by Alan Bradley
"And hadn't I been present when both of the stamps were stolen? The devil even hinted that he may have already—may have, mind!—planted the Ulster Avengers somewhere in my collections.
"After our quarrel, I was too upset to go to bed. When Bony had gone, I paced up and down in my study for hours, agonizing, going over and over the situation in my mind. I had always felt responsible in part for Mr. Twining's death. It's a terrible thing to admit, but it's true. It was my silence that led directly to that dear old man's suicide. If only I'd had the intestinal fortitude, as a schoolboy, to voice my suspicions, Bonepenny and Stanley should never have gotten away with it and Mr. Twining would not have been driven to take his own life. You see, Flavia, silence is sometimes the most costly of commodities.
"After a very long time and a great deal of thought, I decided—against everything I believe in—to give in to his blackmail. I would sell my collections, everything I owned, to buy his silence, and I must tell you, Flavia, that I am more ashamed of that decision than anything I have ever done in my life. Anything."
I wish I had known the right thing to say, but for once my tongue failed me, and I sat there like a mop, not able, even, to look my father in the face.
"Sometime in the small hours—it must have been four o'clock, perhaps, since it was already becoming light outside—I turned out the lamp, with the full intention of walking into the village, rousing Bonepenny from his room at the inn, and agreeing to his demands.
"But something stopped me. I can't explain it, but it's true. I stepped out onto the terrace, but rather than going round to the front of the house to the drive as I had determined to do, I found myself being drawn like a magnet to the coach house."
So! I thought. It wasn't Father who had gone out through the kitchen door. He had walked from the terrace outside his study, along the outside of the garden wall to the coach house. He had not set foot in the garden. He had not walked past the dying Horace Bonepenny.
"I needed to think," Father went on, "but I couldn't seem to bring my mind into proper focus."
"And you got into Harriet's Rolls," I blurted. Some times I could shoot myself.
Father stared at me with the sad kind of look the worm must give the early bird the instant before its beak snaps shut.
"Yes," he said softly. "I was tired. The last thing I remember thinking was that once Bony and Bob Stanley found I was a bankrupt, they'd give up the game for someone more promising. Not that I would ever wish this predicament on another.
"And then I must have fallen asleep. I don't know. It doesn't really matter. I was still there when the police found me."
"A bankrupt?" I said, astonished. I couldn't help myself. "But, Father, you have Buckshaw."
Father looked at me, his eyes moist: eyes that I had never before seen looking out of his face.
"Buckshaw belonged to Harriet, you see, and when she died, she died intestate. She didn't leave a will. The death duties—well, the death duties shall most likely consume us."
"But Buckshaw is yours!" I said. "It's been in the family for centuries."
"No," Father said sadly. "It is not mine, not mine at all. You see, Harriet was a de Luce before I married her. She was my third cousin. Buckshaw was hers. I have nothing left to invest in the place, not a sou. I am, as I have said, a virtual bankrupt.”
There was a metallic tapping at the door and Inspector Hewitt stepped into the room.
"I'm sorry, Colonel de Luce," he said. "The Chief Constable, as you are undoubtedly aware, is most particular that the very shadow of the law be observed. I've allowed you as much time as I can and still escape with my skin."
Father nodded sadly.
"Come along, Flavia," the Inspector said to me. "I'll take you home."
"I can't go home yet," I said. "Someone's pinched my bicycle. I'd like to file a complaint."
"Your bicycle is in the backseat of my car."
"You've found it already?" I asked. Hallelujah! Gladys was safe and sound!
"It was never missing," he said. "I saw you park it out front and had Constable Glossop put it away for safe keeping."
"So that I couldn't escape?"
Father lifted an eyebrow at this impertinence, but said nothing.
"In part, yes," Inspector Hewitt said, "but largely because it's still raining buckets outside and it's a long old pedal uphill to Buckshaw."
I gave Father a silent hug to which, although he remained rigid as an oak, he did not seem to object.
"Try to be a good girl, Flavia," he said.
