The bells on the door chimed and the shop went quiet. “I’m thinking of sleeping with Cutter,” Birdie said, heading toward the kitchen.
“Mm-hm.” Carly didn’t look up from her phone, where her eyes were still glued to the text from Zev. Take a leap of faith with me. Meet me at Silk Hollow at 2.
Birdie was rambling about something, but Carly’s mind was running in circles. Silk Hollow was a swimming hole surrounded by granite cliffs and fed by a small waterfall. It wasn’t far from the Sterling House, and it was known as the best cliff-diving spot around. It was also one of the places she and Zev had put on their one-day list when they were in middle school. His family had been visiting his cousins in Weston, Colorado. Dane had gone to Silk Hollow with his friends, and Zev had been too young to tag along. Dane had come back with exciting stories of the fun they’d had, and after Zev had come home, he’d told Carly all about it. They’d vowed to go cliff diving there together one day and have their own fun.
“Or maybe Beau,” Birdie said as she walked past Carly.
“Okay,” she said absently, mentally arguing with herself about wanting to go see Zev.
Birdie continued talking, her voice fading back to white noise as she walked away from Carly, then becoming louder as she approached from behind.
“Stand back, everyone! I’ve got this!” Birdie hollered.
Carly whipped her head around and found Birdie wearing safety goggles and looking adorably ridiculous in her crop top and high-waisted shorts, holding a fire extinguisher that was as big as her torso. “What are you doing?”
“I have been telling you my plans to sleep with different guys all morning, including the UPS guy, the dude at the coffee shop who we think is hot, Cutter, and even Beau, and you have approved of every one of them! That can only mean that your brain is fried. I’m going to put out the fire.”
“Birdie!” Carly pocketed her phone and tried to take the extinguisher from her hands, but Birdie pulled it away.
“Don’t you Birdie me. I can’t afford for you to have burn-out brain. You’re my guiding light, my mentor, and at the moment, I’m living vicariously through you and really getting tired of waiting for you to do all the dirty things with Zev that I want to!”
“Oh my God. You’re so fired!”
Birdie set the extinguisher down and pulled off her goggles. “No I’m not. You love me, and you know I’m right. Now, hand over your phone. I need to see what’s got you so mind-boggled that you’d say okay to me sleeping with Beau.”
“I’m not giving you my phone. I’m sorry I’ve been out of it today. It’s a weird time right now.”
“Clearly.” She waved to Carly’s shorts and faded concert T-shirt and said, “You’re wearing that shirt and UGGs. News flash! Nobody listens to Journey anymore. And UGGs, Carly? It’s summertime.”
“They’re like comfort food. I just needed them today.”
“But why? You said last night was good, that you talked and cleared the air. Why aren’t you dressing slutty and walking on air?”
“Because Zev makes me want to be the girl I used to be—which was never slutty, by the way—and that’s dangerous. He wants me to meet him at Silk Hollow at two o’clock, and I know that means he’ll want me to cliff dive with him.”
Birdie’s face contorted with confusion. “No, he won’t. He probably wants you to meet him for a picnic so you can get past talking and do more kissing.”
“Trust me. He wants us to dive. Zev has always been a thrill seeker.”
“Then I’m totally confused. You once told me that he knew you better than anyone, but I can’t even get you to ride the mechanical bull because you’re afraid you’ll get hurt.”
“I know, but I wasn’t always that way. Remember when we first met and I told you I used to be adventurous?”
Birdie wrinkled her nose. “I’ve got to be honest. I thought you’d exaggerated. You were having such a hard time, I thought you were just trying to make yourself seem more…I don’t know. Fearless?”
“I didn’t exaggerate. I was a thrill seeker, too. But with Zev nothing seemed scary. He was full of confidence and always watching out for me, and that made me feel indestructible. But after Tory died and he left, I found out I wasn’t.”
