She’s fucking intoxicating and better than any drug. She has me wanting more and more. Then she flies off at the mouth at me. She’s making me crazy with thoughts of wanting her. Sitting over there in these tight pants that hug her ass and a tank top showing off the outline of her breasts. She doesn’t even have to try to turn me on. Before I can stop myself, I have my tongue in her mouth and damn I knew her kiss would be sweet but it damn near took my breath away. Then I have to ruin it by being a jerk because I know I should make her hate me, but she doesn’t—not even a little. Her feisty ass gives as good as I dish it out.
I give chase when she storms off into the bedroom like a sulking child. I can’t help myself. She brings out this playful side of me. Makes me think that maybe there is hope for us all after all and hope can be dangerous. Hope can start wars but fuck we already fighting one. The living against everything else roaming this Earth. I’m at war with my damn-self. I know I should walk my ass back down those stairs and go to my room and jack off in private but she’s right here next to me–—warm and tempting. I place my gun on the nightstand after kicking my boots off and slide in next to her. She’s upset with me, but it is for her own good and mine too. Brushing her hair from her face, I see her tears. Shit. I made her mad enough to cry. Guilt clutches my heart and squeezes. This girl has been through so much and I just put her through the fucking ringer in a matter of minutes. A silent sob wracks her chest.
“Let it out, Lana.” I know all those tears aren’t for me. Her grief is finally hitting her. I was wondering when it would. She kept fighting it when we were on the road. It’s all hitting her right now. Shock, sadness, lust, guilt, anger. My girl is a sea of emotions. Fuck me, I just referred to her as mine, but I guess I’ve known that she would be since the moment I saw her standing in the dark with snowflakes swirling around her head like a Goddamn halo. I press my lips to her cheek as that image haunts me. She was damaged yet beautiful, looking so damn fragile and at the same time unbreakable like a damn contradiction.
Lana turns into me. “Why are you being nice to me?”
“Got no reason to be mean to you. In there, minutes ago, that was a lesson you needed to learn. Maybe I should have waited but I’m not sorry. It’s a dog eat dog world. Ain’t nobody gonna think twice to hurt you or care about your fucking feelings but let me tell you something. I fuckin’ care. I shouldn’t but I do. So if you need to lay here and cry out all those hurts I’m going to lay here and dry those damn tears when you are done.”
Her lashes flutter with more tears escaping between them. Placing an arm around her stomach and her back I hug her to my chest. Her face is resting perfectly in the crook of my neck, breathing me in. Her fingers reach up and trace my lips, outlining my tattoos. Her touch burns me in the most delicious yet torturous way. I remain still, giving her this moment of tranquility. I should save us both the trouble and push away now. End this before it goes further. Go find one of the whores downstairs and get lost. Forget all about this sweet thing pressing up against me but I’m not that strong. I think myself a bad motherfucker but she’s my one weakness. The one thing in this world I have ever wanted to possess, to have, to taste more than anything or anyone else. She does something to me I can’t explain but I won’t deny myself.
“What are you thinking right now?” I tilt her chin up and gaze into her cool blue eyes.
“That I wish I were on drugs. Then maybe this messed up world might make sense.”
I chuckle at that. “No you don’t. I’ll tell you what drugs do. They numb you so you think you are forgetting pain but all you are doing in turn is letting those feelings get buried down deep to fester and rot you from the inside out. You just need to face whatever is eating at you head on and own that shit.”
“Can I own it tomorrow?” She stares at me like I’m gonna be the one to save her from herself. I’m no hero. I’m just a man who wants what he shouldn’t. The statement of truth should be enough to give me pause but it doesn’t.
Instead of leaving her alone I claim that tempting mouth. I kiss her hard and deep. Frustration and need claw at me but I don’t push things any further. Not yet. Lana returns my kiss, fisting my shirt and pressing her body closer to mine. I can feel her nipples cutting through both our shirts like fucking glass. I can only imagine how wet she is between those thighs.
