by Brynn Hale
“Carr, you got just a second, I need your opinion on something.” Alyx’s request isn’t very well veiled to me, and I straighten my back.
“Sure. Baby, I’ll be right back.” I squeeze her hand and I feel she’s reluctant to let go.
I walk around the skirted table and follow him to the front of the van.
“I saw the new estimates for the WorldFever project. Did you mean to pad it?”
I huff. “It’s not padded, it’s real. That last one wasn’t reasonable.”
He blows out a long breath. “I don’t expect too much from the team, do I?”
“Yes. I fact you do. That last project was unreasonable to think we could get it done in that period of time. I didn’t sleep for forty-eight hours. You always said that our health came first, but you insisted it had to get done. I feel like you’re starting to lose sight of why you started the business, Alyx.”
His jaw tightens and he shoves his hands in his hoodie pocket. “Okay, maybe that’s legitimate. I need to have a little more perspective and I trust you to tell me the truth.”
“Even if it’s hard to hear, right?”
“Sure.”
“Then the truth is, you weren’t you on that last project. You only saw dollar signs. Sure, you still catered in lunches and did your usual niceties, but you made all of us feel like we weren’t working fast enough…hard enough…or just enough.”
He runs a hand over his head and leans back against the van grill. “What’s happening with Marley?” he asks, changing the subject.
I know what he means and at this moment, I don’t think it’s any of his business. “We’re shopping a farmer’s market.”
He crosses his arms on his chest. “You know if you take the CTO position you can’t be dating someone in your department. You’ll never have the respect of the others on the team.”
“And that’s why I’m not going to accept the position.”
Marley
I heard him. Both of them. Carr is giving up his dream for me. He’d told me in one of our private gaming sessions he was ready to be promoted, but he wasn’t sure his boss was looking at him for the opportunity. I gave him some advice to hang in there. And now he has the prospect and I’m the one thing standing in the way for his dream to come true.
I back away slowly.
Sloan smiles. “Everything okay?” She is probably as sweet as her cupcakes, but my chest rolls with fear.
“It will be. It was nice meeting you, Sloan” I pull out my phone as I walk away.
She calls out, “You forgot your cupcake!”
But I don’t turn around. I just keep walking.
Marley: I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I’m not what you need. I want you to be happy.
I move toward a parking garage and my phone starts ringing. Call after call. I can hear his voice calling out for me. I stand with my back to a big pillar. I lift my phone as it buzzes with a text.
Carr: Please, answer your phone. I don’t know what happened, but please talk to me. We can figure this out, baby.
I took a Lyft home and sat on my couch staring into space for four hours. How could I ever go back to Morgan Tech? I just couldn’t. I couldn’t see him again. I couldn’t see him and know I could have been his. I certainly couldn’t work under him when I’d actually been under him.
Tears form in the wells of my eyes, but I fight them back.
I text my boss at the Digital Treasures company.
Marley: Things not working out at Morgan Tech. Can I come back?
It doesn’t take thirty seconds and I have what I knew I’d have. It was safe. It was a sure thing.
Jim: Sure. Come on in tomorrow and we’ll get you set up.
Marley: Actually, I’m going to take two weeks and get some rest in and perspective, then I’ll be back renewed.
Jim: Take your time. We’ll be here. Glad to have you back. We know what we have in you.
I grab my computer and type out a message to Alyx.
To: Alyx
From: Marley
Consider this my resignation effective today. Thanks for the opportunity.
Sincerely, Marley Wyss
I close my computer and sink into the couch, laying on my side. I pull a blanket over my shoulder and my eyes flicker. It’s been a big weekend.
And I let the tears fall. And they don’t stop.
8
Carr
“Just let me have her address, please…” I beg Rikki in HR. “I’ll bring you coffee every day for a month.”
“Carr, I have a heart condition. Caffeine could very genuinely kill me.”
“I’ll mow your lawn!”
“I live in a condo.”
“I’ll babysit your kids.” I’m digging deep.
“They’re twenty-one and twenty-six.”
“I’ll babysit their kids.”
“I’m not a grandmother yet. No, Carr. As I’ve told you for the last two days, I can’t give out that information. Ms. Wyss was an employee, but she’s no longer an employee.”
Two days since I last saw her. I remember how she smelled, how she tasted, and how she sounded…for now. And every moment I fear that I’ll forget, but I can’t let myself.
I plop down in my chair in my office after being kicked out of Rikki’s office…again.
Alyx steps into the doorway. “Got a few?”
“Sure.”
“How are you?”
“Shitty. How are you?” I know I truly look it. I haven’t slept in two days. I feel like the walking dead. I’ve tried calling and texting, again and again. She probably thinks I’m a stalker now. “I just don’t understand.”
Alyx closes the door. “Have I told you about how Sloan and I met?”
“No. But I’m not really in the mood to hear how it worked out for someone else, boss. No offense, but I can’t even get her to return my phone calls, it’s not looking too good.”
