But there were no whims in the world of a chocolatier.
She glanced at her to-do lists and the calendar sitting beside her computer, as if she needed proof that her business revolved around plans, not whims. Her week was outlined by task, day, and hour on the master list hanging behind her desk. Two more detailed lists itemized the lesser duties that had to be carried out on a daily or weekly basis, and those resided on her desk. All of the bigger events and orders for the summer were highlighted in pink on her calendar, proof of how far she’d come and how well she ran the business.
Carly had been slightly jealous when Marie had first told her of her plans to go adventuring. But that jealousy had been accompanied by thoughts of Zev, and Carly had pushed it aside and thrown all of her energy into the business. Marie had enjoyed her downtime as much as her time at work and had earned a steady stream of income that she’d been happy with. She hadn’t had aspirations to take the business to the next level. But when she gave the business to Carly, Carly had different plans. She wanted to prove to her aunt that she was worthy of her trust, but she also needed to prove to herself that she didn’t need the dreams she’d left behind. She’d outlined goals of taking on more events each year and had strategized new marketing plans, which Birdie had since tweaked and perfected. She’d dedicated herself to the business, putting in long hours seven days a week, and had far surpassed her goals.
She wasn’t about to let all that fall apart because of Zev Kisser Extraordinaire Braden.
Trying to ignore the hitch in her chest, she finished typing an apologetic and slightly pleading email requesting a rush delivery for the chocolate. Before ordering supplies for the festival, she double-checked inventory and previously placed orders. Once that was taken care of, she worked through the rest of her emails, returned phone calls, and finally she searched her office top to bottom for her phone. Coming up empty, she looked high and low in the kitchen, relieved to see Birdie had made their special Monday truffles and treats. Maybe showing up late wouldn’t make for a crazy day after all. If only she could find her phone…
She made her way up front. The shop was quiet, which was unusual for a Monday, but Carly was thankful to have a moment to breathe. “Sorry I was so late. I can’t find my phone anywhere, so I had no alarm.”
Birdie opened a drawer and pulled out Carly’s phone. “I found it in the pantry.”
“The pantry?” Carly took it, trying to remember when she might have put it in the pantry. Most of the night was a blur of her heart racing while trying to teach the class and then of Zev gazing into her eyes, when her brain had failed to function and she’d given in to those sinfully delicious kisses…
“Someone left their chocolates here last night,” Birdie said, snapping her out of her reverie. “So…I started putting the pieces together. You never lose your phone, which means you were supremely distracted last night, and based on the fact that you’re uncharacteristically late today and the state of that messy bun you have going on, I’d say it’s safe to assume you and Zev got reacquainted last night.”
Carly shoved the phone into the back pocket of the denim shorts with lace trim that Birdie had given her and said, “Don’t ask.” She turned away, pretending to straighten up the shelves of wooden blocks with a saying about chocolate printed on them.
“Oh, I’m asking!” Birdie hurried out from behind the register in a cute blue-and-white polka-dot minidress that matched her headband and said, “You’re wearing the outfit I bought you, too! I knew that burgundy tank would look great on you. The pink lace bralette and the leather necklaces are perfect touches. Did Zev like them this morning? I noticed last night that he was wearing leather bracelets.”
“I wouldn’t know. I told him to leave last night.” She tried to move around her friend, but Birdie blocked her way, grinning like the pesty-but-lovable bestie she was.
“Did he leave last night, or in the wee hours of the morning? I assume it was after the great sex?”
“We didn’t have great sex,” Carly snapped, hating herself for taking her frustrations out on Birdie.
Birdie’s smile faded. “Bummer. Zev sucks in bed? I wouldn’t expect that from the way he looks.”
“No. I don’t know! He didn’t suck when we were together.” Carly groaned and pushed past Birdie’s all-too-exuberant self. “Maybe he does suck now, but I doubt it. He sure knew what he was doing when he kissed me.”
Birdie let out her signature squeal and followed Carly around the store as Carly pretended to straighten bags of candies and other goodies. “You totally owe me one for last night, by the way. I went to the ranch after my yoga class and Cowboy was getting ready to come back here. He was worried about you. He said when you saw Zev, you totally freaked out. But don’t worry, I told him it was the good kind of freak-out, not the bad one.”
“Yeah, well, now you know what being with Zev does to me. He makes me forget who I am and turns me into an unorganized mess who can’t sleep. He occupies every iota of my brain so I can’t think of anything but the way he kissed me and how his hands felt in my hair and—ugh! See?” She stomped across the store.
Birdie put her hand on her hip, speaking sarcastically. “God forbid your perfect world gets upended by a hot guy who looks at you in ways I’ve never seen a man look at a woman.”
There was no denying the way Zev looked at her like she was the only thing he saw. But she’d been his and he’d left her behind. And she’d done the same to him in Mexico. But that had been her survival instincts kicking in. She didn’t know if she could walk away again.
“I can’t be with him, Birdie. He hurt me.”
“You were teenagers. Everyone knows teenagers are stupid, and you had both lost someone you loved, Carly. You told me how close you and Tory were and that you guys double dated all the time. Losing a friend like that would be a lot for anyone to handle, much less a guy who’s got hormones and nineteen-year-old stupidity messing with his head.”
