I rolled my eyes because I couldn’t hide my annoyance. “What are you doing here?” I asked, shoving my fists into my front pockets to hide my tension.
“I came to see you. What else would I be doing here at almost one in the morning?” she shot back.
I wasn’t having it. Not right now. I pulled out the key to my apartment and held it out for her to take. “Go wait inside. I’m walking Gray home.” I wanted to let Bliss know that I wasn’t keeping up with her bullshit and that I wasn’t stuck to her. I had my own life. A new one. One I wanted to have to get away from my old one. But that wasn’t going to work with her showing up here unannounced every now and then.
Bliss’s eyebrow raised and she gave me a look that said: “are you fucking kidding me?”.
Quite frankly, I wasn’t. “Go, Bliss. Gray needs to get home and I’m going with her.” I tried not to sound too annoyed. I didn’t want to scare Gray off or make her think I was a total asshole.
Bliss let out a snort, which sounded stupid, to begin with, then she turned on her heels and walked back down the stairs. I heard her open my apartment, then shut the door a tad bit too forcefully and locking herself in.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair, and looking over at Gray. She seemed amused. “Your girlfriend?” she asked, seemingly untouched by Bliss’s behavior.
I shook my head and let out a laugh. “Just an old friend,” I explained, but Gray didn’t really seem to buy that answer.
“An old friend you fucked frequently,” she added, surprising me with her words. She didn’t seem like the girl to use vulgar language, but something about it was amusing.
The corners of my mouth lifted slowly and then I nodded. “Some months ago. She’s my best friend’s sister. It’s complicated,” I told her and started walking down the stairs. Gray followed me and puckered her lips to indicate she was thinking about something. After we exited the building, she looked up at the windows and pressed her lips into a thin line before letting out a chuckle.
I didn’t look up because I knew what she was seeing. And she was enjoying it. “She’s looking out the window, isn’t she?” I asked, not able to hold back a chuckle myself.
“Maybe,” Gray answered, and to provoke Bliss just a little more, she grabbed my hand and lifted my arm to wrap around her shoulders. This time I laughed, shaking my head but pulling her closer to my side. “You’re pushing me deeper in that puddle of shit this way, you know that?” I asked but couldn’t help from kissing the top of her head.
I expected my move to feel wrong since Gray and I met just hours ago. But somehow, it felt right having her this close. I wasn’t just using her to make Bliss jealous. Well, to be fair, Gray started it. But I knew I wanted to hold her like this again after tonight.
“She seems nice. But I can tell you’re not feeling what she’s feeling.”
That sentence made me look down at her with interest and a little bit of confusion. “You think she’s got feelings for me?” I asked.
Gray rolled her eyes and nodded. “God, why do men not notice that? I mean, she’s jealous of me and probably thinks we’re having sex. She’s hurt because you ignored her texts and she came all the way here, at night, to see you. My advice? Tell her what you really feel. Because I don’t think she knows and that’s not fair.”
Of course, she was right. But it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. Sure, being honest was important. But Bliss was different. If I’d tell her off, she would make sure my life would be hell from that moment on and I wasn’t up for that bullshit.
I kept quiet because I didn’t know what to say to that. I knew I should be doing exactly that right after getting back home, but I was sure I wouldn’t.
Gray noticed my silence and knew she shouldn’t keep on talking about that matter anymore. “And, hey,” she then said, lightly punching my stomach. “You can’t just ignore someone’s texts. That’s rude. If you’d ignore my texts, I’d probably block you immediately.” She grinned and stopped walking. She pointed to a door. “That’s me.”
I stepped away from her to give her some space, then pushed my hands back into my pockets. I smiled at her, tilting my head to the side. “For that, I would need your phone number,” I said.
She let out a laugh and reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a bundle of keys. “Very smooth.” She smiled and then nodded in my direction, indicating me to go back home. “I’ll let you have my number as soon as you’ve talked to Bliss. She deserves that. And I don’t want someone who’s got business going on with another girl.”
I could tell she was being serious. And she was also right.
“I will,” I told her with all honesty.
“Good. I’ll see you around.” And with that, she opened the door and went inside with one last glance back at me.
One thing was for sure: I liked her and because of her, I was going to confront Bliss tonight.
Chapter Five
Jagger
I found Bliss sitting on my couch with a beer bottle in her hand and an annoyed but tired expression on her face. I wondered why she came here out of the blue. For sex? Because she missed me? I didn’t see a point in any of those two reasons. Mostly because she hadn’t heard from me in a while and I didn’t ask her to come.
I sighed at her eyeing me as I took off my jacket and hung it on the hook at the back of my front door. “Where did you get that beer?” I asked, knowing I didn’t have that type of beer in my fridge. She raised a brow, then leaned back and took long sips of her bottle. “I met some of your new friends upstairs. They seem nice,” she told me in a challenging voice. What the fuck was that for? It’s not like I was fucking any of them. Even if that was the case, she had no right to act this way.
