by Sarina Dorie
He smiled pleasantly. “You aren’t going back to that grubby tavern where you might get attacked again. We have food and dancing here.” He cupped my chin in his hands, examining my face again. “I can’t place my finger on what it is, but I didn’t capture the shape of your nose. Look in a mirror and tell me. I’m not an artist like you.”
He walked me over to the giant mirror hanging on the wall in an elaborate frame. I couldn’t see anything wrong with my nose. When I inhaled, I breathed easily now. My nostrils and nasal septum all appeared intact. In the candlelight, I thought my freckles even looked the same. Too bad he hadn’t improved that by erasing them.
A man came in, and Elric excused himself for a moment to join the man in the adjoining antechamber. Because there were plenty of transparent stones in the walls, I naturally spied on what Elric was doing. He kept all his clothes on, so I didn’t feel that guilty about it. Josie watched silently with me.
The man placed his hands on Elric’s shoulders, massaging him like a professional. I knew the servant was Witchkin the moment I tasted his magic in the air. He sent his energy into Elric, willingly giving up his essence and power to his employer. A little shiver went through me as I witnessed Elric harvesting the other man’s magic for his own personal use.
It wasn’t the first time I’d seen this method of transference, but the other times it had been Elric’s Fae guards giving him power and magic. Somehow it felt more equal for a Fae to give to a Fae. It lacked the same equality for the lower social caste to be required to give to an employer. It reminded me of vampirism.
Elric returned a moment later while the servant slipped away. Elric’s cheeks glowed with rosy health.
He clapped his hands together. “Now, if you’re to dine with us, we must have you in the proper attire. Tonight our food, music, and clothes match the bygone era we are celebrating.”
“What’s that? The era of human sacrifices?” Pinky grumbled.
I shook my head at him. He was walking a dangerous line, insulting our host.
Elric ignored Pinky. “Here’s where I play fairy godmother.” Elric winked at me.
He held a hand out to Josie. Reluctantly she took it. “You are the easiest to dress. I hope you don’t mind if I borrow a little bit of your magic for this.” He pinched his fingers together in front of her abdomen and pulled as though he were tugging on a string. She gasped and clamped her hands over her belly.
Her clothes disappeared, and she stood before us in her tighty-whitey underpants and a beige bra. She shifted her hands over her chest and squealed.
“Elric!” I said, about to reprimand him.
He had never been good at boundaries.
He waved his hand again, and a ghost of a white chemise appeared, the fabric growing more tangible by the moment. Another layer appeared, what I thought was a corset at first, but as I watched, I realized the bodice was more for the upper half of the torso. It had Regency-style stays, reminding me of a sports bra with boning. Another white layer took shape over the stays, the sleeves puffy and the waist high. The fabric slowly wove itself around her before our eyes, shifting to a pale lavender. I stared in wonder at the layers of lace.
I thought he was done, but he made another motion with his hand, and her hair swept itself up into a chignon. Shimmering pearls soundlessly rolled across the floor at our feet toward Josie. I stayed perfectly still, not wanting to slip. The white beads scurried up the length of her dress and placed themselves across the fabric, clustering at the collar and waist, more scattering throughout her hair. They shifted and twinkled across the gown.
I stepped in closer, realizing what I’d taken for pearls were small albino spiders. Their iridescent carapaces caught the light as they danced across fabric so fine and thin it might have been woven from spider silk.
Josie stared down at herself, her expression somewhere between horror and awe. Pinky stared with wide eyes.
“Well, what do you think?” Elric asked. “I can’t take credit for the idea. The design came from an eighteenth-century tailor we invited as a guest once. He gifted us with the most inspiring gowns.”
Josie stood there stiffly. “I’m afraid to move. I might crush them.”
“They’ll be fine. They move when you move.” He escorted her over to a chair. He turned to Pinky. “Sorry about this old chap, but this is a Fae manor. As progressive as I am, sasquatches are not considered suitable dinner guests.”
