“Thank you, Dad.” I look down at the floor, trying to hide the tears flooding my eyes.
“Now,” he points a finger at Cole, “you break my daughter’s heart, and you’ll have hell to pay.”
Cole looks at me, and a rush of emotion hits me, stealing my breath with it. In that look I see it all. I see the two of us graduating. I see me walking down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. I see him holding our baby to his chest.
I never pictured that future before. I was so fucking blind.
Complacent.
Cole lights my world on fire. He terrifies me in the best way possible.
“You don’t have to worry about that, sir.”
My dad lets out a gruff noise. “Better not.”
“Dinner’s ready!” Allison calls out and the boys come barreling from the back of the house, running into the kitchen.
My dad shakes his head. “Those boys keep me on my toes like you did at that age.”
He reaches out, like he wants to hug me, but drops his arm. It breaks my heart a little because I put so much distance between us.
Cole, always in tune with my thoughts and feelings, grips my hand and gives it a squeeze.
The three of us join the others in the kitchen and Allison smiles. “Oh, I think maybe we’ve met before?” She squints, trying to place the man at my side.
Cole extends his hand to her. “I’m on the basketball team. I’m Cole.”
“Ah, yes, that makes sense. I hope you’re okay with meatloaf.”
“Anything is fine, ma’am.”
“Call me Allison.” She sets the loaf pan on the table and I grab the sides placing them around the table.
Sitting down beside Cole with my dad at the head of the table, Allison beside the baby, and my two brothers I’m struck by how far I’ve come since that first dinner. I no longer feel like a stranger here.
Conversation is easy throughout dinner and when it’s finished, I help Allison clean up before joining Cole in the playroom with my brothers. They’re showing him the zombie virtual reality game and I bust out laughing when the large man screams like a little girl and drops to the floor.
He shoves off the headset, breathing heavy. “You two are evil. That was scary.”
The little boys laugh and move on to their train track set.
Cole lifts his hand out to me. “Help me up?”
I give him my hand and he pulls me down on top of him. Both boys start laughing.
“Zoey fell!” Issy chortles.
“What are you doing?” I narrow my eyes on the man I’m lying on top of.
“Just wanted you close.” He sneaks a kiss to my forehead.
“Ew, they’re kissing,” Isaac shrieks at Gabriel and then they both dissolve into a rendition of Cole and me kissing in a tree.
When they’re done with their song neither of them can stop their uncontrollable giggles.
“You guys are the worst.” I tickle Issy and he shrieks for me to show him mercy.
Cole and I play with the boys for a while before I slip from the room, whispering to him that I’m going to find my dad.
I wander down the hall, dragging my fingers against the wall. I walk slow, stalling.
The door to his office is closed when I approach, and I knock hesitantly.
“Yes?” He calls.
Wrapping my hand around the brushed nickel knob I twist it open.
His eyes fill with surprise when he looks up to find me in the doorway. He takes his reading glasses off, setting them on the desk. “Are you getting ready to leave?”
I shake my head and close the door behind me, taking a seat on the leather couch across from his desk. I gather my legs beneath me, looking around at the framed photos and plaques on the wall. I still when I see one of me as a little girl, by a pond that was near the house I grew up in.
His eyes find where mine are glued and he smiles. “Do you remember the summer you kept trying to catch a tadpole?”
“And you kept telling me it would die? That we can’t trap the things we love and admire, we have to leave them be and watch them grow?”
He chuckles, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
“But when I finally caught one you didn’t make me put it back.” My voice grows soft, brows furrowed. “And then it died in the bowl. Why didn’t you have me put it back like you wanted me to?”
He rubs his jaw. “It was a lesson you needed to learn.”
“Is that what you’ve done all these years with me? Leave me alone and watch me grow?”
He inhales a breath, blowing it out in a heavy gust. “I couldn’t force you to forgive me, or even love me, Zoey. That was your battle to fight. Even these dinners, I couldn’t force you to come, but I wanted you to. I always wanted you. Your mom and I … we were young when we got married. We loved each other, a part of me will always love her, but we weren’t meant to last forever. But just because we stopped working, doesn’t mean I ever stopped loving you.” He stares at me, willing the words to sink into my skull. “You’re my daughter. My pride and joy. I will never,” his voice cracks as he gets choked up and my own tears start to fall, “forget the day they placed you in my arms. You’ll understand it one day, when you have your own kids, but nothing else compares to holding that precious life that’s half of you. All you want for your child is the best, even if the best isn’t you.”
“Daddy,” my voice cracks. I wipe at my damp cheeks. “It was never you. I didn’t realize that at the time. I was so hurt by you leaving. You were my … everything.” I shrug, more tears falling. “I felt like you didn’t love me. You weren’t only leaving Mom. You left me too.” He opens his mouth to respond but a hold up a hand for him to wait. “I know that isn’t true now. Believe me, I see things so differently now that I’m older, but when I was thirteen it felt like you didn’t love me anymore, so I punished you for it, and myself too.” Leaning forward on the couch, I continue, “I want you to know I’ve moved past all of that. I just want to … start fresh. I want to be your daughter again.”
