Grey holds my hand and rubs it. “You all right?” he asks. I guess I’ve just been looking around and smiling as they chat.
I look up into his eyes and get a little more lost in love. “Yeah. I’m perfect.”
He shows me a toothy grin, then leans down and kisses my nose. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” I whisper. He smiles and drinks some of the wine Jaimie brought.
“Want some?” He gestures to the bottle. His thumb rubs my skin.
“No. I’m good. Thanks. Feeling a little sick.” I shake my head and smile a little bigger.
He just smirks at me and gulps down some more wine.
A buzzing noise pulls me out of my hazy head. The intercom. But we weren’t expecting anyone else…right?
“I’ll get it,” I assure Grey, and he nods but still stares in the direction of the elevator.
I get up and press the button that allows people up and lean against the brick wall. I bite my lip and rub the back of my hand longingly. I can still feel his warm touch there. Can still see his canine teeth. Smell his rich cologne.
“Olivia, it’s so good to see you.” I am suddenly engulfed in a hug.
The strong perfume of a French designer is the tell-tale sign.
“Mother.” I smile unsteadily. She feels cold and weird. I haven’t felt her hug me in what feels like years. She feels heavy and very present.
She pulls away and smiles at me, warmly. “How have you been?”
“Great. Not to be rude, but I thought you weren’t coming.” She told me she was spending the holiday with Grandma.
She laughs lightly and shrugs. “I thought I would spend the day with my daughter instead.” She pinches my cheek. Weird. It’s going to take some time to get used to her acting so…motherly.
I break out into a grin. “Oh, well, follow me. I have my friends over and Grey’s friend and his fiancée; I’ll introduce you to everyone,” I inform her as I lead her into the makeshift dining room.
Everyone looks up, confused, but Jaimie and Julia’s mouth drops and Grey’s eyebrow raises, merely out of confusion.
“Everyone, this is my mother…Elena.” I clear my throat and smile softly.
“It’s lovely to meet you all.” She smiles, and I am taken aback for a moment. Flashbacks of me associating her as a Disney princess when I was five pop into my brain. Of her buying me dresses and bopping me on the nose as I snuck cookies before dinner.
“You okay?” Grey whispers, touches my hand, thumb rubbing.
I look over at my mother in her designer dress and radiant smile as she talks to everyone, and I look up at him and whisper, “Perfect.”
He still looks confused by her presence but kisses me on the top of my hair.
I smile and close my eyes. I love it when he does this. Makes me feel so safe, so warm, so…home.
A few minutes pass, and I’m teleported back to the time Jonah was three and throwing mashed potatoes at my head, until I am ripped out of the happy memory by the same buzzing that broke the peace a while ago.
“I got it.” Grey stands, and I smile, grateful. He kisses my hair before deftly leaving the room. I smooth my hair back and smile into my palm, elbow rested on the table.
About a minute later, Grey comes back with two people in tow.
My jaw drops, and Matthew and Lily gasps.
Behind Grey are my father and a woman on his arm…Jenna…Garrett’s wife.
Chapter Twenty-One
What the heck? Are they a thing? But how? I didn’t know they knew each other.
My mother looks over and almost chokes on her wine. “Leo?” she sneers, and I slide down in my chair, hand slapped over my mouth as I realize: Jenna’s the woman my father has been seeing for a decade.
“Oh no,” I squeak.
Time seems to slow down. Everyone freezes despite not knowing exactly what’s happening. They can just feel the awkward, tense charge sting the air. No one says anything or even moves, unsure of what to do or say. I don’t even know what to do. I’m just waiting on my mother’s reaction. Will she freak out? Or remain her renowned understanding, cool, calm, collected self and smile this through? Noticing her slipping smile and growing scowl, I’m gonna have to with the former.
“Leo!” my mother roars, and I flinch.
