“Most girls don’t even get one guy to love them the way they love you. Cherish that,” Dr. Sullivan said with a smile. I nodded slowly.
“Forever.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Hunter
Jagger told me to get into his car when we exited the hospital. I didn’t respond. I just walked over to his car and got into the passenger’s side. He was about to give me a talk I never even thought about. A way out was never my plan. But since Harlow, I was thinking about leaving my old life behind and starting over. Growing up, I always knew I wasn’t going to be one of those kids who went to college or worked at some retail store or nine-to-five job. Well, I probably wasn’t smart enough for college anyway. I wasn’t book-smart. I was more of a street-smart kind of guy. I knew my way around the city, knew how to deal with difficult situations, and handle business in a way some nerdy college guy wouldn’t be able to handle. I grew up that way and I wasn’t giving it up. Ever since living at that orphanage, I grew stronger mentally. I didn’t need a family to help me grow. All I needed was myself. Then I eventually grew up and met some people I knew were gonna help me get to where I was now. Jagger wasn’t one of them since I was the one helping him get where he was right now.
He was working for a mechanic and fixed up my car multiple times when I first came to Hastings. I remember seeing his bloody noses and busted lips every time I brought my car in, and one day I asked him why he was always beaten up every time I saw him. He then told me about the underground fighting and how he earned some extra money from it. One day he told me to go see one of his fights and the next time I saw him I told him to stop that bullshit and come work for Gunner.
Now, Gunner was what uneducated, normal people would call a gang leader. A drug lord. But he was so much more than that. I met Gunner after living in Hastings for a month. I was selling my stuff in an alley where some of his guys already sold and when they first caught me there I thought they would start a fight. They were carrying guns, not bothered about others seeing them on their waistbands. After a quick talk, they told me I should either fuck off or go with them to see their boss. I wasn’t even hesitant because I knew if I had someone giving me tasks to fulfill I’d bring in more money. So I went and those two guys introduced me to Gunner.
I knew I would be doing illegal shit with him as my boss, but I didn’t think Hastings had more to offer than just drugs and guns. About ten other people, including Jagger, worked for Gunner at the moment, and we were doing our best to keep up with all the other gangs surrounding this city. Our business was growing, with more and more people reaching out to us and asking for help and support. Most of them wanted revenge for something a friend or family member had done and those people mostly offered huge amounts of money. We never turned down an offer. Not even when we had to take down people.
“Explain,” Jagger simply said as he sat down next to me in his car. His expression was blank and he was waiting for me to talk. I sighed, leaning back in the seat and running my hands through my hair.
“She deserves to know the truth about me. I’ve treated her wrong for so long. I can’t keep it up and have her next to me.”
“So don’t,” he simply said, shrugging and raising an eyebrow. “You’ve dragged me into this and I will not allow you to just leave because you think you’re in love with my sister. We’re fucking partners, man. The shit we get assigned takes two most of the time and you know we get crazy money out of it. I just bailed out my fucking father with that money and I don’t even feel bad because I know I still have enough to pay rent, food, and Low’s college. I need this job and I can’t do it without you.”
Everything he said made perfect sense. I had too much money too, but using it for anything else than what was necessary to live wasn’t a choice. We both grew up with no money and the town knows that. If we would suddenly buy a new house or new clothes, they would start to wonder where it all came from. And we didn’t need anyone to interfere in our lives.
Yet, all he said wasn’t really cutting it for me. Only one thing really stuck with me. “I don’t think I love her. I know it.”
Fuck me. I confessed my love for Harlow in front of her damn brother. And the look I got from him was telling me exactly how stupid I sounded. But shit, saying it out loud made my heart pound in my chest and I was so close to getting out of that car and running up to her room to tell her.
“Who the fuck are you?” he asked, his voice amused but still angry. I didn’t know what to answer. Who was I? I had changed so quickly that not even I realized what was happening. I was turning into a lovesick man and I knew it would break her one day. But I couldn’t let her go. Not now that I got her.
“I’m fucked up, I know that. And I know this job is all I ever wanted. But I’m not sure I can keep it from her. I feel like I can’t hide from her anymore.”
Jagger nodded slowly, looking down at the steering wheel. “We have to be at the cave at ten. We’ll get a new task and I need you to cooperate, all right? I’ve been hiding all this from her for all this time and she knows I don’t want her to ask about my nights out. She respects that but I know it’s not right. She’s all I got and the money I get out of it helps us both. But she knows I have a job working as a mechanic, and as long as I keep that up, she won’t ask any more questions.” He turned his gaze to me, studying me for a while. “You should probably get a normal job. You know, to cover.”
A normal job. Jesus Christ.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Hunter
Jagger decided to get some burgers and fries for lunch, and since we had to wait on Harlow getting checked by the doc, we drove out to Harvey’s Diner where Bliss worked. I was sure she was working today and I hadn’t seen her in a while, so I thought going there wasn’t such a bad idea.
