by Sarina Dorie
“That’s . . . um, nice, but I can teach. I’m fine. I’m not going to be able to sleep.”
Thatch nodded to the steaming mug on the tray. “The tea, it’s your mum’s sleepy-time recipe. I thought it might help.”
I sipped at the tea, noting the lavender and chamomile masking the valerian root. The stevia leaf added a hint of sweetness to the bitter tea.
I smiled. “It is just like my mom makes it. Thank you.” I hadn’t even known she’d told him her recipe.
Khaba stared at him openly.
“What?” Thatch snapped. “Mrs. Lawrence showed me how to make it when she visited Clarissa after Julian Thistledown attacked her.”
“What do you know?” Khaba said. “It appears Felix Thatch is capable of being nice to another living creature.”
Thatch rolled his eyes. I sipped at the tea and finished my soup. No one spoke. I didn’t think it could get more awkward. The floorboards creaked as Thatch shifted his weight. No doubt he was waiting for Khaba to leave. Khaba was waiting for Thatch to leave. As much as I wanted a private word with my boyfriend, I knew it was unlikely to happen.
Thatch cleared his throat. “Might I have a word with Miss Lawrence? Alone.”
Khaba looked to me. “You can say no if you want to.”
I hated how he was treating Thatch, especially because Khaba thought he was doing something nice for me. He thought he was protecting me.
“Will you let me say yes?” I asked him.
He wet his lips, his gaze flickering from Thatch to me.
A wind rustled my hair. A swirling black void spiraled in the room in front of the door. The odor of cigarette smoke, alcohol, and perfume whipped around me. Khaba stood. Thatch stepped away from the wall.
Vega emerged from the portal. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Khaba, Thatch, and me all in the room.
Thatch raised an eyebrow. “Ah, Miss Bloodmire, so nice to see you. We were just talking about you moments ago.”
Vega’s eyes narrowed. “Were you?” She ogled Thatch’s crotch. I knew about their previous relationship, but the gesture was off-putting.
Khaba stood, offering her a gentlemanly bow. “What impeccable timing. We need you to cover an extra class today. I apologize for the short notice, but we’re all a team around here.” He looked over her black sequined dress and smoky eye makeup, a sly smile on his face. “By the way, I love the dress. I wish I could discuss fashion with you, but I have a few concerns about other matters.”
She turned to me. “You told him. That’s why he’s here, isn’t he?” She pointed to Khaba.
Khaba stepped into her path, blocking her from closing in on me. “Told me what?”
Vega stomped toward me. “Snitches get stitches, you little whore!”
I dropped my spoon on the tray with a clatter. I shouldn’t have been surprised by her language by now, but her choice of words at the moment was conspicuously fitting for the occasion.
Thatch stepped out of the shadows. “That is enough from you. Miss Lawrence has had a difficult night. She doesn’t need you and your temper making things worse.”
Vega drew her wand.
“Out in the hall, Miss Bloodmire.” Khaba snapped his fingers and Vega’s wand landed in his other hand. He waved at her, and her body twisted around, walking clumsily like a marionette as he seized control of her body.
“I’ll get back at you both!” she shouted over her shoulder. “You were bound to secrecy, Thatch.”
Khaba raised an eyebrow at Thatch.
“I have no idea what she’s talking about,” Thatch said.
Khaba walked Vega out. “How interesting for you to show up now at this hour from what I assume is an off-campus excursion. As dean of discipline and security at this school, I believe you owe me an explanation.” He closed the door.
Vega’s voice carried through the wood. “I wasn’t doing anything I wasn’t supposed to, unlike some people.” She paused. “They’ve been fucking, haven’t they?”
I pushed my bowl away. Leave it to Vega to ruin my appetite. I forced myself to drink my tea. Thatch sat down beside me.
“It’s none of your business if they were,” Khaba said. “Just answer the question. Where have you been?”
“In my classroom, preparing lessons,” she said.
“At four in the morning? Don’t lie to me, Miss Bloodmire.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, I was out.”
Khaba’s voice rose. “What do you mean, you’ve been ‘out’? Define ‘out’? Just how did you get out of a building I warded myself to keep children from escaping. You do understand, I created those wards to keep malicious Fae from getting in.”
Thatch seated himself on Vega’s bed across from me. He placed his hand on mine. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“You should just tell Josie and Khaba,” I said.
“No,” he said. “The more people who know you’re my weakness, the more dangerous it is for you. It’s bad enough Vega knows.”
I squeezed his hand. “I don’t want them to treat you like some kind of pariah.”
“I don’t care what they think of me. I only care what you think of me.” He slipped an arm around my shoulders. “Tell me if you still love me. Has this changed anything between us?”
I shook my head to the last question and then nodded to his first question. His baffled expression told me I wasn’t being clear.
“I love you. What happened to us hasn’t changed that. I just wish you would tell me the truth about everything.”
“I can’t.”
“Is it one of those promise curses? You can’t tell me because you gave someone your word and if you break your vow, your face will break out in boils?”
“No. Boils on my face wouldn’t keep me from telling you the truth. That one would only work on Vega. . . . Speaking of which, I believe we’re about to see how they look on her.”
