by Kate Brian
the door, Eva was near tears and chewing her bottom lip.
"Wow," Mandy said, looking her up and down. "You look amazing."
Eva had put on the same jeans Kai had chosen for her the week before along with an old black T-shirt that used to be loose but was now somewhat formfitting. She'd even managed to style her hair into a reasonable facsimile of the way it was supposed to look and put on eyeliner and mascara. By the time she was done, she'd almost felt like she was dressing up for Halloween. Unfortunately, all the primping was pointless.
"Do you have Riley Marx's phone number in your cell?" Eva begged. Mandy had the home numbers, cell numbers, and e-mail addresses of practically everyone in the senior class because she was involved in so many school activities.
"Uh . . . yeah, I think so," Mandy said, fishing the green phone out of her jacket pocket. "Why do you need to call him?"
"Because we were supposed to go out tonight and his number's not listed, so I haven't been able to call him and--"
"You were supposed to go out with Riley Marx?" Mandy said, looking up as she scrolled through her phone book. "When did this happen?"
"I'll explain in the car," Eva said, grabbing the phone from Mandy's fingers. As Mandy pulled away from the curb, Eva hit the speed dial button for Riley's cell. The voice mail picked up right away. Eva had to squeeze her eyes closed to keep from crying.
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"Riley, I'm so sorry and I really hope you get this message, but I have to cancel tonight," Eva said in a rush. She didn't even know what she was saying, but she hoped it didn't sound idiotic. "Something came up that I have to take care of. I'm really sorry. Um . . . okay . . . uh . . . bye." Mandy glanced over at Eva. "Are you okay?"
"Sure," Eva said, wiping a mascara-blackened tear away from her eye. Her life was ruined, but other than that she was just peachy.
Mandy leaned back against the side of her VW with Eva, watching through the gas station window as Mrs. Farrell paid for the mechanic. Mandy couldn't even express how sorry she felt for her best friend. Her first date--and with Riley Marx, no less--and it had been obliterated.
Couldn't anything good happen anymore? To anyone?
"I don't feel like going home," Eva said, staring down at a puddle that was swirled through with multicolored streaks of gas and grease.
"We should go do something," Mandy said.
"Maybe we can call Debbie and Kai and hang out at your house," Eva suggested hopefully. "We haven't had a sleepover in a while."
Mandy winced, her heart heavy. "Actually, Kai and I kind of had a fight this afternoon," she said. "I don't really think she's gonna want to come over."
"You did?" Eva asked, concerned. "What happened?"
"It's kinda hard to explain."
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"We're still gonna go to the mall tomorrow, though, right? It's your birthday," Eva said.
Mandy sighed. She, Eva, and Debbie had a tradition of meeting at the mall on the Saturday closest to each of their birthdays to find a gift for the birthday girl. Mandy looked forward to it every year, but this time around she hadn't even thought about it until right then.
"I don't know," she replied. "I don't really think I'm in a shopping mood."
"Okay, now I'm scared." Eva forced a laugh, but it came out sounding like a cough.
Eva's mother emerged from the gas station office and Mandy and Eva both pushed away from the car. Mandy couldn't help noticing how tired and harried Eva's mom looked. You look like I feel, she thought wryly. But at least Eva's mom wasn't afraid to let her emotions show. At least she wasn't walking around like some unaffected automaton like Mandy's parents were whenever Mandy was around.
Or whenever they noticed she was around.
"Thanks so much, Mandy," Mrs. Farrell said, smoothing her hair back from her face. "I'm glad Eva has such nice friends."
Eva looked away and Mandy smiled. "It's no problem, really."
"I'm gonna go over to Mandy's house," Eva piped in. "I might stay over."
"Okay," her mother said. "Just call me and let me know."
They waited until Eva's mother had driven off before
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getting into the car. Mandy glanced at the clock. It was already eight. Her parents were attending a benefit tonight, and they were leaving at eight o'clock. That meant the house would be psycho-free, at least for a few hours.
