by Sara Clancy
“How does it not bother you?”
“Because it’s not the first time it’s happened.”
She jolted. “Say again.”
Benton heaved another sigh as struggled to sit up. The wound might have healed, but it still hurt like hell.
“You’ve read my files, right?”
Nicole nodded.
“So you know about that night.” Licking his lips, he forced himself to continue. “When I was ten.”
“Your friends betrayed you,” she said meekly.
Beat me. Left me to bleed to death in a back alley. He shoved down all the emotions that threatened to choke him.
“I think I died a little in that alley.”
“Of course.”
“No, I mean actually died. Or came pretty close to it. I didn’t know it at the time, but that’s when I first saw death.” He pulled his hands through his hair and hunched forward. “It didn’t look like they do now, so I just thought that my brain was playing tricks on me. It had a few shards of bone embedded in it at the time.”
His joke fell flat.
“What did it look like?”
Benton smile despite himself. “My mom.” A sharp cough forced away the tears that threatened to fall. “Who knows? Maybe that’s why things are so tense with her. That the last time I remember her being paternal and it wasn’t even her. You know what? I don’t want to talk about this today. Some other time maybe?”
Looking at her, Benton found she was close to tears. “Hey, it’s okay,” he assured.
“I’m a horrible person,” Nicole blurted.
“No, you’re not.”
Now that she had started her confession, there was nothing to keep back the rest. “I haven’t told mom about what happened on the highway. Either time.”
I have. Benton knew better than to speak it aloud. With everything that had happened, he had agreed to giving Nicole a two-week extension on the deadline. The constable still had three days before her deadline.
“That doesn’t make you horrible,” Benton assured.
Nicole lifted her chin even as tears dripped down. “I haven’t told her because I couldn’t stand for her to know.”
“It was self-defense.”
“I don’t feel guilty,” she said in a rush. The words seemed to physically hurt her. “I put a bullet between his eyes. I killed a human being. And I haven’t experienced a second of guilt.” She wiped away her tears and tried to gather herself. “I always thought I didn’t feel bad after killing the monsters because they’re monsters. But now ... I’m a psychopath.”
Benton barked a laugh. “You are the furthest thing from a psychopath. Trust me, I have some experience in the matter.”
“Don’t you hate me?”
“Why would I?”
“Because I’m just like the people you dream about,” she spouted.
“You obviously haven’t been paying attention.”
“And you’re not listening to me. I murdered someone and slept like a baby. I felt righteous. I–”
“You saved my life,” Benton said. “And right now, I’m feeling relieved.”
“Relieved?”
He shrugged. “You worry that Zack and the twins can’t take all of this. I don’t need them around. I just need you. And, ever since the highway, I’ve been living with this fear that I’d have to let you go. That it was unfair for me to put you through all this just because I want some company.” Another bubble of uncalled-for laughter slipped out of his mouth. “This is actually a huge relief for me. So, if you’re trying to take my crown for ‘biggest jackass’, you’re going to have to up your game.”
Nicole smacked into him, the sudden addition of her weight toppling them both over. Still, she didn’t release him from her crushing hug for a long time. He endured, patting her back in a way he hoped was reassuring.
“You’re okay, Nic. You’re a good person,” he repeated at random.
Finally, she sniffed and replied, “But we can’t tell mom,” she insisted. “She won’t understand.”
Benton cringed, squeezing his eyes shut as he anticipated the sheer amount of screaming and vengeance two enraged Rider woman could bring upon him.
“Yeah,” he said, resigned to his fate. “About that...”
* * *
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