“This is not your fault. This is no one’s fault. Justin doesn’t want me anymore, and I have to accept that.”
“No, Nakia. You’re wrong,”
“I just need to get my bag.”
Imani grabbed her hands to try to stop her from leaving the room. “Don’t go.”
“Imani, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I love him, but he doesn’t love me. Knowing that the one person that my heart beats for doesn’t feel the same…” Her voice cracked, and there was nothing she could do to stem the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “I was married to Ralph for five years, and I never shed a tear when he cheated on me or when we divorced. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone.”
“I know what you mean. I can’t even imagine how I would feel if Colt said that to me.”
“And I pray you never find out. It was great getting to know you, Imani.” Nakia gently removed her hands from Imani’s. “I hope we can remain friends?”
“Yes, of course.” Alex started getting fussy. Imani lifted him in her arms.
Nakia leaned in and kissed them on their cheeks before going into the bedroom she and Justin shared. She gathered her few belongings that weren’t already packed, and within ten minutes, she was driving away.
Justin had been awake for a few hours having slept most of yesterday and the night away. He and Colt were still stunned by the developments while they’d slept. While part of him was glad that it was finally over and neither he nor Colt had the difficult decision to kill their brother, another part of him wanted to bring the bastards back to life to shoot them again.
He was also reeling from the fact that not only had he lost one brother, but given Imani’s decision to live in exile, he was about to lose his other brother too. Their parents had taken Matt’s and Sarah’s deaths hard. They didn’t try to hide the fact that they blamed Imani. Given the frosty attitude of the rest of the family, Justin wasn’t surprised that Colt didn’t think twice about leaving. He would continue working as a partner of the firm, but Justin would become the managing partner. However, all of that paled in comparison to Nakia leaving.
He still wasn’t ready to think about Nakia not being there. Although he’d told her to go in a moment of panic, that pain he was going to try to delay as long as possible. For now, he was simply going to pretend that she was out and was coming back at any moment.
“You’re an idiot you know?” Imani hadn’t stopped glaring at him since they’d woken up.
“It was getting too dangerous around here. She almost got killed twice because of me,” he tried to explain.
“And you think she’s safe now? She’s somewhere out there on her own. She disconnected her phone and email for Christ’s sake. She’s alone! How the hell is she safe?”
“I know. I’m an idiot.” He felt like shit. And because Imani wasn’t happy with him, Colt wasn’t happy either. It was one of the only times in his life he remembered his brother being truly pissed with him.
“Couldn’t you have tried harder to not hurt my wife? You know she’ll blame herself for this shit!” Colt growled and held his hand up when Justin tried to defend himself. “Go and get your woman before I kick your ass.”
“I seem to remember when you were in the shit house that I was a little gentler with the pep talk,” Justin told him drily. “I love you too, bro.”
Weeks later, with Colt and Imani finally settled on a private island in the Caribbean, the funerals of Matt and Sarah taken care of, his divorce from Melissa finalized, and Melissa in jail awaiting trial, he called in one of the best private investigators he knew to find Nakia. She had not returned to the Miami office as they’d all first thought despite the letter of resignation she’d left in her apartment, and neither was she anywhere in the Bahamas. He looked. Her parents claimed that they hadn’t spoken to their daughter since her divorce from Ralph. No surprise there.
Justin couldn’t dislike them any more than he already did. So, where the hell was she?
Chapter Seventeen
Nakia sat back in her office chair and rolled her neck to alleviate the tightness that had developed there over the eight hours she’d been sitting unmoving with dogged determination to finish the numerous tax returns within today’s deadline. She glanced at the clock on her computer and jumped out of the chair with a shout. Shit, she was late again!
Barely taking the time to turn off her laptop and stuff it into her computer bag, she grabbed her car keys and her handbag and barreled out of her office.
“Where’s the fire?” her partner and best friend from college, Mario, asked with a sly grin on his face.
“You’re a shitty friend, you know?” Nakia glared at him and didn’t bother to return his laugh because it was a running joke between them that Nakia was never on time for anything. Mario swore that if left to her, Nakia would be late to her own funeral. She wasn’t in the mood for her friend’s jokes tonight though. “The least you could’ve done was remind me of the time.”
Mario laughed harder. “I did you one better.” He finally sobered from his body-shaking, tears-leaking laughter.
“Yeah? What could you’ve done that would make up for your not reminding me to pick up my daughter?”
“Well, I am godfather and Uncle Mario,” he teased. “Count your lucky stars, chica.” He beaconed Nakia toward him and walked toward his office.
Nakia had no choice but to follow and then stopped at the threshold, not too surprised by the sight before her. Everything in her melted at the sight of her six-month-old chubby baby kicking her legs, waving her arms, and babbling some baby nonsense in obvious happiness at seeing her mother.
“How long has she been here?” Nakia crossed the room to kiss her baby. She wouldn’t put it past Mario to go pick up her baby from the house on some made-up errand that her nanny suddenly had. Mario was in love with his goddaughter and was sometimes over enthusiastic about his duties. It also might have something to do with him wanting a deeper relationship with Nakia as well. Even in college, Mario had never been shy about his love for her. Nakia knew that when she was in trouble that he’d drop everything to help her, and he had.