Try to be a good girl? Was that all he could think of? It was evident that our submarine had surfaced, its occupants hauled up from the vasty deeps and all the magic left below.
"I'll do my best," I said, turning away. "I'll do my very best."
"YOU MUSTN'T BE TOO HARD on your father, you know,” Inspector Hewitt said as he slowed to negotiate the turn at the fingerpost which pointed to Bishop's Lacey. I glanced at him, his face lit from below by the soft glow of the Vauxhall's instrument panel. The windscreen wipers, like black scythes, swashed back and forth across the glass in the strange light of the storm.
"Do you honestly believe he murdered Horace Bonepenny?" I asked.
His reply was ages in coming, and when it did, it was burdened with a heavy sadness.
"Who else was there, Flavia?” he said.
"Me," I said, ". for instance."
Inspector Hewitt flicked on the defroster to evaporate the condensation our words were forming on the windscreen.
"You don't expect me to believe that story about the struggle and the dicky heart, do you? Because I don't. That isn't what killed Horace Bonepenny."
"It was the pie, then!" I blurted out with sudden inspiration. "He was poisoned by the pie!"
"Did you poison the pie?" he asked, almost grinning.
"No," I admitted. "But I wish I had."
"It was quite an ordinary pie," the Inspector said. "I've already had the analyst's report."
Quite an ordinary pie? This was the highest praise Mrs. Mullet's confections were ever likely to receive.
"As you've deduced," he went on, "Bonepenny did indeed indulge in a slice of pie several hours before his death. But how could you know that?"
"Who but a stranger would eat the stuff?" I asked, with just enough of a scoff in my voice to mask the sudden realization that I had made a mistake: Bonepenny hadn't been poisoned by Mrs. Mullet's pie after all. It was childish to have pretended that he had.
"I'm sorry I said that," I told him. "It just popped out. You must think me a complete bloody fool."
Inspector Hewitt didn't reply for far too long. At last he said:
"'Unless some sweetness at the bottom lie,
Who cares for all the crinkling of the pie?’
"My grandmother used to say that," he added. "What does it mean?" I asked.
"It means—well, here we are at Buckshaw. They're probably worried about you."
"OH,” said Ophelia in her careless voice. “Have you been gone? We hadn't noticed, had we, Daff?”
Daffy was showing the prominent equine whites of her eyes. She was definitely spooked but trying not to let on.
"No," she muttered, and plunged back into Bleak House. Daffy was, if nothing else, a rapid reader.
Had they asked, I should have told them gladly about my visit with Father, but they did not. If there was to be any grieving for his predicament, I was not to be a part of it; that much was clear. Feely and Daffy and I were like three grubs in three distinct cocoons, and sometimes I wondered why. Charles Darwin had once pointed out that the fiercest competition for survival came from one's own tribe, and as the fifth of six children—and with three older sisters—he was obviously in a position to know what he was talking about.
To me it seemed a matter of elementary chemistry: I knew that a substance tends to be dissolved by solvents that are chemically similar to it. There was no rational explanation for this; it was simply the way of Nature.
> It had been a long day, and my eyelids felt as if they'd been used for oyster rakes.
"I think I'll go to bed," I said. "G'night, Feely. G'night, Daffy."
My attempt at sociability was greeted with silence and a grunt. As I was making my way up the stairs, Dogger materialized suddenly above me on the landing with a candleholder that might have been snapped up at an estate sale at Manderley.
"Colonel de Luce?" he whispered.
"He is well, Dogger," I said.
Dogger nodded a troubled nod, and we each of us trudged off to our respective quarters.
eighteen
GREYMINSTER SCHOOL LAY DOZING IN THE SUN, AS if it were dreaming of past glories. The place was precisely as I had imagined it: magnificent old stone buildings, tidy green lawns running down to the lazy river, and vast, empty playing fields that seemed to give off silent echoes of cricket matches whose players were long dead.