It’s weird hearing her scream and prepare to rip someone’s head off, and it’s not directed toward me. I feel bad for Father for a second, but then I look over at Jenna, who looks as frozen as everyone else. But there’s this little tint of smugness around her.
I don’t like her.
“Elena,” my father sputters, tightening his grip on Jenna’s hand.
Mother eyes the interaction and takes a faltering step back. She is hurt. Pained. Angered. But speechless. I have never seen her like this before, and I feel her pain. I feel it all. She looks over her shoulder at me, and I see something that makes time slow down and a memory hit me like a brick building.
“Mommy.” I tugged at her hand, trying to get her attention. But she just wept and wept over and over. All she seemed to do was cry lately. I wondered why. “Mommy,” I tried again. This time, she looked at me, and I felt her pain. All of it.
“Yes, sweetie?” she said, her voice sweet as sugar.
“Why is Jonah sleeping in the ground when he has a bed at home?” I had asked, innocent and unaware of what was going on.
“Because he’s…he’s…” She struggled and wept again. “He’s gone, baby.”
“When is he coming back?” I tilted my head, and she wept some more. “I wanna be where he is.” I made a move to step into the ground.
Her eyes widened, and she bent down to me, gently cupping my face. “You do not want to be where he is…” She paused and scanned my face. “But you will always feel him in here.” She tapped my heart, then rubbed her thumbs on the back of my hands. Her nimble fingers found my pretty charms Daddy had given me for being good. She held my wrist up, stared at a charm with the letter “J” on it, and pressed her lips to it. “And he’s right here. With you. Every day. Okay, baby?”
She looked at me, blue eyes dull and wet, when they were usually bright and shining.
I nodded. “Yes, Mommy. I understand.”
“Liv,” Grey calls my name. He’s standing beside me, but I don’t remember getting up. “You’re crying,” he says, swiping his thumb under my eye. His eyes scour my face for some conclusion.
“Get out,” I whisper.
“What?” someone says.
“Everyone…I’m sorry, but…please leave. Party’s over.” I give up and back away from the table before Grey can talk me out of this. I am just too hurt and angry to go on like this didn’t happen.
Before I can depart from the many concerned eyes, I walk over to my father and say, “What you did was vile, and I can’t believe it came from you.” He flinches but clamps his mouth shut and looks to the ground. I look at Jenna, who is blushing and looking at the ground too.
“Mother, I am so sorry…” I begin to walk over to her, but she forces on a fake smile.
“It’s…not your fault, honey.” She walks over to me and rubs my shoulder. She notices my father and his lover’s proximity…then kisses my cheek before storming to the elevator.
I don’t dare look back as I rush to the bedroom. My father ruined Thanksgiving.
Chapter Twenty-Two
When I was younger, Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday besides Christmas. My father and Jonah would spend most of the day out back throwing around a football. The sport was and still is a national token that represents Thanksgiving, so my uncles and male cousins would play in the massive backyard while inside, the females cooked and gossiped and cheered on their sons and husbands. Lively music, kids chasing bubbles, me in my princess dress…everything was perfect. And then Jonah died, and we fell in this hole of solitude and glumness.
Ever since then, all I’ve wanted was a successful Thanksgiving that felt even a fraction of what it used to feel like.
Happy. Traditional. Light. Friendly. But every single time, it’s dreary and spent with dry conversations and forks scraping against expensive china. Tense and sad and a memory I was quick to forget, to wipe away from my mind. The day just wasn’t the same without him. Almost nothing was. No. Absolutely nothing was the same without him. He was our little ball of ethereal sunshine, and with him gone…
I thought I found what I’d been desperately searching for eleven years today. But then my father had to bring the woman he betrayed my mother with for a decade. On the day that is meant for families. He should have let her spend the family day with her family and come on his own. Sure, it would have been awkward with Mother being there. But I don’t care. They are my parents. My family. The only ones who experienced the same crash. Smelled the same fuels. Felt the same pain when my little brother was put in the ground, forever to be alone, without us, without…me.
