by Amber Kelly
Mom stands in the drive, watching the taillights fade off, and then she turns and brings her eyes to mine. She is a mess. Her eyes are puffy, and her nose is bright red. Vivian Marshall is always put together. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so distraught.
“Hi, Mom,” I say.
She looks up and smiles. “Hi, baby,” she replies carefully. “Jefferson.”
He stands and walks down the steps toward her. “Hello, Viv.”
She bursts into sobs as soon as her name leaves his lips.
He wraps her in his arms and whispers soothing things into her hair. Words I can’t make out, words that are private, just between them.
Once she has better control of herself, he lets her go. He picks up her bag and carries it up the steps. He stops and looks down at me, waiting for permission. I nod that I’m okay, and he walks into the house.
She stands in the drive, wringing her hands for a couple more minutes. Then, she musters the courage to come up and take a seat beside me.
As she sits, Braxton comes barreling from the front door. He looks down at me.
“You all right?” he asks as Daddy comes up behind him and clasps his shoulder.
I smile up at him. “I’m fine.”
He looks at my mother and back to me. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Brax, I’m sure. We’ll be inside in a minute.”
Daddy tugs at his shoulder, and Braxton reluctantly backs into the house.
“Brax?” Mom asks.
“Braxton Young. He is Daddy and Madeline’s nephew.”
“He seems … intense.”
“That’s one way to describe him.”
“Is he the reason you have stayed all this time?”
“One of them,” I admit to her and myself.
“Sophie, I love you—” she starts.
I interrupt, “I’ve never doubted that, Mom. But that’s not the point. You lied to me. You have been lying to me my entire life. You let me feel unwanted. You let me hate him.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t want you to hate me because I was the one who had done the terrible thing to your father. Because I was selfish and scared of losing you.”
“None of that makes it okay.”
“I know.”
“I’m angry, so angry, with you right now.”
“I deserve that, but I hope you can forgive me, Sophia. You’re my onliest only, and I can’t lose you. Please.”
“You’ll never lose me, Mom. But you can’t make me be who and what you want me to be. You can’t manipulate me any longer.”
“I won’t. I promise. Just come home, and I’ll make it up to you,” she begs.
“You can’t. You can’t make up for the twenty years I lost with Daddy. You can’t bring Gram back and give me back those missing memories.”
I take a deep breath and make a decision.
“I’m not going back to New York.”
“What? Sophia, please. What about your apartment and your business? You can’t give all that up because you’re angry with me.”
“I’m not going to give anything up. I’ll figure it out. Charlotte and I have been handling things just fine the past month, and they need me here now that Gram is gone. They need help running the ranch.”
“You’re punishing me,” she whispers.
“No, I’m not. I’m just righting a wrong. You stole time from me, Mom. New York is wonderful, and there’s so much to appreciate about it, but it can feel cold and unfriendly sometimes. I stand on a street teeming with thousands of people, and I feel lonesome. I’ve had this sadness living inside me all these years that I didn’t understand. Now, I do. New York is not home. Not for me.”
Her head falls in her hands.
I get up, and I kneel in front of her chair. I take her hands in mine, and she looks down at me.
“You’re not losing me. I’ll be flying up to the city all the time. I’ll still have to be in the office for meetings, and I’ll visit. Besides, if I give up my apartment, I’ll have to stay with you and Stanhope or Charlotte when I do.”
“You’ll stay with us,” she insists, and I know I have her.
“Okay. I’ll stay with you.”
“Promise that you won’t stay out here and fill your life with all these people and forget me.” She sniffles.
“My heart is big and roomie, Mom. It doesn’t have to be you or them. Not anymore. I have enough to go around. It’s a well that won’t go dry if other people drink from it.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, and we hold each other for a long while.
“You know, I think you’ll find you needed to be released from the weight of these secrets too,” I say over her shoulder, and she nods.
Braxton and I drive Mom to the hotel in town. On the way, she grills him about his age, his responsibilities on the ranch, if he wants to get married one day, and if he wants children. He’s polite, but I know his patience is running thin by the time we drop her at her room.
On the ride back to the ranch, I get lost in my thoughts as I stare at the countryside passing by the window.
“Penny for your thoughts,” he says into the silence.
“Just trying to figure out how I’m going to break the news to Charlotte that I’m staying in Poplar Falls.”
“So, you’ve decided for sure?”
“Yes, at least for now. Aunt Doreen can use my help, and I think Daddy and I need more time. What do you think about me staying?” I bring my knees up onto the seat and turn to face him.
“Are we having a real conversation?” he asks as he slides his eyes to me.
“It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be. I just need to know how to proceed from here. I know that what started between us happened when we both assumed I’d be gone in a few weeks. I don’t want you to think I expect anything from you.”
“What do you want, Princess?”
“I really don’t expect …”
“I didn’t ask what you expected. I asked what you wanted.”
“I know I want to wake up, curled up with Hawkeye every morning,” I tease.
