by Robin Hobb
There were few things I wished less to do. But I would not undo what Kettricken had so laboriously wrought. I could not. So I bowed and excused myself, and forced myself to cross the rain-pelted garden, to present myself to Celerity. Faith and Shells immediately withdrew to a not-quite-discreet distance to watch us.
I bowed to her with absolute correctness. ‘Lady Celerity, I must thank you again for the scroll you sent me,’ I said awkwardly. My heart was pounding. As was hers, I am sure, for a completely different reason.
She smiled at me through the falling rain. ‘I was glad to send it, and gladder of your reply. My father explained it to me. I hope you do not take it amiss that I showed it to him. I did not understand why you would belittle yourself so. He said, “The man who must brag for himself knows that no one else will.” Then he told me there is no better way to learn the sea than at the oar of a boat. And that, in his younger years, the axe was always his weapon, too. He has promised my sisters and I a dory of our own, next summer, that we can take out on the sea on fine days …’ she faltered suddenly. ‘I chatter, do I not?’
‘Not at all, my lady,’ I assured her quietly. I much preferred that she do the talking.
‘My lady,’ she repeated softly and then blushed as furiously as if I had kissed her right there.
I looked aside from her, only to find Faith’s wide eyes on us, her mouth an O of scandalized delight. Imagining what she imagined I had said to her sister brought the colour and heat to my face as well. As I went scarlet, she and Shells burst out giggling.
It seemed an eternity before we left the storm-battered Queen’s Garden. Our guests sought their rooms, both to change from sodden clothing and to prepare for their journey. I did likewise, dressing hastily lest I miss anything of their departure. I was at the outer courtyard to see Brawndy and his guard mount. So was Queen Kettricken, in her now-familiar purple and white, and her honour-guard had been turned out as well. She stood beside Brawndy’s horse to bid him farewell, and before he mounted, he went down on one knee and kissed her hand. Some brief words were spoken, I know not what, but the Queen smiled as the winds lashed her hair about her face. Brawndy and his troops set off into the teeth of the storm. There was anger yet in the set of Brawndy’s shoulders, but his obeisance to the Queen showed me that, as of yet, not all was lost.
Celerity and Faith both looked back to me as they rode off, and Celerity dared to lift a hand in farewell. I returned the gesture. I stood watching them go, chilled by more than the rain. I had supported Verity and Kettricken this day, but at what cost to myself? What was I doing to Celerity? Was Molly, perhaps, right about all this?
Later that evening, I went to pay my respects to my king. He had not summoned me. I did not intend to discuss Celerity with him. I went, wondering if Verity willed it in me or if it was my own heart cautioning me not to abandon him. Wallace grudgingly admitted me, with a stern warning that the King was still not feeling completely himself, and I must not weary him.
King Shrewd was sitting up before his fireplace. The air of the room was cloying with Smoke. The Fool, his face still an interesting landscape of purples and blues, sat at the King’s feet. He had the good fortune to be below the most pungent level of the haze. I had no such luck as I took the low, backless stool that Wallace so thoughtfully provided for me.
A few moments after I had presented myself and sat down, the King turned to me. He regarded me blearily for a few moments as his head swayed on his neck. ‘Ah, Fitz,’ the King greeted me belatedly. ‘How have your lessons been? Is Master Fedwren pleased with your progress?’
I glanced at the Fool, who did not meet my eyes, but poked morosely at the fire.
‘Yes,’ I said quietly. ‘He has said my lettering is good.’
‘That’s fine. A clear hand is a thing any man may be proud of. And what of our bargain? Have I kept my word to you?’
It was our old litany. Once more I considered the terms he had offered me. He would feed me, clothe me and educate me, and in return he would have my complete loyalty. I smiled at the familiar words, but my throat closed at how the man who said them had wasted away, and what they had come to cost me.
‘Yes, my king. You have,’ I answered softly.
‘Good. Then see you keep your word to me as well.’ He leaned back heavily in his chair.