"All right, let's go home," Mandy said, starting the engine. "You can try Riley again from there."
"And we can talk about what happened with you and Kai."
Great, Mandy thought, merging into traffic. A fun-filled Friday night.
Both her parents' cars were in the driveway when she pulled up, but that didn't mean anything. Her parents almost always hired a limo when they went to benefits and functions. It wasn't until she and Eva were inside and upstairs that she heard their voices. Mandy froze in her tracks.
"You can use the phone in my room," she told Eva.
Eva hesitated.
"I'm just gonna tell my parents we're here," Mandy told her with a tight smile. And warn them not to say anything too scary too loudly.
Eva went into Mandy's room and Mandy walked cautiously toward her parents' bedroom.
"They're going to come tomorrow?" Mandy's mother asked. "So soon? But tomorrow is Mandy's birthday."
"I know what tomorrow is, Shirley."
Heart pounding, Mandy knocked on the open door and her parents both looked up, startled. Her mother
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was wearing one of her glittering, floor-length sheaths and her father was in his tux sans jacket. His face was as red as a beet and her mother's was pale as milk.
"What's going on?" Mandy asked, frozen on the threshold.
Her mother and father exchanged a look and then her father sighed. "You might as well come in and sit down, pumpkin," he said.
"Why? What's up?" Mandy asked again, petrified.
"Your father has something he needs to tell you," her mother said.
"Um . . . okay, but Eva's in my room. We were going to have a sleepover and--"
"That might not be the best idea," her mother said, walking over and offering Mandy her hands.
Mandy felt like she was in somebody else's body as her mom drew her over to the bed and sat down next to her. Her hand felt like a lump of mush inside her mother's warm and clammy palms. Her father sat down at the dressing table bench and took a long, deep breath.
"Amanda, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it." When he lifted his eyes to meet Mandy's, they were warm and sad. "I'm going to prison."
"What?" she said weakly.
"I did what the government said I did, and they've got their proof. They're going to come here tomorrow so that I can surrender myself."
"What did they say you did?" Mandy asked as her
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mother's hands tightened around hers. She felt like her voice was coming from somewhere outside her body.
"I've fudged some numbers on our income taxes for a few years," he said. "Put us in a lower bracket so they wouldn't take as much of our money. . . ."
"So they . . . they're coming to get you?"
"Mandy, I'm so sorry--"
"So I've been right all along," Mandy said, numb. She stared at the floor but didn't really see it. "All this stuff. . . you guys walking around like nothing was wrong, acting all happy ... it was all a lie."
"We didn't want you to worry, sweetheart," her mother said.
"God, Mom, I'm not an idiot!" Mandy snapped with such anger that she surprised even herself. "I've been worried anyway! Don't you guys think I have a right to know what's going on around here?!"
"Of course you do--"
"Yeah, as long as it doesn't involve telling me that my father is a criminal!" Mandy shouted.
"Now, Mandy--"
"I asked you. I asked you last week and you said everything was fine!"
Her parents exchanged a look.
"You only lied to me to prote
ct yourselves," Mandy babbled, tears spilling over. "How could you do this to us, Dad?"
"Now, Mandy. People make mistakes--"
"Not you! Not me! Not Mom!" Mandy said, the anger
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starting to make its way through her veins and into her very fingertips. "You don't make mistakes. You don't let anyone around you make mistakes. You don't even like it when I get B's in school!"
She was standing now, but she had no recollection of getting to her feet. "You lied to me! And to Mom!" Mandy blurted. "You said you were innocent--that it was all just going to blow over. How could you lie to us? You know what? I'm glad you're going to prison! You deserve to go!" Mandy shouted, a tear spilling over and running down to her chin. She hadn't known anything could feel as bad as this--so all-consuming and poisonous. "I don't ever want to see you again."
She turned and ran out of the room and slammed the door. She crashed right into Eva. "What did you hear?" Mandy asked, tears now falling freely.