“That damn dog, always stealing my girl.” He pulls over on the side of the highway, and he pulls me into his lap. “I guess I’ll just have to learn to share.”
Then, he brings his lips to mine and kisses me breathless.
“If you’re planning on waking up there every morning anyway, you should probably go ahead and move your stuff in. It’d be easier than trying to sneak back to the house every day.” He chuckles.
“I think they know,” I whisper.
“They might have a clue,” he confirms.
“You think there’s room enough for us both?”
“If there’s not, I’ll build you another room. I’ll build you a studio. Whatever you need, we’ll figure it out.”
I grin. “Would you be willing to install a bathtub?”
“I bet you could persuade me.”
Braxton
“You and Sophie coming to the house for supper tonight?” Jefferson asks as we finish herding the cattle back into the newly fenced pasture.
She’s been moved in for a little over a month now. She flew back to New York over Thanksgiving to see her mother and to pack up the rest of her belongings. She took part of the money in the account Gram had set up for her all those years ago and repaid Stanhope the money he had invested. Then, she made Charlotte an official partner in Sophia Doreen Designs. The two of them run the business together with Sophie taking on a more creative role and Charlotte running the office in New York. Their little business venture is booming, and since Sophie took the financial reins of Rustic Peak, the ranch is thriving too. We were able to purchase more heifers for the year, and we should have an amazing calving season. We even hired a few extra hands, and Sophie hired Dallas to help her in the office. Not that they get much done together, but it allowed Dallas to quit her part-time job at Butch’s Tavern and Beau to have his mom
ma tuck him in every night.
“Nope. I have plans for us tonight.”
“Did you tell Doreen? You know how upset she gets when you two are missing, and she was expecting you.” Emmett winks at me over Jefferson’s shoulder. “I’m going to wait in the truck while you two figure this out.”
We watch as he hops in the passenger side of Jefferson’s truck.
“I did. I called her this morning.”
“Good. Well, you two have a good night.”
He starts to walk to the truck, and I call after him, “Jefferson?”
I don’t know why I’m so nervous.
“Yeah?”
“I need to ask you something,” I say as I reach in my pocket and pull out the box that has been tucked there all day.
I made the mistake of showing it to Silas and Walker yesterday, and the two have been giving me shit ever since.
“I have this for Sophie, and I’m going to give it to her tonight.”
I open the box to show him the ring inside. It was my mother’s. Nothing fancy—just a simple diamond in a simple setting.
He looks at the box and then to me. “You ready for that? It’s only been a couple of months since she showed up here in Poplar Falls. You sure it’s not too fast?”
“Six weeks,” I say as I look down at the ring.
“What’s that?”
“Six weeks. That’s how long it took Dad to know that he wanted to marry Mom and to put this ring on her finger. It only took me four.”
He nods his head, and a smile graces his face.
“I’m ready if she’ll have me and if I have your blessing.”
“My blessing? I couldn’t have asked for a better man for my Sophia. You’ve been my son since the day God brought you and your sister to our doorstep. I’d be awfully proud for you to make that official.”
“Are you ready yet, woman?” I ask as I round the hall and see her sitting in the closet floor rifling through a pile of clothes.
I look around at the mess. It’s been a tight fit since Sophie moved all her things into the loft. Women sure come with a lot of extra stuff.
“I’m trying to find my brown scarf. I swear I packed all of my scarves in one box and I can’t find them now,” she huffs in frustration.
I reach down and pick up a brown wool scarf and hold it out on one finger for her to see. She looks up and blows a piece of stray hair from her face and mumbles, “Thanks,” as she grabs it.
“You’re welcome. Now, can we go?”
She stands and wraps the scarf around her neck.
“I promise I’ll get this all sorted eventually. I need to throw out almost everything and only keep the essentials.”
She looks over at the shelf of shoes and sighs. I follow her eyes.
“You aren’t getting rid of those,” I state matter of fact.
Her eyes snap to me.
“You made fun of me for wearing this very pair when I first got here,” she reminds me as she lifts a pair of nude stilettos.
“I did. They’re impractical as hell, but I didn’t say they weren’t sexy,” I say as I pull her to me.
She places the shoes back on the shelf and turns in my arms.
“Well, I have to give up something because all of my stuff and I don’t exactly fit.”
“We’ll make it work,” I say as I kiss her lips, “now, let’s go. I’m getting hungry.”
“Where are we going anyway?”
“It’s a surprise.”
We walk out into a clear but cold December night. She starts toward the truck, but I wrap my arm around her waist to steer her in the direction leading behind the barn.
“We’re walking?” she asks in disbelief.
“It’s just a short distance. I promise.”
I tuck her into my side and we walk down the back of the ranch through the forest of trees and toward the river. About twenty minutes later we make it to the spot. It’s a clearing on a hill that overlooks the water. A fire is crackling, and picnic basket rests on a quilt along with an ice bucket and two champagne flutes. She untangles from my arm and walks toward the site. Then she turns around and beams at me.
“What’s all this?”
“Your Christmas present.”
She looks confused for a moment before her eyes go soft.