He stands, coming around the front of the couch and crouching in front of me. “Zoey, honey,” he takes my damp cheeks in his hands, “you never stopped being my daughter. You are and you always will be my daughter. There’s no beginning or end to it.”
I dive into his arms, hugging him tight. I sob into his shirt, dampening the fabric. He only squeezes me harder.
“I love you, baby girl.”
“I know.” I inhale a shaky breath. “I know. I love you, too. Please forgive me.”
“Hey.” He pushes me away slightly. “There’s nothing for me to forgive. I mean it. We’re here now. That’s all that matters.” He pulls me in again and lets me cry it all out.
When I finally leave his office, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
“Hey.” Cole’s voice startles me in the dark hallway. “Are you okay?”
I rub at my swollen eyes. “I am now.” He’s rocking Rosie in his arms and dammit if my ovaries don’t do a somersault at the visual of him with a baby in his muscular arms.
Rein it in, I warn my ovaries. We don’t need any spawn yet, no matter how hot Cole would look as a dad.
“Allison is putting the boys to bed and this little one wanted her bottle.”
I rub Rose’s hair that’s grown long enough to put in the tiniest pigtails I’ve ever seen. “I think she likes you.” She has her small hand on his chest and her eyes are glued to his face.
“What can I say? I’m irresistible.”
“That’s definitely it.”
We sit down in the family room and he smiles at Rose. “Did you talk with your dad?”
“Yes. It was much needed.” I motion to my face, forcing a smile. “I’m sure I look fabulous now, but sometimes you have to cry it out.”
“You’re always beautiful.”
The way he looks at me, I know he means it, but I also feel it. I could look my absolute worst and all that man would have to do i
s look at me like that and I’d think I was the most beautiful woman in the world.
Allison’s feet sound on the stairs and she rounds into the family room looking a tad frazzled. “I’m so sorry about that,” she blurts, scooping the baby from his arms. “Time got away from me and she was fussy and—”
“It’s not a problem, really.”
She smiles gratefully at him. “Are you guys heading out?”
I stand. “Yeah, we should get going. I’m tired.”
“It was good to see you as always, Zoey. The boys are begging to go to another movie with you. And Cole, please come back any time.”
I give Allison a hug and she stiffens in surprise before hugging me back the best she can with Rose between us.
“I’d love to come again. If Zoey will have me.” Cole smiles in my direction.
“I haven’t gotten rid of you yet.” I roll my eyes playfully.
“Will you be spending Christmas with us?” Allison asks, taking me by surprise. “You’re welcome to spend the night here.”
“Oh.” My lips part with surprise. “I actually haven’t really thought about it. I’ve been so focused on finals, but yeah, of course I’ll be spending Christmas here.”
“Good and Cole if you don’t have plans with your family you’re welcome here too.”
“Thank you for the offer but I think my mom would whoop me if I missed Christmas.”
Allison laughs, rocking a sleepy Rose. “I understand. Drive safe you two.”
She heads for the stairs and Cole reaches for my hand. He looks down at our clasped palms for a moment, a reverent look on his face.
“What are you thinking?” Curiosity gets the best of me at his expression.
“Let’s go home.”
It doesn’t escape my notice that he avoids the question, but I reply with, “Okay,” anyway.
When we get back to the apartment I half-expect to find Teddy chilling on the couch but he’s not there.
“I’m tired.” I stifle a yawn, pressing a hand to my mouth.
“Me too.” He goes to the fridge and grabs two root beers and then a pack of my favorite Oreos. “Bed?”
“You’re speaking my language.” I waggle my brows.
Clasping the two bottles between his fingers on one hand, he holds the Oreos in the other and wraps that arm around my shoulders pulling me against his chest. Instead of saying anything he kisses me. It’s slow, sensual, and over too soon.
I mewl in protest and he chuckles as he releases me, walking down the hall to my room.
He flicks on the light and sets the drinks and cookies on the nightstand before taking off his clothes until he’s in nothing but his boxers. I do the same but change into a pair of sleep shorts and a loose tee.
We both climb into bed and I audibly sigh at how good it feels to be in my bed. I’m not one of those people who can sleep anywhere. I like my bed and my bed only. Especially when Cole is in it.
He passes me a root beer and I twist the cap off. He does the same, placing the Oreos between us in the bed where I peel back the wrapper.
I bite into a cookie, savoring the taste since I know my days with my favorite are limited. The carrot cake ones were nasty and since Cole and Teddy stocked me up, I haven’t bothered trying any other new flavors.
“I was engaged,” I blurt it out there, no take backs.
Cole’s head swings in my direction. “What?” A cookie is halfway to his mouth.
“My ex. We were engaged. Liza, the girl I was talking to in the coffee shop, she was my best friend. She’s who I caught him with.”
“Wow.” His full lips part. “That’s intense.”
