I needed to clean out my brain too. Because I was starting to think of lying to Luca Barelli as seriously as I’d thought of sleeping with Blake.
“What’s wrong with you?” Gabe said. He was on his way to practice. He already looked healthier than he had before. He had more color in his face and he didn’t look so gaunt and tired. It made sense. Hockey was life to Gabe.
I didn’t want to tell Gabe what was going on yet and I only smiled softly. “Nothing, bro. Just a little under the weather. Go get em’ at practice!”
“Will do!”
Gabe went off, happy as a clam. It made me realize that soon enough our positions would be flipped. Gabe would be the one pulling in the money and taking care of the rest of us. But he didn’t know that there would be a baby soon. That would change everything. And once Blake found out…
I found the book of lore in my dad’s old boxes of alpha related stuff. It took me a while but I found the old traditional laws written down. They were the kind of nitty gritty rules that were still in force but seldom came up. There it was in print just like I’d thought. If a lioness became pregnant with a lion of a different pride, she must be allowed to join them without question. If the pride is a rival or enemy, a truce must be established. Even better, if Luca refused to take me in, the pride still had to accept me.
This was the answer to everything.
All it would take was one tiny lie.
Chapter Four: Luca
“Alright, boys!” Luca’s shout echoed in the rink and he rapped his stick on the ice. “I want tight pivots! We’ve been weak as hell on agility! Tight goddamn circles! I want those smooth back turns! Let’s go!”
Our blades scraped the ice as we sped into action, turning circles around cones on the ice while passing the puck from one man to the next. There were twenty men on the team, all of us lion shifters of St. Dominic. Most of the guys I’d known since childhood and of course, my three best friends.
I breathed around the whistle tight between my teeth. Every few seconds I glanced over at our coach, Neil, standing behind the partition on the side, chewing gum and watching us while nodding in approval every once in a while.
The practice passed smoothly, but Neil and I drove the guys harder than usual. We had games with The Fangs coming up. That was going to get the team good and riled up and that meant fights. It was just inevitable. But that rivalry meant nothing if we weren’t in our best shape. I wanted us to be not a good team, but the best team. We were minor league but that was still a big deal around here. There was no reason not to act like pros even if none of us were Gretsky.
I knew it was a good practice because by the end of it, I was both energized and kind of wanted to die. We all sat around the locker room, catching our breath and guzzling water. Like every time in the last few weeks when I was dazed or tired enough to let my mind wander, my thoughts turned to Chloe.
Honestly, it was pretty annoying. I’d never been this hung up over some hook-up before. I guess I wasn’t good at hiding it because Charlie was already laughing next to me as the two of us sat on the floor, up against the wall, still in our pads and skates.
“You thinking about that girl again?” Charlie said, nodding at me.
“No,” I muttered, taking a long drink of water from my bottle.
“You’re a liar.”
“Still?” Dylan said. He always recovered first. He was up on his feet, neatly changing out of his uniform into jeans and a sweatshirt. “Goddamn. Just a girl.”
“You guys believe in fated mates?” I said, trying to keep my voice a little low. It was sort of a cheesy thing to bring up around a bunch of guys. It was like talking about fairy tales or even spouting some pop psych stuff. It was just...a little more girly than a locker room full of hockey playing cougars could take. But I was hoping my best friends wouldn’t give me too much shit.
I already knew the answer anyway. Or I thought I did. Fated mates were definitely real. It was just that nobody talked about that stuff anymore. Everyone was so cynical and hardened these days. But that feeling I had around Chloe… I had just known. It was enough to make me sure I’d see her again. She was only one town over after all. There was a much higher degree of difficulty since she was from a rival pride. But I wouldn’t let that stand in my way if I thought we were meant to be together.
“Sure,” Charlie said, shrugging. “I mean it can happen. Probably not for me. But...you think this girl is your fated mate?”
“Maybe,” I said quietly. “I’ve never felt like that around a girl before. It was like I was a teenager again but more...grounded.”