I leaned Gladys against a tree in the side lane by which I had entered the grounds. Behind a hedgerow, a tractor stood ticking idly, its driver nowhere in sight.
The voices of choirboys came floating across the lawns from the chapel. In spite of the bright morning sunshine, they were singing:
"Softly now the light of day
Fades upon my sight away—”
I stood listening for a moment until suddenly they broke off. Then, after a pause, the organ started up again, peevishly, and the singers went back to the beginning.
As I walked slowly across the grass of what I'm sure Father would have called “the Quad,” the tall blank windows of the school stared down at me coldly and I had the sudden queer feeling an insect must have when it's placed under a microscope—the feeling of an invisible lens hovering, and something strange, perhaps, about the light.
Except for a single schoolboy dashing along and two black-gowned masters walking and talking with their heads together, the broad lawns and winding walkways of Greyminster were empty beneath a sky of deepest blue. The whole place seemed slightly unreal, like a grossly enlarged Agfacolor print: something you might see in one of those books with a name such as Picturesque Britain.
That limestone pile on the east side of the Quad—the one with the clock tower—must be Anson House, I thought: Father's old digs.
As I approached it, I raised my hand to shield my eyes against the glare of the sky. It was from somewhere up there among the battlements and tiles that Mr. Twining had plummeted to his death on the cobbles below; those ancient cobbles which now lay no more than a hundred feet from where I was standing.
I strolled across the grass to have a look.
Disappointingly, there were no bloodstains. Of course there wouldn't be, not after all these years. Those would have been washed away as soon as was decently possible—quite likely even before Mr. Twining's broken body had been laid to whatever passed for rest.
Other than of their constant wearing down by two hundred years of privileged feet, these cobbles told no tales. Tucked tightly in along the stone walls of Anson House, the walk was scarcely six feet wide.
I threw back my head and gazed straight up at the tower. Viewed from this angle, it rose dizzily in a sheer wall of stone that ended far, far above me in a filigree of airy ornamental stonework where fat white clouds, drifting lazily past the parapets, created the peculiar sensation that the whole structure was leaning… falling… toppling towards me. The illusion made my stomach go all queasy, and I had to look away.
Worn stone steps led enticingly from the cobbled walk, through an arched entrance, to a double door. To my left was the porter's lodge, its occupant huddled over a telephone. He did not even look up as I slipped inside.
A cool, dim corridor stretched away in front of me, to infinity it seemed, and I set out along it, lifting my feet carefully to keep from making scuffing noises on the slate floor.
On either side, a long gallery of smiling faces—some of them schoolboys and some masters—receded into the darkness, each one a Greyminsterian who had given his life for his country, and each in his own black-lacquered frame: “That Others Might Live,” it said on a gilded scroll. At the end of the corridor, set apart from the others, were photographs of three boys, their names engraved in red on little brass rectangles. Under each name were the words Missing in Action.
"Missing in Action?" Why wasn't Father's photo hanging there? I wondered.
Father was generally as absent as these young men whose bones were somewhere in France. I felt a little guilty at the thought, but it was true.
I think it was at that moment, there in the shadowy hall at Greyminster, that I began to realize the full extent of Father's distant nature. Yesterday I had been all too ready to throw my arms around him and hug him to jelly, but now I understood that yesterday's cozy prison scene had not been a dialogue, but a troubled monologue. It had not been me, but Harriet to whom he was speaking. And, as with the dying Horace Bonepenny, I had been no more than an unwitting confessor.
Now, just being here at Greyminster where Father's troubles had begun, it seemed all the more cold and remote and inhospitable a place.
In the gloom beyond the photos, a staircase led up to the first floor, and I climbed up it to a hallway which, like the one I had left below, also ran the length of the building. Although the doors on either side were closed, each one was fitted with a small pane of glass, which allowed me a peek into the room. They were classrooms, and all alike.
At the end of the corridor, a large corner room promised something more: A sign on its door read Chemistry Lab.
I tried the door and it opened at once. The curse was broken!
