It had been a week since she’d stood in front of Sullivan. He’d ridden out each day, but she’d barred the door and hidden upstairs. There was no reason to talk to him. She jutted her chin. She could perfectly run her own life. Then her shoulders sagged. What she wouldn’t give to hold Becca again, though. Her eyes grew moist. She wasn’t being heroic or strong; she was just a coward. Hearing why he didn’t even care enough to answer her letters would be the death of her. But she had a burning inside of her that had to know the reason.
She ran her hands down the calico dress she’d sewn. Her world had changed once more when she took off her threadbare gray shift that was her prison uniform. She’d even tried a few hairstyles that didn’t make her look like a beggar.
While in prison, she had craved solitude, now she hated the loneliness that came with it. She was supposed to have thought about her crime and repented while in prison. Shaking her head, she frowned. She’d had nothing to repent.
She’d foraged in the forest every day. It made her feel free. She put on her new cape and grabbed a basket. She had a poke bonnet to put on, but she liked the feel of the wind through her hair. After checking her rifle, she set out.
The first thing she gathered was willow bark. It helped keep her bones from hurting so much. Next, she looked for sage. A twig snapped, and she whirled around, ready to fight, releasing a sigh when she recognized Sullivan. “Just leave me alone.” She returned to her pursuit of sage.
Saying nothing, he stood right behind her, so close she felt the heat from his body.
“Is Becca sick?” She bent to gather the herbs.
“She’s in fine health. Her heart can’t seem to heal though.”
“Doesn’t she like the new mother you picked out for her?” Her voice was tart, but she didn’t care.
“Are you trying to punish me? I haven’t slept in nearly a week.”
“That’s not possible, and no I’m just giving as good as I got.” She swallowed hard. The lump in her throat didn’t disappear.
He sighed. “I don’t understand what you mean. Please, Sheila, talk to me. Look at me.”
She couldn’t help herself; she turned. “It was much worse than you’d imagine the opposite of heaven to be.”
“Hell.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “I waited and waited for any news of you and Becca. You would have thought a wise woman would have given up after a few months, but I’m not wise. I waited for three years and you answered not one of my letters. I did get one short note from the widow Muse but her mind rambles and so did her letter. It didn’t matter, I read that note every night for months. It was all I had ever got, though I wrote many, hoping—” Quickly she glanced away. She needed to stay strong.
“The warden told me you were dead,” he said, his voice getting harsher with each word.
“That’s convenient. Other women got letters. No one said they were dead. Well, not until they actually died that is. Listen, I don’t want Becca to know I’m here. I’d only be an embarrassment to her. She’ll be teased and turned away for the rest of her life, and I refuse to allow that to happen. But you have to keep her safe!” she stressed. “And that means you cannot marry that girl. Gail, is it? I’m sorry if you love—Gail, but her plans to take Becca are not acceptable. Do what you want with her, but please keep her away from Becca. I heard her and Able talking and the plan is for you to be found in a compromising position with Gail. You’ll be forced to marry.” She turned her head again and met his gaze. “Please do this one thing for me… or rather do it for Becca. I’m afraid for her. Able must not get his hands on her.”
Sullivan nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Finally, he nodded again and left.
Watching him leave almost broke her—almost.
* * *
Sullivan felt lost. If he went into the house, Dolly would be sure to notice something was wrong and ask him all kinds of things. He wasn’t up to it. He wasn’t up for the laughter he heard from the barn. He was more up for punching something. But although that sounded good, it never helped.
Donnell came hurrying over. “I need to talk to you.” He walked toward the stream, stopping where a small inlet formed a calm pool of water. “I don’t want anyone to overhear us.”
“What is it?”
“Remember when you got a wire that Sheila was dead? It wasn’t true.”
He angled his head and shot his brother a sarcastic stare. “Go on.”
Donnell faltered. “You already knew?”
“Just very recently, but I don’t understand any of it.”
