No reply.
I finished putting up the tent, taking extra care to stake it deeply into the ground, and then I unpacked some bedding and shook it out thoroughly. I felt her eyes on me as I searched for a toothbrush in my backpack, re-folded my clothes, and washed my face. When I had done everything I could think of, I had no choice but to face her accusing stare.
I approached her tentatively under the guise of checking her foot. The bandage was soaked again, and when I started to unwrap it, she pulled away, but quickly changed her mind when she noticed Regan taking interest.
I pushed her pant leg up a bit to expose the smooth skin of her shin and noticed a gold band around her ankle. Even though it wasn’t quite dark yet, I still had to strain to make out the details—sections of the band around the stones had rubbed off to reveal a black metal underneath, and it was scratched and gouged. The weight of it was far too heavy for ordinary jewelry. Her eyes widened when I rolled it around looking for the clasp, and she suddenly became extremely nervous—the waning sound of a helicopter retreating for the night made me realize why.
But I let it go.
“Need some help over there, mate?” Regan asked eagerly.
I gritted my teeth. An insanely protective instinct made me angry that he’d even asked. “Sure don’t,” I said.
Kaya sighed in relief as I pulled the fabric of her pants back down over the anklet. As Regan watched out of the corner of his eye, I forced myself to get back to business, but it was hard to concentrate. Her skin was so smooth and flawless, and the gentle curve of her ankle fit perfectly in my hand.
“I never did congratulate you on getting as far as you did in that race,” I said as I cleaned and wrapped her foot. It looked like it probably needed another stitch or two, but I didn’t want to put her through that. I also couldn’t bear the thought of Regan touching her any more than he already had. “It takes a lot of courage to even attempt a race like that. You probably could have gotten to the end, you know. What was there, about five hours left? I bet you could have made it… not many people could get that far…” I was rambling, desperate to have her say something.
“Wow, you’ve got some nerve,” she said icily. “You stole that accomplishment from me, you know.”
“I’m sorry… I—”
“You, what? Figured it was okay to take someone against their will? For what, money? And that all would be forgiven with a few compliments?”
Her anger was a knife in my heart.
“It’s not what you think there, girlie,” said Seth, stepping in and speaking up for me. “We’re not bad people, just folks tryin’ to fix a few wrongs.”
“Then tell me, for God’s sake, tell me why I am here? Give me one reason why I shouldn’t hate you all any less than I do right now!” she yelled.
The thought that she might actually hate me knocked the wind from my lungs with more force than all the punches I’d ever taken to the gut combined. I had no response.
“Something very precious was taken from all of us,” said Regan, setting a frying pan down on a stump, “and your father is responsible. He sold the drug, Cecalitrin, to the public even though he knew the risks. Many people tried to stop him, but it’s impossible to win a fight against a man with unlimited resources. But now, we finally have the upper hand. We have something more precious to him than money: you.”
Her mouth widened a bit, and then she laughed. “Ha! Me? More precious than money? That’s hilarious!”
Regan didn’t bat an eye. “You are very valuable to him, Kaya Lowen. I haven’t figured out why exactly, but I will.”
“I know my father is a complicated man,” Kaya said firmly, “but I don’t think he would ever hurt anyone intentionally.”
I got the feeling she really didn’t believe her own words. Regan stood and pulled his cap down lower over his forehead. His hate for Henry Lowen oozed out of him. “Oh, he sure would. He administered Cecalitrin to his own wife, and she ended up just like my sister did, like Seth’s wife, and like Luke’s mom—all dead.”
Kaya gasped, and unshed tears sparkled in her eyes. She seemed to be giving her response some thought. “I’m so sorry for all your losses,” she said softly. “Truly, I am. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love. Henry’s methods may be strange, but he’s not a monster,” she added, stumbling over the words. “I’m sure he didn’t plan… he couldn’t have…”
Regan stopped her midsentence, his tone not as harsh as before. He was a sucker for female tears. One or two drops from a girl he had an eye on, and he’d hand over his wallet and car keys. “Your mother lost her mind and eventually took her own life, correct? Just like our loved ones did. I lost my best friend—my sister—and Cecalitrin was the cause. Henry Lowen was the cause.”