As we entered the diner, Bliss’s eyes were instantly on me, and a wide grin broke out on her face. If I hadn’t grown up with her, I probably never would have wanted to have anything to do with her. She’s obnoxious and loud for those who don’t really know her, but she had a big heart. She was also a bitch, always wanting to be the best at everything. At least when she was younger. Now, this would sound rude and harsh since she’s my sister, but the number of fights she got into as a teenage girl was incredible, and having our foster parents grounding her almost every weekend was record-breaking. We were once put into a home in Denver, Colorado, and people around town called her Terror. Of course, Bliss didn’t mind being called that and she once told me her behaving the way she did was freeing and fun.
She was a grown-up woman now. Her wild behavior settled down a bit, and I was so fucking thankful for it. She was a pain in the ass most of the time, texting and calling me to tell me how awful I was at being a brother, not visiting her enough at work or her home.
“How much did you pay him to come here?” she asked Jagger, still grinning and walking around the counter to hug him first. Jagger let out a chuckle, hugging her back.
“Apparently enough,” he answered, shoving his fists into his pockets. I shrugged, letting my sister kiss my cheek, then run her hand through my hair a bit too roughly.
“Damn, Hun. You still getting into fights?” Bliss said, pointing at my nose.
“Jesus, stop,” I said, annoyed by her need to get on my nerves. “We just need some food and then we’re out of here.”
Bliss laughed, rolling her eyes and nodding toward a table by the window. “Sit. Burgers, fries and Coke?” she asked, raising her brows. Jagger and I both nodded, then took a seat at the booth.
“She still with that douche from Kearney?” Jagger asked, leaning back and rolling up the sleeves of his flannel. I shook my head. “Think she broke it off. Last time she complained about driving to Kearny every weekend for an hour to find him drunk at a bar.”
He nodded slowly, taking out his phone and putting it on the table. “She deserves better. I mean, she is a handful, but she’s got some brain.”
I knew he wasn’t trying to hit on her. J
agger was too good for a girl like Bliss. He needed someone calm and stable, not mentally crazed and incredibly talkative. Jagger was a good guy. Well, besides the shit he did at work. He was caring. Just the way he treated Low was fascinating, but then I wasn’t sure he could love any other girl more than sweet Harlow. She was his everything.
“If you ever find a man strong enough to handle her physically and mentally, let me know,” I joked.
Jagger’s phone lit up and his eyes immediately went to the screen, reading what was written on the message.
“Everything okay?” I asked, knowing he was waiting on an update on Harlow.
“It’s Low. It’ll take some hours.” He turned and pushed his phone over to my side of the table to let me read her text.
Doc said he needs an MRI. It will take a while. I’ll text you as soon we’re done here. Love you x – Low
I read the text twice before giving him back his phone and nodded. “Let’s relax a little. She’ll be okay.” Jagger typed a quick reply, then nodded and leaned back again.
“Here you go.” Bliss put two plates down in front of us and filled up our glasses with Coke. “Anything new? Something I should know? Any stories you wanna tell me?”
I rolled my eyes, taking a sip from my drink and then shaking my head. “Don’t you have work to do?” I asked, annoyed. She shrugged, then looked over at Jagger with a smile. “So?”
“He thinks he’s in love with my sister,” Jagger said in an almost ironic tone.
Even though I wasn’t up for this conversation, I couldn’t help it. “I know I am.” Great.
“Huh?” Bliss’s surprised voice made me look at her, and her facial expression was confused. “Wait, you have a sister?”
Jagger nodded, quickly looking at me before returning Bliss’s gaze. “Wow, we’ve known each other for a while, yet you don’t know that I have a sister.”
“Guess we never really talked. What’s her name?” Bliss asked, now grinning again. I started eating because I knew where this was going. Fuck me.
“Low. Well, Harlow. No fucking clue what she sees in him, but I guess I can’t just tell her not to date him. She’s almost twenty.”
Bliss didn’t respond to that and I was scared as hell to look up at her. I knew she was giving me a death-stare. After a few moments of silence, I looked up at her, her hands on her hips, her lips puckered up, and one of her brows shot up. She remembered Harlow.
“I’ve met her before,” she said slowly, turning her gaze back at Jagger. “She’s a real sweetheart. How’s she doing?” Bliss was pissed, to say the least. She’d seen me mistreat her the last time we came here and she was the one who drove her home. I followed her car, making sure Harlow would get home safe, and I parked a few houses down from hers, just observing her from inside my car like a fucking creep.
Jagger eyed me for a while before looking back up at my sister. “She’s at the hospital. Got run over by a car two nights ago. Broken ribs and collapsed lung, but she’s strong and going to be all right.”
Bliss’s hand shot up to cover her mouth and her eyes widened. “Oh my God!” Her other hand reached out to Jagger and touched his shoulder. “I’m so sorry,” she said, tears appearing in her eyes. Jagger shrugged, looking back at me, then taking some fries into his mouth. “She’s incredibly strong-willed and she’s already doing so much better.”
Way to make me feel even worse. My heart ached and I wanted to turn back time and undo everything that happened.
Bliss sighed, letting her hand fall from her mouth, then smiled at Jagger with a genuine, sad smile. “I’d like to visit her if that’s okay.”
“We’ll go by later. She’s just getting tested and all that, but you’re welcome to come with us.”