“I wanna look at you,” she tells me.
“Say what now?” I pull back from her.
Sliding her hand up my shirt she repeats herself. “I wanna look at you. Are you tattooed like this all over?” Her lips meet mine again and I don’t want to deny her. Raising up, I shift to pull my t-shirt over my head, then I lay back on the pillow. Lana’s reaction to my bare chest is one of wonderment. Her gaze doesn’t seem to know where to land first but her fingers do. Both hands smooth over my pecs and her fingers travel along the stitched lines of ink. “Why stitches?”
I could give her some bullshit story but find I wanna give her the truth. “When I was a little thing, I had a real shit dad. He liked to rough my Mom and me up. I was always getting stitches. For years my Ma took up for him and covered it up. Said I was clumsy or just a rough and tumble boy. Kids at school would call me Stitch. The name stuck and I like the look.”
“All these tattoos…they cover your scars?”
“Most of them.” I shrug.
Her fingers move below my navel, running through the patch of hair that leads to the promise land or as most call it a happy trail. “And under these jeans…” I cock a brow at her and smirk. “I mean your legs, pervert.”
“Shit, I didn’t say nothin’. You’re the one with her mind in the gutter. That’s enough show and tell. Ain’t you getting sleepy yet?” I grab her hand, stopping her fingers from travelling down further. If she touches my dick it will all be over. I won’t be able to control myself. I’m a man who enjoys laying with a woman and Lana isn’t just any woman. She’s a virgin who has me wrapped up in knots.
She frowns. “Why? Am I boring you?”
“Not even a little but tomorrow will be a long day. I need some sleep.” It’s the truth but I also know if we continue playing this game, I’m not gonna wanna stop with her.
“I made my Gigi a promise that I wouldn’t have sex until marriage, but I’d break it for you,” she whispers and lays her head on my chest. I stare up at the ceiling, counting the glow in the dark star stickers not knowing what to make of that statement. She lets out a yawn and I press my lips to her forehead.
“Goodnight, Lana. You’ll keep your promise.” At least for now. Even if it kills me, I will try to stay true to my word.
Chapter 8
—Lana
“You’ll keep your promise.” Stitch’s words echo in my head as I close my eyes. I want to tell him that’s what I’m afraid of but stop myself from sounding like a desperate loser. The way he kissed me…I’ve never been kissed like that or felt that way from simply kissing before. Brad’s kisses never set me on fire like Stitch’s do. Though maybe the guy feels sorry for me. His pity is the last thing that I want. However, I am certain there are other men around here who would gladly aid me in breaking the promise I made. Maybe that sounds stupid and a bit childish of me, but I thought Stitch came up here tonight because he wanted me.
His breathing has evened out and I am sure he is sleeping. I roll away from him being kept awake by all my stupid thoughts. The dog gets up and turns in a circle at the foot of the bed three times before laying down once more. He’s as restless as I am.
“Lana,” Stitch says my name in a drowsy tone.
“Yeah?”
“You ever think that maybe I want more than just sex from you. I can get that easily but a girl like you shouldn’t give it away. Make me earn it. Make me worthy.” My voice catches in my throat. I think that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Rolling over in bed I lay nose to nose with him. His breath tickles my face.
“Do you really mean that or are you simply trying not to hurt my feelings.”<
br />
“I don’t ever say shit I don’t mean. No point in wasting my breath spewing bullshit. One thing you need to know about me, shorty…I say what I mean and do what I say. Got me?”
“Okay.”
“Where were you when the outbreak started?” His question throws me off guard, but it is a welcomed change in subject.
“It was Valentine’s Day. I was at a party at an abandoned strip mine. My best friend, Abby convinced me to go. Well actually it was Brad’s idea he was just too chicken to tell me.”
“Was he your boyfriend?”
