I clench my teeth together. I knew this was why he wanted to see me, but it still sucks to hear. “I don’t know. I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“Get it off your fucking mind then. Whatever it is isn’t as important as the game, you hear me? You’re the best pitcher I got but don’t think I won’t take you out and put Henderson in your place.”
Henderson doesn’t have half my speed or technique. He’s sloppy and has a lot to learn, but I don’t blame Coach for the threat. “Understood.”
“Tomorrow I expect you here early in the weight room and to be the player I know and expect you to be out on the field.”
I jerk my head in a nod. “I will be.”
He reaches for his reading glasses. “Good, now get out. I don’t want to look at your ugly mug anymore.”
Closing the door behind me I return to the lockers and grab my bag. Tossing it over my shoulder I head out of the locker room and gym building to the parking lot outside. My car sits there alone now, everyone else having left. Climbing inside, I’m tempted to change my mind and text Teddy to see what bar they went to, but I know being around that crowd and drinking away my sins isn’t going to solve my problems.
Instead, I decide to torture myself by pulling out my phone and bringing up the last text messages from Rory.
Princess: Why are you ignoring me?
Princess: It’s been a week. What the fuck is your problem?
Princess: I know we weren’t dating, but Jesus Christ Mascen if you didn’t want to see me again you could’ve said so. I’m a big girl.
Princess: Seriously? Nothing? Real mature.
Princess: I hate you—and not in a like you way.
The last text hurt like a bitch, like being sucker punched square in the face. But it’s nothing less than I deserve.
Sighing, I put my phone in the cup holder and drive away.
* * *
“You know, I really don’t know what to make of this pouty sad version of you. It’s kind of weirding me out.” Mallory drops down into her seat beside me. “Here I got you this.” She holds out the tea for me. “It’s what you always order.”
I take it from her, mumbling a thank you.
“What’d you do?” she continues. “You must’ve done something to be sulking like this. Don’t worry, this is a no judgment zone. I’m assuming you fucked it up with a girl and it doesn’t take me much guessing to figure out which one.” She winks at me.
“I really don’t want to talk. Besides, class is going to start.”
“After then?”
“No,” I bite out.
“You should talk. Talking is good.”
I narrow my eyes on her and lift the tea to my mouth, taking a sip. “Are you my shrink now? Because I didn’t ask for one.”
“You might not have asked, but it doesn’t mean you don’t need one.”
I stare steadfastly ahead. “I’m not good at talking.”
“Cool, then you can buy me lunch to make up for my generosity with the tea and I’ll do all the talking. All you have to do is sit there and look pretty and listen. You can at least do that, can’t you?” I make a noise that is neither agreement nor disagreement. “Perfect. We’ll go to the diner. I’m in the mood for burger.”
* * *
Mallory rips one of her fries into pieces then dunks one of the now smaller pieces into ketchup. “Thanks for lunch.”
“You kind of forced me into it,” I point out, staring at the BLT I ordered.
“I did, but you looked like you needed a friend.”
“I don’t need friends. I don’t need anybody.”
She arches a brow in surprise. “Whoa, I sense some aggression there. Who are you trying to convince? You or me?”
My lip curls and I pick up a fry, shoving it in my mouth so I don’t have to say anything. What could I say anyway? It seems like whenever I open my mouth I only dig myself into a deeper hole.
“You know, I get that you’re kind of an aggressive guy—total alpha male vibes, but there’s a difference in being a protector and a flat out jerk. I’m trying to help you.” She stares at me across the table like she’s trying to mentally drill her words through my thick head.
“I didn’t ask for your help.”
She narrows her eyes. “You know what, enjoy your lunch.” She tosses her hands up, huffing in exasperation.
She starts to slide from the booth and I grab her wrist. “Wait,” I plead, coming to my senses. I can’t keep doing this to myself or other people. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this … ask for help … talk about things.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Despite her sarcasm she gives me a small smile, sliding all the way back into the booth like she was before. “Usually you just start with words, that’s what helps me.”
“I didn’t know you were such a smart ass.”
“Well, since I think we’re kind of sort of friends at this point I figured it was best to let my true colors shine through. Now cut to the chase, we don’t have all day. I’m sure whatever major fuck up you’ve made to put you in such a dismissal mood requires a long story and my burger is getting cold.”
* * *
I hate to admit it, and I’ll never say it out loud, but talking to Mallory made me feel better. But as soon as I got home and saw Cole’s car my mood soured. After I filled Mallory in on my past with Rory, taking her home, and then her staying with me over break, she said I needed to be honest with Cole about Rory but it’s easier said than done. My best friend thinks the worst of me now and I know anything I say to him will be interpreted as just another lie and manipulation.
It’s been beyond uncomfortable between us these past few weeks. Cole leaves a room almost as soon as I enter it and I know he purposely left his laptop open in the kitchen the other morning so I would see that he was searching for a new place to live.
Climbing the stairs from the garage I open the door. Cole isn’t immediately visible but then the deck door opens, the scent of grilling burgers wafting into the townhouse behind him.