I didn’t mind her coming. Harlow told me she liked Bliss the day we came here. They were nice to each other and I thought both of them could use a female friend to talk to.
But I also had lots of explaining to do.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Hunter
Bliss finally left our table, letting us eat our food without her constant questioning. I had shit coming my way now that she knew who Harlow was and what had happened to her. Bliss somehow new Jagger didn’t tell her the whole truth and what had led to Low being hit by a car. I knew she was going to ask me about it, and why I now suddenly was in love with her when just a few days earlier I had acted like an asshole outside the diner.
Bliss was confused as to how I could’ve fallen in love with Harlow so quickly. I thought about that last night and the only thing that came to mind was the panic and fear of not having her anymore. Before the accident, I hadn’t realized what kind of woman Harlow was—one I would want to keep close—but instead, I treated her badly. Now, knowing that anything could happen to her and I could lose her was scaring the shit out of me. I never realized how much of an impact one person could have if I just let them in for once, instead of playing with their feelings and messing with their minds.
All that sounded so wrong in my mind. I wasn’t that type of guy, and conflicted didn’t sound right. I was more than conflicted. I was in deep misery, and even if my brain was telling me to go back to being an asshole, my heart was ripping itself apart with the thought of losing Harlow. She was giving me a chance to show her who I was and messing up once more wasn’t really on my list.
Once again, the word confused didn’t even come close to the way I really felt. My thoughts were running wild. Fuck me.
“Jesus, man,” Jagger mumbled, raising an eyebrow at me. “Stop overthinking everything and concentrate. We got some stuff to handle tonight and I need you to cope.”
“How can you act like nothing’s happened? It’s your sister I want, you do realize that, right?” I asked, trying to find some clearance about that for myself. Christ, I was about to go mental. All of this was messing with me.
“I got that,” he simply said and then shrugged. “And she wants you too. I’ve warned you before, and another beating is already on my list of things I would do to you if you break her heart, but I’m not going to push myself between the two of you. I hate the thought of you and my sister together. You’ve been my brother for so damn long. But if it’s what makes her happy, I won’t interfere. Your business. Now, I don’t want to hear any more of that. I’m done talking about it and I just want to do my job and keep living the way I did before this all happened. I know it’s messing with your mind. Mine too, man. But we gotta push it aside now.”
I was trying to figure out if he was being honest about that or just trying to tempt me to mess up, but his eyes at that moment were just as expressive as his sister’s and I knew he was being very sincere. If that’s how he felt about all of it, I was sure I could settle my thoughts a bit.
I slowly nodded. “Thanks.”
He gave me a half-smile, taking the last bite of his burger and then leaning, propping his arm over the back of the booth. He grabbed his phone and looked down at the screen with a frown. He got up and held his phone to his ear. “Be right back,” he said before leaving the booth and going outside. Probably not about Harlow, or he would’ve told me. I knew he still had some shit to handle because of his father. If he wanted to talk about it, he knew I would listen.
“Wanna tell me what the fuck has gotten into you, Hun?” Bliss’s voice was like an alarm going off early in the morning. Annoying as hell.
She sat down in the booth where Jagger had sat and propped up her elbows on the table and her chin on her hands. I sighed, ran my hand through my hair, and shook my head. “Not really sure, sis.”
“You hurt her that night and went ape-shit on her. I had to drive her home while she was crying and then you had the audacity to sit in your car outside her house, observing her like a creep. And now you wanna tell me that you fell in love with her?”
“Fuck, Bliss. Wanna call the local radio station so the people who aren’t in here can hear about that too?” I asked sarcastically, pointing out the people around us now ey
eing me.
“Go on,” she pushed, tilting her head to the side.
I took a deep breath, not really wanting to explain anything to her. She would find out, though. So what’s the point?
“She came to visit me at the T.P. but changed her mind and ran off, then got hit by a car. Before that, I had told her not to come to see me there, but she didn’t listen. I’m not saying it’s her fault. I didn’t answer her calls and messages. We talked and we’re figuring things out. I’ve put her through some shit and she knows I wanna make it better.”
“And you really think you can be a guy she deserves?” she asked, almost amused with what she was saying. I shrugged.
“I’m trying my best, all right? I wanna try to be good. For her. And maybe also for myself.”
“Hunter,” she sighed, shaking her head. “How on earth are you going to be any good for her or yourself when you never got any help?”
I knew what she was talking about, but I’ve been through that once and it didn’t help. “I can try. I don’t need any docs or therapists to help me.”
“And you actually think you will be able to change from one day to another without any help? You raged out there last time you were here and she cried. How many times have you been aggressive in her presence?” She was keeping her voice low, but she wasn’t holding back on the anger.
“I said I will try!” She was triggering me and she knew exactly how to get to me. I was slowly starting to explode. Each time this happened, my body started to shake from the inside and my muscles tensed.
“You’re sick, Hunter. Have you told her that?” she asked, gritting her teeth. Her eyes turned dark and I knew she was just trying to help me.
I was doing my best to keep it inside. Going off at my sister was never a good idea. She knew exactly how to handle me and I was not going to give in so easily.
The Hastings Series Page 12
