She shook her head. “I only want to look forward not back.”
He pulled her close, and she almost felt warm. “I wish I had told you I loved you before they dragged me away to prison. It was a big regret of mine.”
“I knew in my heart you loved me. I still can’t believe anyone would be so cruel as to tell us you were dead.” He paused and frowned. “Oh, and Becca getting Wren’s money doesn’t sit well with me.”
She nodded. “I thought that way at first, but she suffered enough for it. It’s for her future, we don’t need to mention it to her now. The one thing I want most is to have your baby, but I’m still afraid.”
“My sweet love, we have plenty of time by the grace of God.”
Epilogue
Even with everyone in jail, Sheila couldn’t find peace. She tried and tried, but she often found herself shaking at the oddest times. They’d been to church as a family, but something wasn’t right. She didn’t feel God there.
A month later she went and sat in the church while it was empty. She prayed and listened to the profound silence. She’d felt God during the most awful times in her life, but now she didn’t know what was going on.
She heard the door open and she turned her head. It was Sullivan. He was always near.
“I know something is wrong. Please tell me.” He kneeled next to her and took her hand.
“It’s hard to explain. My heart feels heavy and I should be filled with joy. I don’t feel as close to God as I did. I think something is wrong with me.” A lone tear trailed down her face.
“I’m certainly no expert but have you given your hurt up to God? Have you allowed him to take your worries and make room in your heart for happiness? We can’t change what happened. It does no good to hate anyone involved.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Go I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
When she heard the door closed, she closed her eyes.
Lord, what Sullivan said makes a lot of sense. Most who were involved are dead and they are Yours to forgive or not. I don’t think I can give You all my hurt to take. I’m selfish and I need to remember what happened. I need to remember my journey. Please take from me all my what ifs and my blame for others. You held me through the darkness. I ask for this to be the start of a brand-new day of living in Your light. And please Bless Gemma as she carries a new life under her heart.
She felt the light and for the first time in years she felt warm. A feeling of calm bliss filled her, and she knew everything would be just fine.
Later that evening Sheila smiled as she saw Sullivan admiring the carving she’d made on the mantel. She was pleased at the way it had turned out. In the middle were two hearts entwined with their initials inside. Next to one heart was a smaller one with Becca’s initials and on the other side next to the other big heart a small heart was carved. It had the last initial K, but no first initial.
He traced his fingers over it. “This one is for someday.” He turned and met her gaze.
“It’s taken a lot but, in every hug, every deed, every word you have shown me how to trust you. I want to expand our family if we are so blessed. I have also learned that we can make decisions together. You have asked my opinion as though you value it, and much of my confidence has come back. I’m not all skin and bones anymore. What I’m trying to say is I love you and I’m hoping you’ll meet me in the middle of the bed tonight so I can be your wife.”
Sullivan took her into his arms and held her. “I take it your conversation with God went well.”
“Yes, exceptionally well.”
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Teagan: Cowboy Strong
Teagan Kavanagh pushed his hat back and frowned as he stared out over his pasture, dotted with grazing livestock. He shook his head and looked again. A good many of thecattle on his land didn’t belong to him. “Tarnation!” he muttered as the truth dawned on him. Someone had knocked down the fence again.
Running his gaze over the fence in the distance, it didn’t take him long to spot the breach. It was hard not to see considering several scrawny cows were jumping over the downed posts and wire and roaming onto his land as he watched. Still mumbling under his breath, he spurred his dun, Sandy through the hole in the fence and rode for the Maguire house.
The broken steps, unpatched roof, and the door barely hanging on its hinges surprised him. Why was the place in such disrepair? It couldn’t cost that much to fix it up. They had plenty of cattle. Maybe they didn’t know that because they were all on his land grazing on his grass.
The squawking of the chickens was the only sign that anything alive was around. The ground was nothing but patches of dirt that blew like dust in the scorching Texas sun.
Teagan swung down off his horse, by-passed the porch steps and knocked on the house instead of the door. He waited, but nothing happened. No one answered. He hopped off the porch and went around back. The garden that had once been lush and vibrant with vegetables was no longer anything but a patch of weeds. But laundry on the clothesline was whipping in the wind. Someone lived here.
Then he saw her, Gemma Maguire. She was pulling with what seemed to be all her might on a rope around their old cow. It always was a stubborn animal, and time hadn’t mellowed her one bit. He strode over and, without so much as a word of greeting, took the rope out of Gemma’s hand, and with a firm tug to get her moving, he led Old Bennie into the falling-down barn and to her stall. He removed the rope and closed the stall door behind him when he was done.
When he turned around and walked out of the barn, she was waiting for him just outside the door.
“Gemma,” he said in a neutral tone as he tipped his hat to her.
“Teagan. I heard all the boys made it home from the war. What a blessing.” She quickly stared at the ground and shuffled her feet a bit. “I guess you want to evict me. I’m trying to locate any family I might have, plus the bank said I still had one month before I had to either pay off the loan or leave.” Her chin wavered, and she swallowed hard. “I… suppose you could say I’ve hit on hard times.”