He looks up after closing the door to find me across the room. We make eye contact but no words are exchanged. I know I should say something but my mind is empty of words. He shakes his head, a humorless laugh passing through his lips, and heads into the kitchen while I take the stairs.
At the top, I stop looking back down but I can’t see my friend—or former friend, more like.
After showering, I get in bed, torturing myself by looking at Rory’s last text.
When my mom Facetime’s me I nearly don’t answer, but this is my momma and I can’t ignore her.
As soon as her face appears on the screen I find myself blurting out, “Mom, I fucked up.”
“What?” She blinks in shock at me.
I feel bad for catching her off guard and honestly don’t know what made me say it. “Don’t worry about it.”
“No, no, no. I don’t think so. I heard what you said, now tell me what you did?”
I prop my phone on the dresser, trying to think of the best way to explain the clusterfuck I’ve landed myself in to my mom. Rubbing my jaw, I decide to jump right into it.
“Cole was kind of dating Rory before Thanksgiving. She broke things off with him and while we were home things kind of…” I gesture with my hands, unsure how to phrase it proper. “Escalated,” I finally settle on. “You know she spent all of winter break here and he happened to see her leaving and now he’s fucking pissed at me, rightfully so, because I didn’t tell him about her. He thinks I did it on purpose to be a dick to him, but that’s not it at all, Mom. I care about her, a lot, and now I’ve really fucked things up because I haven’t spoken to her in weeks.”
She stares at me through the screen, blinking slowly. “I never realized what a dumb ass I’d raised. You really are your father’s son.”
“What?” I sputter.
She shakes her head, blowing out a breath. “Maybe it’s a man thing in general, but you guys truly make some of the
dumbest decisions ever. You’re what? Punishing yourself by pushing Rory away? Then not being honest with Cole? He’s been your friend for over two years now, and a good one at that, stop being such a cry baby and talk to him. Tell him how you really know Rory, because I doubt you’ve said anything about that either, and explain your feelings for her. I can’t guarantee he’ll forgive you easily, but I think he’ll at least understand.” She exhales a weighted sigh. “As for Rory, get on your knees and grovel, Mase, because you’ve really messed up there ignoring her. She cares about you, a lot, maybe even loves you. I saw that when you guys were here in November. Don’t throw away a good thing because you’re stubborn and scared. Being a decent human being means facing your fears, owning up to your wrong doings, and doing what’s right.”
She presses her lips together, but I know more words are on the tip of her tongue so I keep my mouth shut.
“You kids know the story of how your dad wasn’t honest with me in the beginning of our relationship. Though, I guess honest isn’t the correct term, but he didn’t tell me he was in a band. I had no clue he was famous. I was a clueless teenager who didn’t pay attention to that kind of stuff. I played piano and listened to classical. I didn’t read magazines or watch any kind of celebrity television. When I found out I was hurt because I felt like I’d been lied to and used. Rory’s probably feeling the same right about now. Find the way to talk to her, or do something, so she knows your real thoughts, feelings, and motives.”
“She might not forgive me.”
She shrugs, sipping her mug of tea. “She might not, that’s her prerogative, but you owe it to her and yourself to apologize and explain. It’s better to know than spend your whole life wondering what would’ve happened if you just said something. Regrets don’t tend to go away. They fester in your mind, plaguing you as you go through life. It’s better to face things head on in the moment.”
I swallow past the sudden lump in my throat. “I’ll figure something out.”
“Mascen,” she says my name softly. “remember, things that are meant to be will be, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have to work for it.”
“Thanks, Momma.”
“I have to go for now. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
She blows a kiss and like always I grab it, pressing it against my heart.
I don’t know how to make things right. Not with Cole. Not with Rory.
But I know my mom’s right. This isn’t a regret I want to live with.
Chapter Forty-Five
Rory
I feel like I have no right being hurt. Mascen and I made no promises to each other. We weren’t a couple, not even really friends. It’s dumb to feel like I’m owed something, a resolution of sorts, and yet I do.
My anger at him grows day by day, ready to explode and boil over. I know Kenna and Li can see it, probably worried when I do reach that point I’ll take it out on them, but they have nothing to worry about. There’s only person I plan on unleashing this upon and it’s the man who deserves it.
All my life I’ve been treated like an object. A plaything. Something to pass around. Even as a small child, before things got really bad, our parents would dress Hazel and me up like little dolls to show off.
But I’m a person and I deserve more than that.
Knocking on Kenna’s door she calls out for me to come in. “Hey,” I greet, crossing my arms over my chest. “I have a favor to ask you and Li.”
Li perks up from the couch. “I’m listening.”
“The baseball team has an away game this weekend. I need to be there.”
Kenna cocks her head to the side. “Are you confronting Mascen or…?” She trails off to let me fill in the blanks.
“Honestly, I have no idea, but I just need to do something. Going to his game seems like a good place to start.”