The other guys had heard me and they were starting to snicker. I flipped them off before getting to my feet to go shower. “Yeah yeah. Shut your pie-holes, dickheads. Least I’m gettin’ some. Not like you greasy motherfuckers.”
It was all trash talk, of course. The team knew I cared for them and that I’d defend each and every one of them to the death. That was being an alpha, in my book.
“This girl isn’t your fated mate,” Miguel said grimly. He had showered and he was already dressed to go. Now he leaned on the lockers, his frown half hidden by a curtain of dark curls. “She’s Stone River. It would never work. You want to start a war?”
“I’d start a war for love if I had to,” I said, shrugging.
Miguel snickered at that and shook his head.
Speaking of cynical, I thought to myself.
Finally, we were all dressed and on our way out, hooting and laughing at whatever bullshit we were talking in the wide entry hall of the rink when I saw her.
Chloe was standing there at the end of the hall by the front door. She had her parka neatly folded over her arm and she wore a sparkly gray sweater and a pink skirt with tights and boots. She looked so cute in those skirts. Her silky hair was pulled up in a messy bun and little golden tendrils fell around her cheeks. She was adorable.
I must have had a pretty dopey look on my face because behind me Miguel said, “Oh shit. Is that her?”
“Shut up,” I said, elbowing him in the gut.
Chloe smiled meekly and made her way in, stepping out of the way of the guys as they nodded politely at her, making their way out. She hadn’t taken her eyes off me and I was having trouble taking my eyes off her as that feeling came back in full force.
I had showered, but I still felt grungy. My hair was all askew and I idly pushed it back as I went to meet Chloe by the door. I was wearing an old black sweatshirt and jeans. I wished I’d known she was showing up. I would’ve worn something better. Lions do like to impress after all.
I was pretty sure my presence was affecting Chloe too as she shifted from foot to foot and seemed to draw a little closer as if she couldn’t help herself.
“Hey, um...I need to talk to you,” she said. She was looking at me very seriously. I’d been hoping she’d shown up just because she wanted to see me even after the weeks that had gone by. But this seemed like something else entirely.
I nodded and gestured toward the concessions stand back down the hall by the ice. It was shut down but there were tables and chairs where we could sit. Chloe smiled tightly and followed me and I got us two coffees from the vending machine in the locker room if only so we’d have something to do while we talked.
The table was small and even sitting across from each other, looking out on the ice as Louis ran the Zamboni, our legs were tangled together. Not that I minded. Chloe looked grave and I wasn’t thinking clearly at all or I might have guessed exactly why she had come to see me. But I was too distracted by her scent, her pretty mouth, her legs in their shimmering white tights warm next to mine.
“What is it?” I said softly. Chloe was sipping her coffee or I would have reached over to squeeze her hand. I was aching just to touch her in some small way. “You can tell me anything. I know we just had that one night, but whatever you need, I’m happy to help you however I can…”
I meant it, though I wondered if I was coming on too strong somehow. Bu
t Chloe actually seemed to relax a little.
What she said was: “I’m pregnant.”
I felt like all the blood in my body rushed up to my head. I felt dizzy and I would never have guessed just how I’d react in this situation but suddenly I was grinning across the table at Chloe.
“Oh!” I said. “Well, that’s...“ I wanted to say it was great. Fantastic. Magical. My mind was already racing a mile a minute. Chloe was pregnant with my kid. I’d always wanted a kid. It made me think that I had been right in that initial strange feeling that Chloe and I were meant to be together. Not that I would say that. Even with the idea of fated mates being a real thing, it just sounded like you were kind of a kook to put it out there when you barely knew a person. “Wait, are you… I mean I can’t assume…”
Oof. I’d never had this conversation before.
Luckily, Chloe knew what I was getting at. “I want to keep it,” she said quickly.