“Why do you say that?”
“We came to an agreement on certain matters. She broke her word and spoke of our relationship in Khaba’s presence.” He nodded to the bowl on the tray. “Are you done?”
I lifted the mug. He emptied the contents of the bowl onto Vega’s bedspread. His lips curved upward in satisfaction.
I shook my head at him. “You just made more work for the brownies to do. They’re going to have to clean that while she’s teaching today.”
“No, they won’t. They have other duties this early. She’ll get to sleep in a wet bed tonight.”
He scooted closer and hugged me.
Khaba’s voice rose outside. “Do you mean to tell me you not only found a weakness in my warding and didn’t report it, but then exacerbated it by puncturing it with Celestor magic, and using it for a rendezvous with your latest boyfriend?”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s how the Fae have been getting in?”
Thatch shrugged. “I suppose it makes sense.”
“So what if I have a boyfriend, and I slipped out to see him?” Vega demanded. “They were fucking in there, weren’t they? That’s far worse than any school rule I broke. That’s why you came in, wasn’t it? Otherwise you wouldn’t have wondered where I was. I wasn’t covering for them. They’re just opportunistic little fuckers.” She howled and stomped around.
I wondered what Khaba was doing to her out there.
“Miss Bloodmire, close your mouth. I don’t want to hear it,” Khaba said. “Your selfish actions have put two of the teachers at this school in danger, not to mention the students. You need to show me where the hole in my warding is.”
She murmured something quiet.
The door swung open again. Thatch scooted away from me.
Vega’s face was covered in boils. I stared in horror.
She pointed at Thatch again. “See, look how close they’re sitting. I told you, they’re fucking each other.” More boils ruptured on her face.
“It looks like they’re drinking t
ea and talking quietly.” Khaba strode over to her wardrobe and opened it. “Get yourself changed into professional attire. You’re coming with me.”
She waved a hand at her face. “I suppose you think this is funny, Thatch.”
“Not at all. It looks like you’ve come down with a case of the pox.” He spoke in a cool monotone. “That wouldn’t be the effects of an oath you’ve broken, would it?”
“Fuck you. I know where you’ll be getting boils.” She eyed his crotch again. Her earlier ogling now made more sense. She thought he had broken the oath first. She thought he had told on her, and he’d broken out in boils where it truly would hurt.
Thatch raised an eyebrow. “Every time you slander me, you are going to be cursed with more boils. I suggest you stop while you’re ahead.”
The stream of profanity that escaped her mouth would have made a sailor blush. Khaba wrenched a drawer open from her wardrobe. A bundle of assorted clothes flew through the air at her. She caught most of them. Khaba pushed her out.
“Fucktards,” Vega said.
Khaba shook his head at her. He glanced back at Thatch. “Lock the door when you leave. Miss Vega will not be returning until lunch break.”
Khaba closed the door. I was relieved to have a moment of privacy, even if I could hear Khaba’s muffled voice just on the other side of the door. Thatch removed a vial of liquid from his breast pocket and set it on my tray. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
“What’s that?” I asked. “Is that to erase my memories?”
“No. It’s a potion for other . . . purposes. We usually use condoms, but we didn’t this time, and I came inside you. It’s preventive medicine.” He pulled at a loose thread at the edge of Vega’s blanket. “I considered adding it to your tea but thought I should offer it to you separately.”
That was considerate of him. He remembered how important it was to me to use protection because I had told him I wasn’t ready for children. “Thank you.” I uncorked the bottle and drank the bitter potion. I washed it down with the last of my tea.
Thatch removed the tray from my lap and set it on Vega’s bed. He stepped across the room and locked the door.
He toed the fringed edge of the Oriental rug. “Will you let me cuddle with you until you fall asleep?”
I nodded. “I’d like that, but I’m not going to be able to fall asleep.”
He tucked the blankets around me and lay on top of the covers, spooning behind me.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“I know. You told me earlier. You don’t have to keep apologizing. I’m fine.”
He nodded and held me tighter. I felt safe in his arms, comfortable. I felt as though I could be myself with him, and he could be himself with me.
My usual hurdles of fear that kept me from asking him the truth must have been dissolved by greater fears from the hours before. “Earlier, everything you said when we were with the queen—it was all lies? You were just being mean to me because it was an act? You don’t think I’m too . . . stupid to learn magic.”
“Yes. All of it was a lie.” He laughed, burying his face in my hair.
“What?” I asked, taken aback that he found any of that amusing.
“I was mortified I might have hurt you, that you would blame me for putting you in such an uncomfortable position, and you might fear me now. I thought you would resent me and some small part of you might assume I wanted to force myself on you and harm you because of my affinity.” He laughed again. “But all you’ve been fixated on is that I called you a magical dunce?”
I giggled too. “You shush.”
We lapsed into silence. I considered his fears.
“I know you didn’t want to hurt me,” I said. “And I wouldn’t call any of that . . . forced or nonconsensual. I agreed I’d do it so she wouldn’t do anything to either of us.” So that she wouldn’t kill him or hurt him. “The Raven Queen coerced us. I’m just glad it was you, not someone else.”
