by Jun, Kristi
Emily noticed Johnathan had changed in the short time they’d been apart. She had been so happy to see him when Harris took her captive, she nearly jumped in his arms, but his expression told her that wasn’t a good idea.
In fact, he remained distant and quiet during their entire journey back to Kemp Manor. And he chose to sit outside with the driver after he bound Mr. Harris to the roof of the carriage.
When she attempted to speak with him, he addressed her as “my lady,” which sounded odd and distant, but she got the message. And she foolishly thought he had come to rescue her, but indeed he had come to arrest Harris.
What was she thinking? Her brother had humiliated him, and he had the right to be angry. At least she wanted to apologize and make amends so they could part with good wishes. But he didn’t give her a chance, and she didn’t fault him. She swallowed the tears and held herself together. She would accept her future and make the best of it.
“My lady,” Anderson announced. “His grace asks for your presence.”
She looked in the direction of Anderson, her brother’s personal valet. She placed the needlework back and followed the valet to her brother’s bedchamber. With everything that had happened today, she was surprised he was still up and wanted her company. She walked to her brother’s bed and sat next to him. The doctor was with him too.
She kissed her brother on the cheek and smiled at him. “Are you in much pain, brother?”
Her brother swallowed hard and nodded. His cheeks were sunken and his eyes were as black as the night. If only he could take in some food, but he was unable.
“May I speak with you, Lady Wentworth?”
Quietly, she followed the doctor outside and faced him. “What is it?”
“Your brother . . . I fear his health has declined much sooner than I had predicted.”
Tears brimmed again. She feared what the doctor might tell her, and in truth, she didn’t want to know. “Oh,” was all she could get out.
“According to his valet, he hasn’t eaten in days. I believe he is nearing his end soon.”
“He seemed strong this morning,” she said.
“This virus is unpredictable,” the doctor informed her. “The best we can do is make him comfortable. Call on me as soon as his condition changes.”
“Oh, please . . . is there anything else we can do for him? Anything?” When the doctor shook his head apologetically, she added, “I just . . . he seems to be so much pain.”
“I am very sorry, my lady.”
She wiped the tears away and thanked him.
“Call on me anytime, night or day, my lady, if he needs me.”
“I will,” she said. “Thank you.” When the doctor left her, she returned to the bedchamber where her brother was waiting for her. She pulled the blanket up to his neck and sat next to him again. “Tell me what you need. Anything you need.”
He took in a long, strained breath. “I don’t need anything, Em,” he said.
She took a wet cloth by his bed and moistened his dry lips. “I am so sorry for everything I put you through,” she confessed to him.
“You have nothing be guilty of,” he insisted. His voice was faint and winded. “It is I who have wronged you.”
“You have done nothing but be here for me, to protect me. You are a good brother.”
“I’m trying,” he said, but stopped to swallow as if it was very difficult to talk and breathe. The doctor had insisted she procure clean water to give to her brother, as this may help soothe his dry mouth and lips. She picked up the cup, dipped the clean cloth in the water, and moistened his mouth again.
Her brother took several breaths before he spoke. “I have injured your heart, Em.”
“Please, don’t think of that now.”
“I feel I don’t have much time,” he confessed. “So I must say this now.”
With mixed emotions, she held her breath in anticipation of what he was about to tell her.
“My ego . . . my pride has blinded me. I failed to see what was clear to me.” His words were slow, as if it were almost painful to speak. “Johnathan is . . . a good man.”
“He is, isn’t he?”
The Duke of Kemp nodded with a smile. “He proved that he is worthy of you. I promised our parents that I’d take care of you, but I was blind.”
Her heart swelled with emotions. It was clear to her that her brother was trying to right the wrong, but she knew in her heart that whatever she had with Johnathan would forever be just a memory.
“Johnathan Hawk is a suitable man for you.” He paused again. “To think that Foley could protect you . . . I see now that was a mistake.”
None of that mattered right now because she was going to lose her brother. “You were only trying to protect me,” she said. “For that I am forever thankful.”
“Go to him, Em,” he struggled to say.
“I am not leaving your side.” She shook her head, recalling what the doctor had said to her in confidence. “And there is nothing you can say to convince me otherwise.”
He touched her cheek. “You look so much like Mother.”
Emily nodded, tears forming again.
“I think she’d be very proud of you if she were here right now.”
“Please, brother, rest.”
“If I have failed you in any way, you will forgive me, won’t you?”
Hot tears brimmed again, but she refused to cry in front of her brother. She needed to be strong. “You have never failed me.”
“My time is near, Em,” he said
She shook her head. “Don’t say that.”
“I am not afraid,” he said with strained breaths. “Do you see my chest there?” He motioned to the dresser on the far side of the room next to a tall vase. “In the bottom drawer there is a box, an antique blue box. Mama wanted you to have it on your wedding day. It belonged to our mother. There is a copy of my will in the drawer and the details of your inheritance. I approve whomever you wish to marry, Em. The inheritance is yours. I have already informed my solicitor regarding this, and he will advise you accordingly if you wish it.”