“But he never called, and he never came back for me. You’re supposed to be on my side, aren’t you?” She felt like she might cry for no good reason, just like she had last night while she’d consumed almost the entire box of Lucky Charms she’d bought on her way home after class.
Birdie’s expression softened. “I am always on your side, no matter what. But he must have come back here last night, which means he wanted to see you again. This was taped to the door this morning.” She reached into the pocket of her dress and handed an envelope to Carly.
Her pulse quickened at the sight of Carls written in Zev’s messy handwriting across the front of the envelope. His penmanship hadn’t changed a bit.
“He’s the only person I’ve ever known to call you Carls,” Birdie said.
A lump swelled in Carly’s throat. “Yeah,” she said just above a whisper and slipped the envelope into her back pocket with her phone.
Birdie looked at her wide-eyed. “You’re not going to open it?”
“I can’t right now. If it’s goodbye, I’ll be sad. If it’s not, I’ll be confused. There’s no good outcome.”
“I swear, you have been out of the dating game for way too long.”
“I date,” she insisted.
“Two or three times a year does not count as dating. If you relied on men to sustain yourself, you’d be emaciated. Carly, come on. Don’t you believe in destiny?”
Carly fought a wave of sadness. “Fate took my best friend’s life, and then it stole my boyfriend away from me, so I don’t really buy into all that mumbo jumbo about things being written in the stars.”
“It’s true that fate took Tory, and I know that must have been horrible. But Zev’s leaving wasn’t fate. It was destiny. Fate is that which can’t be changed. Destiny is what comes through actively making decisions and committing to a path of changing, learning, and growing. When you came to Colorado, you took responsibility for your life and your destiny. You took a leap of faith and look what it’s done for you.”
“That wa
sn’t me taking responsibility. I was just trying to survive a broken heart,” Carly corrected her.
“That’s what I’m saying. You made a conscious decision to make changes and survive what you’d gone through. Don’t you think Zev could have been doing the same thing when he left Pleasant Hill? Trying to survive in the only way he knew how? You said Beau stayed away from home, too.”
“Beau lost his girlfriend. Zev didn’t. I was right there with him. He’s the one who ran away. I lost him.”
“I know, and that’s got to hurt more than I could ever imagine. But maybe that envelope tells you why. Or maybe it’s an apology since you sent him away last night. You’ll never know unless you open it. But that’s all I’ll say on the subject. Promise.” She walked toward the counter and stopped before she reached it. “I think you should open it.”
“You just broke your promise,” Carly teased.
“At least think about it,” Birdie urged. “He seemed really nice. Before I knew who he was, I was all geared up to give him my come-on-big-boy lines.”
“You and probably every other woman who has ever met him. Miranda hit on him in class last night, and he ate it up.” A wave of jealousy moved through her.
“She’s female, so that’s no surprise,” Birdie said lightly.
“I thought you weren’t going to say anything else about him.”
“I’m not.” Birdie knitted her brow and pressed her lips together, looking like she was going to burst.
Carly threw her hands up and said, “Just say it already. Get it all out so I can go make—and eat—a white-chocolate cheesecake.”
“Please open it!” Birdie exclaimed. “I’m dying to know what it says.”
“Birdie. You know where I’ll be if you need me.” She headed for the kitchen.
As she set out the ingredients for the cheesecake, the envelope burned a hole through her pocket with the same insistence her body had craved Zev last night. She looked at the counter where they’d made out, and shivers of heat skated through her. She closed her eyes, but that was even worse. She could still feel his hands in her hair and his hard length grinding against her center. Her eyes flew open, but she didn’t try to push away the lust pooling low in her belly as Zev’s voice trampled through her mind. I’m sorry, Carls. I’m so sorry. She’d thought he was apologizing for kissing her, but now that she was thinking about that moment more specifically, he had seemed like he’d wanted to say more.
Her nerves prickled as she pulled the envelope from her pocket and stared at her name, remembering the notes he used to leave in her car, in her locker at school, and taped to the outside of her bedroom window. She felt herself smiling with the memories, her pulse spiking as she ran her finger beneath the flap to open the envelope. But fear of the worst stole her smile, and she froze.
What if it is goodbye?
Inhaling deeply, she thought, What if it’s not?
She didn’t know what to hope for. She felt the same way she had when she’d left for college at the end of the summer after Zev had gone away. She’d been afraid to leave in case he came back, and at the same time, she’d been afraid to stay in case he didn’t.
She refused to be that lost girl again, stuck in a middle ground. She tore open the envelope and unfolded the paper, needing to know one way or the other. Her eyes fell to the middle of the page, where Zev had written, Hey there, beautiful. I dare you to sing our song.
Like magic, the twangy fast beat of “Life Is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts played in her head. He’d drawn an arrow along the bottom of the paper all the way to the edge. She turned the paper over and read what he’d written. You’re in my blood, you’re all around. Sing it, baby. I love that sound. Z
Happiness bubbled up inside her, despite all that lay in their pasts.