A familiar wave of sadness moved through her. It had gotten far less painful over the years, but until now it had still possessed the power to drag her under. When that awful feeling didn’t come, she realized it was because she and Zev had finally confessed all of their heartaches and fears, their secrets and regrets, and their disappointments in themselves and in each other. She didn’t know if he was right or wrong thinking that she might have ended up hating who he was and changing who she was because of it if he had stayed in Pleasant Hill. They would never know for sure. But at least now she understood that he thought he’d been protecting her, and even though it hurt, that was who he’d always been. In fact, it was who they’d always been. Wasn’t that why she’d never tracked him down after the miscarriage? To protect him from pain that couldn’t change the outcome? With those realizations came a renewed sense of freedom. This time she didn’t feel as confused as she had just hours earlier. She felt an increased sense of wellness that she hadn’t known she was missing.
Were there other things she was missing that she wasn’t aware of? She thought about what Zev had said about the adventure seeker in her showing up last night at the park, and she wondered if he was right.
“Birdie, do you think it’s possible that I still have that thrill seeker in me?”
Birdie tapped the top of the extinguisher and said, “That’s a tough question, because a true thrill seeker would have been playing hide-and-seek between the sheets this morning with that gorgeous man who is doing everything possible to get your attention.”
Carly couldn’t stop a soft laugh from coming out and shook her head. “I’m being serious.”
“So was I,” Birdie exclaimed.
“Birdie!”
“Okay, fine. Did you really used to do all the things you told me you did when we first met?”
“Yes, and more. We went cliff diving, skydiving, parasailing…” Long-forgotten excitement bubbled up inside her as she rattled off the things she and Zev had done together. “We skied, hiked, camped out. We had bonfires on the beach and made up warrior dances in the moonlight. We were crazy.” She laughed and said, “There wasn’t much we didn’t do. During the summers we went on archaeological digs with the archaeology club to Mexico, Spain, Canada…”
“Wow, and I thought the days you wore your hair down instead of in braids or a ponytail, you were being adventurous.” Birdie waggled her finger and said, “Actually, you’ve worn your hair down for two days in a row. Yeah, I think you do have an adventurous spirit buried deep inside you somewhere. But listen, if you don’t want to go to the falls with Zev, I totally have your back. I’ll grab my bikini and take your place.”
“Can you stop, please?”
Birdie giggled. “But it’s so fun to tease you. You’re always so in control and organized. I like seeing you a little bit more of a hot mess like me. You should go to the falls. Have fun. Quinn will be here at five, so we’ve got the place covered.”
“Really?” She was getting more excited, and nervous, by the second. “There’s one other thing that worries me. Two, actually. You know how when you were a kid, you felt indestructible?”
“No, because I always had my brothers hovering over me like I’d break if someone looked at me wrong.”
“Well, I never had that, but I’m almost thirty, and I know the truth. No one is indestructible. I’ve kept up my deep-sea diving skills when I go home to visit in the warmer months, but—”
“You have? Well, thanks for cluing in your bestie. Maybe I would have liked to try that with you one day. Oh wait,” she said sarcastically. “I couldn’t have because I didn’t know you had those skills.”
“I’m sorry. It’s not like I was trying to hide it. I don’t go out on group
dives or anything. It’s just something I do for myself.” A way of holding on to my memories with Zev. Whoa. That came as a surprise, but she realized it was true. She and Zev really had opened some sort of vortex to her inner being.
“You’re forgiven. Go on, Little Miss Secret Keeper. I’m listening,” Birdie teased.
“Jumping off a cliff is different from deep-sea diving. I haven’t done it since I was a teenager, and it’s scarier now. Accidents happen all the time.”
“You sound like Doc. He’s always warning me about the dangers that surround us. He’s such a weirdo. He thinks I’ll get hurt crossing the street.” Birdie’s oldest brother, Seeley, went by the nickname Doc. He was a veterinarian, and though he was overprotective of Birdie, he was no less rambunctious than his brothers. “What are you really afraid of? Jumping or jumping and Zev not being there for you if you hit rock bottom?”