Pinky shook his head. “No. I don’t want you to—”
Elric was already waving his hand at Pinky. He grinned, oblivious to Pinky’s horror. The sasquatch teacher’s hair shrank and receded. Pinky yelped and grabbed a pillow from the bed to cover himself.
“I don’t want to be bald and naked!” Pinky yelled. “This is shameful! I’m hairy and proud of it.” He shook and turned away. He sat on the bed, trying to cover himself with the blankets.
Elric closed his eyes in concentration.
“You’re torturing him.” I shook Elric’s arm. “Don’t do that to him. Let him keep his hair.”
Josie hurried over to Pinky, placing an arm around him protectively. “He doesn’t have to eat dinner here. He can go back to the school. We all can go back.”
“Please!” Pinky begged. “Don’t do this to me.”
Elric pointed a stern finger at Pinky. “Really, don’t be such a baby. It’s simply a glamour.”
Pinky hid his face under a large hand. “I can’t be seen like this. I don’t even know what I look like without hair.”
All I could see was pale skin. He was surprisingly buff. I didn’t know if that was part of the glamour or that’s what he looked like under all that hair.
The ghost of long underwear and then black trousers and a shirt appeared over his rippling muscles, slowly becoming more opaque. A waistcoat and a frock coat materialized over that. He was still turned away, sitting on the bed when the top hat solidified on his head. Pinky kept running his hands over his face, whimpering.
“Let’s see it,” Elric said.
“No, I’m unfit to be seen without my hair.”
Josie was only able to reach him to hug him around the shoulder because she stood while he sat hunched. “Pinky? Do you want me to get you a mirror? Will that make you feel better?”
“I don’t want to see.”
“Will you let me look?” she asked. “I’ll tell you if it’s that bad.”
I remembered my mom asking me the same thing when I was a child after I’d skinned my knees and it had hurt so much I hadn’t wanted to take my hands off them.
Pinky’s shoulders shook. I was afraid he might be crying.
I glared at Elric. “You can be so cruel sometimes. Why do you have to do this to people?”
“It’s not like he’s Samson, and I’ve cut off his mangy hair. The enchantment is an illusion to reveal what’s underneath. That’s all.”
I looked back to Josie and Pinky. Her hand rested on his cheek, gazing up at him in wonder. His brow was heavy and covered in thick eyebrows that had been the dark umber of his fur. His hair was long, tied back in a ponytail. The lack of fur on his face, and the cut of his Mr. Darcy sideburns showed off his square jaw and the sharp angles of his chin and cheeks.
He was striking under all that fur. I didn’t know if anyone else’s eyes saw the Regency version of Magic Mike that I was seeing.
“Wow,” I said.
“Is this what you really look like?” Josie asked.
“I’m afraid so.” Elric sighed. “I’d have smoothed out his rugged features if I had the time or energy.”
Coming from someone who looked like a boyish Legolas, I didn’t doubt that was his facial preference.
Pinky bit his lip. I had never even thought about how old he was before. His high voice made him seem so much younger than the man before me.
“You’re gorgeous.” Josie skimmed her fingers over his face. “You should check yourself out in a mirror.”
> Pinky’s turmoil turned to confusion. He stared into Josie’s eyes. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
I’d never seen Josie stare so intently at him before. A shy smile tugged at her lips. “I never knew you were so hot under all that fur.”
Pinky’s lips twitched. Delight at her reaction shone in his eyes, even if he didn’t want Elric to know it. I suspected he liked some of that attention from Josie.
Elric crossed his arms, an amused smirk on his face. “Don’t get used to it. This spell won’t last past midnight. I’ve performed more than my share of miracles tonight.” He turned to me. “But I have one more.”
I put up my hands to stop him. “No! You are not going to tear off my clothes with magic. I’m dressing myself.”
“Of course. You’ve made this clear to me before.”
Another knock at the door.
“Perfect timing.” With a flick of his fingers, the door opened.
The manservant held a goblet on a silver platter. He gave a curt bow. “Your energy drink, Your Highness.”