‘I shall, your majesty,’ I promised, and the Fool’s eyes met mine as he witnessed again that promise.
For a few moments the room was still save for the crackling of the fire. Then the King sat up as if startled by a sound. He looked about confusedly. ‘Verity? Where’s Verity?’
‘He’s gone on a quest, my king. To seek the help of the Elderlings to drive the Red Ships from our shores.’
‘Ah, yes. Of course. Of course he has. But just for a moment, I thought …’ He leaned back in his chair. Then all the hair on my skin prickled up. I could feel him vaguely Skilling, in an unfocused fumbling way. His mind tugged at mine like old hands seeking for a grip. I had believed him incapable of Skilling any more; I had thought that he had burned out his talent years ago. Verity had told me once that Shrewd used his talent but seldom. I had set those words aside as his loyalty to his father. But the ghostly Skill plucked at my thoughts like unschooled fingers at harp strings. I sensed Nighteyes hackling at this new invasion. Silence, I cautioned him.
My breath snagged suddenly on an idea. Fostered by Verity within me? I set aside all cautions, reminded myself that this was what I had promised this man so long ago. Loyalty in all things. ‘My king?’ I asked his permission as I moved my stool closer to his chair. I took his withered hand in mine.
It was like plunging myself into a rushing river. ‘Ah, Verity, my boy, there you are!’ Just for a moment, I glimpsed Verity as King Shrewd still saw him. A chubby boy of eight or nine, more friendly than smart, not so tall as his big brother Chivalry. But a sound and likeable prince, an excellent second son, not too ambitious, not too questioning. Then, just as if I had stepped off a riverbank, I tumbled into a black, rushing roar of Skill. It was disorienting to see suddenly through Shrewd’s eyes. The edges of his vision were filmy with haze. For a moment I glimpsed Verity forging wearily through snow. What’s this? Fitz? Then I was whirled away, carried into the heart of King Shrewd’s pain. Skilled deep inside him, beyond where the herbs and smoke deadened him, I was scorched with the agony. It was a slow-growing pain, along his spine and in his skull, a pushing, crowding thing that would not be ignored. But deep inside his Smoke-fogged mind, a king still lived and raged at his confinement. The spirit was still there, battling the body that no longer obeyed him and the pain that was devouring the last years of his life. I swear I saw him, a young man, perhaps a year or so older than myself. His hair had been as busy and unruly as Verity’s, his eyes were wide and lively, and once his face’s only lines had been from a wide grin. This was who he still was, in his soul, this young man, trapped and desperate. He seized on me, asking wildly, ‘Is there a way out?’ I felt myself sinking with his grip.
Then like two rivers merging, another force crashed against me, sent me spinning with its current. Boy! Contain yourself. It was as if strong hands steadied me and established me as a separate strand in the twisting rope we were forming. Father. I am here. Are you in need?
No. No. All is as it has been for some time. But Verity …
Yes, I am here.
Bearns is no longer true to us. Brawndy harbours Red Ships there, in exchange for protection for his own villages. He has turned on us. When you come home, you must …
The thought wandered, lost strength.
Father. Whence come these tidings? I sensed Verity’s sudden desperation. If what Shrewd spoke was true, there was no hope for Buckkeep to stand the winter.
Regal has spies. They bring word to him, and he comes to me. This must remain a secret, for a time, until we have the strength to strike back at Brawndy. Or until we decide to abandon him to his Red Ship friends. Yes. That is Regal’s plan. To hold the Red Ships off from Buck, and then they will turn on Brawndy and punish him for us. Brawndy even sent a false call for help, in the hopes of luring our warships to their destruction.
Can this be so?
All Regal’s spies confirm it. And I fear we can no longer trust your foreign wife. While Brawndy was here, Regal marked how she dallied with him, and made many excuses for private talk. He fears that she plots with our enemies to overthrow the throne.