"No. You know what? It doesn't matter," Mandy said, sniffling. "I just need to get out of here."
"Okay. You can sleep at my house," Eva told her. "You want to pack some stuff?"
She wrapped her arm around Mandy, who nodded gratefully as her parents started to fight again from inside their bedroom.
"No, forget it," Mandy said, starting down the hall and struggling not to break into a full-out run. She had to get away from him. From them. From everything. "Let's just go. I just want to go."
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Chapter 20
When Debbie woke up the next morning, the first thing she'd remembered was that Eva and Riley had gone out on a date last night. She had spent the past half hour just sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the back of a box of Special K. Thinking about the fact that Eva and Riley might have kissed last night. Riley might have kissed Eva. It wasn't even so much Eva's liking Riley that upset her. It wasn't even the fact that Eva had kept it a secret. It was the fact that Riley liked Eva that bothered her the most.
Up until now Debbie had managed to convince herself that she was making headway with Riley. But him going for Eva--the purest of the pure, the girl who had never even been kissed--it was like a statement was being made. I'm not good enough for him, Debbie thought
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pressing her fist against her mouth. Riley thinks I'm dirty, just like the rest of the world does.
She should have seen it coming. Everyone else would have--or would have if they'd known she'd set her sights on the Boy Scout. Even those teachers on the Treemont panel could have told her. "We think a guy like Danny Brown might be more your speed," she could imagine them saying. "You know, because he's so fast."
Debbie heard the phone in her father's study being slammed down, and then a second later he barreled into the room. Her mother followed, wringing her hands with excitement. Suddenly Debbie felt a twinge of foreboding. She knew those looks.
"I just got off the phone with Bob Schneider," her father said. "You won! You won the scholarship!"
Debbie's stomach swallowed her heart.
"We are so proud of you, Deborah," he said.
This was not happening.
Debbie's mother came around the table and kissed the top of her head. She hugged her around the neck. Debbie felt like the life was being squeezed right out of her
"You see what happens when you listen to your father?" he continued giddily. "Because of my pushing you, because of my belief in you--you now have a bright future, Deborah. You can be anything you want to be!"
Debbie stared at the mush of her soggy cereal. "No, I can't," she said quietly. So quietly even she could barely even hear herself.
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"What was that?" her father asked, still grinning. He'd already picked up the phone and was dialing, probably one of her brothers, to tell him the good news.
"I said no, I can't," Debbie repeated.
"Debbie," her mother said. Her father stopped dialing.
"What are you saying?" her father asked.
"I'm saying I can't be anything I want to be because I don't want to be a mathematician or a scientist or a doctor," Debbie said. Her heart was pounding, but her courage was mounting with every new word.
"Oh? Well, then, what do you want to be?" Her father put the phone back on the cradle. That vein in his forehead was beginning to twitch.
Suddenly Debbie realized she couldn't tell him. Not yet.
"I don't know . . . something else!" she cried out. "Anything else. I hate science! Why do you want me to do something I don't even want to do?"
"See? You don't even know," her father said with a smile that was half relief, half amusement. "You'll go to Penn State and you'll try some things out. You'll find a discipline you love like I did and--"
"No!" Debbie screamed. Her mother jumped back. "I am not going to Penn State, I am not taking that scholarship, and I am not going to become a physicist!" she shouted. "There's something you've never seemed to understand, Dad! I'm not you!"
Her father's face slackened. "Deborah! You will not talk to me this way!"
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"No! You will not talk to me this way!" Debbie was afraid of her father, afraid of what she was saying to him, but she was more afraid not to say it. The words had been building up in her for so long she had to get them out. "This is my life! What about what I want?"
"So you're not going to go to college? Is that what you want?" her mother asked quietly.
Debbie realized at once that she didn't have an answer for that. After yesterday, she knew the Treemont was out of her grasp, and she hadn't gotten word from FIT and it had been almost two months. If she turned down the Math and Science scholarship, there was a good chance she wouldn't be able to afford to go anywhere.