“Well, I’m always in for a good old-fashioned road trip. Li?” She leans off her bed to peer around me to the other girl in the living area.
“Absolutely.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Mascen
It’s been a few days since I spoke to my mom and she told me in so many words to, “Stop being such a little bitch and talk to Cole.”
Working up the courage has been difficult since I’m not very good at apologizing or explaining myself. It feels weak to admit fault in anything, but my mom reminded me the strongest people aren’t afraid to be vulnerable.
Knocking on Cole’s door I push it open before he can tell me to go away. Not that I’d blame him but I need to get this over with before I lose the courage.
“What do you want?” He sits up in bed, eyes narrowed. He looks skeptical at my interruption and sadly, the way I’ve been in the past, I can’t blame him. But I have an away game this weekend and I’m worried if I don’t make things right then I might come home to no roommate and a friendship now beyond repair.
“I need to talk to you.”
He slides out of the bed stalking towards me, his body tense like he’s poised for a fight. I wish he’d hit me. It’d make me feel better, but that’s not Cole’s style.
At the end of the day he’s right, he’s the nice guy and I’m not.
“Shouldn’t you have done your talking a while ago? Seems a little late to me now.” He raises his hands to his sides and lowers them back. “You’ve been moping around here like I’m the one who betrayed you.”
I clench my teeth and nod. “I know. Fuck, I’m not good at this.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Clearly.” He crosses his arms over his chest, a look of impatience crossing his face. I know if I don’t hurry up and start explaining he’s likely to walk away.
“I hate explaining myself or trying to justify my actions. I’ve always believed in doing things with no regret and owning it, but I’ll admit I hated seeing Rory behind your back.” I look down at my hands for a moment, flexing my fingers so I don’t have to look into his eyes. I fucking hate seeing the betrayed look in them.
“That so?” He arches a brow, his nostrils flaring. He’s pissed and has every right to be. “How long was this going on? The whole time I was with her?” His jaw clenches, his hands fisted at his sides like he wants to hit me but I know even now he won’t.
I shake my head. “Fuck, man, no. How could you think that?” He gives me a look like he can’t believe I just asked that. “Right…” I rub the back of my head awkwardly, blowing out a breath. “Look, there’s a lot you don’t know that I need to try to explain for you to understand. Do we have to do that standing here?”
He sweeps his arm to the side with a dramatic flourish, like I’m really putting him out for wanting to have this conversation. I know I should’ve explained things to him immediately. I know he would’ve still been pissed, but it would’ve been better than letting this riff grow and fester even more. “Kitchen?”
I nod in agreement and he follows me downstairs. He ends up taking one of the barstools and I stand across from him bracing my hands on the counter.
I know I can’t wait long to launch into this or he’ll get up and leave, so I get right to it, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“I’ve known Rory since we were kids.”
His head shoots up in surprise, his face crinkling with confusion and surprise. “What? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t she tell me? I even commented on how you guys grew up in the same fucking place!”
I shrug, not knowing what else to do. The anger in his voice is justified. I should’ve told him, but it didn’t seem important. Not then anyway.
“I haven’t seen her in ten years but growing up she was my best friend. I treated her like shit when I found out she was going here. It doesn’t help that my first encounter with her in a decade was catching her sneaking out of your room.” Cole tenses, but doesn’t interrupt. “It’s dumb but seeing her again reminded me of how hurt I was by her leaving. Her family moved away when she was eight after her dad killed himself.”
His mouth d
rops open in shock. Scrubbing a hand over his scalp, he shakes his head in dismay. “She never told me that.”
“She doesn’t like to talk about it. Anyway, we didn’t get off to the best start and then you were interested in her which only made me angrier. Looking back, I think I was jealous because the crush I had on her as a boy was still there and I didn’t want it to be. Especially when I knew, out of the two of us, you’re the better choice.”
Surprise colors his face, but it’s true. I’m not the best choice for her, or anyone, but it doesn’t change my feelings.
“Things changed when I insisted she come home with me. It was practically her second home when we were little and when I heard she was staying on campus for Thanksgiving I…” I look down at my hands, the knuckles turning white where I clench my fists. “I couldn’t let her be alone. It didn’t make any sense to me at the time, or at least I didn’t want it to make sense, but things changed with her there. For both of us. And I’m fucking sorry you were caught in the middle of that.”
Swallowing thickly I force myself to meet his eyes, hoping he can see the pain in mine for fucking everything up.
“You care about her,” he states, his eyes surprised—but there’s something else there too, almost like he’s pleased. Maybe he’s just happy to know the great Mascen Wade isn’t completely stone cold. Rory is the one who likes to claim a vampire, and maybe I was, but that was before her. Now, the organ in my chest is very much alive.
“I love her.”
The surprise on his face turns to downright shock. “Are you fucking serious?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” I feel it, the truth settling inside me.
I hate Aurora ‘Rory’ ‘Princess’ Abbott so much that I fucking love her.
“Why the hell are you telling me and not her?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
Bad Boys Break Hearts Page 27