He kissed the back of my head. Whether it was the warmth of the embrace or the sleepy-time tea, I drifted off.
I woke briefly when the door creaked open. Thatch’s arms remained secure around me. I glanced at the light peeking through the window. For the briefest moment I panicked that I was going to be late for school. Then I remembered I got to sleep in.
“It’s seven forty-nine,” Khaba whispered. “First period is going to start in eleven minutes, and you have a meeting.”
“No, I don’t,” I said groggily, not opening my eyes.
Khaba cleared his throat.
Thatch rolled away from me. “Merlin’s balls.”
Khaba’s voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear it. “It appears Felix Thatch has a soul after all.”
I slept until lunch but taught my afternoon classes as I normally would have. After school, I had Art Club, but I left the kids to run it and ventured to the dungeon. I found Thatch in his office.
He stood upon seeing me. “I imagine you’re here to inquire about whether I sent your evidence to the Raven Queen. I have, and she has accepted it.”
That meant I had until the end of the school year before the Raven Queen might attack my friends and family. I should have felt relief, but all I could think about was him.
“Actually, I came to see you,” I said.
He closed the door that lead to the dungeon. “It would be best for you to not come down here this week. It will look suspicious.”
“What do you mean?”
“It would be in your best interest to act as though you hate me. That way, Khaba won’t think we’re romantically involved.” His face was paler than usual. He looked tired.
“He caught you in my bed this morning. He must suspect. Just get it over with and tell him.”
“No.”
“I’ll tell him.”
“I’ll hex your tongue.”
I waved a hand at my face. “Are you going to give me a plague of boils like Vega? Because you do realize, you’re the one who has to look at this face more than I do.”
He laughed then. “Why can’t you just be complacent and docile and at least pretend to be scared of my threats?”
I grinned. “You wouldn’t like me if I did, would you?”
“No.” He took my shoulders and stared into my eyes. “You will humor me, won’t you? Will you promise me not to tell Khaba?”
“I promise.”
I didn’t promise not to tell Josie.
I found Josie weaving at a loom in her classroom with her after-school club. She chattered away about natural dying techniques with herbs until she saw me. She stood and excused herself to talk to me out in the hall.
“How are you?” she asked. “Have you recovered? Khaba wouldn’t let me come near you.”
“I slept in. I’m fine, really.”
Students stared at us. I closed the door. “Would you come back to my room and let me talk to you for a bit?”
She opened the door to her classroom and told the students to behave. Had there been thirty-five students, she would never have gotten away with that, but five was a reasonable number to leave alone.
All the while, as we walked back to my dorm room, I worried how she would react when I told her the truth. I wouldn’t be able to tell it all to her, like how long we had been secretly dating, but I was confident this would be for the best. I wouldn’t live in fear of her finding out. She would stop being so cruel to Thatch. She was my friend. Surely she would understand.
I sat down on my bed. “I need to tell you something.”
“About Thatch?” She sat down across from me.
“Yes. I need you to stop accusing him of . . . things. He didn’t do anything I didn’t want. We both agreed we would do it so the Raven Queen wouldn’t kill us. It’s really hard for him, and you aren’t making it any easier.” It wasn’t my place to recount snippets of his childhood that he’d confessed to me over time, but I suspected the incident had res
urrected his demons.
The corners of her mouth turned down, and her eyes turned pitying. “That’s just what he wants you to believe. If you weren’t trying to see the best in everyone, you’d see he’s a heartless bastard.”
“He isn’t heartless.” My words came out in a rush. “I’m in love with him. Don’t tell me he’s brainwashed me or cast a spell on me.”
She eyed me doubtfully. “Okay. You’re in love with him. That just makes this even worse. He took advantage of you.”
“No.” I threw my hands up in exasperation. “I already told you it wasn’t like that.”
“Then what is it like?”
I drew in a deep breath. “He’s nice to me—but only when no one else is around because he doesn’t want anyone else to know. He doesn’t want the Raven Queen to find out about us because she’ll torture me to get him to do things for her. Or she’ll torture him to make me do things. He’s afraid of anyone finding out because he doesn’t want anyone else to get tortured by the Raven Queen.”
She crossed her arms. “Are you telling me he’s the boyfriend that Fae threatened to kill?”
“Yes.”
“And he’s the reason you’ve been too busy to hang out with me?”
“Yes. No. I haven’t been too busy to hang out with you.” Already I could tell this wasn’t going well. “I wasn’t trying to neglect you, but yes, I have been secretly spending time with him.”
She scrunched up her face. “Does Khaba know about this? I bet he’s still looking for an excuse to fire Thatch.”
“No! Don’t tell him! I promised I wouldn’t tell him. They don’t like each other.”
“No one likes Thatch.”
“I like him.”
She sighed. “Vega is right. You are a fucktard.”
The insult hurt, mostly because it was Josie saying it, and I cared what she thought of me, whereas I was used to most of the insults coming out of Vega’s mouth.
“Will you promise me not to say anything to Khaba?” I asked.
She crossed her arms. “Fine. Whatever.”