“What was I supposed to do? Ms. Wallace had a prayer meeting she couldn’t miss.” Mario tried to look innocent, but the effort was ruined by the numerous empty bottles and discarded diapers in the office bin. It was clear that baby Jayla had been at the office for hours, not the minutes that Nakia was late in relieving her nanny.
“And Ms. Wallace called you and not me?” She hugged her daughter to her chest. Justin might have her heart, but their daughter had her soul. She kissed Jayla’s rosy cheek and didn’t try to pull her hair from her daughter’s fist.
“Well, I might have gone to the house a little early and told Ms. Wallace to take the rest of the day off.”
“Mario! You can’t keep doing that.”
“But she’s so cute! And such a good baby. Besides, someday soon, we’ll be a family,” he finished hopefully.
“Mario, this kid is here with you more than she’s with Ms. Wallace. And I’ve already told you that I’m not ready to jump into another relationship. It’s not fair of me to give you that hope, because I might never be ready for that.”
“You and baby Jayla are worth the wait,” Mario cooed in a singsong baby voice while playing with Jayla’s toes. That only caused Jayla to kick her legs and wave her arms with more enthusiasm. The toothless baby gurgle encouraged Mario to make more silly faces at the baby.
Nakia sighed, knowing how fruitless it was to dissuade Mario from his belief that she’d suddenly wake up one morning and decide he was the love of her life. He’d had that hope for years. And it made her even more sick with disgust at herself for using him like this. Mario was a beautiful man, with long raven hair, olive skin, and light brown eyes. They were the same age, and he was several inches taller than she was. She knew that women chased him all the time, and he wasn’t shy about taking them up
on their offers. He definitely wasn’t pining away waiting on her. Still, when it came to Nakia, he’d drop everything and everyone to put her needs first. It was the reason she worked so hard to not make him pay financially for loving someone like her. She knew her pitiful attempts at warning him that she’d never change her mind were not working. And why would they? Mario was always her go-to when things went south. He’d been there for her in college when she got a bad grade, and he helped her study to improve it. He had been there whenever she had fights with Ralph or her parents, reminding her that she was worthy of being loved despite their efforts to make her feel otherwise. He’d been there for all her bad moments for the past ten years.
And although Mario had always been there for her, she hadn’t turned to him when she ended up in the hospital from Ralph’s beating because Justin had been there, and she knew Mario would have confronted Ralph. Given his expertise with guns, she wasn’t going to take a chance that Mario wouldn’t have killed Ralph. No, her Puerto Rican friend had not been what she’d needed then. Besides, she’d been basking in Justin’s orbit and on a Justin binge. “I swear I won’t be surprised if you take her home with you next,” she teased, keeping her voice light, despite the dark thoughts in her head.
“If I wasn’t terrified you’d kick my ass, I probably would’ve done that by now.” He laughed.
“You’re terrible, and you’re not spoiling my kid!” Nakia started gathering Jayla’s baby bag, while Mario grabbed the baby seat and followed Nakia out to her SUV.
Once Jayla was strapped into her car seat and all the bags were packed in the car, Nakia walked over to her friend and hugged him. “You’re a crazy, infuriating friend, but I love you.”
“I love you too.” Mario wrapped his arms around her and returned her hug.
Nakia felt his body’s response to their hug against her stomach, but she chose to ignore it and ease out of his arms. “I’m getting the impression that you love Jayla more.” Nakia smiled, trying to pretend she wasn’t aware of Mario’s desire.
“Mi amor, dat ain’t no secret.” Mario trailed a finger down her cheek and looked at her with longing in his eyes.
They laughed at Mario’s lame joke and exaggerated accented.
Nakia was still smiling as she drove toward her house a few minutes later. She had no idea what she would’ve done if Mario hadn’t taken a chance with her a little over a year ago. It wasn’t too many people who wouldn’t bat an eye when a friend showed up on their doorstep asking for help to change their name; and then resign their secure job to go into a business venture fraught with uncertainty and very little start-up capital. Mario not only helped her to change her name, he helped her get her papers sorted in the Bahamas. It also seemed that their tax consultant service didn’t need that much capital, and they very quickly took advantage of the changing tax regime in the Bahamas to build up an impressive clientele in the time they’d been working together. They’d done well, and she was happy that Mario wasn’t suffering financially because of her poor choices. She’d never discussed Justin with him, even though he knew who Justin was. She couldn’t bring herself to talk about what happened, because then her present state without Justin would become all too real.
She pulled up to her house in one of the safest neighborhoods on the island, and the feeling of pride she always felt on seeing it filled her chest. She lifted Jayla from her car seat, loaded the numerous bags onto her shoulder, and walked slowly toward her front door. Her first attempt to get the key in the door failed, and the entire key ring went crashing to the tiled entryway.
“Perhaps I can help?”
Nakia was so startled she almost dropped the baby.
“Whoa, let’s not drop my daughter before I get a chance to meet her.” Justin took the baby from her.