“Oh, good!” I said, releasing the breath I’d been holding. “Listen, I’m here. I’ll do whatever I can. I’ll…”
Chloe was looking at me steadily and it took me a second to put the pieces together. It was easy to forget that she was from a pride that had been feuding with my pride for generations, because I didn’t care about that feud much beyond hockey. Once in a while I’d run into trouble with guys from Stone River and sometimes I was able to diffuse it. Other times I was forced to fight. It was inherent in being an alpha. My theory was, not fighting was the stronger choice. But not everyone was so evolved.
“You need protection,” I said quickly. If anyone found out that this Stone River girl was pregnant with my kid… Well, that could ugly fast. “Does anyone know yet?”
“You’re the first person I’ve told,” Chloe said. “There’s… There’s an old tradition. That if I claim asylum with you, Stone River can’t contest it. They can’t fight over it. It’s all stupid anyway. It’s not as if anyone in my pride actually cares about me. Not as a person. It would just be a turf thing.”
I felt a sense of possessiveness then. But not for Chloe as “turf.” I wanted to protect Chloe as a person. It was such an overwhelming feeling of wanting to care for her and for our kid, that it took my breath away. It wasn’t just the pregnancy either. If she’d come to me asking for help with anything, I’d have felt the same way.
But I had to lock all that stuff away. It was too much way too fast. Chloe had enough on her plate. I had to play it cool; the dutiful guy, the good alpha taking care of his responsibilities. I took a lot of pride in being that guy. It wasn’t a burden to me. It was just having integrity.
“I want you to come stay at my house,” I said firmly. “I know you haven’t told your family yet. Maybe...you should. Then it would make sense to them. I’ll take care of you as much as you let me, Chloe.” Now I did reach over and cover her hand where it rested on the table. “We’re in this together.”
Chapter Five: Chloe
I already felt horribly guilty. I could tell myself that I hadn’t actually said the words: “It’s your baby.” I’d told Luca I was pregnant, and let him fill in the rest. I could tell myself all day that it technically wasn’t a lie but I was fooling myself. The only bright side to my mind was that Luca seemed so pleased by the entire thing. Yet the part of me that was used to bad things happening said that he didn’t know me yet and I didn’t know him well yet either. Maybe he was the kind of guy who jumped into things and lost interest. He’d get bored of me, of our child. He was still young and at least locally, a shining star and an alpha in his pride. Surely, he wouldn’t want to be saddled forever with me and this kid that was eventually going to arrive.
But for now, Luca was grinning at me as he took my hand and led me to his car. I’d come to the rink on foot and he was driving me to my place to pick up some things. My plan was to tell my dad that I’d be staying at a “friend’s house” for a while and I’d explain later. He was so out of it half the time, I didn’t think he’d even ask questions. Gabe I would just text. He’d be fine with it.
An hour later, Luca was pulling into the driveway of the big house he shared with the other alphas of the pride. They were four good looking hockey stars of The Cougars and I was already self-conscious that I’d bring down the vibe of the place as Luca led me down the little cobblestone path cutting through the snowed over lawn to the front stoop. The house was old and a little shambly, but they’d clearly worked on it and had character; white shingles, and a steep roof. It was something close to Victorian. Maybe Colonial or something. I didn’t know my architecture. Luca shut the door behind us, stroking my back as if sensing my nervousness. The place was toasty warm. I was used to having to wear layers inside even with my shifter’s constitution. But this place was so cozy.
Luca’s three friends were squeezed together on the couch, scarfing down burgers, and when they saw me hanging up my parka they all widened their eyes. Charlie, Miguel, and Dylan. I’d gone to enough games to know who they were.
“Guys,” Luca declared. “This is Chloe. She’s gonna be staying with us...probably for a while? We’re not sure what the plan is yet.”
The guys all looked by turns confused, perhaps indignant, and immediately curious.
“What do you mean?” Miguel said.
“It’s fine,” Charlie said. “But what’s going on?”
Dylan didn’t say anything. He just turned back to his burger. Well, at least one of them seemed okay with it. I nudged Luca and sighed. “Maybe you should just tell them? Get it out of the way?”