Donnell picked up a flat rock and skipped it across the stream. “Mr. Wren paid the sheriff and the judge to convict Sheila and then once she was in prison, more of Wren’s money went to the warden.”
Sullivan stumbled back as though he’d been sucker punched. “What? Why?” His heart sped up, and he couldn’t make any sense of what Donnell was saying.
“I dug deeper into Sheila’s case. We knew it was a crazy verdict, and I was suspicious. All those people who came forward at the end of the trial saying the little girl had been burned and was dead before they got to Sheila’s… It took a while, but I got Mr. George the banker to trust me. That man is suspicious of everything. Took me a few years to get on his good side. Old Jim George finally gave up the fact that Wren withdrew money to pay off Sheriff Ganes and Judge Harvey. Then he told me about the payoff to Warden Stang. Ed Wren had something against Sheila. Everyone knows his girl was dead before she got to Sheila’s house, but no one said anything until that lawyer you got her pressed them under oath. Her own mother kept saying she was burned and already dead when her pa took her. Even then, the judge declared her guilty. I can’t make heads nor tail of it.”
Sullivan’s face heated. “Where is Wren now? I heard he moved.” He kept his voice stone cold but even.
“I’m looking. Don’t do anything that will put you behind bars. Nothing you can do to Sheriff Ganes since he was shot dead a while ago. And you know that judge hasn’t been back.” He settled a hand on Sullivan’s shoulder and squeezed. “I’m taking a ride out to the prison to see what I can find on the warden.”
“She thought I didn’t bother to write to her or visit her. Sheila thought I annulled our marriage. Right now, she thinks Becca is better off if she continues to stay away.”
“You’ll have to convince her otherwise.” Donnell patted Sullivan’s shoulder once, then dropped his arm and walked away.
Sullivan picked up a couple of stones and flicked them outward, watching them skip across the water. He needed to do two things. Stay away from Gail, never be alone with her, and win Sheila back. Actually, he had a third thing; keep a close eye on Becca.
He closed his eyes, trying to remember all Sheila had said. She spent over three years hurting and hating him, thinking he had abandoned her. He had mountains to climb to get her back. She looked so fragile, but she was still tough. She was a proud woman, an independent woman, a stubborn woman. And she was his woman. She was alive! It should have been a time of celebration, but that wouldn’t happen if he couldn’t get his wife to trust him. If he’d had his way, he would have brought her home with him. Now that would have been a fight. He was out of his element. He needed Dolly.
It wasn’t until after supper that he was able to get her alone. He looked around the first floor and didn’t see anyone. He didn’t want to be overheard, but there were too many places to hide and listen inside the house. Better yet, he got his coat and Dolly’s wrap.
She gave him an inquiring look.
“I need to talk to you alone.”
With no hesitation, she put on her wrap and followed him outside.
“I know it’s cold, but someone was listening in when I was talking to Donnell in the office a few weeks back.”
“I’m fine. What’s on our mind?”
“Sheila is alive.”
It took Dolly a few seconds before her eyes widened. “What? Where is she?”
“She’s at her house. And she thought I didn’t bother to write to her or even visit. I need to talk to her for a length of time. Usually she has the door barred, and the two times I talked to her were short. She’s afraid for Becca. She overheard Gail and Able plotting to get Becca. I believe she’s the one who left that note. She doesn’t believe anything I say and is positive I had our marriage annulled. I don’t think she understands we thought her to be dead. She called it a convenient excuse.”
“She believes that Becca forgot about her too?”
“A few letters got through from Widow Muse. That’s proof enough for her we didn’t write to her.” Emotion welled, threatening to choke him. “Dolly, she looks half starved. Her eyes are sunken, and you can see her bones. Her hair is different, not lush, and shiny as it was. The first time I saw her she had on an ugly gray prison dress. It was very loose on her. But today she had on a calico dress and there isn’t much of her left.”
“Can you do without me tonight and for breakfast?”
He furrowed his brow. “I… why?”
“I’m going to talk to that wife of yours. I’ll tell her how it was.”