Her mother was right.
Debbie grabbed her purse and car keys and ran out of the house as fast as she could.
"Come on . . . come on . . . pick up the phone . . ."
Eva twisted the phone cord around and around her finger while anxiously watching the bathroom door. It was 10 a.m. on a Saturday and she knew there was a solid possibility that Kai was out on her morning run, but this was her only chance to call without Mandy knowing.
Finally someone picked up.
"Hello?"
Eva breathed out, relieved to hear her friend's voice. "Hey, Kai. . . it's Eva."
"Oh, hey! What's going on?"
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"Um ... I just wanted to see if you were still coming to the mall this afternoon," Eva whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" Kai asked.
"Just. . . trying to keep it down. Are you in?"
"Uh, actually no," Kai said. "I don't really think Mandy wants me around for her birthday."
"That's not true!" Eva blurted as the water cut off. Even though that was the exact reason she was making this call in secret.
"Look, Eva, I'm sorry. But I just really don't think I should go."
Just then Eva heard the bathroom door opening. "I have a beep," she said quickly. "Um, I'm gonna have to call you back."
She slammed down the phone just as Mandy came out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. Eva leaned back against the kitchen cabinets, clutching the edge of the countertop behind her.
"Hey. Who was that?"
"Oh, just my mom," Eva said with a shrug. "She was calling from work to see how you were."
"That was nice of her," Mandy said.
"So . . . how are you?" Eva asked.
Mandy paused but didn't turn around. "I'll be fine," she said. "Hey. Thanks for letting me stay over. And thanks for staying up so late talking last night. Just talking about it made it seem . . . made it seem less like I have to deal with this alone." She turned around and gave Eva a small sad
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grin. "Anyway, I'm going to your room to get dressed."
Once the door closed behind Mandy, Eva reached for the phone and dialed Kai's number again. She picked up after one ring.
"Hello?"
"Kai, listen," Eva said quickly. "Mandy is our friend. She needs us right now and that's all there is to it. I know things have been weird with all of us lately, but none of that matters. Get over it because you're coming. And I don't want to hear another word about it."
"Whoa," Kai said with a laugh. "Did you supersize the coffee this morning or something?"
"You're coming."
"Okay. Okay. Okay. Yes. I'll come. But if it turns into a smack-down, I'm not responsible."
"Got it," Eva told her. "See you later."
"And then Jenny insisted that she wanted to marry Hayden, so we had a whole wedding ceremony in the day-care center and Mesach played the judge," Eva babbled, looking around the food court table at her nonresponsive friends. "He asked them if they would take each other even if one of them stole the other one's pudding cup. It was so cute."
She stopped for breath and took a sip of her soda. Kai was picking at a plate of french fries. Debbie was flipping through an issue of Vogue.
"So . . . um . . . what's up with you guys?" Eva asked.
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Mandy had yet to broach the subject of her father and Eva wasn't about to force her, but she wished someone would say something already.
Eva shot Kai a do-something look and Kai shrugged. Mandy just stared at her unopened burger like she was waiting for it to reveal to her the meaning of life.
"Mandy ... do you want to go look for your birthday present?" Eva asked hopefully.
"No thanks." Mandy rested her chin on top of her forearms. "I'm not really in the mood."
"Are you going to tell us what's wrong or what?" Kai asked finally, in an impatient and not-so-friendly tone.
"Oh, right. Like you really care," Mandy said.
"I do care! What makes you think I don't?"
"Oh, I don't know, the fact that you've been lying to me, taking over the volleyball team, stealing the presidency out from under me," Mandy shot back, sitting up. "Yeah. You really care about me."
"Um, you guys--," Eva began.
"How many times am I going to have to explain this?" Kai demanded, sitting back in her chair and letting her arms fall at her sides. "I didn't run for club president to hurt you, I did it because I needed an extracurricular. And so what if I lied? It's not like you've been telling us anything!"
"What did you lie about?" Debbie asked.