I had a feeling he wasn’t talking about a Rockstar or Monster.
Elric tipped back the goblet and gulped it down.
“Your wife has been asking after you,” the servant said.
I suspected he meant Elric’s Fae wife. I’d only met her once before.
Elric sighed in exasperation. “Tell Princess Quenylda I’ll be down momentarily. I trust her to be a capable hostess without me.”
Elric turned back to me and tucked my hand into the crook of his elbow as he escorted me to the corner of the room where a changing screen stood. I didn’t remember a dressing screen being there before. A gossamer gown and undergarments hung from hangers hooked onto the top of the frame.
I opened my mouth, wanting to thank him. I stopped abruptly, not wanting to say the words that would put me in his debt. I cleared my throat.
“It’s nothing. But if you want to show your gratitude, a kiss would be welcome.” He tapped the side of his cheek.
Thatch would be angry if he knew. Maybe that’s why I did it. I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
“Did you notice I didn’t turn my head to steal a kiss like I once would have?” He sounded proud, like a child.
“I did notice. That’s an improvement. Good job.” I patted his head, treating him like a precocious student. “Is this because you’re trying to impress me or because of your devotion to your fiancée?”
“Neither. My own special reasons.” He handed me the chemise. “Let me know if you need assistance,” he said with a flirtatious smile.
I managed the undergarments on my own. Buttoning the back of the dress was another matter. I peeked out from behind the screen. Josie sat next to Pinky, talking quietly.
“Psst,” I whispered, trying to get her attention without Elric noticing.
Immediately he was at the side of the screen. “I can help you.”
“It might be more appropriate for Josie to do this.”
His eyes were hurt. “I’ll be a gentleman.”
The truth was, I knew he would. He was sweet and considerate and kind. He probably was still in love with me, which was why I didn’t want him to see me in a state of undress. I glanced over at Josie, still drooling over Pinky. She was no help.
I turned away and allowed Elric to button the back of my dress. A moment later, he lifted my hair from my neck. “We need period hair. I hope you don’t mind. I adore the pink, but so much synthetic dye will spoil dinner.”
Beads of pink dribbled out of my hair and rolled down the pale pink of the gown.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw that in addition to giving me a Regency-style bun, he’d changed my bleached hair to auburn. I rolled my eyes. I should have known he would give me my natural hair color.
The fabric of the gown reminded me of dragonfly wings, transparent layers that shimmered blue and green with black veins of thread segmenting it in elaborate geometric patterns. The transparency of that outer layer showed off the opaque rose fabric underneath.
“Wow,” I said.
Elric gazed at me. “Indeed.” He reached around my neck and adjusted the amulet. Like before, it was green, the intricate metalwork bound around three separate gems.
Two stones looked relatively normal, nothing a Morty would question, though they might ogle at the size. Only one glowing stone remained lit with magic. The one that had shattered had been replaced by an ordinary emerald. He tucked the stones under the collar of my dress.
“Maybe you should take the amulet back,” I said. If I used it a third time, I would be his slave.
“You accepted the gift. It’s my duty to ensure you have it, should you have need of it again.” He said it somberly, his words heavy with a gravity he usually lacked.
He smoothed a finger over my nose before turning to my friends. “When I take you downstairs, there are three rules. You must not eat Fae food unless you wish to stay here for eternity—which I believe you already know. You aren’t to tell anyone Mr., um, Mr. Whatsit is a sasquatch—”
“Pinky,” Pinky said.
Elric shook his head. “That will never do. That sounds like a sasquatch nickname. What’s your real name?”
Pinky groaned like he was giving up the darkest of secrets. “Anotklosh Johnson.”
“Mr. Ano Johnson, then,” Elric said. “Third, you are not to tell my wife or the others the circumstances in which you came to be here.”
“Why?” I asked.
He tweaked my nose playfully. “Quenylda is jealous of you.”
A knock came at the door again. The manservant opened the door, his brow furrowed, sweat dotting his forehead. “Your Highness, your wife tells me that if I don’t bring you down this instant, she’s going to skin me alive. As we both know from the last threat she made, this isn’t an idiom.”