“Yeah?” Luca brightened up at that. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who liked to keep things from his friends after all. “Right okay. So...Chloe is um…” He patted my still flat stomach and said, “I gotta bun in the oven, guys.”
“Holy shit!” Charlie said.
Dylan quietly said, “Whoa.”
Miguel didn’t say anything but he was giving me a look like he wasn’t very happy about this news.
Just great. All I needed was one of Luca’s blood brothers after me. I swallowed and smiled shakily, leaning into Luca a little. The thing was, if Miguel was suspicious, he was absolutely right to be.
It made me feel like dirt. But I wasn’t about to back out yet, not when Luca was beaming at me as if me having his baby was the best news he’d ever heard.
“Okay!” Luca said, clapping his hands. His thick, brown hair was flopping over his wild eyes and he pushed it back. He just looked so excited. It even made me smile. “Let’s clear out a room for Chloe. Guys, I need your help.”
“Uh, can we finish eating, dude?” Charlie held up his burger. “We got you food too.”
“Oh, good!” Luca grabbed the bag of food left for him on the coffee table and prodded me along to the kitchen. “They always get me two burgers and lots of fries so we can split. Unless you don’t like burgers. I could make you something else? Do you like burgers?”
I couldn’t help but giggle at his sweet attempts to please me and nodded as I let myself be nudged into the kitchen. “Yes, I like burgers. Sounds good.”
“We don’t always have burgers after practice,” Luca assured me as he pulled out a chair at their big kitchen table. “Only sometimes. We eat healthy most of the time! Lots of protein, lots of veggies. Hunting, of course.”
“Mmm...hunting,” I said, dazed for a second at the thought of shifting and going on a good hunt in the woods. I went on runs all the time and occasionally I took out some small game. But I hadn’t killed and eaten anything really solid and meaty and satisfying in too long. My mouth watered now at the very idea of a deer. But the burger Luca set on a plate in front of me helped.
“We’ll have to go on a hunt sometime,” Luca said. He squeezed my shoulder and just that little bit of affection was more than I’d received in so long that I actually teared up. My father had been dead to the world for so long since my mother had died and my brother was a good kid but he wasn’t sweet like that. It had been so long. Touch starved, I guess they called i
t. I cleared my throat, trying to cover my reaction and bit into my burger as Luca sat across from me.
“That would be nice,” I said, having swallowed a bite of burger. That was an understatement.
We chatted about this and that as we ate. There was a lot to discuss, I knew. But Luca seemed to be easing me into the house which was very kind of him. When we were done with our food, I wanted to help him and the guys clear out the room for me that he was talking about. But he wouldn’t let me. He said it was a guest room they’d used for young shifter guys down on their luck before (people like my brother if he didn’t have us, I thought).
The house inside made me feel cozy even if it was about what you’d expect from a place where four young athletic guys lived. There were framed hockey posters hanging on walls here and there. There was a gray cat wearing a red collar. His name was Wayne, I learned. He became my new friend immediately and he seemed to like being picked up and kissed which was a good thing because I couldn’t stop myself from carrying him around. Luca told me they’d fixed some things around the house. But they hadn’t done much in terms of decor. It made me smile actually; the green shag carpeting on the stairs, the wood paneled walls, the orange Formica counters in the kitchen. The outside of the place looked pretty 19th century, but the inside screamed 1970’s. There were framed photos on the walls, an attempt at least at being homey. I saw lion cubs and older folk. They were clearly shifter family photos of some of the guys. The pictures made my heart ache. My own family never seemed as happy as the people in the photographs.
Luca left me to wander the house, holding Wayne in my arms as I explored the place. I was softly smiling at a little ceramic lion on a nick nack shelf by the stairway when Miguel passed by. We exchanged awkward smiles and I thought he was going to go on to the living room, but I heard him sigh and stop in his tracks and he spun around and gave me a long look.
Dark and Forbidden Luca's Secret Baby Page 4
