Reece settled back in his chair, near lethargic after the long days of travel when a red-haired tornado nearly bowled him over. Her impact pushed the front two legs of the chair off the floor as she crashed into his chest. She squeezed the life out of him and drenched his shirt front with tears.
"I knew you were alive,” she sobbed. “I felt it in our connection.”
She pulled away from him, and Reece looked into his own blue eyes. In his mind, there were flashes of her smiling over at him. Flashes of her nostrils flaring at him in anger. He remembered the sound of her laughter. But even more, he remembered the sound of her voice singing. The lyrics were imperceptible, but he knew that he’d know her song anywhere.
“Reegan.”
It was as though a lightbulb went off behind her eyes. “You remember me.”
Reece winced. “I’m sorry.”
Before he could let her down, she shook her head and squeezed his shoulder.
“It’s okay,” she said. Her smile was wobbly, but he could see her resolve. "I don’t care that you don’t remember. You're alive and whole. I remember everything. I can tell you your entire life story."
It felt right to hold her to him. He did feel a connection to her, though he didn’t feel comfortable vocalizing it as she had. He had the overwhelming urge to apologize to her again. The apology caught in his throat when the vision in yellow appeared in the doorway.
She stood in a shard of light that should've made Reece cringe had it been anyone else. But he couldn't look away from her. She glanced around the room, but not at him. There was uncertainty in her hazel eyes. She bit at her lip, tugging it into her mouth as though she wanted to speak but was afraid. And then her gaze met his.
Reece felt like something kicked him in the chest. He was convinced his heart began beating for the first time. Before that moment, the organ had only been a murmur. He’d been breathing shallowly, but he took his first deep breath. He had no choice. His lungs needed to expand to fit the sudden growth of his heart.
Like with Reegan, Reece saw flashes of this woman from times past. He saw her smiling, laughing, indignant, compassionate.
He felt connected to her as well, an invisible bond that felt all too real. Yet the bond he shared with her took a different route to his heart. A route that had been under construction and was now in the final stages of completion. When he spoke, the finishing touches were added.
"Beth?"
It wasn't a question. He knew it was her. She was the first thing he was certain of outside of his sister.
Beth's uncertain gaze went wide, like saucers filled with hope. Her lips shaped into a delicate O. Her fingers untangled and rubbed down her sides, smoothing the pleats of her skirt.
Reece felt parched watching her. The dress made her look like a young, fifties housewife. A vision of Donna Reed flitted through his mind. He remembered that he loved that show. That and another show about a boy named Beaver, but he couldn’t recall the title. He didn’t care to. His mind was wrapped around the vision in the doorway.
Beth was licking her lips again, in preparation to speak. Reece’s gaze latched onto the motion. Had he ever kissed those lips? He wanted to fight the pain of the light to uncover one of those memories.
"You remember me?" asked Beth, her voice a shaky whisper.
Reece's gaze swept her body. Long brown hair that brushed her shoulders. Long legs that ended in—running shoes? That didn't seem right.
He continued his perusal to her long slender fingers. On her left hand, on the fourth finger, there sat a sparkling diamond. And now Reece’s lips parted in an O.
The letter. He must've answered her plea of love. Now he knew what his answer had been.
"Yes," he said.
Yes, he did remember her. As much as he remembered his sister. Just a feeling of familiarity. But it was too hard to explain.
Reece wasn't certain of the expression that crossed Beth’s features. Surprise? Happiness? Horror? Resolve?
Had they fought the last time they spoke? Had they argued? She was still wearing his ring. So, whatever disagreement they may have had, they hadn’t broken things off.
He glanced at the ring again. The jewelry didn't suit her. It was small and colorless. That seemed wrong. But perhaps it was all he could afford at the time?
"How is it he remembers Beth and not Reegan?" asked Brandon.
Dr. Patel shrugged. "The mind is fickle. He may be simply remembering what is comfortable."
“What?” said Reegan. “I make him uncomfortable?”
Reece ignored his sister. He knew she wasn’t upset. He felt certain that the three of them had always been close. Instead, he focused his attention on Beth, particularly on her dress. He spotted smudges of dirt on the front and green stains on the side.
"I remember …" Reece fought the wince. He wanted this memory to come through. He took a breath and began again. "I remember swinging on the monkey bars while you and my sister sat on the side. I jumped down to the ground. It had been raining earlier, and it was a bit muddy.”
He glanced up at Beth. She hadn’t taken a step over the threshold. Her hand was on the door frame as she watched him. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the frame.
“I got mud on your dress. You got very angry with me. You don't like to be dirty." He frowned at the mud on her dress and knees.
Beth looked down and brushed at the smudges on her dress. "I was helping Reegan weed in the garden just now.”
Reece's gaze went to his sister. "Reegan loves gardening.”
His sister’s smile was brilliant and wide. She nodded her head vigorously. “I do. I love gardening.”
“There's a garden out back of our house.” Reece saw the patch of green out back of the red brick house. He felt an overwhelming nostalgia to be in that place. That place would be safe. "I'd like to go home.”
