by Quinn Loftis
Shelly read it out loud.
Curiosity: One that arouses interest especially for uncommon or exotic characteristics. There is nothing that is common about you, and my interest is more than aroused. I am truly sorry that my thoughtless words hurt you.
“Oh, wow, he’s good,” Shelly said, dropping her voice deeper and drawing out the last word. She read the next text.
Have fun on your date, luv. But not too much fun.
“And he’s funny.”
Would I be an arse if I said I’d like for you not to have any fun at all?
After reading the last text, Shelly sighed like a lovesick fool.
“What are you going to do?”
Tara shrugged. “What is there to do? It’s not like we’re in a relationship. We met a week ago, for crap’s sake.”
“And yet you have very strong emotions toward this magnificent male specimen who has been deemed Ass Cat until he redeems himself,” Shelly said.
“You can’t just say ‘guy’ can you? Would it, like, blow your mind or mess up some tick in your brain?”
“Deflecting your frustration over your unwillingness to cope with your feelings is only hurting yourself. And annoying the yellow bladder fluid out of me.”
“PISS,” Tara suddenly yelled. “The word is PISS! It’s annoying the PISS out of you! Talk like a normal human.”
“All right then.” Shelly sighed, sounding disappointed. “No need to yell.”
Tara hated it when she disappointed her friend. It was like kicking a puppy, and it made Tara feel ill. She had to take several deep breaths to get herself to chill out. It wasn’t Shelly she was really irritated with. Her friend was just the closest target, so she took the brunt of the venting frustrations.
When Tara glanced over at her friend, Shelly was still staring down at her phone. Tara figured she was going back through all of the texts Elias had sent her. She’d give her a minute to enjoy being nosy because Tara knew Shelly got great pleasure out of it. Yes, her friend was disturbed. It’s already been established.
Deciding Shelly had had enough time to drool over Elias’s comments, Tara sighed. “I’m sorry, Shell. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
Shelly’s head rose from the phone screen and turned to look at Tara. Her smile was beaming. “You gave me a nickname!” She squealed.
Tara frowned. Hadn’t she called her Shell before? Or was that only in her head? Mother of pearl, she really was a crap friend. “Sorry it took me so long.”
“It’s okay. You can’t help that you’re emotionally stunted because you won’t deal with any of the deep-seated issues that have turned you into something akin to an angry old man screaming at kids to get off his lawn.”
Tara’s head tilted to the side as she looked at her best friend. “And, thank you for that.”
“Oh and you don’t have to apologize for yelling. It’s definitely deserved now.” Shelly started pushing her and telling her to scoot along. Tara was still trying to figure out what she’d meant about deserving to be yelled at now. “Here,” Shelly said, reaching out of the lowered window to hand Tara her phone.
“What did you mean you deserve it now?” she asked.
Shelly put the car in reverse and started backing up, but stuck her head out of the window and yelled, “I just texted Elias back for you. Send me pics of your outfit for tonight and have fun!”
Shelly hadn’t been going through the texts. The Jezebel had been sending one of her own. Great, now she was using Shelly’s stupid cursing method. Tara pulled up her messages and read what Shelly had sent Elias.
Thank you for your apology. And if you have any curiosity about my fun tonight, I’ll at least tell you that when I’m kissing Tucker, I will be thinking of you. -T
Shelly was right. She’d deserved to be yelled at. No, she deserved to be full-blown screamed at. Tara walked to the front door, talking out loud the entire way. Because that was sane. “That meddling, mouthy, butt—” Her insults were interrupted with an alert from her phone. Once inside, she shut the door behind her, set her school bag down, and then gave the device her attention.
Lips like yours should not be wasted on that sod.
The lips in question were turning up into a small smile. He liked her lips? Was he jealous? She shrugged and decided to ask.
Jealous?
Yes.
Her eyes widened. “Okay. I hadn’t been expecting that.” As she walked down the hall to her room, she tried to think of a way to ask him what his intentions were without sounding like an obsessed, infatuated, whiny girl.
This feels like the dumbest question in the history of ever. But it’s also to the point. Do you like me?
She felt so stupid sending the text. What was it about Elias that made her so eager, so desperate to know him, to want him to want to know her? She was cringing at herself as she laid down on her bed and held her phone above her, watching the little dot bubble that indicated he was texting back.
Yes.
Short and to the point. She liked that. And she also hated it because what the hell did “like” entail anyway? I should have been more specific.
How, exactly, do you like me?
Text bubbles and waiting. Good times.
I like you exactly as you are. Bold, angry, secretly kind-hearted, quick-witted, lovely in the most unexpected way.
If there was a mic in his hand, he totally could have dropped it. She wasn’t going to squeal like a girl. She wasn’t. “This is me not squealing,” she sort of sang and sort of … squealed. Dammit. What was she supposed to do now? She already had a date with a guy who’d made it abundantly clear he was interested in her romantically, and he had had the balls to ask her out. Elias wasn’t asking her out. He wasn’t really doing anything except stalking her and filling her heart with warm gooiness. What could she do with warm gooiness? Not a dang thing.
Give me a reason to cancel this date.