“It’s too dark for you to travel.”
Dolly laughed. “Too bad you didn’t know me in my younger days.” She turned and hurried into the house.
He shook his head. He’d get someone to follow to be sure Dolly arrived safely. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t leave Becca alone with Gail. He rubbed the back of his neck. How was he supposed to act like nothing was going on? He’d have to confide in Teagan and Gemma. They’d help.
After he hurried to the bunkhouse and talked Rafferty into following Dolly, he asked everyone to be extra watchful. Then he went into the main house.
“Daddy!” Becca jumped up, so he’d catch her. And she gave him a bright, loving smile. “Will you tell me a bedtime story and hear my prayers?”
“Sure!” He looked up and his eyes met Gail’s. “I think Gail could use a little time to herself.”
“I will heat more water. I’m taking a bath. Don’t worry, I’ll remember to put the privacy screens in place and lock the back door this time.” She chuckled.
Sullivan made himself smile at her. “It’s the back door that gets us all at least once.” He carried Becca up to her room.
* * *
The knock on Sheila’s door was very light. She grabbed her rifle anyway and opened the door. It was like coming home, seeing Dolly on her porch. Her heart wanted to sing. “Come in. Are you alone? It’s too dark out to travel alone.”
Dolly entered the house. “Rafferty trailed me the whole way. That boy was never quiet from the first.” She held up a small bag. “I’m here to spend the night with you. It’s the only time I have to myself and I wanted to spend it with you.” She put her bag down and took off her wrap. After she put her hands on her hips, she shook her head. “They only fed you enough to stay alive, didn’t they?” Dolly then wrapped Sheila into her embrace and held her tight.
Finally, Sheila could cry for all that she’d lost. She wept for all the injustice, the pain, the heartbreak and lies. She wept for her worry for Becca, and she wept for her loss of herself. She didn’t know who she was or how she fit in.
When the worst was over, Dolly made a big fire and set two chairs in front of it. She gently settled Sheila into one of them. “I’ll put up the water for tea.”
At least if Sheila died, Dolly knew what was in her heart to tell Becca. She was embarrassed to be a shell of the woman she was.
“Here we go. This will warm you up.” Dolly handed her a cup of tea and then moved a small table next to Sheila’s chair. “I made cookies and figured you’d like a few.” Then she sat in the other chair.
“Thank you. No matter what I do, I never seem to be able to get warm. I’ve been chilled to the bone for a very long time. The cookies are much appreciated. I’ve been busy looking for plants for medicine and have had little time to spend in the kitchen.”
“I’m so happy to see you,” Dolly said, the firelight catching the glint of tears in her eyes. “I’ve missed you and there was a hole in my heart every time I looked at Becca. At first, she refused to believe you were dead. She’d cry herself to sleep every night. Sullivan then stayed in her room until she fell asleep. He didn’t even leave on the cattle drives the last few years. He kept her with him at all times. Finally, she—I think she felt safe. This last year he hired Gail and was able to ride alone. He always loved being a cowboy.” Heaving a sigh, she shook her head. “We all thought Gail was an honest and kind woman. But enough about her. Right after they took you away, Sullivan tried to find you and he finally found out and went to see you, but they insisted you were dead even though they wouldn’t allow him to pay his respects at your grave. That man grieved for you something awful. He tried to be cheerful for Becca, and I do believe she kept him sane.”
Sheila could only stare. Why on earth had someone told him she was dead?
Dolly took a sip of her tea. “My dear, you were never forgotten, not for a single moment. We all mourned for you, Becca, and Sullivan. Nothing was the same. Everything happened so fast we didn’t have time to draw a breath. They whisked you away without allowing for goodbyes. Then no one would tell Sullivan where you were. He thought he failed you, but he was determined to keep his promise about Becca. Able made a fuss at first, but he didn’t have the means to go up against the Kavanaghs. Deputy Moore became Sheriff, and he wanted no part of Able’s scheme to get Becca. As to why Sullivan asked Gail to marry him, well, you know the brothers. They kept at him this last year, telling him he should remarry. He didn’t have the heart to look at another woman, but Gail was there. There was nothing between them and even though they became engaged, I don’t think there is anything between them still. Sullivan doesn’t light up when he sees her like he did when he saw you.”