“But Henry wouldn’t—”
“My cousin worked at lab in Montreal and had proof that Henry paid off people to look the other way when it came to getting the drug ready for market. He had copies of forged legal documents, cash ‘donations’ to the FDA, along with the laboratory findings confirming the claims against the drug were true. Minutes before that evidence would have been in my hands, the building blew up. My cousin’s body was never found.”
None of us spoke. Kaya’s brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of it all. “But, how can a fertility drug make people commit suicide?” she asked cautiously.
Regan spoke as if he’d already explained it a thousand times. “Cecalitrin is an anti-estrogen drug that causes the hypothalamus and pituitary gland located in the brain to release hormones that stimulate the ovaries to produce eggs. It also causes Craniopharyngiomas—slow-growing tumors—to develop. They push on the hypothalamus, causing hormonal imbalance and chemical disruptions in the brain.”
“English please, Doctor Death,” Seth interjected.
“Oh for God’s sake, the girl isn’t stupid!” Regan barked, and then he explained patiently, for Seth’s sake. “The pituitary gland controls the levels of hormones made by most endocrine glands in the body. If it is sending the wrong messages, then symptoms of what appears to be hypothyroidism start to present: thinning hair, slurred speech, migraines, edema, as well as psychosis such as obsessions, hallucinations, paranoia, and suicidal ruminations. Eight out of ten women will eventually conceive while taking the drug, but they are unaware of the ticking time bomb in their heads.”
“How do you know this?” Kaya asked.
The fire crackled, and Regan rubbed his eyes. “Nine years wasting my time pursuing the dream—I share Henry’s passion for treating infertility, too. My sister wanted to conceive and couldn’t. Our last hope was Cecalitrin. She took it for five months, and five months later, she died.”
The leaves shook in a light breeze, smoke wafted up my nose, and a bird that was sweetly singing stopped.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Regan,” Kaya said sincerely.
“I should have known better. I should have done more research,” he muttered.
Regan partly blamed himself for his sister’s death, and his own guilt and heartache added fuel to his revenge.
“So, what do you want to do with me?” Kaya asked tentatively.
I looked hard at Regan, silently willing him not to answer that question. But of course, he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
“Well, we are going to use you to get your daddy to give us money so Luke here can get Louisa back, and then we will force him to shut down Eronel.”
“He won’t,” she said flatly.
“He’ll have to because he wants you back so desperately. Why is that, Kaya? Are you actually made of gold? Care to share?” Regan stared at her hard, but she stayed silent. “Not gonna tell, eh? Well then, here’s what’s going to happen…”
“Drop it, Regan,” I said, shaking my head at him. But he kept talking, ignoring me.
“We’re going to hurt Henry where he’ll feel it most…”
“That’s enough, Regan,” warned Seth, but Regan still kept on.
“We
are going to film a little documentary for him and show him what happens when we inject you with Cecalitrin. Then we will record you for a few months while you lose your mind and slip into insanity. We’ll hand you a knife and watch as you take your own life just like our loved ones did. I’ll have the great pleasure of being the director of this movie and performing the autopsy on your body afterward.”
Kaya’s eyes widened in horror. I jumped to my feet and positioned myself in front of her, feeling the world slow down. “I never agreed to any of that, Regan. No one uses her for anything. No harm comes to her,” I warned, feeling my blood pump efficiently through my muscles as my heart pounded steadily.
“We have a plan!” Regan spat.
“I’ll kill you… I’ll kill both of you bastards. I swear, I’ll rip your heads off if either of you so much as breathes in her direction!”
Regan stepped back from the fire, clearly excited to see the fighter he was always trying to coax out of me. Branches stopped swaying, flames froze mid leap, and Regan and Seth’s movements became sloth-like. I didn’t want Kaya to see this side of me, but I had no problem using it to protect her.
“Luke, relax,” Seth said, putting his hands up.