There. The ball was in his court. Whatever happened next was on him.
He’s not for you.
Back to that. It had been one of the things he’d said to her on the day he met her at the job fair. “He’s not for you.” It sounded so formal and specific. Like there was someone else for her.
But maybe I’m for him.
Her phone rang and “Ass Cat” came up on the screen. Tara couldn’t help but laugh. Shelly had so thoughtfully programmed his number in for her. Tara slid her finger across the screen and pressed the phone to her ear.
“Hello,” she answered.
“I have to most ardently disagree with that last text, luv. You are definitely not for him.”
“Hello to you, too, Elias. Yes, I’m doing fine. Thank you for asking.” Tara put as much cheerfulness into her voice as possible. Anyone who knew her knew she’d never naturally sound that perky, ever, for any reason.
“How are you doing?” he asked, his voice softer, gentler.
“I’m not sure how to answer that,” she admitted.
“I’d prefer the truth.”
“The truth is bizarre and probably not healthy.” So, so unhealthy.
He chuckled. “I’m well acquainted with bizarre. I’ll let you know if I think it’s unhealthy.”
“Are you a doctor?” Tara asked
“No.”
“Then how could you possibly make a decision on whether it’s unhealthy?”
“You’re stalling, little bear.” He sounded amused. She liked that she amused him. Yep, she was disturbed.
“Little bear?”
“I find that I rather like poking you to get a reaction. My grandmother used to tell me that I’d better stop poking bears lest I get bit. I apparently have not learned my lesson,” he said with a grin in his voice.
“Ever been bitten?” Tara asked, her head now full of images of Elias with a long stick and a sleeping bear about to get poked.
“Not yet. But I have a feeling I wouldn’t mind being bitten by you. Now, back to my original question before you took us off o
n a tangent. How are you doing?”
She had no idea how to answer his question. She didn’t understand all of the emotions swirling inside of her. She couldn’t grasp how her heart, mind, and soul yearned for Elias’s company. It. Wasn’t. Normal. It had been torture ignoring him for the past two days, hearing him pound on the door and wanting to open it just so she could see him.
“Tara, you’re breathing sounds a little fast. Are you okay?”
She didn’t answer. She couldn’t answer because suddenly she couldn’t breathe. When she mentally laid it all out there like that—when she really allowed herself to consider just how strongly she felt about this man she barely knew—it made her panic.
“Tara? Please say something, or bang the phone on something if you can’t breathe so I know if I should call 911.”
His words were filled with a command, as if he could force her compliance by being stern. She thought if she didn’t say something quickly, then she was going to have an ambulance outside of her house … all because she couldn’t verbalize her feelings.
Closing her eyes, she forced herself to think about something else—something that had nothing to do with Elias—like the wind and the smell of the forest and the sound of animals rustling in the woods. Finally, she took a deep breath. “I’m fine. “I’m just a li—” Just then, the doorbell rang, followed by a series of knocks.
She looked at her clock. It was not time for her date, and Shelly wouldn’t knock. She’d use the key she’d made herself. Tara hurried down the hall to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Tucker.
Tara closed her eyes and calmed her breathing. “Give me a reason not to go on this date,” she said into the phone, repeating the question she’d texted him. He’s not for you wasn’t a reason.
“Because I don’t want you to,” Elias said. His voice was still commanding, but it was also thick with frustration and maybe a little anger, too.
“Why?” In her head, Tara was screaming for Elias to tell her “because she was actually for him.”
“It’s not a simple answer, luv. Not for why you shouldn’t be with Tucker or why you can’t be with me.”
She thought she heard a muttered “yet,” but that was probably just her stupid heart causing her to have auditory hallucinations.
But, there it was. She couldn’t be with him, and maybe he had the right to say that because it was his choice. But it wasn’t his choice if she was with Tucker. That was her decision and no one else's. “I have to go,” she said, trying very hard not to sound like she was terribly upset. “My date is here.”
“Shite,” he hissed. “Tara, please talk to m—” She ended the call before he could finish the sentence.
Chapter 14
Tara took a deep breath and then pulled the front door open. Tucker stood there with his hands in his front pockets, grinning. He really was handsome, and his smile was contagious.
“I know I’m early, but I changed my mind on what I wanted to take you out to do. It would be better to do this in the daylight.”
“Do what?” she asked as she sent a quick text to Carol letting her foster mother know her plans for the evening.
“Have you ever thrown an axe?”
If it were possible, his grin got bigger. Probably because Tara’s mouth dropped open. That wasn’t a question a person got asked every day. Or ever.
“Can’t say that I have.”
“Excellent.” He rubbed his hands together. “My friends and I have set up a range that’s sort of like a shooting range, only for axes.”
“Um, am I dressed okay for axe throwing? Shouldn’t I be wearing flannel or overalls or something like that?” Her jeans and T-shirt were super exciting.
“You look perfect,” he said. The smile had vanished, and his face was serious. “You always look perfect.”
Wow, talk about intense. It was too early in their not-dating-relationship for intense. Tara ducked her head. “Thank you,” she mumbled as she grabbed her purse from the hook next to the door and her keys out of her backpack. “I’m ready to go.”