He holds a piece of paper in his hand. He sets on the edge of my desk. “Do you want to know her address?”
I stare at the torn edges of the paper. “Yes.”
“It’s on this paper.”
I start to reach, and he pulls it back.
Alyx shakes his head. “Not so fast, Carr. There are somethings you need to know.”
I rock back in my leather chair. “Like?” That paper holds what I need to know and that’s really all I think I need.
He tells me how he and Sloan met, how they had a lovely weekend and then shit went south. It sounds familiar.
“Now, set aside that I think Marley was a little scared when she came on board here. And remember she told all of us that she’s stubborn and a creature of habit…”
“She never said creature of habit.”
“She did in the interview. It was one of the things that I liked because I’m the same.” He leans forward. “Sloan thinks that she overheard us talking about you taking the CTO position.”
I rub a hand over my face, the growth like sandpaper. “And she probably heard your threat that I couldn’t take it and still be with her.”
“And she made it easy for you to accept it.”
“No, she made it even easier for me to turn it down.”
“But you can have both now.”
“No, I don’t want the job. You’re not listening, Alyx. I never wanted the job. At one time, maybe I thought I wanted the job. But now I know I want balance in my life. You’re going to have expectations that I can’t meet and honestly don’t want to. I want to have a family. I want to travel. I want to have a family with Marley.”
He sets the paper on my desk. “Give her some time, Carr. If you go busting back into her life, she’s going to always wonder if you gave up the opportunity for her.”
“But I’m not giving up anything. I have a job I love, and I have a woman I love.”
“I hope she’ll see it that way, too.”
I stare at the piece of paper. I told her she was in charge of her destiny. I told her she was bril
liant. But even brilliant people make mistakes.
And for days the piece of paper sits there on the corner of my desk. Every day I reach for it and pull back. It’s not time yet.
On Friday night of the second week, I hop onto my gaming system. I need to wreak some havoc for an hour…or ten.
Morgan Tech took everyone out, but I didn’t go. I didn’t want to act happy. I wanted to feel what I was actually feeling. The world is different now and I’m back to hopeless.
I go into Revenge of R’lyeh. Maybe she’ll be there. 4KidsNoPatience is in there.
“Hey, 4Kids…how are you?”
“Hey, StangMan. I’m good. The kids went down with no arguments today. We went to the zoo and that wore them out. And me. Only a couple games and I’ll be out, too.”
“Sounds like a great day.”
“You don’t sound like—shit. Let me get this corpse.” She takes one out. I work on the two behind me and then she spins around to help.
“You don’t sound like yourself,” she says.
“I’m little bummed.”
Another player steps into the conversation. “Hey, if you want to be chatting it up, go have fuckin’ coffee. Otherwise, play the damn game.”
I growl. “Shut the fuck up! You know, maybe if you stepped outside of your mother’s basement, MomsBasement24, you’d realize that there’s more to life than playing video games. Maybe you’d get laid and find out that having someone is better than playing with yourself!”
There’s silence.
“Whoa…dude,” Dexx’s voice cuts in. “I’m coming over…”
“No, Dexx. I don’t need a damn babysitter. I just want to kill something! Can’t you all just understand that?!”
Dexx chuckles. “Okay, team, you heard him. He needs this. Let’s do it!”
And fifteen minutes later we’ve successful destroyed the catacombs and wiped the ancient city of R’yleh of evil. But I don’t feel better. I feel worse. All I want to do is go to her, but she hasn’t even given me one sign.
“Okay, another game?” I ask.
Everyone agrees.
“How about something new?” a voice chimes in and my heart pounds. She’s changed her handle—it’s allowed. It’s now, Dr3am5C0m3Tru3. Dreams Come True.
I don’t say anything.
4Kids pipes up, “What are you thinking?”
“Something new. Everyone check their DM’s. I’ve sent you an invite to a new game that I designed this last week.”
I check the direct message and there is a link. “Should we trust this link, Dreams?” I ask.
“It’s up to you, StangMan, but I trust you’ll make the right decision.”
My heart clops in my chest. I open the link and it downloads to my system. It says “LoveQuest.”
“It’s a game where you have to search for the perfect person for you. You enter in some details about yourself and the system will set you up with someone who might be a good fit for you in real life, too. Good luck, everyone.”
I answer the multiple-choice questions—all hundred or more of them.
Question 26. What’s your idea of a great night with your special someone?
Staying home and watching a video
Going out dancing
Dinner and a night of making love
Straight to bed and bow-chicka-wow-wow
Question 99. Your color of eyes.
Blue
Brown
Green
Gray that melts into molten silver during sex
I chuckle.
“What the hell?” I hear Dexx in the headset. “Molten
silver?”
“Just fill it out!” Marley says and I smile.
I clear my throat. “I’m finished.”
“Okay, then just choose the ‘Give me a Match’ button and wait for the magic to happen. You won’t know who you’re playing the game with until the end. The woman must initiate contact after.”
I wait and a cartoon heart pulses in the middle of the screen.
