by JJ King
I breathed deep and made my shoulders relax.
It was strange, facing the voices head-on, welcoming them but not really focusing on them. I did as Dalia had asked and breathed in nature, letting it fill me with peace and strength.
A voice, feminine and soft, lifted from the murmurs in my head, in a sweet song. My first instinct was to turn my thoughts to her, to focus completely on her, to figure out why the sound of her voice, singing a simple, childish song, made my heart lift and expand. But, I exhaled, and shifted my weight against the earth, feeling the coolness beneath me, connecting me with the elements.
An image formed in my head, the colors faded, of a woman with soft grey eyes and beautiful red hair. She looked down at me with a contented smile on her lips as she sang words I didn't understand.
Because they were Russian.
My eyes flew open and the image disappeared. The whispers swallowed up the single voice as I stared in shock at Dalia.
"Who was that?" But I already knew.
"Who do you think it was?" Dalia tilted her head to the side and studied me.
I swallowed and barely noticed the tears that sprang to my eyes and spilled down my cheeks as I whispered, "She was my mother."
Chapter 19
"It feels wrong, selfish to go forward with the party when those women are still missing," Daniella said as she pulled a gorgeous blood red cashmere sweater over her head and folded it neatly. "Don't you think, Elena?"
"What?" I blinked in surprise. "Sorry, I was thinking about something else. What were you saying?"
Daniella undid the button of her jeans and began shimmying out of them. "I asked what you thought of going forward with the birthday party, given everything that's going on right now." She glanced around at the students who milled around and I understood she didn't want to mention the super-secret sorority we were members of aloud in public.
I chewed my lip for a moment, thinking it over. We'd been planning a big birthday party but had gotten distracted lately and had put off the final details, like inviting anyone. Daniella had merely scoffed when I’d brought up that small point several days before I had just said that no one would turn down an invitation to her and Bash's birthday party, even if the invitation arrived one hour before the party was supposed to start. The exclusivity of it, she'd said with a saucy grin, would make the invitations even more sought after. Still, I'd gotten the feeling she'd been hesitant to go forward with the event and wasn't in the least surprised to hear her say something.
"Right. Well, we still haven't invited anyone, so there won't be any disappointments if we cancel. And even if we do cancel the big party, that doesn't mean we can't do something smaller, more intimate for just close friends."
The safety logistics of a smaller group would be easier to handle, I thought, glancing over at Connor, who was already down to his boxer briefs and just far enough away from us to not be obviously guarding anyone. I wondered for a moment how he managed to get away with being constantly close by but never actually attending classes. Didn't anyone ever notice?
Daniella noticed him; I knew that for sure. Maybe I'd only just started to pull my head out of my ass, but I'd been noticing a lot of little interactions between them lately. Daniella had never blushed so much in all the time I'd known her than she had in the past few days. Of course, Bash seemed completely oblivious to it and I wondered if he'd take any kindlier to Connor being in a romantic relationship with his twin sister then he had to Connor being my ex-boyfriend.
Everything had changed between the three of us since the epic battle that had been the talk of campus for days. The awkwardness and anger I'd held towards Connor had somehow completely dissipated. Bash and I had talked for hours about our feelings and insecurities, and had somehow, amazingly, strengthened the bond between us. I glanced around, looking for him, and caught sight of him waving goodbye to Darius, who still wouldn't look in Rory's direction, a fact I knew pained her greatly.
Bash caught my gaze as he jogged across the field. He let loose a long, low wolf whistle at the sight of me in just a bra and panties and took no time to begin pulling off his clothes.
"It's been way too long since our last run," he said, his voice muffled through the fabric he pulled over his head then tossed on top of Daniella's sweater.
Daniella glared, picked up his sweater and folded it neatly, muttering beneath her breath, "Men."
Bash ignored his sister completely and began taking off his pants.
"What were you guys talking about?" He asked, automatically pushing his sister back when she shoved him.