Regan grinned. “Yeah, take it easy there, little buddy,” he said, but his eyes were shining with exhilaration, “I’m just joking around.”
Joking around or not, I lunged for Regan and put my hands around his throat. His excitement to see the fighter in me instantly turned to fear. This wasn’t like those times in the bar when I was saving his ass—he was about to have his handed to him on a platter. I tightened my grip, digging my fingers into the flesh around his esophagus until he tried to choke out an apology.
“Listen, I’m sorry for what I said. Really I am. I won’t touch her. Promise.”
I let go, and he gasped for breath. The knife he’d been using to cut potatoes with was in my hand before he’d even remembered he’d set it at his feet. Without protest from either of them, I marched over to Kaya and dropped to my knees before her. She shook with fear, her eyes wide as she stared at the blade in my hand. Keeping my composure, I cut the rope from her wrists, her skin red and raw from struggling to get free. She looked at me curiously then shut her eyes tight, as if trying to make us all go away.
“Either you both remain my friends or become my foes,” I warned Seth and Regan, and then I stood to face them.
Seth spoke first, clearly rattled. “Geez Luke, relax. Doctor Death is just playing the dramatic, sadistic, vengeful, bastard act. Obviously, he didn’t get that part in the school play or something. No harm will come to this girl. You have my word.” He moved past the fire, around the sleeping dog, and held out his hand, looking me dead in the eye as I shook it. “On my honor.”
Regan let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his throat. “Plans change, I guess.”
The wind picked up, lightly pushing around the fire and rustling the pines, and then it grew stronger as a black mass in the sky approached. We moved quickly, securing tents and packing up food while the temperature in the air dropped. The rain came first, a warning that it was about to pour. Seth and Regan piled into their tent, taking Brutus with them, and I called for Kaya to come into mine. She didn’t move. She just sat there, shaking like a leaf, even though I knew she heard me. I didn’t want to force her, but then again I couldn’t leave her to freeze.
“I am going to pick you up, okay?” I said. Reaching under her legs, I pulled her up into my arms, then got back in the tent and secured the flap.
The lantern cast a warm, yellow glow on the makeshift walls as I dug around for warmer clothes. “You’re freezing. Put this on,” I said, tossing her my cleanest flannel shirt.
She still wouldn’t budge. She was scared and upset, and she had every right to be. I knew I had to try to comfort her, but I was part of the problem. “Listen, I am sorry about your dad. I can’t imagine what you must be going through—”
“I guess I always sort of—always knew he was that bad,” she replied quickly.
The wind blew, the tent shook, and the rain poured. We were going to get hit hard, and there was nothing to do but ride it out. I stretched out on the sleeping bag and put my arm under my head, the weather almost lulling me to sleep, until I realized that the louder it got, the faster Kaya’s breathing became. I propped up on an elbow and looked at her eyes, now as wide as saucers. “What’s the matter?” I asked and reached over to touch her arm. It was as cold as ice. “Kaya, are you hurt? What’s wrong?”
She lunged for the tent flap, and I caught her by the waist.
“I can’t let… I have to get out… you can’t see me like this,” she stammered.
“See you like what? I don’t care what you look like, and there’s no way you are going out there.”
I turned her around to face me. Panic was written all over her face. I had seen my Mum like this a few times when she had anxiety attacks, and I wondered if that’s what was going on. It would have been pretty understandable, all things considered. “Everything will be all right,” I said gently. “Regan was just trying to scare you. He would never do anything like that, and—”
“No… you don’t understand.” Tears spilled from her eyes, and her breathing became so fast I was worried she might begin to hyperventilate and pass out. She lunged for the flap again, but I held her back. “Let me go. You don’t understand—let me go!” she begged.
I held her by the wrists, wrapping my fingers around the same patches of skin where the ropes had dug in. Her bones felt so delicate I was worried I might break them. She winced, and the most sickening feeling came over me; I couldn’t cause her more pain. I had to let her go.
