by Elly Swartz
And then I feel it.
A tiny speck of proud.
56
Just a Box
Over the next six months, there are lots of changes that make me feel all the feels. Sam comes to trap practice and tells the squad what happened. She’s on probation for now, but Dad announces he’ll reevaluate next season. She apologizes to everyone. Well, almost everyone. She’s still mad at me. Ava thinks Sam just needs time. But I’m not so sure. She refuses to answer my texts or phone calls and won’t sit at our lunch table anymore. It makes me supersad inside, but I know in my heart of truths that telling Dad was the right thing to do. Ava agrees. So does Belle. But Gracie isn’t totally convinced. She sits with Sam at lunch. I broke a promise. And that’s a big thing.
My Go On, Change the World! notebook has a page that just says:
1. Believe.
2. Love.
3. Let go.
Gramps and I plant two small blueberry bushes. One for Nana and one for Izzie.
Mom and I go to school and finish cleaning out my locker. Together. And each one of my boxes empties. A little at a time until they’re just a bunch of boxes. Eleven empty boxes. One empty locker. Twelve charts full of X’s.
Dr. Sparrow says I’m allowed to keep my photos of Izzie in my Remember Me album and my gecko necklace. As for the rest, it’s gone, and Dr. Sparrow was right. My mind helps my heart remember the things that are important.
At today’s session, she reminds me that Cipher may come back and tells me what to do if I get those worried, I-can’t-let-go feelings again. We make a list together and put it in my Go On, Change the World! notebook.
1. Talk back to Cipher.
2. Make a chart.
3. Rate your stuff from 1 to 10.
4. Toss it.
5. Move on.
6. Sketch.
7. Listen to music.
After my appointment with Dr. Sparrow, I ride my bike to Ava’s. She tells me the coding club finally got the Find Me sweater to work and hands me a green one for Bert and blue one for Batman.
I hug my best friend and then tell her everything. She promises to help if Cipher returns. I add her to my list.
8. Talk to Ava.
That night, I’m tucked under Nana’s blue afghan, playing Litmus with Mom, Dad, Dillon, and Charlie.
The doorbell rings.
I open our bright-blue door, and standing there is Rita, holding baby #2.
* * *
I now know I don’t need things to remember people or places or feelings. I have a healthy brain and a big heart.
Maggie’s Playlist
Alabama Shakes—“I Found You”
Grace Potter—“Timekeeper”
Carole King—“Up on the Roof”
Train—“Calling All Angels”
Indigo Girls—“Closer to Fine”
Bob Dylan—“Blowin’ in the Wind”
Marvin Gaye—“Mercy Mercy Me”
Bob Dylan—“Mr. Tambourine Man”
Julia Brennan—“Inner Demons”
Counting Crows—“You Can’t Count On Me”
Jimmy Buffett—“Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On”
A Note on Hoarding in Children from Dr. Kathleen Trainor, Clinical Psychologist
Many children like to collect items of interest—for example, stuffed animals, rocks, seashells, or Matchbox cars. Children who hoard collect things randomly that objectively seem to have little or no value. This may include candy wrappers, food containers, used straws, broken toys, or clothes that no longer fit—items that to an objective observer can look like garbage. These children have a very strong emotional attachment to these saved things. In addition, they often worry excessively about their hoarded items, for fear they may be gone.
Children who hoard usually keep their hoarded items in their room in a special place and frequently need to check to make sure they are all there. It often feels like these saved things are so important that they have feelings and to throw them away would be “killing” them. Children’s anxiety about their hoarded items can be so excessive that it can interfere with their functioning. The thought that anyone would throw any of these things away can cause them to panic and become very angry and upset.
There is not a lot of research about children who hoard, but cognitive behavioral therapy, which involves encouraging the child to work in a step-by-step manner to throw away their hoarded items and manage their anxious feelings, has been shown to be an effective approach to help these children.
Author’s Note
In the story, Maggie is part of a trapshooting team. For those who may not be familiar with trap, it’s a sport where participants use a shotgun to break saucer-shaped clay discs thrown into the air from a spring device called a trap machine. Trapshooting is a sport that has long been a part of the Olympic Games.
Experts Consulted
Hoarding in Children
Dr. Kathleen Trainor, founder of the Trainor Center in Natick, Massachusetts, has treated children and adolescents with anxiety-based disorders using the latest in evidence-based approaches for more than thirty years. Her practice, which focuses on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is tailored to meet each child’s needs. A senior psychologist on the staff of the Child Psychiatry Clinic at Massachusetts General Hospital, Dr. Trainor holds a Master’s Degree in social work and a Doctorate in clinical psychology. She has been on the faculty of Harvard Medical School for more than twenty-five years.