I grinned as I watched the interplay between the twins. They were so easy with one another, so real and normal. Yet, it had taken me a very long time to see anything but the shiny Queen bitch Daniella had projected when we first met. Not that it had been a projection, she'd actually been a huge bitch to me until I'd saved her life. Even then, she'd still been a bit of a bitch.
But fate had thrown us together more than once and we'd been forced to come to terms or die out in the Idaho wilderness after the plane had gone down. We'd chosen to live and things had only gotten better from there.
"We were trying to decide what to do for your birthday." I watched Bash strip off the last of his clothes until he stood only in underwear and took a moment to appreciate my soulmate's fine ass.
"I just don't think it's right to throw a party considering…" Daniella trailed off. "Plus, it would be hard to maintain security at a big party." She said it casually, but I clearly heard Connor's concerns in the comment.
Bash nodded. "Makes sense. Maybe we should just put it off this year, Dani. We've been having big parties every year forever."
"Or," I piped up, "We could do something small and intimate. Friends and family only."
Bash glanced across the field to where Darius chatted up another of their friends and I got the unspoken message. If I was there, Rory would be there. And if Rory was there, Darius wouldn't go. I bit down on my bottom lip and sighed.
"It's your birthday, Bash. Rory will understand." A buzzing sound coming from the pocket of my jeans pulled my attention away for a moment and I dug into my pants to get my phone. My parents had said they’d call sometime this weekend, but they knew the lunar eclipse run was tonight.
“It’s Xavier,” I murmured, checking the text.
Can you meet with me tomorrow to go over your manuscript?
I frowned. He’d told me he was busy this week and we’d made plans to meet up later next week to go over my progress. I’d written a new chapter in between bouts of deep thinking and mild depression and wanted his take on it.
Sure, I typed out quickly. What time? Immediately, I realized Daniella would need my help planning the new, smaller party all day tomorrow.
“Shit,” I muttered.
“What’s wrong?” Bash frowned.
“Nothing serious,” I reassured him. We’d gotten way too much bad news lately. We were all a little jumpy at the first sign of trouble. “I just told Xavier I’d meet with him tomorrow about the book but I’m going to be busy with party plans all day. I’m just going to let him know I can’t do it tomorrow.”
“Don’t be so foolish,” Daniella chided. “Go play with your book. I’ll take care of the party.” She placed her hand on her hip and struck a pose, which looked insanely good since she was in just her underwear. “I’m a professional, you know.”
“I can help, if you need it,” Connor said, moving up to our little group. He usually hung back but, lately, he’d been joining in more often.
Daniella pinked up again and dropped the exaggerated pose. “Don’t you have to watch Elena?”
Connor shrugged. “Yeah, but she’ll be fine with Xavier for a few hours. I’ll arrange another watch.” His icy blue eyes stared intently into Daniella’s emerald eyes.
Beside me, Bash stiffened. I bit back a giggle and tried to distract him. This wasn’t the time or place to suddenly become aware of his sister’s new flirtation and start another fight w
ith Connor.
The first howl rang through the air just then, tugging at my heart. I tucked my phone away, grinned at Bash, and pulled off the rest of my clothes, anxious to feel the night air on my fur.
Tonight was a special run due to the lunar eclipse and what we called the blood moon. The pull of the moon on our primal instincts was always high but there was just something about an eclipse that filled me up. I looked up at the sky through slitted eyes and glimpsed the coming celestial event.
The eclipse was already underway but, now, as the sun, moon, and earth aligned, the reflection of the sun on the moon turned it a deep red that made emotion well in my throat. I leaned in and kissed Bash then called to my wolf.
She came immediately, moving through me like an ancient, primal, force that exhilarated. As always, the shift was accompanied by pain, but I'd never hated that part of the shift. For me, it was like the pain was a bridge that signaled my total transformation. It grounded me and connected me on a deeper level to my wolf.
I stretched my body out, arching my spine and ruffling my fur. Bash nuzzled me, running his wet nose along the line of my jaw. I glanced over to check on Daniella's and Connor's progress and saw them standing shoulder to shoulder, touching intimately.