Her eyes were wild as she threw weak punches at my chest. I stayed put, allowing her small fists to do as much damage as they could before she scurried backward. She was terrified. Had someone hurt her before? Was she that scared of me?
The howling wind answered my question when it brought a gasp from her lips.
“Kaya, this tent is strong. You don’t have to worry, okay? Look at me.”
She tried to meet my eyes. “I am… having a bit… terrified sort of anxiety… scared of storms sometimes,” she stammered. “And, I’m—sorry… about your mother. I am so very, very, sorry…”
Each tear that rolled down her cheek felt like a stab in the gut. “Hey, shhh, it’s okay. It’s not your fault,” I said as the snap of a breaking branch made us both jump. “Listen, if you want to go out there you can, but it will be a whole lot more miserable than being stuck in here with me.”
“This just… isn’t right, I shouldn’t be here—I can’t do this,” she said, starting to breathe faster again.
“Kaya, let’s pretend to be friends for now. I’ll look after you, I promise. You’ll be all right.”
“I am trying so hard to hate you right now,” she said, “just trying so… damn… hard…”
Trying to hate me. So, she didn’t yet. Thank you, Lord.
The storm howled and grew louder. “Oh my God,” she muttered.
“Kaya, keep looking at me, okay? Take in deep breaths. In, and then out, slowly—c’mon, focus on my eyes—in, now out… you and me, we’re friends. Trust me, okay? Breathe in. Now breathe out.” I repeated this. I locked eyes with her, and she did exactly as I said. Her breathing started to slow, but her lips had turned blue. “You’re cold. I have to get you warm. Come here,” I said and held out my arms.
Her mouth parted slightly in confusion. It was pure torture to see her like this and not grab her. I could have pulled her to me and forced my warmth upon her, but she had to come to me on her own. “I won’t hold you against your will ever again; every choice you make from here on in will be your own, and I’ll fully respect it,” I said honestly.
Something on her face changed. She looked at me curiously, and then she slowly crept forward. I felt like my heart was going to explode as I draped my arms around her. “Everything is good. We are warm and safe. Deep breaths still, okay?” I
instructed.
At first, I didn’t move a muscle, allowing only my voice to comfort her, but soon I couldn’t stop my hand from stroking the back of her head. The waves of her hair felt like silk. We stayed like that, kneeling toward each other, until her shivering stopped. Then I pushed my luck.
“We need to sleep now,” I said.
I leaned back, holding her close, and lay down on my side while keeping her body tight against mine. She tensed for a brief moment and then seemed to relax. I was vividly aware of every inch of her body and carefully adjusted the blanket around us.
“I’m still angry with you,” she said quietly.
“And you have every right to be.”
“It’s not right to kidnap people.”
“I know. I really do. And I’m so sorry. I hope one day you will forgive me,” I said.
Her forgiveness was something I would work hard to earn, even if it took forever.
I woke up clinging to him, shocked that I’d even fallen asleep in the first place. He’d talked me out of an anxiety attack under prime Kaya’s gone nuts conditions. Not even the most high-paid psychologist had been able to pull that off. His voice had cut through what felt like a million cotton balls crammed into my head. When he told me to breathe, my lungs opened up. When he told me I was safe, his arms felt like a fortress. When he said we were friends, the cotton balls turned to dust.
The wind had died, and by the faint morning light, I could see the little clouds my breath made in the freezing-cold air. I pulled my head back and looked up at him, still in awe of how impossibly beautiful and exactly perfect he was. I moved my fingers ever so gently over his Adam’s apple, marveling at how the texture of his stubble varied depending on which direction I slid my fingers. I traced his chin, and then my fingers continued to wander up to touch the scar adorning his cheek. The sun had tanned him a light, golden color, but the scar remained a pale white. I wanted to know how he got it. I wanted to wake him, look into his eyes, and ask him that question along with a thousand others, like—where did he live? What was his last name? Favorite color? I wanted to know about Louisa, too. What kind of woman was she to have captured his heart so strongly that he would go to such great lengths to get her back?
[Nightmusic 01.0] Serenade Page 17