Since 1988, she has been a private practice psychotherapist, providing adult, adolescent, couple, and family CBT in solo practice as a licensed independent certified social worker (LICSW) and then as a licensed psychologist. Dr. Trainor presents to professional and community groups in the areas of Cognitive Behavioral Treatment of Anxiety Disorders, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Tourette’s syndrome, Autism, Trichotillomania, and more. She also provides training and consultations to schools and therapists in various clinical settings.
She is known for her unique and widely used 7-Step TRAINOR Method featured in her book, Calming Your Anxious Child: Words to Say and Things to Do.
Adoption and Short-Term Foster Care
Amy S. Cohen, LICSW, Executive Director of Adoptions With Love (AWL), has more than thirty-one years of experience working in the field of adoption, along with a Bachelor’s Degree in psychology and a Master’s Degree in social work. She has been working at AWL since 1986, and she became Executive Director in October 2001.
Cohen works extensively with expectant birth parents over the phone and in person. She also conducts home studies and provides postplacement services for adoptive families. She is married and has two adult children and a grandson.
Eastern Painted Turtle Information
Greg Mertz, DVM, has treated or presided over the care of one hundred thousand wild animals. He started his career as a research assistant in an anthracite coal research laboratory in University Park, Pennsylvania. His passion for life sciences education led him to become a veterinarian.
Mertz is now Chief Executive Officer of the New England Wildlife Center (NEWC), where he combines his skills in veterinary medicine with his interest in natural history and wildlife biology. It was his idea to build NEWC’s Thomas E. Curtis Wildlife Hospital and Education Center. He also serves as the Odd Pet Vet, running NEWC’s fee-for-service commercial veterinary practice, which he founded in 1995. He treats about one hundred species of animals, including chickens, pigeons, parrots, degus, rabbits, guinea pigs, rats, mice, hamsters, all manner of snakes, lizards, and turtles, and invertebrates like hermit crabs, cockroaches, tarantulas, millipedes, and scorpions. One hundred percent of funds earned help fund the work of NEWC.
Mertz writes a column for the Pet Gazette and has produced and hosted more than 150 episodes of New England’s Wild Legacy, a cable access television program.
Mertz has been on the teaching staff of Mount Ida College, Dowling College, the National M
useum of Natural History at the Smithsonian, and the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University. He also designed and wrote the curricula for the Sevens and As Clear As Mud educational programs that are presented by NEWC and used by many of Boston’s and surrounding communities’ elementary and middle schools. In addition Greg is the lead veterinarian for the Museum of Science in Boston and Mass Audubon’s Drumlin Farm Wildlife Sanctuary.
Acknowledgments
This story centers around holding things in your heart that are important to you. Thankfully, my heart is full. Of love. Of memories. Of people who mean everything to me. Topping that list is my family.
James, there is no one I want to share this wonderful life with more than you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. Thank you for always being by my side. For loving me so completely. And for being you.
Joshua and Gregory, I am so proud and grateful and happy to be your mom. You bring love and light and laughter to my world and my heart every day. Love you huge!
Dad and Sandy and Gia, there are no more triumphant champions of my books and my family and me than you three. How lucky I am to have you leading the way. Love you.
To my brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, love you so much. And to Rena, hugs and thanks and hats off for coming up with the title. And to Joan, for believing after only the first twenty pages that this story should be told.
To Joy Peskin, my deepest gratitude. Thank you for your editorial input, for loving Maggie, and for believing in my ability to tell her story. And to Elizabeth Lee, Lindsay Wagner, Kelsey Marrujo, Lucy Del Priore, Katie Halata, Madison Furr and #TeamGiveandTake, a huge and heartfelt thank-you for all your hard work in bringing this book into the world. Grateful to be part of the FSG family.
Andrea Cascardi, thank you for believing in me. I am grateful for your insight, your input, and your guidance. Excited to be working together. I can’t wait to see where our path leads.
Trish Lawrence, thank you for helping me bring Maggie’s story to readers, and for encouraging me to be the best writer I can be. And for my EMLA family, may all your books always grace the shelves.
Anna Kontos, a forever thanks and love for all your help with the curriculum guides, the story, and life.
A huge thanks to Rayna Freedman for all the book love, friendship, and help with the curriculum guide.
To my early readers—Joan Siff, Reesa Fischer, Sarah Aronson, Katrina Knudson, Victoria Coe, Sarah Azibo, Sophie McKibben—I am most thankful for your kindness, input, guidance, and friendship.