“I thought he’d decided he didn’t want me for his wife. I figured he loved Gail and they planned to make Becca theirs,” Sheila explained. “I was the one who left the note on the clothesline.”
“I realize that now,” Dolly murmured.
“You can see why I didn’t want anyone to see me,” Sheila continued, gesturing to her body. “Most of the women in the prison died well before their release date. We were beaten and starved and worked to death. It was my need to see Becca again that kept me going. At night I’d think of Sullivan and Becca and what a happy family we’d be. As time went on Sullivan even left my dreams. I watched other women read their mail and it tore my heart anew each time. I was innocent. I couldn’t understand why the judge couldn’t see that. It made me a bitter person, and my vow to get even also kept me going.”
“It was all done for money,” Dolly said, shaking her head. “I believe Mr. Wren didn’t want to admit he was wrong. He must have known his daughter was already dead. But he paid off the judge and the sheriff. No one has seen the judge in about a year, and the sheriff was shot about the same time. I suppose it was right before Gail showed up.”
Sheila sighed. “How can anyone play with people’s lives like that? I’m sure he’ll get his due by the hand of God. I’ve decided to stay dead and live here as Marta Bauer. I don’t want to ruin Becca’s life. Having a convict for a mother, especially one who looks like I do now, will ruin any chance she’ll have for happiness. Sullivan deserves better, too. I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror. But I’ll only be happy once Gail and Able are run off.”
“You’re not coming home?” Shock colored Dolly’s words. “I think you should reconsider. Becca needs you, and Sullivan loves you. You look as skinny as all get out, but other than that, I’d know you anywhere. It’s not what’s on the outside, Sheila, it’s what’s in the inside that counts. Surely as a mother you can understand that.”
Sheila was silent for a bit, considering Dolly’s words. Then she nodded. “You’re right. I’m going home with you in the morning. I thought I was making a sacrifice for my daughter, but it’s me being selfish and afraid. I
kept thinking, ‘What if she runs from me?’”
“You never know how children will react, but I know you are in her heart,” Dolly promised.
Sheila nodded. “I just wish there was someone who could clear my name. I guess there’s no one else. It would have to be Ed Wren.”
“And he’s disappeared. But Donnell is looking for him. Donnell has turned out to be quite the investigator. He’s been a rock for Sullivan. I know you and Sullivan would knock heads both wanting to be right. Sullivan is still bossy, but he no longer has to be right. He liked to be in control, but he’s learned that he can’t be in control. Life is about God’s will. I see your gumption in your eyes, and I think you now know that everything isn’t a battle. Let me help you into bed and in the morning, we’ll pack up your things and go home.”
Sheila had tears in her eyes as she hugged Dolly good night.
Chapter Fourteen
Sullivan played tag with Becca while he anxiously waited for Dolly to return. His heart pounded, wondering what Sheila would have told her. Had he lost his wife for good? It had ruined his life when he’d heard about her death, but now to know that she thought he hadn’t wanted to write to her. How she must have suffered with those thoughts going through her mind. She had believed herself to be all alone. He turned and saw two women riding toward him on Dolly’s horse. His hopes rose and his heart felt ready to explode.
He hurried toward the barn with Becca running to keep up with him. Once the paint stopped Sullivan lifted his arms and helped his love down and then held her so very close to him. He didn’t want to let go. Finally, though, he set her on her feet, and Becca’s eyes widened. She ran to her mother, almost knocking her over.
“Mama? Is it really you?”
Sheila kneeled in the dirt and hugged Becca with a look of joy on her face. The love in her eyes was there for all to see.
Sullivan: Cowboy Protector: The Kavanagh Brothers Book 4 Page 9
