“Paris was your one wild trip,” Mom says with finality. “So you definitely don’t need to take the road trip you wanted. You will behave as I expect you to while you live under our roof. If you don’t agree, you will be escorted by a bodyguard to and from the house, and all the security codes will be changed so you can’t sneak out.”
Holden’s brows shoot up as air wheezes from my lungs. A bodyguard? That’s crazy. This is the most excessive, overprotective, controlling decree my parents have ever set.
Pissed off beyond belief and at my limit, I spit out an agreement and push past them, running upstairs to my room. If they’re so eager to treat me like I’m their prisoner, that’s what I’ll be. For now, while I make a plan for getting exactly what I want—my freedom from their insane expectations.
In the last week before graduation, Colorado is blooming with life. Bees and butterflies float on the fresh mountain air, kissing the wildflowers in the field around me. I stretch out on the blanket and turn a smile to the sun.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve been a good little prisoner. I stick to my schedule, not a toe out of line. I wear the good girl shell that appeases my parents, acing my final exams and filling my time with studying, feeling like I’ve given myself a lobotomy to shut off the adventurous side of me longing to go, go, go. It’s boring as hell, sucking my soul out to smother everything that makes me who I really am. The time I spend at the yoga studio is my only outlet for all the frustration building up.
I don’t look for Fox, even though every part of me is dying to get to him before he can shut me out again. It’s been too long. I’m worried I’m losing my chance with him all over again and it pricks at my emotions. I won’t lose him again, not when I’m so close to getting him back. He belongs in my life, and I belong in his.
Today is usually my volunteer shift at the library, but I got someone to cover for me. Once Dad dropped me off in front of the building, I hugged and kissed him goodbye, then ducked out the back doors where my friends were waiting in an SUV to pick me up. When I confided in Thea about what happened after I got home from Paris, she made it her mission to jailbreak me, offering to let me couch surf at her apartment with Connor. I’m not about to be a third wheel to the newlyweds, though. As much as I love and appreciate her support, I want to win this battle on my own.
My parents would be livid if they found out we’re having a picnic near Peak Point in the mountains in a field that overlooks town. I’m probably chancing that permanent babysitter they threatened me with, but I needed to get out in nature to recharge myself.
Thea and Blair are stretched out on either side of me on the blanket, watching Connor and Devlin kick a soccer ball nearby while Gemma and Lucas share another one, snuggled together and murmuring to each other in a snarky tone. Those two love fighting each other, and I recognize it.
I think it’s how my connection to Fox has evolved. Something in my blood sings when he comes at me and I don’t shy away. Instead, I take him on and ride the thrill of surprising him.
We watch the guys pass the ball to each other. When they were at Silver Lake High, they were known as a wicked duo on and off the field, and those sharp skills are still evident as Devlin pulls a move with his foot that sweeps the ball from the ground to bounce on his knee while he smirks at Connor before returning it with a midair kick.
“You showy asshole,” Connor taunts with a wide grin as he goes for the ball.
“Losing your touch? That one was easy to get,” Devlin snipes back with a deep laugh.
“Never.”
Blair shifts around and I laugh under my breath at the look on her face. It’s one that matches Thea’s as Connor dribbles the ball with some fancy footwork. These two are totally into their soccer player partners while I’m just admiring the athleticism and fluidity in their movements.
My blood only races when I think about calloused hands, scarred knuckles, and the faint scent of motor oil mixed with leather.
Tracing my lip with my tongue while my cheeks heat, I roll over onto my back and flip my crop top higher to feel the warmth of the sun on my stomach, careful not to let the bottom of my tits out. If I was alone, hell yeah I’d take advantage and go for full nip freedom, but for now I’m content like this.
A playful growl sounds to my left and when I peek from the corner of my eye, Gemma is straddling Lucas, wrestling with him. The corners of his mouth kick up before he switches their position and pins her arms overhead.
“Caught you, sweetheart,” he croons, kissing a path up her neck. He nips her skin. “I’ll always catch you.”
“Love you, caveman.” She laughs, bright and happy. It’s easy to see how much they love each other.
The guys come over to the blanket. Devlin reaches us first, tucking Blair’s hair back before he kisses her. Connor flops next to Thea and tugs her half on top of him, cupping her face and drawing her down to press their lips together. Watching both couples, longing hits me and I pluck at the leather bracelet I always wear. I wish I could have what they’ve all found, but my heart is destined to weather the storm that is Fox Wilder.
I don’t care what’s happened between us in the last year. We can move past it all after I fight for him.
Maybe if I can find out who would follow him and nearly run an orphaned nineteen year old off the road, I’ll be able to help him. I purse my lips to the side in consideration, glancing at Connor and Thea. There used to be a rumor about his reputation as a king of blackmail around school. It’s how he got Thea involved with him in the first place, because he was blackmailing her when she accidentally sent nude photos to him thinking he was a lifeguard she flirted with at the summer wellness retreat we went to.
“Hey.” I sit up. “Can I ask you something?”
Connor leans up on his elbows, relaxed in his sprawl beside Thea. “‘Sup?”