THIS IS NOT SO! The force of this denial went through me like a sword’s point. For an instant I was drowning again, lost, selfless, in the flood of Skill passing through me. Verity sensed it, steadied me again. We must be careful of the boy. He has not the strength to be used like this. Father. I beg you. Trust my queen. I know she is not false. And be wary of what Regal’s spies report to you. Put spies upon the spies, before you act on any of their reports. Consult with Chade. Promise me this.
I am not a fool, Verity. I know how to hold my throne.
Good. Good then. Make sure the boy is tended to. He is not trained for this.
Someone snatched my hand back then, as if from a burning stove. I sagged forward, put my head down between my knees while the world spun around me. Next to me, I could hear King Shrewd panting for his breath as if he had run a race. The Fool pushed a glass of wine into my hand, then went back to urging small sips of wine into the King. And over all, suddenly, Wallace’s voice, demanding, ‘What have you done to the King?’
‘It is both of them!’ There was a sharp edge of fear to the Fool’s voice. ‘They were talking together, quite calmly, then suddenly this! Take the damned Smoke censers away! I fear you have killed them both!’
‘Silence, Fool! Do not accuse my healing of this!’ But I heard the hurry in Wallace’s step as he made the rounds of the room, pinching out the burning twists in each censer or capping them with brass cups. In a moment the windows were thrown wide to the icy winter night. The cool air steadied me. I managed to sit up and take a sip of the wine. Gradually my senses came back to me. Even so, I was still sitting there when Regal came bustling into the room, demanding to know what had happened. He addressed the question to me, as the Fool was helping Wallace put the King to bed.
I shook my head at him dumbly, and the giddiness was not all pretended.
‘How is the King? Will he recover?’ he called to Wallace.
Wallace immediately came hurrying to Regal’s side. ‘He seems to be steadying, Prince Regal. I do not know what overcame him. There was no sign of a struggle, but he is as wearied as if he had run a race. His health will not stand this sort of excitement, my prince.’
Regal turned an appraising glance on me. ‘What did you do to my father?’ he growled.
‘I? Nothing.’ That at least was truthful. Whatever had happened, it had been the King’s doing and Verity’s. ‘We were talking quietly. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed. Dizzy. Weak. As if I were losing consciousness.’ I turned my gaze to Wallace. ‘Could it have been the Smoke?’
‘Perhaps,’ he conceded unhappily. He looked nervously at Regal’s darkening stare. ‘Well, it seems every day I must make it stronger, for it to have any effect at all. And still he complains that …’
‘SILENCE!’ Regal cut him off with a roar. He gestured at me as if I were offal. ‘Get him out of here. Then get back to tend the King.’
At that moment, Shrewd moaned in his sleep, and I felt again the feather-soft brushing of the Skill against my senses. My hair hackled.
‘No. Go to the King now, Wallace. Fool. You get the Bastard out of here. And see that this is not spoken of amongst the servants. I shall know if I am disobeyed. Hurry up, now. My father is not well.’
I had thought I could rise on my own and depart, but found that I did need the Fool’s assistance, at least to stand. Once I was up on my feet, I teetered along precariously, feeling as if I tottered on stilts. Walls loomed near and then far, the floor heaved gently beneath me like the deck of a ship when she rides a slow swell.
‘I can manage from here,’ I told the Fool once we were outside the door. He shook his head.
‘You are too vulnerable to be left alone just now,’ he told me quietly, and then linked arms with me, and began some nonsensical discourse. He put a fine front of camaraderie on helping me up the stairs and to my door. He waited, chattering on, while I unlatched it and then followed me in.
‘I told you, I am all right,’ I said with some annoyance. All I wanted to do was lie down.
‘Are you? And how is my king? What did you do to him, back there?’
‘I did nothing!’ I gritted out as I sat down on the foot of my bed. My head was beginning to pound. Elfbark tea. That was what I needed just now. I had none.