Carly froze. Way to bring her fear right up to the surface. She didn’t want to believe he’d do that to her again after everything they’d said last night, but how could she not worry about it? Protecting her heart had to be her number one priority. But part of that was getting more clarity. Gaining peace of mind by really getting to know him again so she could figure out if Zev would be true to his word and either put that worry to rest or put them to rest.
“Guess I hit that nail on the head,” Birdie said cheerily.
“I kind of hate you right now.” Carly grabbed the fire extinguisher and headed into the kitchen with Birdie trailing behind her. She put the fire extinguisher back in its place and headed into her office. Could she see him and still protect herself? She’d like to believe she could, but if her dream was any indication of what they were both capable of, she needed to keep a clear head. She needed guidelines, to establish rules of engagement. It was a good thing she’d become a planner, because if ever there was a time to plan, it was now.
“So…should I go home and grab my bikini, or are you going to throw caution to the wind and meet Zev?”
Carly snagged her bag from behind her door and walked past Birdie, back into the shop. “I’m going to meet him. But there will be no caution throwing today.” She stopped in the middle of the store. “Shoot. I just remembered I promised to get an estimate to the Rolfs for their daughter’s birthday.”
“I’ll do it! Don’t worry about anything. I’ll go through each of your lists and make sure everything is done. I promise. It makes me so happy that you’re going! You should wear your blue bikini, or the green one. Oh…I love that one.” Birdie crossed her arms, her brow furrowing in concentration. She pointed at Carly and said, “You know what? I have a good feeling about this. You should definitely wear the green bikini because green is the color of a four-leaf clover, which is good luck, and he sent you Lucky Charms and you got that email about the chocolate arriving on time to prep for the baby shower. That’s super lucky.”
Carly chuckled at Birdie’s ramblings. “I’m going now.”
“Okay! Green bikini! I’m counting on Zev charming you, you throwing caution to the wind, and you getting lucky!”
ON THE WAY to meet Zev, Carly devised her plan. Sure, the plan at the wedding hadn’t gone very well, but this was different. That initial shock of seeing him had worn off. Now the path was clear. Okay, not clear, clear. It was clouded with lust and about a million other emotions. But this time her plan was foolproof.
Zev was leaning against the side of Beau’s truck, looking through a magazine, when Carly arrived. He was shirtless, wearing only hiking boots and black swim trunks. He looked up, flashing his knee-weakening grin. Zev Braden fully dressed and flashing that grin was a force to be reckoned with. But shirtless, with all that tanned, toned flesh on display?
Hello, Wind, meet Caution.
He tossed the magazine in the truck, slung a backpack over his shoulder, and headed her way. “Hey, babe. I’m glad you made it,” he said, helping her out of her truck. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. “Mm. My favorite scent.”
“Nervousness?” she said teasingly.
“No. Carly Joanna Dylan. Nothing else comes close.” He swept one arm around her waist, pulling her against him, and Lord have mercy, he felt too good for words. “You’ve always smelled like summer sunshine and winter rain with a hint of lemons. The best of everything.”
“And you smell like trouble waiting to happen.”
“We like trouble. Remember?”
He dipped his head and kissed her neck, sending thrills skittering through her. It took everything she had to step from his arms. She put a hand on his chest to keep her distance, but he felt so good, she instantly regretted it. His wolfish smile told her he’d read her mind. She dropped her hand and said, “I have a feeling this is going to be a very trying day, so I need to set a few things straight.”
“Go for it. You’ve got my undivided attention. But before you ask about Bandit. I thought about bringing him, but I worried he’d run off while we’re cliff diving.”
“That was probably smart, but I could have watched him. I’m not diving.”
Confusion rose in his eyes. “What? You’re my dive partner. This was on our one-day list. I can’t dive without you.”
Her heart stumbled, but she’d promised herself she’d stick to her plan, so she said, “I haven’t jumped off a cliff since the last time we did it together. And FYI”—she poked his hard chest as she said each letter—“There will be no free falling into you today, either. I’m taking these six days as a gift. Six days for us to reminisce and have fun together with no expectations.”