“Do you know anything about Fox?”
His brow lifts and he ruffles his floppy hair. “Maybe.” His gaze slides to Thea, and whatever silent thing she tells him, he nods, scratching at his nose with his thumbnail. “I’ve got a file on him. I keep tabs on everyone in town. If they’ve got skeletons, I find them.”
“Cool. Well, can I, like…have it?” My friends all stare at me. They’ve seen how he used to glare at me while they were in school with me, but I haven’t told them much about what’s been going on since then. “You know we used to be friends, when he lived here as a kid. The Wilders were our neighbors and close friends. I’ve been trying to find out what happened to him after he left Ridgeview.” I swallow. “After his parents died in an accident.”
“That’s so sad,” Gemma murmurs.
Lucas gathers her close, rubbing her arms comfortingly.
“I know,” I agree.
“I’m sorry,” Gemma says.
I offer her a lopsided smile, appreciative of the sympathy for the hell Fox has been through.
“Yeah.” Connor hitches his shoulder. He pulls his phone from his pocket and starts typing. “I’ll get it for you. What I have is thin. I was never able to dig up too much on him, and since I was—” His gaze zeroes in on Thea again, burning in its intensity “—occupied last year, it was enough for me. It’s mostly old stuff from an incident report, and half of it was redacted by your dad and his work buddies when I got it from him.”
My brow furrows. “What do you mean? Why would my dad give you a police report?”
“Well,” he hedges. “I mean, I’m no saint, you know?”
“Connor Bishop,” Thea says with a chastising bite, elbowing him.
He coughs, murmuring to her under his breath, “All right, jesus, baby. You don’t have to break out the elbows. I’ll tell her.” Turning back to me, he presses his tongue into his cheek. “So, it’s not a very well kept secret. I’m surprised you haven’t heard anything.”
“About what?” I push.
“The chief is known for taking bribes and looking the other way. I held that knowledge over his head to get what I needed on y
our punk ass biker to make sure I could keep him in line if I needed to.”
My brows fly up in shock. “Um, what?”
“It’s true.” Devlin shrugs and turns his attention to Blair and runs the back of his knuckles over her cheek in a loving gesture. She blushes, nuzzling into his touch. “I’ve had to utilize it before. It’s probably one of the worst kept secrets in town.”
“Yeah, even my dad tells me about it,” Lucas says. His father is a lawyer. “He jokes with him about it when they get together for poker nights at my parents’ place on the lake.”
Dad has always been a good guy to me. He’s protective, but deep down he’s the man who used to smile and laugh with me. How could he take bribes? My world wobbles and I twist my fingers in the blanket. I gulp as I remember once again what Fox said to Lana—that he knows what my parents are capable of.
They’re definitely hiding things from me. Now I’m sure of it. That’s the only thing that makes sense to explain why they’ve always been so strict.
“You said his name is Wilder?” Devlin asks.
“Yeah.”
“I recognize it. Is he related to anyone that worked for Nexus Lab?”
“Yes. His parents and my mom worked in the same research department.”
“They used to be mentioned a lot in the science journals at my parents’ house. I remember reading about the articles on their drug research,” he says, somberness creeping into his voice.
For the most part, Devlin is relaxed and happy, but I remember before he and Blair were together. When I’d see him in the halls at school, he seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. His name is well known in this town for his parents’ famous medical clinic. I’ve met them once or twice when Mom has corralled Holden and I to attend events for her company. They’re a cold and unfeeling couple who barely seem like they’re married, let alone parents.
Blair puts a hand on his arm and whispers something to him that clears the shadows from his expression. He leans into her for support, closing his eyes.
“Can I borrow the journals?”
Devlin snorts. “Sure. They’re barely ever there, so I can get them for you if you want. I doubt they’d miss them.”
“Thank you.”
I’ll take anything I can get to find out who Fox has become and discover what he’s involved in.
Sixteen
Maisy
By the time I’m home, the file Connor sent is waiting in my inbox. I download it from the link he sent with the password he provided and settle in to learn everything I can about Fox.
He wasn’t kidding, there really isn’t much to go through. But what is there makes my breath catch. I rub the stones in my bracelet.
The first thing I read is the incident report from the accident, which is littered with bold black lines hiding vital information. It’s hard to believe that mere days before this horrible thing happened Fox and I were playing with Holden and making one of my happiest memories in the field by our tree.
My brow furrows. Dad’s signature is on the report, but I don’t remember him being on duty that night. The harder I rack my brain, the clearer it becomes. We were out for dinner, which wasn’t out of the ordinary for us. It was at the hibachi restaurant Holden and I loved so much. I think…we were celebrating Mom’s promotion, but it wasn’t officially announced until a couple of weeks after everything happened. How could Dad be at dinner with us, but sign off as the officer in charge of the case?
“Why don’t the page numbers line up?” I murmur to myself in confusion as I realize I’m reading page 8 after page 3. “Where’s the rest of it?”