“Where are your folks?”
“Mama died of consumption, and Daddy never did come back from the war. I married a man who promised to take care of the ranch and me, but he took all my money and left. I guess I wasn’t very good at picking a husband. He tried to sell the land right from under me but there was too much debt, all his debt. He liked to play cards at Bobbie’s Saloon for days at a time.” She stole a quick look at him and bowed her head again. “I will pack.”
“I didn’t buy your ranch, Gemma.”
She narrowed her eyes as she stared at him. “Of course, you did. Mr. Lyons told me how you wanted me gone right away but he worked it out so I could stay until the end of the month. He said Teagan Kavanagh bought the place with cash.”
He shook his head, trying to make sense of her words. “I don’t understand any of this. When’s the last time you had a good meal?”
She turned crimson. “It’s not important.”
He touched her arm and was struck by a jolt of awareness; he still felt a spark between them after all this time. “It is important. I hate to say this Gemma, but you look worse than the beggars in the city.”
Stepping away, she turned her back on him. “I will be out by the end of the month.” Gemma lifted her skirt a bit and ran to the house. She almost fell on the busted-up steps, and she was extremely gentle with the door.
They had once been such good friends. Good friends until he’d asked her to marry him, at least… and she said no. He hadn’t even been aware she got married. He supposed he had never really known her at all. His hands fisted as he walked to Sandy then swung up into the saddle.
A wry chuckle bubbled forth. He never had gotten to th
e reason he’d come over; the cattle.
As he rode, he couldn’t help but compare the worn-down woman he’d just left to the vital young lady she’d once been. Her blossom of youth had vanished, her hair looked uncombed, and her dress has seen better days. “I married a man who promised to take care of the ranch and me…” Her words echoed in his head, and he couldn’t get the broken look she’d worn as she told him out of his mind. She married someone else. The notion was pure torture and would not leave him alone while he rode through his herd and got a better sense of how many head she had on his property.
Heading home and asking his brothers a few questions might clear things up. Then he would see Victor Lyons and find out why Gemma thought he was buying her ranch.
* * *
She hadn’t set eyes on him for at least six years. He’d grown up, hardened some, but mostly he was the same. She’d fallen for him the minute she first saw him with his broad shoulders, sky-blue eyes, and brown hair. He’d been confident bordering on arrogance back then. He seemed more reserved now. She’d spent far too much time crying over that man.
Her father had hated the whole Kavanagh family, and he’d forbidden her to marry Teagan. In fact, the day Teagan had asked her, she had been ordered to tell him he’d be shot on sight if he came near her again. The confusion and hurt in his eyes had haunted her all these years. When the Kavanagh boys joined up to fight the war, she’d been terrified he’d be killed.
At first, she had ridden the fence line between their ranches to glean a bit of information about how he was doing, but none of the brothers would talk to her. Losing their friendship had cut deep, but she didn’t have a choice. Her father never told her why he hated Mr. Kavanagh.
She prayed so much for the boys in gray. Then her father had joined the army and soon after that, her mother had died. What a terrible time it was. Few folks helped her, and she had never understood why. Her mother had been friendly to them all.
Then the soldiers had raided her food. She dug a new root cellar, but it was discovered, and the army took her food. Finally, she walked a good half hour and dug another new one. She planted her garden out there too, after the one near her house had been raided to the extent there was nothing left. She’d been lucky she’d had enough time to grow and harvest again.
She’d picked all the wild berries she could find and made preserves. It was a long trek in the winter, and she spent much of the time covering her tracks. It was a lonely time, and though they were her nearest neighbors, not one of the Kavanaghs had checked on her. She paid the mortgage every month with money she’d found buried in her yard. Her father hadn’t trusted banks. As far as she’d known everything had been paid off.
It had proven a struggle, but she had been getting by. One day after church, a handsome man with blond hair and brown eyes had smiled at her. He’d asked her to go for a walk. He was funny and charming. His manners were polished, and he was so respectful. The other unmarried women in the town all had their eyes on him, but every Sunday he’d chosen her. She’d been too smitten by his attentions to realize she was just being played for a fool.
Shoving the memories aside, she stared out the window and into her ruined garden. If Teagan didn’t know about the land buy, then what was going on? It was time—past time,—for answers. She’d need to draw a hot bath and press her Sunday dress, for tomorrow she was going to the Kavanagh’s.
* * *
It was a bit of a walk to the Kavanagh’s house; a dry, hot, sweaty walk. Hopefully her shoes would hold together. She could see the house and outbuildings from a distance, and the difference between the state of their house and hers shamed her. The Kavanagh house was beautifully whitewashed, and she had always admired the big porch. A person could walk out any door of the house and be on the porch. Their steps looked to be in fine condition, and she’d bet they didn’t have water leaking into the house when it rained. To think her house had once been in such fine order as that.