‘You did! You asked his permission, and then you took his hand. And in the next instant you were both gasping like fish.’
‘Just an instant?’ It had felt like hours to me. I had thought the whole evening spent.
‘No more than three heart beats.’
‘Ooh.’ I put my hands to my temples, tried to push my skull back into one piece. Why did Burrich have to be gone just now? I knew he would have elfbark. The pain demanded I take a chance. ‘Do you have any elfbark? For tea?’
‘With me? No. But I could go beg some of Lacey. She keeps a horde of all sorts of herbs.’
‘Would you?’
‘What did you do to the King?’ The trade he offered was plain.
The pressure in my head built, pushing out on my eyes. ‘Nothing,’ I gasped. ‘And what he did to me is for him to tell. If he chooses. Is that plain enough for you?’
A silence. ‘Perhaps. Are you really in that much pain?’
I lay back very slowly on my bed. Even putting my head down hurt.
‘I’ll be back shortly,’ he offered. I heard the door of my room open and shut. I lay still, eyes closed. Gradually the sense of what I had eavesdropped formed itself in my mind. Despite my pain, I sorted information. Regal had spies. Or claimed to. Brawndy was a traitor. Or so Regal claimed his supposed spies had informed him. I suspected Brawndy was as much a traitor as Kettricken was. Oh, the spreading poison. And the pain. Suddenly I remembered the pain. Had not Chade bid me simply to observe as I had been taught to find an answer to my question? It had been plain before me all the time, if only I had not been so blinded with fears of traitors and plots and poisons.
A disease was eating King Shrewd, gnawing him away from the inside. He drugged himself against the agony, in an effort to have some corner of his mind to himself, a place in which the pain could not come and rob him. If someone had just told me of that a few hours ago, I would have scoffed. Now, lying on my bed, trying to breathe softly because the slightest movement triggered another wave of pain, I could begin to understand. Pain. I’d only been enduring this for a few minutes, and I’d already sent the Fool running for elfbark. Another consideration pushed itself into my mind. I expected this pain to pass, that by tomorrow I would rise up free from it. What if I had to face it every moment for the rest of my life, with the certainty that it was devouring what hours were left to me? No wonder Shrewd kept himself drugged.
I heard my door open and close quietly. When I did not hear th
e Fool begin to make tea, I forced my eyes open. Justin and Serene stood inside the door of my room. They stood frozen, as if in the lair of a savage beast. When I shifted my head slightly to look at them, Serene’s lips actually drew back as if she snarled. Within me, Nighteyes snarled back. The tempo of my heart suddenly increased. Danger here. I tried to loosen my muscles, to be ready to take any action, but the pain bludgeoning my head bade me only be still, be still. ‘I didn’t hear your knock,’ I managed to say. Each word was edged in red as my voice echoed in my skull.
‘I didn’t knock,’ Serene said harshly. Her clearly-spoken words were as painful to me as a clubbing. I prayed she didn’t know how much power she had over me just then. I prayed for the Fool to come back. I tried to appear nonchalant, as if I kept to my bed only because I considered them so unimportant.
‘Did you need something from me?’ I sounded brusque. In reality, each word cost too much effort to waste even one.
‘Need? Never,’ Serene scoffed.
Skill nudged me. Clumsily. Justin, prodding at me. I could not repress the shudder that went through me. My king’s use of me had left my mind as raw as a bleeding wound. Justin’s awkward Skilling was like having cat’s claws rake my brain.
Shield yourself. Verity was a whisper. I made an effort to set my guards, but could not find enough of myself to do it. Serene was smiling.
Justin was pushing into my mind like a hand shoving into a pudding. My senses jumbled suddenly. He smelled foul in my head, he was a terrible rotten greenish-yellow and sounded like spurs jingling. Shield, Verity pleaded. He sounded desperate, weak, and I knew he was trying very hard to hold the tattered pieces of myself together for me. He’s going to kill you with sheer stupidity. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing.