A happy yip alerted me to Rory's approach. She loped over with Addison by her side, and head butted me then did a quick footed shimmy that made me laugh.
Seeing Addison as her wolf brought back a wave of guilt and pain that I immediately tried to push down so it wouldn't ruin our night. I stopped as the whispers in my mind began to intensify and squeezed my eyes shut. Acknowledging my weaknesses would make me stronger.
I opened my eyes to see Addison watching me, her expression deep and troubled. I realized that my pain had opened her wounds. Acting on instinct, I moved to her and brushed my cheek over hers in an embrace. She leaned into me and sighed in relief.
The sound of paws hitting the earth in unison, of hundreds of wolves racing into the forest, spurred my wolf forward. My muscles bunched and launched me forward, towards freedom and the simplicity of nature.
I lost track of time, of where we ran, of where we stopped to rest or drink or play. Everything that had been weighing me down, all the stress and fear and grief, floated away. Even the voices quieted as I ran with my mate and friends. I never wanted to stop.
We cut across an open field and slowed to look up as the blood moon faded, leaving only an eclipse that we couldn't look at. I remembered Dalia's teachings and reached out to embrace the elements around me.
The earth beneath my feet pulsed with life and the promise of spring. The air was fragrant and cool. I felt the strength of the world around me and the moon above me and opened myself to its power.
The sound of a baby's cries filled my mind, followed by the soothing murmur of a mother's voice. My breath caught in my chest as an image formed again, this time so familiar, and I watched as my mother smiled down into her arms and rocked me.
I felt her love, felt it pour from her into me, a reassurance that nothing would ever hurt me.
My heart squeezed painfully. Something had hurt me. Someone had hurt me. I'd been ripped from those arms by the actions of a mad man who still hunted me and haunted my nightmares. The bittersweet moment, a memory Dalia had said they were, faded away as if blown by a breeze.
I exhaled and stepped forward to rejoin my friends, who were further across the field than I, then froze as a scream ripped through my mind.
My body went cold all over, frigid with fear, as agony danced up my spine, bowing me back, and I heard the sound of breaking bone and gnashing teeth. I stared in horror and tried to shut out the image that played like a nightmare before my eyes.
Blood, so much blood that it sustained the earth and covered my hands. And Bash, lying at my feet, his eyes big and glossy, unseeing, and dead.
Chapter 20
I lifted the beer bottle to my lips and took a long pull, wishing the alcohol could wash away the memory of Bash's blood staining my hands. It wouldn't work. Nothing had managed to tear that image from my mind since it had ripped through my serenity the night before.
I still didn't know how I'd managed to finish the run without breaking down and blubbering to Bash and my friends about what the voices had shown me, but I'd put one foot in front of the other and made it back, then gone straight to Dalia. Only, she hadn't been there, and she hadn't answered her phone when I'd called. So, I'd laid awake all night, next to Bash, who'd slept soundly, and replayed the vision over and over until I had to climb out of bed and hide in the bathroom because I was shaking so hard.
It wasn't a memory, obviously. Bash had never laid at my feet, covered in blood and lifeless. So, what did it mean? Dalia had mentioned that the connection we natural born Alpha's had to the earth sometimes resulted in visions of what was to come. My stomach roiled once more at the thought that I'd been sent a vision of my soulmate's death.
But the future wasn't static. I believed that with everything I was. Yes, my world revolved around fate and the notion that there was one person out there meant for you, the other half of your soul that would complete you, but that didn't mean that you didn't have a choice. Actions always have repercussions; my mother had always said that. And choices created branches in our fate, that created multiple paths for the future. I wasn't a student of theoretical mumbo-jumbo, but I was sure that what I'd seen was only one possible outcome of the choices I'd make.
But which choices would lead to Bash's death? Which choices would leave me covered in his lifeblood, alone and broken?