Chapter Six
As the others took a moment and explained the tragedy of the Cartwright home to Reece, Beth gripped the frame of the doorway. Her breaths came up short, which was a problem because her racing heart needed more oxygen to pump blood down to her weakening knees.
Reece remembered her.
Selective memories, true. But look at what he'd selected. He’d pulled out times from their childhood when things were innocent and pure. He remembered small things about her, like the fact that, unlike most kids, she didn’t like to get her hands or her clothes dirty.
She didn’t have the mental capacity to determine whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. She simply gloried that it was a thing. She was important enough for his brain to hold onto as everything else went dark.
She’d always known she’d mattered to him. He’d told her many a time that her friendship meant the world to him. But now she knew that memories of her were a comfort, and that warm, cozy feeling of comfort was found in the heart.
He remembered the good things. He hadn't remembered the letter. He might not ever. That meant they could be friends again.
Beth tried to gulp down a deep breath, but her lungs didn’t inflate all the way. There was a lot of empty space in her chest. It was as though her heart had shrunk down in disappointment.
Despair colored her vision. Her mouth went dry. The palms of her empty hands itched. She balled her hands into fists and met a sharp point on her left hand.
Common sense told Beth that it wasn't possible. Memories or not, she and Reece could never be the friends that they had been. She was still in love with him. And here she stood wearing another man's ring.
Reegan sat next to her brother. She took his hand in hers as she relayed the tragedy of the fire and the loss of all they held dear.
"Where will I stay?" Reece said.
"You’ll stay with us," said his sister. "Here on the ranch. Now that you're here, we can rebuild the house, but it will take a while."
Reece frowned looking between his sister and her husband. Brandon stood behind Reegan’s chair, just off to the right of her shoulder. He looked
to Beth like a sentinel, ever watchful of a precious treasure.
"Aren't you two just married?” Reece asked. “No offense, but I’d rather not stay in the room next door to newlyweds.”
Reegan's cheeks heated at her brother’s words. Brandon cracked a grin.
"You could do what all the other soldiers did," Ruhi spoke up from her place next to the medical equipment. "You could get married. Then you could have your own home here on the ranch."
The nurse said it with a smile. It was likely meant to ease the tension that had clouded the room. But no one laughed.
Brandon’s right brow lifted in consideration. Reegan pursed her lips, the way she’d done in math class when puzzling over a particularly tricky problem. Pastor Patel smiled in that way when Beth would come to talk to him about an issue and come to a resolution without him ever offering any advice.
Beth’s knees solidified at that moment. She pushed off the wall and took one step into the room. But she stopped before she could take another step.
She’d been about to raise a protest. The idea was ludicrous. Reece marry a stranger? Or worse, an ex-girlfriend.
Mindy Engle was still in town. She’d just gotten out of a long term relationship. Beth had seen her nursing her wounds a few times at the ice cream parlor last month.
The idea of Reece and Mindy back together? Forever this time? It was more than Beth could manage.
But she had no say. She couldn’t even mount a credible argument. Not with the rock on her finger holding her back.
"That's not a bad idea."
The sound of Reece’s voice had always sent a flood of warmth through Beth. Now it just delivered chills. An icy cold that made her shiver and want to jump into a fire.
"Unless I'm mistaken," Reece continued. "I believe I'm already engaged."
Now Beth wanted the fire to form a pit and bury her alive. So, she and Reegan weren’t the only women he remembered. There was someone else. Someone else he loved and had proposed to.
“I only hope she’ll still have me."
Whoever this girl was, she'd be a fool if she didn't. Reece Cartwright was an amazing man. The best man. The man of her dreams who she was never meant to have.
"Will you, Beth?"
There was a tingling in her chest. That was the first sign that she was still alive after being dealt a deathblow. When Beth lifted her head, she felt dizzy. Had she been holding her breath the whole time?
Her gaze locked on Reece. He’d asked her to do something for him. Was it something to do with the wedding? Did he want her to go and find Mindy? She’d die again if he asked her to have any part of this wedding.
"Will I what?" Beth’s voice croaked like a toad when it finally bubbled past her constricted throat.
"Will you still have me as your husband?"
Everything and everyone in the room went still. There had been a fly buzzing on the window. It held perfectly still, as though it also couldn’t believe what had just transpired.
Had Reece Cartwright just said what she thought he said? To her?
"Can we have a moment in private?" said Reece.
Slowly, everyone filed out. Ruhi mouthed OMG to Beth as she followed out her father. Brandon had to practically lift Reegan off her feet to get her moving. Even the fly followed the others out of the room.
Once the room cleared, Reece turned away from her. He looked down at something in his lap. It was his father’s old Bible, the one he’d given to Reece when he’d gone off to college. Reece opened the well-loved pages and unfolded a piece of paper. Beth’s heart kicked up again when she recognized her handwriting.
“I’ve been reading and rereading it. Your handwriting was the first familiar thing to me. I couldn't remember your face, but I knew that I cared for you. Every time you wrote the word love, I felt it in my soul.”
Somehow, Beth made it over to the chair beside him. It was just in time because the next words out of his mouth would have sent her to the floor.
“I love you, don't I? We love each other?”