Elric clucked his tongue. “That vile witch!” He glanced at Josie and me. “No offense to the Witchkin present.”
Elric escorted us down a set of twisting stairs, across a hallway, and up another set of stairs. I lifted my gown so I wouldn’t trip on the hem. The amount of traveling to reach the dining room made the school feel small by comparison. I was out of breath by the time we reached the intricately carved double doors of the dining room.
Elric offered me his arm. Reluctantly, I took it.
“Isn’t this going to make Princess Quenylda jealous?” I asked.
“I can’t forgo etiquette simply because some people might disapprove.”
A manservant opened the doors, and we strode in. A long table was filled with over twenty guests. The clinking of cutlery ceased. Men dressed in a previous era’s attire stood. They were all nearly human-looking in aspect, with elegant features and beautiful faces. Some had pointed ears or unnaturally long and slender builds that reminded me of trees. The table had been arranged so that the male and female diners alternated in placement. From the soft shimmer around their faces, I took all to be Fae.
The lady of the house sat at the other end of the table. Her eyes narrowed. “Ah, I see what took you so long.”
“Pardon my absence. I was just retrieving my guests. I do hope you weren’t waiting for me.” Elric gave a little bow.
“I’ve saved a special seat over here for one of your guests.” Quenylda gestured with a satin-gloved hand that matched the pearlescent hue of her dress.
The butler pulled out a chair two seats away from her. My eyes locked on the man standing beside Elric’s wife who had risen when the other gentlemen stood. My heart dropped to my stomach at the sight of him.
Felix Thatch inclined his head in a gentlemanly greeting. For better or worse, he was here.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
My Crazy Hex-Boyfriends
“Miss Lawrence can sit near me.” Quenylda smiled a little too sweetly. “She will be placed beside Professor Thatch. I do believe they work together.” She waved a satin glove at Thatch
. The fabric was longer than the other ladies’, reaching almost up to her puff sleeves.
Quenylda was the most elegantly dressed Fae woman at the table, her gown glittering with gems. There were moments as she spoke that her face twisted and stretched, like a reflection in a funhouse mirror as someone moved. At other moments, Elric’s Fae wife was unnaturally beautiful, the aesthetics of her face so flawless and perfect she could have been a photoshopped model.
Her eyes shifted from green to the stormy gray of Thatch’s. From the cunning in her smile, I wondered whether she had done that on purpose or she was simply amused that Thatch’s presence might discomfort me.
Felix Thatch wore his timeless suit, the cravat and manner in which he held himself exuding the same elegant sophistication as the dandies around him. His hair was pulled back behind his head, loose black strands framing his face.
His eyes locked on mine. A pleased smile laced his lips—the first time I’d seen any expression of joy grace his face in over a month. I didn’t know how he had contrived to become a dinner guest, but it didn’t surprise me that he was resourceful enough to manage it. Part of me wanted to smile back at him, to commend him for his cleverness, but it was hard to stop thinking about his black mood earlier. It was hard not to think about how he’d withdrawn and rejected me.
The princess went on, cooing as though she spoke to a dog. “Poor Professor Thatch. We wouldn’t want the Witchkin to have to sit alone at the table, surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar Fae. It might make them uncomfortable.”
The Fae around the table chuckled.
Elric glanced at the empty seats near his own chair at the other end of the table and back to the single seat next to Thatch. I couldn’t tell if this game of cat and mouse was between Elric and his wife or Elric and Thatch.
“Of course,” Elric said. “We wouldn’t want to make our guests uncomfortable.” He gave a little cough. “Miss Kimura, please join Mr. Thatch so he won’t be alone.”
Josie’s lips pressed into a line, and she looked as though she wanted to object. Pinky stooped to whisper something in her ear. She glanced at me and whispered something back. I didn’t know if I wanted to sit next to Thatch. I was certain I didn’t want to sit next to Quenylda.