“They are. Really nice, actually,” I shot back and stood there in front of the couch, my arms crossed and my eyes on hers. “Why are you here, Bliss?” I finally asked, thinking at the back of my mind that I was doing this for a girl I just met. A girl who stunned me by just being herself and not trying to flirt or get noticed by anyone.
“Because last time I came here you told me your door was open and I could come whenever I wanted.”
Well, that was a big fat lie from her side. “I never said those words. Last time you were here I told you I didn’t have time for you. Or us. Whatever this between us was.”
It somehow felt good telling her all that but her hurt expression made it all worse. Fucking great.
“Was?” she asked silently, knowing exactly how sad she could sound with her manipulative voice. One thing most people didn’t know about Bliss was, that she was a master at playing with people’s minds. She was good at twisting things people said in a way that would only benefit her and make others feel weak and wrong. That shit didn’t work with me. I’ve been there before. Not happening again.
“Yes. Past tense,” I explained in a mocking tone. “We were fucking. What the hell did you think was going to happen between us? We’ve known each other for years and we basically started fucking because I was mad at Hunter for sleeping with my sister.”
That one punched her right in the face. Upfront and with full force. But I had to get that shit straight. I was done playing her games.
“And you never had the guts to open up like that about your feelings before I fell in love with you?” This time I laughed. Fucking hell. Did she really wanna go down that road and pull the love-card on me?
“Bullshit,” I breathed and shook my head, running my hand through my hair and pulling at the ends to release some stress that was building up inside of me.
“You don’t love me,” I pointed out and watched her get up from the couch, leaving her beer on the small table between us. She walked around it, keeping her eyes on mine and Jesus Christ, was she actually going to cry now too?
I let out a harsh laugh and took a few steps back to gain some distance between us again. “How would you know? You never asked how I was feeling. What I felt for you, to be clearer.” She stopped a few f
eet away, mimicking my stance and crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes were watering, and, in some seconds, there would be tears running down her cheeks. What a talented little actress she was.
“You knew we were just fucking, Bliss. We were having fun and that’s it. You knew that from the start and in the beginning it worked. So why weren’t you the one to stop it? To step back and tell me we couldn’t do this anymore because you were catching feelings?” I had my fair points and I saw a little flash in her eyes telling me what I was saying was the truth.
I waited for her to answer but she just stood there in silence. I sighed, knowing that in moments like this I would have to be the one to say something first. She was stubborn, and if I wanted her out of my apartment, I had to make the first step. Once again.
“I’m sorry,” I started and thought about what I wanted to say next. “But this has been going on for too long and I should’ve stopped a long time ago. I moved here to get away from everything happening in Hastings. After Dean’s death, all I wanted to do was move far away and stay on the down-low to start over again and be alone with my thoughts. I couldn’t move too far because I didn’t want Low to worry.” That was a good apology, right? I was being honest. A little too late, but better late than never.
“So…I was a distraction,” she said in a monotone, her tone not matching the teary eyes.
I chuckled because I couldn’t believe she was pulling that shit on me. “Yes. And you knew you were. We talked about that the first night I was at your place. After Harlow’s accident. I came to you to talk and you offered me to stay at your place to distract myself. Hell, you literally offered to sleep with me to make me feel better.”
Everything I was saying was honesty at its finest, and Bliss knew. She lowered her head, staring at her hands while playing with her fingers. This time I sighed and reached out to touch her shoulder. When I realized it was a shitty gesture, I moved my hand up and with two fingers, I lifted her chin, so she had to look at me. “You can’t play with me like that, Bliss. I know you too well. I’m done playing. And again, I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way. It wasn’t my intention. I just had to grow a pair to tell you.”
She studied my face after I stopped talking and swallowed hard before nodding. “It’s okay, I guess,” she told me and shrugged it off quickly. “I mean, I was naïve. I just liked being close to you.”
I nodded, pressing my lips into a thin line, and cursing myself for not being able to keep her at a distance when she was acting this way. I pulled her to me and hugged her to my chest.
“We can be friends, right?” she asked quietly. Thank fuck for that. I didn’t want her to go back home and stay angry at me for the rest of her life.
“Of course. I just…need some space, you know? I haven’t been able to find myself yet.” Shooting Dean turned some sort of switch inside of me and now all I felt inside was emptiness. It’s not that I wasn’t feeling anything at all, I just didn’t know who I really was anymore. The shooting itself wasn’t the problem. I killed people in the past. Was a coldhearted killer. But killing your own father was hard, even if he dragged you and your little sister through hell half your lives.
Bliss didn’t answer me, and I thought it was best if we just stopped talking about that matter. I let her go from my embrace and looked down at her with a small smile. “It’s late.” With that, I intended to go to sleep as soon as possible.
“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” she asked, a challenging tone escaping her again. No, I didn’t want her to sleep on the couch. But I didn’t want to sleep in my bed with her, either. If I was going to put boundaries between us, then I had to start with it right now.
“No, I’ll take the couch.” I nodded toward the bedroom. “Go on. You know where all the things are.” Bliss slowly nodded and to my surprise, her eyes were back to normal. Almost emotionless and not sad at all.