Nakia swayed slightly on her feet as her heart rate accelerated to dizzying proportions. He was still the most beautifully rugged man she’d ever met. She looked up at his imposing figure, and the memory of his huge hard body covering her, loving her, flooded her senses. The remembered passion between them temporarily dulled her ability to form a cognitive thought.
“Hi, Jayla,” he whispered gently.
Her stomach bottomed out then kicked into overdrive and did somersaults at the sound of the soft gravel in his voice. He didn’t try to hide his awe at the sight of Jayla, and Nakia couldn’t help responding to his visceral emotions.
Jayla cooed up at her father.
Nakia was jolted out of her state of paralysis and gritted her teeth in annoyance at her inability to be immune to him despite all that he’d done to her. “Don’t get too excited. She smiles at everyone, and she probably has gas,” she muttered as she quickly picked up the keys and opened her front door. Pivoting in front of the door to try to block his access, she reached for her baby. “Give her back, please.”
Justin wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her—bags and all with one arm and the baby in the other—into the house.
She shrieked in outrage at his highhandedness and the additional stimulus of his touch, which seared her senses. Nakia was pissed when her response made Justin laugh, and Jayla first stared at her with wide eyes, and then burst out in a frightened cry.
“It’s okay, baby. Mommy didn’t mean to scare you.” To her chagrin, her voice only seemed to make Jayla cry harder.
Justin rocked the baby against his chest. “I’ve got you, sweetness. Daddy’s got you,” he told her softly.
Jayla stared up at him in wonder, whimpered weakly, and then stopped fussing altogether. With a watery emerald gaze, Jayla watched him intently.
“She’s probably just reacting to your strange voice.” Nakia tried to hide her body’s embarrassingly obvious reaction to his presence behind a mask of sarcasm.
“Or she recognizes me, as her mother does.” He smirked, looking pointedly at her taut nipples.
Nakia turned away in a huff to put down the many bags still weighing down her shoulders. “What are you doing here?” she asked after taking time to put everything away and finally getting some semblance of equilibrium.
“Do you really have to ask that question?”
“Given our last conversation, hell yeah I need to ask. Last time we spoke you were very clear on your position of me in your life. So, I need to ask again. What’re you doing here?”
“I had re-evaluated my position on you being in my life almost immediately after I told you that. If you’d waited a few hours until I woke up, you would’ve gotten my apology. And if you hadn’t changed your name to Danica McKenzie, I might have found you sooner and apologized.”
“What would you have been apologizing for, Justin? Please enlighten me.” She stared at him coolly, determined to pretend that nothing he said mattered in her life anymore. This time when she reached for Jayla, she was successful in taking her from him.
He gazed at her sheepishly.
“Would you’ve apologized for asking me to leave for my own safety?” she taunted as she carried Jayla into the baby’s room. “No?” She whipped off the soiled diaper with a little more aggression than necessary, which got a few kicks and giggles from Jayla. “And by the way, I changed my name after I realized I was pregnant. I didn’t want to take the chance that there were still threats out there. I couldn’t chance it.”
“Stop. Look, I know I was an asshole to you.”
“You think?” Nakia scoffed. She placed Jayla in his arms after changing her diaper. “Yes, you were an asshole, and what you did was unforgivable!”
“Tell me what you really think,” Justin tried to tease but immediately sobered when she stared back at him stonily. He followed her as she turned to walk into the ensuite bathroom.
Nakia slammed the door in his face and locked it for good measure. She took care of her business, washed her hands, and then used a warm damp soapy towel to cleanse her breasts. It felt as though her heart had expanded several inches when she walked back into Jayla’s room. Justin
held the baby against his chest, staring down at her with what could only be described as an adoring gaze. Remembering his desire for a child and his love for his nephew, she shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d respond to their daughter the way that he had.
She cleared her throat mainly to unclog the tears that were so close to the surface and to get him to stop chipping away at her anger with him. “I need to feed her.”
Justin reluctantly placed Jayla in her arms.
Nakia was embarrassed when Jayla immediately started fussing for her food. Grinning as if he was enjoying her discomfort, Justin refused to leave the room when she asked. Nakia ignored him and sat in what she treated as her nursing chair and freed her nipple. Jayla latched on with an enthusiasm that had Justin laughing and Nakia smiling down at her baby.
Nakia didn’t want to continue arguing with him during Jayla’s feeding, so she contented herself with simply gazing at her daughter and trying diligently to ignore him.
“She’s beautiful, Nakia.”
“Thank you,” she muttered.
Justin grinned at her disgruntled tone. “I love her name too.”
“Good for you.” She still refused to look in his direction.
“I should’ve never sent you away.”
She snorted. “Why? Because I was pregnant?”
“No, because being without you has been hell.”
“Right…” She wanted desperately to look into his eyes and see if they were brilliant green with desire or gunmetal gray because he was hiding his emotions. She didn’t dare look.
“I regret that I missed seeing you grow with our baby.” He sighed, and she could hear him pacing.
She kept her gaze locked on Jayla, who was doggedly sucking her milk. Nakia wanted to laugh at her daughter’s gluttony, but she didn’t dare show any sign of weakness to Justin. He already had the advantage of noting her body’s shameful betrayal.
Primal Obsession Page 18