It finally reads. “You have a match. Create your avatar.”
I select my guy and make him look as close to my own looks as possible.
The game starts and we have to search each other out through a maze with evil gargoyles and deathly cupids trying to kill us. I round a corner and I still my character. Her avatar is almost a replica of her. I walk slowly foward, trying to go for suave and chill, but the system’s a little glitchy and I come off as more like John Wayne with a wedgie.
“Hello.” Her voice settles into my headset. I got a new one…with hope.
“What happened?” I ask.
“I couldn’t let you pass up the opportunity—”
“I didn’t want the job, I wanted… I want you.”
“But you told me once that you wanted the promotion. I remember. It was during a game of Ecliptomania and you said that you weren’t happy with your job and you hoped you’d get a promotion.”
I think back. “And then things changed, Marley. You came into my life. You entered and all I could see in my future was you and maybe a child or two…a dog or cat…but always you.”
The silence lingers and I think that I’ve said too much. And then I jump when there’s a knock at my door.
“I…I gotta get the door. I’m sure it’s Dexx. He never fuckin’ listens. Just stay on the line.”
There’s still quiet on the other end, and I wonder if she’s offline now.
I open the front door and my body tingles. There she is, headset on and player in her hand. I stick my head out into the hallway.
Aine gives a wave. “Have a good night, boss.” She lives in the same building, just upstairs. That night at the restaurant she was shaking off my giving her a ride home. She’s one hell of wingwoman.
I shake my head at her but come back with a smile to stare at the woman who has changed my life. “Hey.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Let’s not be sorry. Let’s just be happy, baby.”
She steps forward and the controller bounces off the tile in the hallway as her hands wrap around my neck. “I missed you so much.”
“So much that you had to create a video game to get me back?”
“That was something to do. I took two weeks off and I can’t stop working apparently.”
“And you’re back working for Digital Treasures?”
“Maybe. I actually had a meeting with an investor for my game and he’s thinking about it, but I think that he’s doing to give me some seed money to make it better. I’m hopeful that I can work from home again soon.”
“And what’s that mean for us?”
“It means that if you want to take that job, you can, and not because I believe you should, but because you’d be good at it, Carr.”
“But I submersed myself in my job once before and it ended with my wife boning the delivery guy.”
She laughs. “I don’t’ think that’ll happen here, Carr.”
“But you already left me once without telling me why.”
“And that was wrong. Aine and Dexx helped me to see that.”
“They did?”
She smiles. “Dexx might act like he’s a stone soldier, but he’s not. He’s a softie and he wants you to be happy.”
“Was he in on this?”
She smiles. “The whole team was.”
“Even Mom’s Basement Guy?”
“Yeah, and played his part perfectly.”
“I’d like to play the part of your boyfriend, Marley.”
She sucks in a breath. “I’d like that. In fact, I’d love it.”
“I love you.”
I slide my lips onto hers. She still tastes like sweet honey and hope.
“Did that game really match us up?”
“Yeah, it did.”
“You were kinda taking a chance there, weren’t you?”
She shakes her head. “No, I knew you were my match, I challenged the Universe to make it so and it did.”
Challenge accepted.
Epilogue
Marley
Thirty months later…
I pant through the pain. Now I know why doctors say to wait two years before having another kid—it’s not just for your body to heal, it’s so you forget how much pain it was the first time. And I remember. God, do I remember. And I feel it.
I lean with my elbows on the bed.
“Here comes another one.”
I roll my eyes. “I know, Carr. I can feel them.”
He’s reading the monitor like it’s a sports report and he’s giving the RBI of his favorite players on the Red Sox team.
“Sorry…right. Sorry, baby.” He rubs my back while he’s wearing our first child on his chest.
That’s Henry, some name from his past that he has a special fondness for. I didn’t ask because I loved the name. I rub my stomach as baby girl inside of me Emery gets squeezed by another contraction.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Just hold on.” And like that I can tell that she’s dropped into the canal and things are gonna get real hairy real fast. “Go get the doctor!”
In five minutes, my feet are propped up and I’m hearing the screams of a brand new life in the world.
My husband kisses my head and I lay back, gulping in breaths.
“Last one?” he asks.
“Not even close.”
He winks. “That’s my girl.”
I’ll have a herd if I have my way. Of course, I remember 4KidsNoPatience and I think that three is probably where my patience might meet it’s limits.
Things have changed. I’m the head of my own gaming company now. Quest Spencer Productions. My LoveQuest game was number 2 on the charts behind Revenge of R’yleh for the last two years. It’s just another dream that I never knew I had but made happen.
Soon Emery is wrapped up and in my arms. Henry’s got his daddy’s dimpled chin and oval face and Emery well she’s got rolls on rolls on rolls and her chubby rosy cheeks are all mine.
Aine comes in and takes Henry for his afternoon nap. “We’ll be back this evening. She’s adorable, Marley.” She gives Emery a kiss on her head and then heads out with my baby boy on her hip, adjusting for her own growing bump.