I think she just had to get it right in her head and tell herself that she didn’t love me the way she thought she did. I saw it on her face. She just needed someone to make her feel appreciated. I could give her that, but without sex. Or feelings.
“Okay, goodnight then,” she said and gave me a quick smile before walking toward my bedroom door. A sigh of relief escaped me, and I let my head fall back, closing my eyes and thanking Gray for pushing me to talk to Bliss.
Sure, I was happy to have made up with Bliss and talk it out, but I was more excited about Gray’s number, which she promised to give me when I was done with this all.
So tomorrow, I’d make sure to visit Gray at work.
Chapter Six
Jagger
“Sorry I don’t have any more to eat here. I usually go out and grab something at the bakery or coffee shop,” I told Bliss as she took another bite of her apple.
She shrugged, leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing one arm over her chest. “I’ll find a drive-through on my way back to Hastings. What are you up to today?” she then asked and tilted her head.
My plan for today was to visit Gray at work. She told me yesterday where her little studio is, and I wasn’t hesitating on seeing her again. After last night, she left a very sweet and positive impression and I couldn’t seem to shake her off my mind.
“I gotta run some errands.” My answer was simple, and I didn’t feel like she had to know exactly what my schedule for the day looked like. “Do you need some money for gas? It’s a long drive back home.” The least I could do was to offer her something more than just a damn apple. In the end, she still worked at that diner on the highway. Even though Hunter paid her rent, I was sure she was barely getting by with the money she made. And gas was expensive.
“I got it,” she told me and took the last bite before throwing what was left of the apple into the bin. Of course, she wouldn’t accept any of my money either. I had too much of it and I had no idea what to do with it. Low and Hunter used it to renovate Frankie’s Diner and they also sent some to Frankie’s family after the funeral. They had a job and a new life. But I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life yet. Working for Gunner had been fun but exhausting. Leaving his business was the first step into the normal world. Well, I did have a job at the mechanic’s in Hastings, but I mostly did it to get my mind off shit that was bothering me. It was more of a hobby than a job. Now, I was in Newton-fucking-Kansas and I had no clue about what my life would end up being like.
“You got everything?” I followed Bliss to the front door and reached into my jacket, pulling out my wallet and taking out a hundred-dollar bill. Without saying a word, I pushed the bill into her back pocket and gave her a warning look, not to start complaining. She sighed and shook her head. “Just remember that every cent you give me will come back to you someday.” At least she wasn’t like some girls, greedy for money and all shiny things.
“Until that day comes, you’ll forget about it,” I grinned and nodded toward the door. “Drive safe,” I added, and to be fully honest, I wasn’t sure what to do. Luckily, Bliss did the first move and grabbed her bag, put her hand on my shoulder, and then left with a quick goodbye. She didn’t complicate things after last night and I was somewhat positive that she accepted what I told her. That was a big step, even for Bliss. Normally, she would start bitchin’ around but this time, she just let it slip.
***
The street to Gray’s little art studio was located near a railway and the building she said wasn’t a big deal was impressively large. The small sign next to the entrance door said: “Gray Washington’s Art Gallery & Studio” and the open sign had a creative twist to it with its background painted as Van Gogh’s Starry Night. I couldn’t help but smile and I was sure I looked like a fool, grinning at a damn sign.
Since it was an open building for people to go in and view her paintings, and maybe buy them, I pulled the door toward me and entered the slightly cool room. The AC was on and I remembered Gray saying that she usually wears a sweater to work, since the heat could destroy her painting. It was a little ch
illy, but I didn’t mind. I looked around and the big paintings on the walls immediately caught my interest. I’d seen her work before at Sage’s house, but these were different. More realistic and rather detailed compared to the abstract ones I’d already seen.
“I really hope you talked to Bliss and clarified things with her before coming here.” Her voice made me grin wider and I turned to see her standing a few feet away from me with a large brush in her left hand.
“Of course I did. And now I’m ready to get to know you better.” I glanced around again and pushed my hands into my pockets. “You’re incredibly talented, Miss Washington. Great name, by the way,” I pointed out.
Gray chuckled and then nodded. “Sadly, George Washington is not a relative of mine. Guess I just lucked out with the name.”
I let out a small laugh and took some steps closer, closing the space between us. “It’s really nice to see you in daylight. You think I could now actually count all those freckles on your face?” I had no idea what had gotten into me. Where did that cheesy talk come from? I was good at flirting with girls but never had I said something corny like that. Shit.
I expected Gray to laugh or push me off, but she smiled sweetly and shrugged to answer my stupid question. “You can try. The last few guys got to around forty.” That’s when it hit me. She was being sarcastic and that only made me want to get closer. Fuck, she was lighting up something in me that I couldn’t explain.
I chuckled this time and shook my head, reaching out my hands to grab her by the waist and pull her close. I wasn’t going to kiss her, because then I would’ve probably gotten a smack across the face, but I did want to hold her. Like last night, when she put my arm around her shoulder and snuggled up against my side. That was nice. I wanted that again.
The Hastings Series Page 33