I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting this: stained wooden tables, boring flasks, cloudy retorts, chipped test tubes, inferior Bunsen burners, and a colored wall chart of the elements containing a laughable printing error in which the positions of arsenic and selenium were interchanged. I spotted this at once and—with a nub of blue chalk from the ledge beneath the blackboard—took the liberty of correcting the mistake by drawing in a two-headed arrow. “WRONG!” I wrote beneath it, and underlined the word twice.
This so-called lab was nothing compared with my own at Buckshaw, and at the thought, my chest swelled with pride. I wanted nothing more than to bolt for home at once, just to be there, to touch my own gleaming glassware; to concoct the perfect poison just for the thrill of it.
But that pleasure would have to wait. There was work to be done.
BACK OUTSIDE IN THE CORRIDOR, I retraced my steps to the center of the building. If I had guessed accurately, I should now be directly under the tower, and the entrance to it could not be far away.
A small door in the paneling, which I had taken at first to be a broom closet, swung open to reveal a steep stone staircase. My heart skipped a beat.
And then I saw the sign. A few steps up from the bottom, a length of chain was draped across the steps, with a hand-printed card: Tower Off Limits—Strictly Enforced.
I was up them like a shot.
It was like being inside a nautilus shell. The stairs twisted round and round, winding their narrow way upwards in echoing sameness. There was no possible way of seeing what lay ahead or, for that matter, what lay behind. Only the few steps immediately above and below me were visible.
For a while, I counted them in a whisper as I climbed, but after a time I found that I needed my breath to fuel my legs. It was a steep ascent and I was getting a stitch in my side. I stopped for a moment to rest.
What little light there was appeared to be coming from tiny slit windows, one positioned at each complete turn of the staircase. On that side of the tower, I guessed, lay the Quad. Still short of breath, I resumed my ascent.
Then suddenly and unexpectedly the staircase ended—just like that—at a little timbered door.
It was a door such as a dwarf might pop into in the side of a forest oak: a half-rounded hatch with an iron opening for a skeleton key. And, needless to say, the stupid thing was locked.
I
let out a hiss of frustration and sat down on the top step, breathing heavily.
"Damnation!" I said, and the word echoed back with startling volume from the walls.
"Hallo up there!" came a hollow, stony voice, followed by the scraping of footsteps far below.
"Damnation!" I said again, this time under my breath. I had been spotted.
"Who's up there?" the voice demanded. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the urge to reply.
As my fingers touched my teeth, I had an idea. Father had once said there would come a time when I was grateful for the braces I had been made to wear, and he had been right. This was it.
Using my thumbs and forefingers as a dual pair of pincers, I yanked down on the braces with all the strength I could muster, and with a satisfying “click” the things popped out of my mouth and into my hand.
As the footsteps came closer and closer, climbing relentlessly up to where I was trapped against the locked door, I twisted the wire into an “L” with a loop on the end and jammed the ruined braces into the keyhole.
Father would have me horsewhipped, but I had no other choice.
The lock was old and unsophisticated, and I knew I could crack it—if only I had enough time.
"Who is it?" the voice demanded. "I know you're up there. I can hear you. The tower is off limits. Come down at once, boy."
Boy? I thought. So he hadn't actually seen me.
I eased in and out on the wire and twisted it to the left. As if it had been oiled this morning, the bolt slid smoothly back. I opened the door and stepped through, pulling it silently closed behind me. There was no time to try locking it from the inside. Besides, whoever was coming up the stairs would likely have a key.
I was in a space as dark as a coal cellar. The slit windows had ended at the top of the stairs.
The footsteps stopped outside the door. I stepped soundlessly to one side and flattened myself against the stone wall.
"Who's up here?" the voice asked. "Who is it?" And then a key was inserted, the latch clicked, the door opened, and a man stuck his head in through the opening.
The beam from his torch shot here and there, illuminating a crazy maze of ladders that twisted up into the darkness. He shone the light on each ladder, allowing his beam to climb it, rung by rung, until it vanished in the blackness far above.