It doesn’t seem right for pages to be missing. For a fatal car accident, there should be a coroner report and an analysis of what remained of the car after the fire was put out. A scanned handwritten note attached to the last page declaring the crash an accident states the rest of the file is sealed and the case is closed—signed Chief Richard Landry. I press my lips together.
I wonder if half of what’s in the report are lies given what Fox said to Lana and what my friends told me about Dad taking bribes. I want to know why most of the report is missing, some parts redacted by thick black lines. What are they hiding if it was an accident?
There’s another related document from the Ridgeview Police Department in the same file releasing Fox into the state’s foster care system. This is signed by Dad, too. My stomach flips unpleasantly. Dad is the one who sent him away. How could he do that to his friends’ son? We could’ve taken him in if he didn’t have any other local family.
After the first placement, it looks like there was a trail of foster homes. The dates hurt my heart. Six months. A month and a half. Three weeks. Two days. One after the other, an endless revolving door kicked him out, mixed with two short stints in a detention center, painting a bleak picture of what an unstable upbringing he experienced after he lost his parents.
A letter catches my eye from one of the shortest times spent in a home. As I read, everything blurs from the tears filling my eyes. A few lines stand out.
Fox is a danger to himself and others…can’t get along with the other children…extreme grief and anger. He is a troubled child beyond help…getting into fights…the violence is too much to have in my home, so I unfortunately can no longer act as his state-appointed guardian.
After that it cuts off, leaving a weird gap between when he was fifteen and now. It’s like someone wiped him clean out of the system.
This wasn’t the life Fox was supposed to have.
All of this is heartbreaking to look at. I rub my forehead as I click through, wishing there was more and glad that there isn’t because this is already a lot to handle. My heart sits in my throat, aching as I think of what he went through.
He was all alone. He had no siblings or other family to take him in.
A tear streaks down my cheek. It always used to be me, him, and Holden against the world. Holden was the brother he never had. I was…
You’re my daisy.
My chest constricts at his voice in my head, but instead of the way it sounded when we were younger, his deep, raspy voice whispers to me.
That was torn away when he lost his parents. Everything he had was taken from him.
Guilt twinges in my stomach for reading this about him without him telling me directly, but I know from where we stand right now he’d never let me in to tell me this on his own. He’s guarded now in a way he never was before tragedy tore through his world. I had to know this. It’s one more thing I can add to my list of apologies he’s holding over my head.
With some of the answers in front of me, I finally understand enough to fit the jagged pieces of the new Fox into the shape of the one I used to know so well. Of course he’s angry. I get it now. Who wouldn’t be when faced with so much grief and countless people who are meant to protect him gave up on him, labeling him troubled and dangerous?
What he told me about calling a boy a monster enough times making it stick carries a heavier, depressing weight to it now that I know.
Taking a shuddering breath, I scrub my hands over my puffy cheeks. I wish he would’ve opened up to me instead of shutting me out when he came back. He didn’t have to be alone anymore, but I understand. He’s been alone for so long that he’s learned to only rely on himself. What’s the point in trusting the world around you when he has so much experience of it shitting on him to prove he’s the only one who can look out for himself.
I jump when my door flies open, scrambling to open the window with a yoga YouTube video I had waiting to hide what I was looking at. Mom barges in without asking and I ignore her, throwing all my focus into the instructor stretching her body at sunrise on a beach in California.
“Deep breath in, feel that energy filling your heart chakra, and let it out,” the instructor narrates while she moves to the next pose in the flow.
“Maisy.”
Releasing a small aggravated breath at the interruption, I flick my gaze to her.
“Mom.”
Jailer. I keep that to myself, not wanting to give her incentive to slap me with a freaking bodyguard to babysit me.
She narrows her eyes. “Why do you look like you were crying?”
“It’s nothing,” I lie, reaching for another to get her off my back. “I’m on my period.”
Her nostrils flare, but she accepts the cover story. I pull my hair into a ponytail, but the next words out of her mouth have me freezing partway through.
“Get ready.”
“For what?”
“We’re going out to dinner.”
“I’m not really hungry.” I don’t say it’s because Thea made an entire feast for the picnic earlier since I snuck out to be there.
Mom gives me a triumphant look that makes me tense. “If you cooperate, I’ll reconsider the road trip.”
I wait for her to elaborate more, but she turns on her heel and leaves without closing my door. A bout of irritation skitters across my patience. Nothing agitates me more than her opening my door to bug me with her commands, then leaving it open on her way out. How hard is it to just close the door like when she found it?
Whatever, more importantly I’m going to do as she says because I want to go on my road trip. I’ve been making plans, but everything will be so much easier if I don’t have to do it behind her back.
Understanding hits me as soon as we arrive at the ritzy steak house downtown. Tonight is all about image and reputation. Probably another lesson so I don’t “run away” again. This is the worst way to teach me, stirring my resentment of my parents.
Because Sam Blake is here, waiting for us in front of the restaurant in slacks and a dress shirt.
“Samuel,” Dad says warmly. “Good to see you, son. We’ve missed you.”
Savage Wilder: Dark New Adult High School Bully Romance (Sinners and Saints Book 4) Page 14