A sigh slipped past her lips, and she squared her shoulders. She’d done the best she could, and she’d survived. She had made some bad, life-altering decisions, but here she was. Which of the boys would answer the door? Or did they still have Dolly working for them? She had checked the notices of death constantly and she had never seen the name Kavanagh on any of them, but the notices weren’t always correct.
She stood very straight and tall and hesitated. Teagan wouldn’t want to see her. She’d lost her pride when she told him about her life. What had she been thinking? A hush seemed to settle around her. No birdsong, no chirp and hum of insects. No voices. No one was around. She should turn around and leave…
The door swung inward, and the Kavanagh’s housekeeper stood framed in the opening. “Mrs. Parks,” Dolly greeted. “I saw you walk up, but I didn’t hear you knock. Well, come on in. I haven’t seen you in a while not since… Well, it’s been a while.”
Gemma walked in. “It’s good to see you too, Dolly.” Gemma had always admired the woman who had practically raised the boys. Dolly had black hair she wore braided. It hung down her back and was as thick as a man’s wrist. She was older and she ruled the house with an iron hand. It was as though she was the conscience of the household. The boys had often looked to her for advice.
“I was just making some tea. Would you care to join me?” Dolly tilted her head slightly, and her smile was welcoming, but not as warm as normal, as though she knew this wasn’t a social call.
“That sounds lovely. Is Teagan available? I need to talk to him.”
Dolly shook her head. “He grumbled about bankers and went to town.”
Gemma’s heart quickened. So, he knew about the sale. She gave a nod. “The tea sounds good if you’re still offering.”
“Of course. Please have a seat, and I’ll be right back.”
Dolly walked to the kitchen, and with each step she took, Gemma lost a bit more of her confidence. Dolly had such poise and manners. Gemma felt like a country hick compared to her. She sat in a comfortable chair facing the lavish stone fireplace that took up half the wall. It was beautiful when lit during a frigid day. At least that was how she remembered it.
Was Teagan chastising the banker for telling her who had bought the land? Did she have any prayer of paying him off? Would he help her? She must have a few stray cattle somewhere, but without a horse to round them up, she couldn’t claim them as collateral against any debt. No, she’d drink her tea as quickly as she could while still being polite and then she was leaving. Coming here was just another bad decision to add to her long list.
Dolly returned with a tray that held the tea and sugar cookies to have with it. Gemma’s mouth watered as she stared at those cookies. Dolly poured a cup of tea and handed it over. “If I remember you like it plain?”
“Yes, thank you.” Gemma waited for Dolly to be seated before she took a sip. It was heavenly. She hadn’t had tea in a while, so she savored each sip. The sugar cookie had extra sugar sprinkled on top. It had been a long while since she’d had sugar.
“Oh, Teagan is back,” Dolly announced as she hopped up and opened the door for him. “You have a visitor.
Teagan glanced at her and didn’t bother to hide his scowl. “Miss. Maguire, please come with me to my office.”
“Mrs. Parks,” Dolly corrected.
Gemma stood. Her face heated. “It’s still Maguire. My husband already had a wife when he married me.” Shamed, she walked to the office, now Teagan’s office. It still looked and smelled the same. Everything was made of leather and there was still a hint of the scent of his father’s pipe tobacco in the air.
Teagan caught up and closed the door. “Please have a seat.”
She remained standing. “Dolly told me you went to see Mr. Lyons?” she pressed. No sense stalling, she decided as she met his gaze.
Teagan took his time getting settled behind the massive wooden desk. “What we have is a bit of a mystery. Mr. Lyons didn’t have any signed papers from a buyer. Interestingly enough, you are not
behind on your payments, so I don’t understand why he told you to leave at the end of the month. At first, he pretended to not know what I was talking about. He was lying. He’s still lying, but now he can’t hold anything over you. I took the liberty of paying off your debt, and the house and land are yours.”
“You—what?” Why would he do something like that? And how…? She forced her racing mind to slow down so she could have a civil conversation with him. “I’ll pay you back every cent.” She would just have to figure out how. “I-I can’t even pretend to know what is going on.” She sank down on one of the leather chairs. “I had the land and everything all paid for. It took a lot of going without, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want anyone to think they could take it after the war. But then… Well, my husband…” She wrung her hands. “I’ll pay you the first of the month.” She stood and turned toward the door.
“Wait! How do you expect to pay me?”
“Well… I must have some cattle… somewhere.”
He gave a curt nod. “You do, currently grazing on my land. How do expect to round them up? You don’t have a horse, do you?”
“Just how many cattle are we talking about? I figured I had a few hiding in a canyon or something.”
He was going to tell her to get off the property. Saying that she had no business running a ranch.
“I’m sorry your first husband didn’t work out,” Teagan said gently. “But you need help. I’ll figure out which of my brothers will marry you.”
The breath left her lungs in a whoosh. “You will what? Listen Mr. Kavanagh, you may be able to tell people on this ranch what to do, but I’m not one of them.” She gave him a hard, angry stare. Arrange for her to marry one of his brothers? How absurd!
Sullivan: Cowboy Protector: The Kavanagh Brothers Book 4 Page 11