“No expectations?”
“That’s right. I’m not putting my heart out there to get broken. I can’t, Zevy, and I know you can’t see it, but I’m fully prepared and wearing my virtual safety harness.”
He lowered his voice and said, “Is that code for chastity belt?”
She was fully aware of his uncanny ability to turn her on or completely disarm her in equal measure, and she loved that about him, which was why her answer came as easily as it did honestly. “I haven’t decided yet.”
He stepped closer, his body heat soaking through her clothes as he said, “As you wish, Carls.”
He reached for her hand, and when she took it, the contented look in his eyes felt like a sigh of relief. His hand was strong, his skin rough, making her acutely aware of the differences between the teen he’d been and the man he was. She stole a glance, admiring all his other manly parts, like his powerful biceps and thick, muscular thighs straining against the thin fabric of his swim trunks as they headed across the parking lot to the trailhead.
“You really aren’t going to jump with me?” he asked.
“We’ll see,” she said.
“You know I’ll never pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to.” A devilish spark glimmered in his eyes, and he said, “That was always your job. Maybe I’m the one who needs the chastity belt.”
“Shut up!” She bumped him with her shoulder, and he laughed so loud it made her laugh, too. Her cheeks burned with the memories of the first time they’d talked about having sex. She’d been the one to initiate it.
He leaned against her as they followed the narrow dirt trail up the hill and said, “I was so innocent. You corrupted me.”
“I did not.” They’d been in tenth grade, and they’d been going to third base for weeks. Every time they made out, they’d ended up rolling around, grinding against each other. She’d stroked him through his jeans, and one night she’d gotten the courage to give him a hand job. The pleasure in his eyes, the way his entire body flexed and shook, and the sounds he’d made were like a drug. From that moment on, going further was all she’d thought about. She’d even confided in Tory, who had been going all the way with Beau for months. Tory had shared with her other things she and Beau had done, and Carly had wanted to try it all. She wanted to taste him, to have him inside her, to have him taste her. One night when they were getting hot and heavy, she’d blurted out, Let’s do it. He’d gone sto
ck-still, a mixture of excitement and trepidation in his eyes. He’d asked her a hundred times if she was sure, and she’d loved that about him. They hadn’t had protection that night, and they’d had to wait a few days until he could steal a condom from Beau’s stash, but it had definitely been at her urging.
“Okay, we’ll pretend you didn’t push me into giving up my virginity,” he teased.
“You’re such a pain.”
“Yeah, but a good pain, right? Kind of like a great stretch after a long, hard night.”
She couldn’t help saying, “We had many long, hard nights.”
“I thought we weren’t talking about you taking advantage of me.”
She tried to glare at him, but they both laughed.
“All right, enough about you and your wicked ways.” Still holding her hand, he waved his other hand around them and said, “Look at this gorgeous place. You’ve got mountains and meadows and the clear blue sky. The air is so crisp and comfortable. It’s wild that you and Beau both ended up here. I don’t know if Beau ever mentioned this, but when he came here to help Char with the inn, he was about to move to LA. Char helped him heal, and the strange thing is, from what Char says, she came to Colorado to heal, too, after losing her parents. I’m starting to think that Colorado is like rehab. How did you end up here?”
“You have no idea how accurate your thoughts are. I never went back to college after I had the miscarriage. I was depressed and kind of lost. My aunt suggested I come here and help her in the chocolate shop, and my parents supported the idea. There were too many memories back home and at school, so I came out here and stayed with Marie. But it turned out that she and my mother had very specific plans for me, which I didn’t know about until I got here.” She gazed out at the trail before them, remembering how often she’d hiked there in the first few months after moving to Colorado, when she’d needed a place to clear her head. Though she’d never swam or dived at Silk Hollow, she knew the way by heart. The trail wound through tall grasses and over a hill, following a creek for about a mile before they’d come to the swimming hole.
Searching for Love (The Bradens & Montgomerys (Pleasant Hill - Oak Falls) Book 6) Page 10