Maybe it was just a manifestation of my fear, I reasoned again. I'd gone over all these possibilities endlessly during the night. I'd been so exhausted in the morning that I'd even cancelled my meeting with Xavier, then turned my phone off and put it in my night side table. Connor hadn't asked questions when I'd headed back to my room and told him I would be sleeping all day, but I'd seen the worry in his eyes. Eventually, my brain had shut down and afforded me a few hours of blessed oblivion. Then the nightmares had woken me and I'd spent hours meditating to find a semblance of balance even though I was now frightened of what the voices would show me.
Bash's laughter rang through the room, bouncing off the glass ceiling that let the light from the night sky in. I watched him, so light and happy with his friends, and couldn't imagine a world in which he didn't exist.
I finished off my beer and made my way across the room, which was filled to brimming with ferns, trees, and beautiful flowers. Daniella had outdone herself with this new location. I'd had no idea we even had a horticultural department at Alpha Wolf Academy let alone a luscious green house.
"This place is beautiful," I said, tossing my bottle into the recycling bin and grabbing another.
Daniella smiled. "It is, isn't it?" She looked around, stopping briefly on Connor, who was tucked away at a table in the corner, quietly enjoying the party. "Connor actually suggested that. I didn't even know it existed until this morning."
Deciding that a distraction was exactly what I needed, I arched a brow knowingly. "So," I said, drawing out the single word with a great deal of innuendo. "You and Connor…" I let it hang.
Color bloomed beautifully on Daniella's cheeks, matching the rose-colored sheath dress she'd chosen for her birthday party.
She bit down on her lip and exhaled long and slow, then turned to face me squarely. "Okay," she said, reaching out both hands and taking me by the shoulders. "I know it's a bit weird, but you're just going to have to suck it up. I really like him." Daniella's voice softened. "I don't know what it is about him." She shook her head with a laugh. "I can't stop thinking about him. I wake up thinking about him and dream about him every night. It's… I'm not used to feeling this way." She took another deep breath. "I'm sorry if this comes as a bit of a shock."
I tried to keep my face straight and serious. "I am shook," I said in a flat tone that only wavered a bit near the end. "Absolutely shook. I have never, in all my life, been so surpri
sed as I am at this very moment." My lips twitched; I couldn't help it.
Daniella smacked my arm. "How did you know?"
I arched an eyebrow and grinned at her. "I'm sorry, do you think you're a master spy or something? You two have been making googly eyes at each other since the day you met. How did you think we wouldn't notice?"
Her eyes went wide. "Does Bash know?" She glanced over across the room at her brother, who was still grinning and laughing with his friends, then over at Connor who was watching her, his icy blue eyes warm now.
I nodded. "He suspects something but hasn't asked me about it just yet. But, don't worry, he and Connor seem to have come to some kind of an understanding. If he didn't kill Connor for kissing me after the plane crash, he won't kill him for kissing you now."
Daniella's smile disappeared. "Connor kissed you after the plane crash?"
I pulled back. "Shit," I muttered. "Yeah, he did, but, technically, he was concussed at the time and thought we were still together back home. Plus, his concussion was more or less my fault, so I didn't really give him hell for it. I didn't," I repeated. "But it turns out, Bash was a little pissed off."
"Okay," Daniella muttered, shooting me some side eye. "As long as he was concussed." She dropped the evil look and grinned again, clearly happier than I'd ever seen her. "I'll forgive him for having faulty judgement while injured."
"Excuse me," Bash said, coming up behind me to slide his arms around my waist. "But I was just wondering if I could request the honor of your presence for this dance." He moved around me and held out his hand palm up, then bowed dramatically.
My heart warmed, chasing away the icy remnants of my vision. Bash was alive, whole, gorgeous, and mine. I placed my hand gracefully atop his and let him sweep me into the center of the room where a small area had been cleared as a dance floor.
We swayed together, his hands on my hips, my hands delved into his thick dark hair, completely in sync. I didn't know who had chosen the music, but I appreciated the current choice of Gavin Rossdale singing about love remaining the same.