Joshua and Sophie, I’m most grateful for the podcast insight, inspiration, and input. And, Gregory, thank you huge for the brainstorming sessions, feedback, and story guidance.
Dr. Kathleen Trainor, Maggie could not have been brought to life without your insight, knowledge, and expertise. You are gracious and wise. Thank you!
Dr. Armin Lilienfeld, thank you for your thoughts on the issue of dementia, and how it might present in Maggie’s world. Most grateful for your feedback.
To the Hot Shots team of Fin Fur and Feather in Millis, Massachusetts, a huge thanks for teaching me how to shoot trap and allowing me to learn alongside all of you. To Taylor, Deb, and George Connors, a special thanks for introducing me to the world of trap. You’re a very special family, and I so appreciate all your help.
Amy Cohen, I am most grateful for you and the time taken to educate me about adoptions and foster care in Massachusetts. You do so much for so many every day. Thank you!
Jamie Grossman and Dana, my heart is full. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me and for sharing your stories and your love for babies awaiting adoption. Truly inspiring.
Dr. Greg Mertz, most appreciative of your turtle expertise and kindness. I love the Odd Pet Vet and the New England Wildlife Center!
And to the educators and librarians out there, my deepest admiration and gratitude. Because of you, the books I write find the readers who need them most. Thank you for caring about, understanding, seeing, and knowing all the students who come into your classrooms and libraries every day.
Finally, to my readers. You are my heroes. Every day you show up. Every day you dig deep and find the courage to be you. Stay true to you. You are special.
With so much gratitude,
Elly
PS It truly takes a village. Thank you all!
About the Author
Elly Swartz grew up in Yardley, Pennsylvania, where she lived a happy childhood filled with laughs, family dinners, and crooked birthday cakes. She studied psychology at Boston University and received a law degree from Georgetown University Law Center. Elly now lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two sons. Finding Perfect was her debut novel. Visit ellyswartz.com, or sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
1. Baby Girl
2. The Green Jell -O Declaration
3. Eagle Eyes
4. A Whole Heap
5. The Kind of Thing Big Sisters Do
6. A Handful of Dandelions and a Few Fat Worms
7. The Napping Room
8. Dried Mango and Other Stuff
9. Spaghetti and Meatballs for Six
10. Happy Mode
11. Mr. Spud
12. Hot Dogs, Mustard, and Diapers
13. Love You, Little Bean
14. Blue Glitter and the Moon
15. Good-Bye Day
16. Ruby Red
17. Dance Party
18. Change of Plans
19. Just In Case
20. Frog or Lizard
21. The Girl with the Sparkly Headband
22. Not Garbage!
23. Drift and Drain
24. A Mound of Scared
25. A Plan
26. Meatball Sub
27. Boxes Under My Bed
28. The Hole in My Heart
29. Like Dominoes
30. They’re Me
31. Burn Baby Burn
32. Broken Promise
33. All of Me
34. Moon Days
35. Good-Bye, Little Bean
36. One More Little Human
37. Remember Me
38. Skip It
39. A Really Good Thing
40. Rock Day
41. Worth Missing
42. The Fabric of Things
43. Unicorns
44. Shell and All
45. A Smidgen of Hope
46. Lost or Found
47. Dandelion Necklace
48. Just Believe
49. One Day
50. Girl Power
51. A Big Fat Mistake
52. Consequences
53. Find My Way
54. Did You Know?
55. Forever Pet
56. Just a Box
Maggie’s Playlist
A Note on Hoarding in Children from Dr. Kathleen Trainor, Clinical Psychologist
Author’s Note
Experts Consulted
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Copyright
Copyright © 2019 by Elly Swartz
Farrar Straus Giroux Books for Young Readers
An imprint of Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, LLC
120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271
mackids.co
m
All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Swartz, Elly D., author.
Title: Give and take / Elly Swartz.
Description: First edition. | New York: Farrar Straus Giroux, 2019. |
Summary: When eleven-year-old Maggie’s parents become temporary foster
parents for a new baby, her tendency to hoard spirals out of control.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018036025 | ISBN 9780374308216 (hardcover)
Subjects: | CYAC: Family life—Fiction. | Hoarders—Fiction. | Foster home
care—Fiction. | Babies—Fiction. | Skeet shooting—Fiction.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.S926 Giv 2019 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018036025
Our ebooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact your local bookseller or the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at 1-800-221-7945, extension 5442, or by email at [email protected].
First hardcover edition, 2019
eBook edition, October 2019
eISBN 9780374308209