“Yeah. We had been together for a few years, but we had grown apart. He was actually cheating on me with Abby.” I can laugh about it now, but it really isn’t funny. They were supposed to be my best friend and my boyfriend. Two people I should have been able to count on and trust. “So, they got high and started making out in front of me. I got mad and just wanted to get away from there. Away from them, but I couldn’t leave them stranded. They got into the back of my car and partway down the road Brad attacked Abby then he came after me. Luckily, I was able to escape and shut them up in my car. I flagged down this other guy and he took me home.”
“Well shit.” He smiles at me. “Good thing you never gave it up to that tool.”
“Yeah. So what about you. Where were you when things went south?”
“You reading my mind, sweetheart? That’s a funny choice of words.”
“Whatta ya mean?” I ask then I feel dumb when he motions his head in a manner that says all that he isn’t telling me verbally.
“You were with someone.”
“I was here at the clubhouse. There was a party. Things got a little wild. Nothing out of the ordinary but this bitch was tweaking on some shit. One minute her mouth was on my…” I shoot him a look that gives him pause. I know he’s no saint, but I don’t want to hear this story. “So yeah. Shit went haywire and I had to kill her.”
“Wow.”
“You gotta know I’m no virgin.” He takes my hand and locks his fingers with mine. “You being pure ain’t a bad thing, I find it so damn sexy. Makes me almost wish I had held out for a good girl like you.”
I cock my brow at him like yea right.
“Hey, I said almost.” That’s true. He did. At least Stitch is honest and don’t give me no lines. Well other than that one when he knocked on the door earlier.
He falls quiet again and this time he sleeps and after a few minutes sleep claims me as well. My dreams are vivid and wild. All night I dream of Stitch and his tattooed hands feeling me up. Touching me in places no one has. Places I’ve not even touched myself. My Gigi drilled in my head that masturbation was a sin, but now I think maybe she just needed to get laid. She sure was uptight and full of rules that may have made sense when she was a girl, but this is a very different time. A different world. I roll around in bed not wanting to wake up from my dream where Stitch is showing me what a real man is all about. However, all my flopping around has me falling off the bed and hitting the floor. The contact jars me and my eyes shoot open. Sunlight is streaming into the window and shining on the empty bed. Stitch is gone and so is the dog it seems.
Stretching my arms above my head I let out a yawn. As I get to my feet, I look around Priscilla’s room, inspecting the finer details in the natural light. Her walls are papered with a floral pattern. My room back home was painted deep purple. Lizzie’s room was pale pink. She loved everything pink and girly. She was like bubblegum and I was more like black licorice. She was more like Priscilla in some ways judging by her clothes.
I change into a pair of jeans I found in the back of her closet and a faded Harley Davidson tee that was in her drawer. I don’t think she will mind. She did say to make myself at home. When I walk out into the living room, I find Stitch and the dog curled up on the couch together. I wish I had a camera to capture the moment.
The front door opens, and Priscilla and Asher walk in. “Told you he’d be here,” she brags with a smirk and flops down in the arm chair.
Asher kicks Stitch in the butt and Percy pops up needing to be let out. “Rise and shine, sweet ass. Prez called church.”
Stitch mumbles something then falls into the floor. Looks like his day is starting like mine.
—Asher
Prissy and Lana went to let the dog out and to seek out breakfast. Paradise looks better in the daylight. It feels good to be home. To have my feet planted on the ground and to not have to watch my back every waking moment. I’ve not let my guard down completely where Prez is concerned. I don’t have the full story yet. Something about him is nagging at me. I haven’t said anything to Prissy. He’s her father and I know she only wants to see the good—the man who raised her, but he’s no longer that same guy. He’s fucking something else.
Stitch rubs his hands over his face. “Fuck, I feel like I didn’t sleep a damn wink.”
“Lana. You like her or what?”
Stitch gives me an impassive glance. “The fuck does it matter to you for?”
“I promised her old man I’d look after her. He helped Prissy and me out of a tight spot. I owe it to him to see she stays unharmed. I know how you are. Don’t want to see her get hurt.”
“You got nothing to worry about. My interest in her is nothing to worry about. I like her and want to look out for her.”