I taste them before I realize what’s happening. I’m crying. I left the party an hour ago, kicked everyone out who was making the day feel special again, and I’ve been crying this entire time. I just didn’t feel it, because I became numb with memories and pain and a hollow pit in my chest.
Grey left me alone because I plead for him to leave me be. But, with the apartment empty, I could hear his rough breathing on the other side of the door. Feel his head’s weight as he leaned it against the wood door. Smell the aura of desperation in his voice as he begged for me to let him in. To not let myself be shut out to him.
But now I’m calling for him.
I need my Grey to make me feel loved. To be here for me.
“Grey.” I sit up in the bed, wrap my arms around my stomach.
He’s by my side and pulling me into his chest in a second. “I’m right here.” He kisses my hair, and I exhale softly. Sobs leave my mouth. He rubs my back. “Right here, princess.”
He rocks me back and forth, and I just fall deeper and deeper in love with this man. He makes me better, more whole, compared to how I was before I met him. The Grey is a nice place to be; I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks into my hair, pressing his warm fingers onto my back.
I shake my head and close my eyes, teleporting us back to That Day at the stream, That Night in the cabin, That Everything with this man. “Just…why is life so unfair?” He stays silent, letting me rant. I pull back and continue. “Why did Jonah have to die? Why did my father have to cheat? Why did my mother have to be such a maniac? Why did I have to have so many breakdowns? Why can’t it just…stop?”
“What do you want to stop?” He rubs the back of my hands.
I shake my head as tears flow faster. “Everything.”
“Don’t say things like that.” He tips my head up and looks into my eyes fiercely. “I know a part of you died when your brother died. You lost him, and things haven’t been the same. But don’t lie and say that things haven’t changed for the better. Don’t say you aren’t happy right now. He may be gone, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t always with you. Right here.” He taps my heart, and time freezes. Just like what my mother did and said.
I sob and fall into his chest, wrapping my arms around him securely. “Make it better. Please,” I beg, not knowing how he can possibly fill the gaping hole in my chest that’s been that way for more than a decade. It isn’t possible, but I have faith he can fill the hole with something I have been drunk on—his love.
“Do you trust me?” he asks. Thumbs pausing.
I nod mutely.
“Good.” He kisses my hair, and I soak into his touch.
***
“Where are we going?” I ask him a few hours later. We’ve been driving for what seems like forever. And he forced me to wear a blindfold, which is just a clean black shirt of his. I was significantly surprised when he produced a clean shirt. He blushed, nudged me, and I smiled. Softly, lovingly.
“I’m not telling you anything,” he says, teasing.
“What if you’re taking me to the desert where you’ll kill me?” I tease right back. I know he wouldn’t ever do something as atrocious as that, but I need to joke to relieve the tension. I’m still not relaxed or resolved ever since the apartment fiasco. I still feel woeful over a death that was not deserved and has impacted mine and other’s lives so greatly.
Grey slides his fingers through my palm, rested on my thigh. I smile. He must have noticed the little dismay written on my face. “If I wanted to do that, I would have done it a long time ago, don’t you think?” He raises our hands and kisses my knuckles. I don’t have to see to know I am flaming red. “You said you trusted me.”
“I do. Forever,” I assure him.
“Good.” I feel the car come to a slow halt. Then a little jolt as the engine turns off. “Because we’re here.”
He helps me out, and I instantly know we’re somewhere in a forest. The smell of trees and mud and the distinct taste of fresh air hit me all at once. The leaves crunching under my shoes are also a dead giveaway. We walk for a few seconds, and then we’re stopped in front of something. I want to reach out and touch whatever is in front of me, but he’s holding both of my hands. One arm slung around my waist holds my right, the other locked with my left.
A few clicks, and then a new air hits me.
“Watch your step,” he instructs.
I hit something with my shoe and tilt forward. Yelping, I stumble back into his chest as he tugs me into his arms.