“Oh, Adam, I wish we didn’t have to discuss this.”
“We must.”
Before the doctor left, he administered some serum that was supposed to assist Adam with pain, but it often left him in stupor. The soup the cook had made specially for her brother was left untouched, and according to Anderson, her brother had vomited most of it when he did attempt to take in food.
She sat next to him until he closed his eyes, exhausted and in pain. So much pain and there was nothing she could do to stop it. If she could do anything to ease it, she would do it without question.
“My lady?” Anderson whispered through the cracked door of her brother’s bedchamber.
She quietly stood and walked out of her brother’s bedchamber. “What is it?”
“There is Mrs. Henrietta Deveraux here who wishes to speak with the duke.”
“What does she want?”
“She won’t say, my lady. I have informed her his grace isn’t available, but she insisted on speaking with you. She’s traveled a long way.”
“Me?” she said, confused. Hmm . . . who could she be? “I will see to it.”
“She is waiting in the parlor downstairs,” he said. “If I may presume to give my opinion, I think you should see her.”
Curious, she asked Anderson to remain with her brother, and she proceeded to walked downstairs to the parlor where the mystery woman was waiting. When she entered, she saw a modestly dressed woman in her late twenties . . . maybe thirty? Her bonnet was neatly placed on her lap. As soon as their eyes locked, she noticed her large brown eyes. There was kindness there.
The woman abruptly stood at Emily’s presence and curtsied.
“You seek an audience with my brother?”
“I do.”
“May I ask why?”
“It’s a delicate matter, my lady.”
“Unless this is a pressing issue, I will have to ask you to come back another time.”
“It is very pressing,” the woman said. “Please, may I speak with him? It won’t take much of his time.”
The woman looked familiar, but she couldn’t place her. “How are you acquainted with my brother?”
“We were introduced a long time ago, my lady. I would venture to say that we were friends once.”
“Friends?” she said, watching her woman nod. “I am afraid my brother is not well. I’d like to help you, but without further details, I don’t know what else I can do for you.”
There was silence, and a look of concern etched her face. Dipping her hand into her reticule, she pulled out a thick white envelope. “His grace posted this,” she said. “I am returning it.”
“May I?” When the guest agreed, Emily opened the flat of the envelope and saw the thick stack of bank notes. There was a letter in there, too, and it was indeed written in her brother’s script. The top of the letter had his official emblem. He addressed the letter to her and started by apologizing for his ignorance and asking for her forgiveness. Apparently, they’d been in love once, but to their determent, they had to go their separate ways. It didn’t go into detail about what had transpired. He seemed to think he had ruined her life somehow, promising what he could not deliver, and for that he sought reparation.
“What is this?” Emily asked about the pile of bank notes.
“It’s the money your brother gifted to me,” she started. “Before you say anything, I wish to let him know that this”—she pointed to the bank notes—“isn’t necessary. I loved him deeply once, and I rather like to believe that his feelings for me were genuine. He did not ruin my life as he seems to believe.”
Her brother had once been married, but his wife passed from consumption several years ago, and he had never mentioned anyone else as far as she could recall. And if he had, she would remember this. “Were you his mistresses?”
She shook her head. “Mistress? No, we were very young, foolish, and . . . in love.”
“And he promised marriage,” Emily concluded.
“His parents did not approve, and he was sent away to the Continent for several years. He returned when his parents fell ill, and by then, I had already agreed to marry another man. He never attempted to contact me, nor I him.”
“My brother married as well, but unfortunately they were not blessed with children, as she suffered from consumption. She passed several years ago.” Emily paused. How could she allow this woman to leave without at least informing her brother of her presence?
“Wait here, please.” Emily set to upstairs. She had hoped he was awake and had some strength in him, but he was resting and she didn’t have the heart to wake him. She instructed the maid to ready the guest room and went back downstairs where Mrs. Deveraux was waiting for her. Mrs. Henrietta Deveraux had once loved her brother and cared enough to return his money. If she could, she wanted them to find some resolution before it was too late.
“My brother is very ill,” she said, lowering her eyes, fearing that she may cry once again. “He is dying,” she said with a sense of finality.
Mrs. Deveraux’s face softened. “Dying?” she barely let out. “I am so sorry. You must be devastated.”
“I cannot express how difficult this is for everyone, especially my brother.” She wanted to say more, but she had to stop herself if she didn’t want to fall apart in front of Mrs. Devereaux.
“Had I known, I would have never intruded on your family at this delicate time.”
“Please, don’t feel that way. You did not know he was ill.” Emily knew Mrs. Deveraux could have easily mailed the missive and the bank notes without the long journey here, but she did and wanted to help somehow. “My brother may not want to see you.”
“I understand.”