She stepped outside and immediately felt like she was being watched. She looked around as they walked out to Tucker’s truck, but she didn’t see anything out of place or any strange vehicle that stood out. She tried to shake off the feeling, but even after Tucker had helped her into the truck and they were on the road driving, Tara still felt as though someone was watching her, following her.
Twenty minutes later, Tucker turned off the service road onto a long dirt road. He’d only told her a few axe throwing horror stories during the drive, so now Tara was only slightly nervous about the excursion instead of deeply terrified. There were deep grooves in the dirt road from where vehicles had driven on it when the ground was wet and the dirt had been washed out. She bounced around, even though she was wearing her seat belt and Tucker was driving slowly. Tara imagined she probably looked like a bobblehead and then nearly laughed because Shelly would have definitely said something along those lines. Or something dirty. Okay, definitely something dirty.
“Here we are,” Tucker said as he pulled into a makeshift parking spot in between two other large trucks. “A few guys from the team are here and their girls. I hope that’s okay.”
Tara nearly sighed in relief. They weren’t going to be alone and have awkward moments of silence. They also wouldn’t have any privacy that would allow Tucker to try and kiss her. Not that she thought he would kiss her. But ever since Shelly had sent that text to Elias, Tara hadn’t been able to stop thinking about kissing Tucker while imagining it was Elias. Make like some Frozen characters and let it go, Tara.
Tucker helped her out of the truck and then wrapped a couple of his fingers around hers, pulling her along beside him. “I will warn you that unless you work your arms out on a regular basis, this will leave you sore tomorrow.”
“Soreness,” Tara said, nodding her head. “It’s totally my jam.”
Tucker laughed. “That’s why I like you, T. You’re funny as hell, but nobody knows about it because you never talk to anyone.”
“Thanks … I think.”
“Com’n.” He nodded with his chin. “Let me introduce you to the tribe, although you might know some of them. That’s Jason Brockman,” he pointed to a guy who wasn’t much taller than Shelly, with muscles that made him look like a box. He had his arm around Desiree. Fantastic. She forced herself to smile. “And you know his girl, Des.”
“Yep,” Tara said an gave Desiree a head nod. That was cordial, right?
“That’s Jasper Cotton and his girl, Harper. You won’t know her because she’s actually a freshman over at the community college in Riverbend.”
“Nice to meet you, Harper,” she said.
“And last and probably least”—Tucker chuckled, as did the rest of them—“this is Eric Wilmore and his girl, Beth.”
Tara knew Beth from school, but they’d never talked. Tara didn’t have anything against the girl … that she never knew of.
“You ever thrown an axe before?” Jasper asked her.
“Only every Saturday of my life since I could lift one,” Tara said with a completely straight face.
Tucker chuckled while the other three guys looked a little awestruck. She almost hated to burst their bubble.
“That’s badass,” Eric said.
“It’s also a lie,” Tara said, drawing out the first word and then winking at him, hoping that would take the sharp edge off of her sarcasm.
“Tara’s a real funny girl,” Desiree said, her lip turning up in what she must’ve thought would be half a smile but looked more like a snarl.
“Put the claws away, Des,” Jason chided.
“We’re wasting daylight, people,” Tucker said and tugged Tara along past a grove of trees. Beyond the grove was a sizeable tin barn, long past its working days. Tara could see that large square pieces of wood bearing painted targets had been screwed to the side of the building. Three targets lined almost the entire length of the struc
ture. A giant tree stump, grey and weathered with age but not yet rotting, sat several paces away from the barn. Several short-handled axes poked out of it, their heads buried into the stump… Which henceforth will be called the stump of death.
They meandered over to the stump of death. Tara saw there weren’t enough axes for everyone. Jasper grabbed one and handed it to Harper, and they moved to one of the targets. Tucker led Tara after them. “We’re going to share with Harper and Jasper.”
She nodded and gave a thumbs up. Tara was actually excited to throw an axe. As long as she didn’t kill anyone or chop off her own toe, it should be fun. Fun because she planned on imagining Elias’s face plastered to the wooden target she would be throwing at.
“Let’s let Jasper and Harper go first so you can watch them, and then I’ll help you when it’s your turn.”
“Sounds good,” she replied. Tara noticed, as Harper took her place across from the target and readied herself to throw, that the handle on the axe was much shorter than the one Tara’s father had used to cut firewood. Tara didn’t allow herself to dwell on that memory and made herself stay in the present. She paid close attention to Harper’s form. The girl held the handle much like a baseball bat, but instead of bringing it over her shoulder, she brought it straight up and over her head. To Tara, it looked just like how a soccer ball would be thrown back into play.
Jasper and Harper completed their throws, of which Jasper stuck two out of three and Harper stuck all three, gaining Jasper many catcalls from the other boys. Then, Tucker motioned for Tara to step up. He handed her an axe and showed her how to place her hands. Then, he walked her through the same motions she’d just watched Harper and Jasper perform. To Tucker’s credit, he didn’t take the opportunity to get too close to her or do anything that made Tara feel uncomfortable. He gave her a crooked grin and winked as he stepped back and said, “Let’s see what you got, Thompson.”