“I wanted you to know that, since I never mentioned the engagement before. It really tore me up at the time, but I know now that I wasn’t losing some great love. I was comfortable with Todd, but there was no spark. The chemistry was lackluster.” I take a sip of my root beer and reach for his hand, entwining our fingers together. “I want you to know that I don’t carry that with me. I’ve let it go and I’ve moved on. You and I … this is different.”
His eyes soften. “Everything that happens to us, good and the bad, makes us who we are. I’m sorry you had to go through that heartbreak but I’m not sorry it brought you to me.”
Setting the bottle on the nightstand, I scootch closer to Cole, laying my head on his chest. He rubs his fingers against my scalp and I nearly purr at the sensation.
“Does it bother you that my dad’s your coach?” I whisper the worry that’s been buried in the back of my mind since the day he turned around in my dad’s office to find me standing there.
I thought for sure when he learned who I was that he’d run the other way, intimidated, but I should’ve known that Cole Anderson is anything but weak.
His fingers still. “At first, when I realized, I was pissed that you knew and didn’t say a word. But no, I’m not bothered by the fact he’s your dad. He’s a good coach and a good man. I mean,” his lips quirk, “he didn’t chase me out of his house when I showed up with you tonight.”
“True,” I giggle, tracing my fingers over the dips in his abdominal muscles. “We had a nice chat. It was much needed. Something we should’ve done a long time ago, but I wasn’t ready.”
“What happened with your mom? You don’t really talk about her.” His fingers move from my scalp to my neck, massaging at the soreness there.
“She got cancer. It was awful watching her wither away. She deserved more but I guess life had other plans. She would’ve liked you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” I think fondly over memories of my mother. “She was my best friend.”
“I wish she was still here.”
“Me too,” my voice cracks.
He moves, lying me on the bed as he hovers above me. “Please, don’t cry.”
“They’re good tears, I promise. It’s nice to think about her.”
He traces his index finger around my lips. “Do you look like her?”
I jerk my head. “I don’t know how, but I took more after her than my dad.”
Cole wipes away my tears with his thumbs. “Let it out, baby.”
And I do, letting him wrap his arms around me I cry out all the tears I’ve held in for way too long. I’m saying goodbye to every negative thing I’ve allowed to hold me back over the years.
This thing with Cole. I know it’s big. A fresh start. A second chance.
29
Cole
Cradling Zoey’s face in my hands I kiss her over and over. We’re protected by the side of her car since she drove me over to where the team bus is picking us up for an away game. For the first time ever, I’m having trouble leaving. I want to stay with her, talk about random shit, kiss her, make love to her.
“You need to go,” she murmurs against my lips.
“I know.” I kiss her again.
“Preferably before my dad comes to see what we’re doing.”
I groan, letting her go. “You’re right.”
“Good luck tonight. You guys are going to kick ass.”
“I wish you were going.”
Something flickers in her eyes, but she darts them to the ground. “Me too.”
I kiss her one last time and take a step back, so I’m not further tempted. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” she echoes, opening the driver’s door.
“I’ll call you tonight when I get back to the hotel.”
“Okay … if I don’t answer I’m probably still at work.”
I narrow my eyes. “We never work that late.”
“Or in the shower. You know, because I need to be clean.” She points toward the bus. “They’re calling for you. You better go.”
“Zoey—”
“Bye!” She closes the door.
That was fucking weird.
I watch her pull away, an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach but I can’t focus on it, not when I have to leave.
H
olding onto the straps of my backpack I climb aboard the bus, sitting down beside Shawn.
“’Sup, man?” He pulls out his earphone.
“Nothing much. What about you?” I settle my backpack between my feet, already cursing the tiny amount of space between seats. They were not made for any person over six-foot, that’s for sure.
“Nothing much. The kid’s been sick so that’s been rough, but nothing I can’t handle.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s just a cold. He’ll be up and running circles around me in no time. That boy has more energy than I’ve ever seen.”
I chuckle, thinking of Zoey’s brothers. “Most do.”
At the thought of her brothers, I think once more about her strange behavior before leaving me. It doesn’t make any sense. Zoey isn’t the secretive type, and I trust her, but I can’t deny the nagging feeling that something isn’t right.
The bus pulls out of the parking lot of the gym and from the front Coach starts going over stats and figures of the team we’re going up against. Harding University in Alabama is our biggest rival. We’re ranked neck and neck in just about every category from sports to academics.
Everything Coach is saying is something we’ve already discussed, and my brain immediately tunes him out. It’s early in the morning, barely after six, since we have a long bus ride ahead of us and I fight to keep my eyes open. Before I can doze off to sleep, I send a text to Teddy, asking him to check on Zoey today and make sure she’s okay.
Coach finishes his spiel and turns around to face the front.
Beside me Shawn pops his earbud back in and leans against the window.
Closing my eyes, I visualize the game ahead and the victory I so desperately want to cinch.
I run up and down the court, laser focused on the game. Every worry I had this morning is empty from my head.
Nice Guys Don't Win (A College Sport's Romance) Page 21