Leaving the envelope taped to the door, the dare, and the cheesy rhyme born from their song was all quintessential Zev. They’d always taken lyrics and twisted them into their own. She set the paper aside, humming the song as she preheated the oven and began mixing the ingredients for the crust of the cheesecake. It had been forever since she’d thought of their song. It felt so good, she began swinging her hips and whispering the lyrics. She pressed the crumble crust into the pie pan, washed her hands, and queued up “Life Is a Highway” on her phone. She turned it on repeat and began combining the ingredients for the cheesecake.
By the time she poured the batter into the crust, she was full-on dancing, adding in a spin every few lines. The chorus rang out after she put the cheesecake in the oven, and she grabbed the spatula, using it as a microphone, dancing across the kitchen singing and whipping her hair from side to side. She belted out the lyrics and twirled around—stopping cold at the sight of Birdie in the doorway watching her, holding an enormous gift basket full of sugar-cereal boxes. Carly’s heart skipped. There was only one person who would send a basket of cereal.
“Who are you?” Birdie asked with a laugh. “If this is what kissing Zev Braden does to a girl, then let me in on that action.”
Carly pointed the spatula at her and said, “Back off, Birdie. I’m not afraid to use this thing.”
“Let’s just hope you’ll let him use his thing, because if his kisses put you in this kind of mood, imagine what docking his boat in your harbor will do.” Birdie set the basket on the counter and plucked an envelope from between two boxes of cereal. “I think treasure boy has struck again.”
Carly knew exactly what making love with Zev would do to her. There would be no going back. Reality rolled in. She wouldn’t want to walk away again, and she wouldn’t survive making love to him and then watching him walk away, either. She turned off the music, disappointed in herself. She’d totally lost her mind over a dare and a song.
She tossed the spatula in the sink and said, “What am I doing, Birdie? I can’t fall for Zevy again.”
“You’re not falling. You’re dancing, having fun.” Birdie went to her and said, “Carly, I’ve known you since you moved here, when you were so sad I wanted my mom to wrap you in her arms and not let go until you were better. I’ve watched you become an amazingly strong woman. You’ve taught me so much about being resilient and standing on my own two feet. You’re my best friend, and I love you. You taught me everything I know about this business and what it takes to run it. You should be proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Especially with the shop.”
“We’ve accomplished, Birdie. We did it together.”
“I followed your lead. I love who you are every day, Carly, but I’ve never seen you look or sound as happy as you did when I walked into the kitchen just now. I think Zev might be good for you despite all the darkness.”
Carly sighed. “We were good together, but he’s the one who broke me.”
“I know you think that. I’d say that maybe he’s the only one who can unbreak you, but that sounds bad, because you’re not broken. But I’ve never seen that girl I just saw, so maybe he’s the only one who can find that secret part of you again. That part that makes you dance and sing.” She handed Carly the envelope from the basket and said, “I want to know why he thinks you need four boxes of cereal. Is that a sex thing I don’t know about?”
Carly laughed. “No, but it was our thing. We never slowed down when we were together, not even to eat. Cereal was portable. We could munch on it while we hiked, or sailed, or hung out on the beach.”
“You were a cheap date, and it sounds like you guys had tons of fun. That’s it—I need a Zev in my life.”
“I was never bored or hungry or anything but happy when I was with Zevy. We just clicked, you know? That’s why I was so devastated when he left.” Carly opened the envelope and withdrew a folded paper. A phone number was written across the flap. She and Birdie exchanged a curious glance as she unfolded the note and read the handwritten message. I dare you to sext me a picture.
Carly’s jaw hung open. “I am not doing that.”
“Oh, yes you are!”
“No. Kissing him is one
thing, but I don’t send dirty selfies to anyone. Who knows where those things could end up? No way.”
Birdie giggled. “This is going to be so funny!” She took Carly by the wrist, pulling her over to a chair, and shoved her into it. “Give me your bra.”
“I will not.”
“You’re such a prude. Lucky for you, so are Sasha and I.” Birdie turned around and said, “Unzip me. Quick, before a customer comes in.”
“No. You’re nuts.”
Birdie made a frustrated sound, trying to reach her zipper.
“Fine, geez.” Carly unzipped her dress. “How did you get it zipped up, anyway?”
“I have a zipper pull.” Birdie proceeded to take her arms out of her dress and remove her bra. She put her dress back on, leaving it unzipped, and placed the cups of her bra over Carly’s knees, hooking it behind them. “I can’t believe you’ve never done this. You’re not that much older than me.”
Carly had about five years on her. “I don’t even know what you’re doing. He’s going to know they’re my knees!”
“Trust me, sweetpea, I learned from the best.” She snagged Carly’s phone from the counter and moved behind the chair. “Okay, knees together, tuck your legs back.” She leaned over Carly’s shoulder and took a few pictures. “Sasha knows all the tricks. All you have to do is take it really close up. She once sent a shot like this to a guy, and he started sending her pictures of him jerking off to it!”
Searching for Love (The Bradens & Montgomerys (Pleasant Hill - Oak Falls) Book 6) Page 6