“It’s perfect.”
She doesn’t understand, so I walk over and take her hand and lead her to the blanket. I spin her to face out toward the valley and the water below, wrap her in my arms, and rest my chin on her shoulder.
“I wanted our first supper in our new kitchen to be special,” I whisper into her hair.
“What?” she breathes.
“Pop and Jefferson gave this parcel to us. We are standing in what will be our kitchen with huge bay windows so we can look at this view every morning. I’m going to build you a wraparound porch, so you sit out here all you want and sketch, and your new closet will be able to hold all the sexy shoes you can buy.”
“You’re going to build us a house?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“With a bathtub?”
“Oh yes, can’t forget the Princess’s bathtub,” I tease.
“It is perfect,” she chokes out on a sob.
“Not quite yet,” I say as I hear the rumble approach.
She hears it too and turns to look back toward the trees. We hear laughter and then Beau’s impatient voice loudly whisper, “Now, Mommy?”
“Now, baby,” Dallas answers as she plucks him down from the four-wheeler.
He releases the excited puppy in his arms, and Hawkeye shoots off like a rocket in our direction.
I reach down and scoop him up as Dallas gets back on the machine and pulls Beau up into her lap. She winks at us, and they drive back off into the trees.
I turn to Sophie, and she watches me closely. Her eyes are full of amusement and question.
Hawk is squirming in my arms, and she reaches for him as he leaps. He starts licking at her jaw as she giggles. Once he finally settles, she notices the red bow and box around his neck.
“What’s this?” she asks as she starts to untie it. She sets Hawk down and opens the lid. She gasps and turns back to me with shock written all over her face.
“I know it’s not much, and we can get you another one if you want, but it was my mother’s, and I think she’d like for you to have it,” I say as I take the ring from the box and lower to one knee.
She gasps.
“Sophia Doreen Lancaster, I know it seems fast, but I’m a man who knows who he is and I don’t need a lot of time to ponder when I know something is right. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. If you’ll have me.”
I slide the ring on her finger, and it’s a perfect fit.
Tears immediately fill her eyes, and before I can get another word out, she launches herself at me. I catch her as we both tumble onto the blanket.
“Yes, yes, yes …” she starts repeating over and over as she peppers my face with kisses and Hawkeye jumps up and down around our heads yapping, trying to get in on the action.
She finally stills as I settle on my back with her on top of me.
“You chose me,” she whispers.
I nod, and she continues.
“I choose you too, forever.”
She presses her lips to mine as a symphony of hoots and whistles from beyond the trees fills the air around us.
The End
Preview of Both of Me
Four Years Old
I am getting all dressed up like a princess.
Papa and Mamma are expecting company for dinner tonight, so Nonna has dressed me in my prettiest dress. It is purple, and it has yellow butterflies on the front. Purple is my favorite color.
I twirl and twirl until I am dizzy.
“Hold still, so I can finish your hair, Gabriella,” Nonna scolds.
She helps me get my shoes on as she explains that the Scutari family just moved two estates down from us. Mr. Scu
tari is in the same business as Papa. He and his three boys—Emilio, Atelo, and Christoff—as well as their grandparents are coming to meet us all tonight, and Papa wants me and my brothers to be on our very best behavior. She holds my hand and leads me downstairs.
“There is my bambina.” Papa reaches out for me, and he picks me up and spins me around as I laugh with glee. He turns, and I see a group of people huddled in the foyer.
“Say hello to our new friends, Gabriella. This is Papa’s friend Mr. Scutari and his boys and their grandparents.”
“Hi.” I wave shyly and lay my head on Papa’s shoulder.
They all say hello in return, and Papa shows us into the dining room where Mamma and Nonna are placing food in the center of the table. My tummy growls loudly, and everyone laughs.
“My baby girl is always hungry.” Papa smiles down at me as he places me in my seat between Nicco and one of his friend’s sons.
I sneak a peek up at the stranger. He has long, dark hair that falls into his face. His eyes are dark green, and when he smiles down at me, he has a dimple in his cheek, just like Nicco.
“Hey, I am Christoff.”
“Where is your mamma, Crisscross?” I ask.
“No, Chris-toff,” he repeats.
I wrinkle my nose. That’s what I said.
I mimic him, “Criss-cross.”
He laughs, and so does Nicco.
“Gabriella, he said Christoff, not Crisscross. Crisscross would be a silly name.”
“I didn’t say Crisscross. I said, Criss-Cross,” I state in aggravation.
“You just said it again.”
“I did not.”
Nicco is always mean to me, and he always tries to embarrass me.
“It’s okay,” Christoff whispers to me. “You can call me Crisscross if you want to.”
“I don’t want to call you that. People will laugh at me. I want to call you Crisscross.”
Nicco laughs out loud again, and I don’t understand what is so funny.
“It can be a thing just between you and me, okay?” he says. “I’ll call you”—he scratches his head—“Gabby. You call me”—he stops, and his forehead crinkles like he is thinking—“Cross. What do you think?”
