way to stop them? Page 28