She had to be dreaming. This was how it always happened in her dreams. His blue eyes gazing at her, only brighter as the light of realization dawned in them. He always scanned her entire face as though seeing her anew, just like he was doing now.
“It's the first thing that felt real to me."
Reece took her hand. The left one. Beth nearly jerked her hand back when he found Walter’s ring.
"I asked you to marry me, and you said yes, right?"
He frowned down at the ring, cocking his head and squinting like he knew it didn't belong.
"I guess this was all I could find out in the desert."
“It's not yours." Beth choked the words out. “I mean, it’s not what I wanted."
He nodded. “I know. There’s no color. You like colorful gems.”
"Yes."
“I can get you a ring with every gem imaginable.”
"Yes."
"I know I don't have all of my memories. I have no idea what I'll do to support you. But, Beth, you're the only thing I feel certain about. Will you still marry me?"
"Yes."
There was no hesitation. Beth took off the ring and set it aside. Then she did what she’d been dreaming of since she was a little girl. She threw her arms around the man she’d loved her whole life.
Chapter Seven
Darkness settled all around him like a warm blanket. He swathed himself in it, pulling it tighter over his head, tucking the sheets beneath his chin, curling the edges under his toes so that the blackness could not escape.
Reece knew that outside the large, downy comforter the sun had risen. For the first time since he'd awakened to darkness, he wanted to greet the day. He was finally looking forward to something. Or rather someone.
Beth.
He ripped the sheets from his person and instantly recoiled. Though his body was ready for the day, his mind wasn't. The bright light made him wince as it threatened him with visions he wasn't ready to see.
An explosion of light. Ear piercing screams. The salty taste of panic. The metallic smell of fear. And finally, darkness.
The darkness was the only safe place. He had to hide in the darkness. Not forever, just for a moment.
As he made to settle back under the thick sheet, a quick succession of taps sounded at the door. Reece hit the floor. He threw his arms over his head as his knees impacted the solid wood.
“Cartwright, open up. It’s Ortega.”
The sound wasn’t gunfire. It was knocking. It wasn’t an adversary. It was company.
Reece noted that he’d reached to his side, but there was no weapon. He didn't need a weapon. He wasn't in a combat zone. He was on a ranch in his hometown. He was safe.
Opening his eyes wide, he yanked on a pair of pants and a T-shirt. Padding out of the bedroom in the small row house, he went to the front door. He pulled it open to reveal a young man his age, dark hair, bright eyes, and twin dimples.
A flash of memory featuring those dimples snaked through Reece’s mind. Women smiled and giggled all around Reece and Private Mark Ortega whenever he flashed those dimples. But then the scene changed. Ortega wasn't smiling anymore. His eyes were alert as he watched Reece put distance between them. There was worry on his brow. And then abject horror as the blinding bright light separated them.
Reece stepped back from the sunlight shining in the doorway.
"You good?" Ortega clamped a hand down on his shoulder.
Reece shrugged out of Ortega’s hold. He shook his head, shaking the memory loose until it went back in the darkness. "Yeah, I'm good."
Ortega looked as though he wanted to ask more, but like Brandon and Sergeant Chase, he didn't. There seemed to be an unspoken code between the four men that they only shared what and when they were ready. Reece wasn't ready.
"I'm here to walk you over to Patel's office."
"I can remember where it is." Reece’s expression was pinched as he stepped into a pair of running shoes at th
e door.
Ortega punched him in the shoulder, lightly, but enough for him to feel. "Don't think I’ll take your attitude ‘cause you got knocked in the head."
Reece laughed, closing the door and rubbing his shoulder. The exchange felt familiar between the two men. He also appreciated that Ortega wasn’t treating him with kid gloves like the others.
"You know you were up for a promotion,” Ortega said as they walked the green path toward the medical offices. “You'll probably get it now. If you still want it. If you decide you want to go back."
"Go back?"
"Into the Army. Re-enlist. Though I hear you're thinking of a different title? Husband?"
Reece's mind went back to Beth. He was going to marry Beth. The idea of going back to the army held little appeal to him when placed beside that idea.
"Man, what is it about this place?" asked Ortega. “Single men drop like flies here. I need to get out of here soon."
Reece wasn't sure what the man was talking about. But confusion was a common enough occurrence with him these days. He decided to enjoy the crisp morning air and the stunning view of the mountains instead.
A few men were out riding horseback. A number of younger boys clustered around one of the barns looking up to a grown man with the countenance of a soldier and one prosthetic arm. A ragtag pack of dogs followed around a man with a long, angry scar on one side of his face.
With each step, Reece felt more and more at home. This was a place for people like him. People who’d been wounded by the ravages of combat and were now ready to heal.
They walked farther, and Ortega continued to chatter on. This seemed normal, as well. Ortega chattering on while Reece listened.
"So, you and the pastor's daughter?"
Reece frowned. “Beth is the pastor's daughter?"
Before Ortega could confirm, a memory came to Reece. He saw flashes of Beth; a young Beth in a bright green dress; a tall and gangly Beth in a slim pink dress with ruffles at the bottom of the skirt; and Beth as she was now in a stunning royal blue dress.
Always On His Mind Page 3