I snort. “How well do you like her though?”
“Enough that if you don’t quit riding my ass, I’m going to stick my boot in yours. Besides, how would Priscilla feel if she knew you were trying to cockblock my ass?”
“I’m not standing in your way, asshole. Just saying treat her with respect.”
“You saw me sleeping on the fucking couch with the damn dog, didn’t you?” He scratches his neck. “Damn thing has fleas.”
I roll my eyes. If anything has fleas, it’s him. I know the kind of bitches he used to fuck with. Lana is too good for him but he’s right. It’s not my business. Though I am sure Prissy is having the same talk with Lana right about now. We make our way downstairs for church. Feels fucking good but weird to have some normalcy. I can’t remember the last time I was in the same room with my brothers. Well what’s left of the club.
I take my seat and look around the room, noting the faces I recognize and noting the ones who aren’t present. I don’t see Trainer and that makes me sad. He was a good dude. Had a nice family too. Fucker had six kids and another on the way when I left.
Prez takes his seat at the head of the table and slams his gavel down. “As you can all see we have Asher back and he brought my Priscilla with him. I think I speak for us all when I say, welcome back, brother.”
I nod. “It’s good to be back. I missed you sorry fucks.” That gets a laugh.
“Now I’m not gonna waste everyone’s time bringing you up to speed we can talk on that later. We need to get some of these outside the gate off our asses.”
“I’ll volunteer,” Stitch speaks up.
“Count me in,” I volunteer, having no clue what I am signing myself up for.
“That’s the spirit.” Blade chuckles. “The supplies you brought in will do us for a week or so but we’ll need to go out for provisions before long. I’m going to need a crew, but we can focus on that when the time comes. For now, let’s get out there and get these Zom-bitches.”
The gavel slams down and that’s the end of church. I catch up with Stitch as the room empties and ask him what the hell I should be doing now.
“Gear up. I’ll show you where we keep our stuff.”
Gearing up means putting on spiked armor and arming myself with whatever I can get my hands on. Apparently Stitch and I will be getting on a four-wheelers and going out into the horde to get them far enough away so that Prez and the rest of our brothers can get in some target practice. If the zombies don’t take me out for this dumb shit Priscilla fucking will.
Chapter 9
—Priscilla
I hand Lana her plate of scrambled eggs. I can’t believe we still have
chickens and a cow. I let out a groan as I dig into my own serving. Everlee and Veda join us at the bar. Everlee is with Wild and Veda is Adler’s old lady. They were a few grades ahead of me in school and I never really spent much time with them, but they seem nice enough. They were promiscuous and I never was good with making friends with other girls. I always had Asher, I didn’t need anyone else. Wild and Adler were always around and are like the brothers I never knew I wanted. They are lifers like Asher. Their dads were brothers in the club too. In some ways we are all connected.
As soon as the girls sit down, they start asking a million questions. Wanting to know what the rest of the world is like outside of Paradise. “Are those things like everywhere you go?” Veda questions.
“Did you kill any of them or ever watch anyone get turned?”
Lana pushes her plate away and I am sure she is thinking about her recent losses. I break in and change the conversation. “Tell me about you guys. I’m sure you have plenty of interesting things to share. You guys were around when my father changed or whatever right?”
They both look away and grow quiet. “You’d have to talk to him about that,” Veda tells me, tucking her red hair behind her ear.
“Oh, I will be.” I am getting annoyed. My father was so happy to see me, but I feel like he is avoiding me this morning. As soon as I went looking for him, he called church, that’s where he is now. That’s where Asher is too. I don’t know what came over me last night, but I started having all these jealous and unfounded feelings. He hasn’t done one thing to make me question his loyalty to me, but I was ready to pick a fight with him for things he had done in the past. I am feeling so hormonal but that probably means it getting time for my next monthly cycle. I am trying to do the math in my head, but I can’t remember how long it has been. All the days seem to run together.
Paradise Lost: Wasteland (Sons of Destruction MC Book 2) Page 6