“What the hell, Grey?” I curse him even though he told me to watch out. It isn’t my fault I can’t see past this black shirt.
“Sorry.” He laughs, and I nudge him in the stomach. “Fuck—ouch! I said to watch your step.” I can hear the scowl and the roll of his eyes.
I smile. “Sorry.”
He sighs, wiping away that. “Just…just hold onto me. Okay?”
I nod and wrap an arm around him. He reaches round and holds me, giving me a side bear-hug. I smile even wider and lay my head against him. Even blind-folded and practically ripped of my senses, my body feels connected to him.
We walk and walk for what feels like forever. I hear a few “the fuck’s” and “rich people” from him until we finally stop. I can sense the door before we step to the side as it is opened. A little fresh breeze of air and the striking smell of chlorine and new furniture fills my nose.
“I’m going to remove the blindfold now,” he warns, and then his hands are untying the knot at the back of my head. Lights nearly blind me once it’s off. I rub my eyes using my palms, then slowly open my eyes. I gasp and look around.
“The cabin,” I conclude. Glass windows line the perimeter of the room, showing the big backyard that leads down to the clear lake. White-trimmed lounge chairs, a built-in fire pit, a flat-screen TV surrounded by comfortable sofas, marble floors, a ceiling fan, and tropical plants fill the expansive area.
“Shit. You guys are really packing.” Grey whistles as he looks around.
I crack a shy grin. “This used to be my favorite place.” I slowly walk over to the pool, toe off my shoes, and place my bare feet in the crystal-blue water. He sits next to me, does the same. Our feet gently knock each other. “If I ever felt too pressured with the work Mother forced onto me, I’d sneak away and come here. Take a few laps. Marsh some mellows.” He laughs as I pause, smiling at the memory. “It was sort of my serene place.” I look up at the high ceilings. A few clouds pass by the bright, illuminating moon.
Grey gently pushes hair from my forehead, and I close my eyes in bliss. “It must have been lonely coming out here by yourself. I’m sorry.”
I face him and his frown. I laugh a little. “How can you be sorry? You didn’t even know me then.”
He shrugs and looks out at the water. “I should have felt you. You’re kinda my soulmate, my girl. I should have known you needed me.”
“Who said I needed you?” I playfully nudge him with my shoulder, and he glares at me cutely, lips pursed and brows frowning. “Okay.” I blush a
nd look away at the water that stares back at me. “I may have needed you big time.”
He exudes a breath and wraps an arm around me, pulls me close. I let him. “But I’m here now.”
I nod. “Yes. You are.”
A comfortable silence fills the air. It’s the kind of silence you feel when you are at peace, happy, content. When you don’t have any worries or trouble or anything. You just feel…right.
“Wanna go for a dip?” he asks after a few minutes of the silence.
I open my eyes; I hadn’t realized I closed them in the first place. “I don’t have a change of clothes.”
“So? They’ll dry overnight,” he says, already taking off his shirt.
I stare at his chest, then stammer, “Overnight?”
He looks at me with a look of incredulity as he undoes his pants. “You didn’t seriously think I drove us out here for three hours and not expect us to sleep here, did you?” He stands up and pulls down his boxers. After all I have seen and been through with him, I still blush and look away like it’s the first time.
“I didn’t know we were coming here. And I was mostly asleep during the drive.”
He squats beside me, real close to my face, and says, “Don’t be a baby.” Then, in one smooth motion, he is gliding through the pool like a swordfish piercing through air. I watch him in fascination as he swims to the other side, turns around like a pro, then swims over to me. He pops out of the water and pushes hair off his forehead. I blush.
“I don’t know…” I say, pushing my own hair behind my ear.
He swims over to me and gently tugs at a big toe. “Don’t be a pussy.”
I roll my eyes, bite my lip…then sigh. “Fine.” I take off my top, and he blinks. Like he thought I would say no.
Grey: Everlasting (Spectrum Series Book 6) Page 16