“Stay the night with us,” Emily finally said. “You have traveled all this way. If my brother is well enough tomorrow, perhaps he may see you.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You are not intruding. In fact, I would love some company,” she said, lowering her gaze to the letter Mrs. Deveraux was still holding. “May I see the letter again?”
When she handed it to her, Emily read the paragraph that most touched her again:
In Rumi’s words, my heart is revealed to you: ‘Some call you love, I call you King of Love. You are beyond all imaginings, taking me places I can’t even dream of. Oh Ruler of my Heart, wherever you go . . . Don’t go without me.’ I have never stopped loving you. If you have felt anything for me in the past, please accept this gift.
Forever yours,
Adam W.
How could she allow this woman to leave without a chance to see her brother? After all, it may be their only chance to say what was in their hearts. They let the time pass, and Mrs. Deveraux shared intimate knowledge of her brother, a side of him Emily never knew existed. She drank up the information and they laughed together as if they had known each other for many years. Indeed, she liked this woman very much and wished they had more time together. Speaking with her made Emily miss Johnathan, and she wondered if he would remember her in the years to come. She knew in her heart she would never forget him. How could she when her heart forever belonged to him?
After several hours and tea, Emily went back upstairs to check up on her brother. Thankfully, he was awake and giving instructions to Mr. Anderson. Once the valet went to carry out his orders, she sat next to her brother.
“How are you feeling?”
“The pain has subsided a little,” he replied, trying to sit up on his bed.
She always could tell when he was lying. “I have some news.”
“Do I want to hear this?”
She nodded. Her brother gave her a curious look, but he didn’t stop her. “There is someone here to see you.”
“I don’t want any callers, you know this.”
Her brother had given firm instructions that except for his solicitor and physician, he would not take visitors. “She is someone you know . . . someone from your past.” His expression changed and she could tell he was curious. “I will ask her to leave, if you wish it,” she said. “But I think you should speak with her.”
The duke kept silent for a long moment, and she feared he was going to ask her guest to leave. Knowing she must abide by her brother’s wishes, she prayed for a favorable outcome.
Just when she was about to give up, he said, “We said everything we need to say to each other, didn’t we?”
Emily was utterly lost as to what her brother was saying. “What do you mean?”
“Have I been a good brother to you?”
She nodded and smiled. “You are a wonderful brother, Adam.” She could not imagine a life without her brother. He smiled and nodded. “Why are you asking this?”
He patted her hand but didn’t reply. Instead, he asked her to open the window, and she released his hand and walked over to pull the heavy drapes aside. The sun shone and the birds chirped, and her brother shaded his eyes from the bright sunlight that streamed into his room. He looked even more frail in this light, and her heart twisted in pain. She moved to close the drapes, but her brother stopped her.
“Leave it,” he said. “Tell Mrs. Deveraux I will see her, little one.”
He hadn’t call her “little one” since she was ten. A swell of emotions filled her heart. “I will bring her in.”
“Em,” he said stopping her. “I have made peace with my life, and now you must make peace with yours and live your life. Go to him. It was foolish for me to force you to marry Foley. He doesn’t deserve you. Go to him.”
She shook her head. “No, my place is here.”
Emily called for the valet to bring the caller to them. Several minutes later, Mrs. Deveraux arrived and reluctantly entered his bedchamber. Her caring brown eyes grew teary and her lips quivered, and the intimacy between them was palpable to witness. If only they had more time. She quickly removed herself to give them some privacy, but she didn’t go far as she listened on . . .
“Your Grace,” Mrs. Deveraux said.
“There will be no ceremony here,” he said. “Come sit by me.”
“Oh, Adam,” Mrs. Devereaux said. “Why did you not come to me sooner?”
“I wasn’t certain you wanted to see me again.”
There was a moment of silence between them, then she heard Mrs. Deveraux’s voice again. “I love you. I never stopped loving you.”
Emily slowly walked down the hall to her own bedchamber, giving them the privacy they needed. In the midst of sadness, there was some hope in their encounter, however brief. This made her think of Johnathan. Would she still love him when she was old and gray? Would she regret her decision to remain here and let him go?
Their guest spent the remaining weeks of Adam’s life by his side. At times, it was very painful for Emily to witness her brother’s life giving away, but Mrs. Deveraux had been with them and was very gentle, loving, and most of all, there by his side through it all. Together, they watched and celebrated his life.
Emily wondered what their lives would have been like if only they had followed their hearts. To take the chance of love. A risk, but isn’t love a risk worth taking? After watching her brother and the love of his life so much in love in the winter of his life, she knew that there could be no life for her without love.
Chapter 26
Boston
Two Months Later
Johnathan sighed in relief as he pulled off his brimmed hat and ran his fingers through his hair.
The U.S. Marshal’s office had given him another assignment to hunt down a fugitive who had attempted to kill a distinguished family member in Boston, a close friend of the president.
