by Stella Hart
When my eyes were heavy with kohl eyeliner and lashings of mascara, I took a deep breath and headed out to the bedroom. Nate had dimmed the lights slightly, and he was sitting on a chair by the window, looking at me with an appreciative gleam in his eyes. There was a distinct bulge in the front of his pants.
If things were different, this might seem like a romantic situation—low lights, a beautiful bed filled with soft, luxurious fabrics, and a hot man staring at me like he truly wanted to be with me. Instead, I was mere prey to him, and I’d be lucky if he even let me within five feet of the bed.
I was right. When I took another step, he rose from the chair and issued a command. “Get on all fours,” he said, eyes narrowing.
I did as he said without a word, slowly sinking to the ground and positioning myself on my hands and knees.
He stepped over to a cupboard on the other side of the room, and when he returned, he was holding a crimson rope and an item I recognized as a black spreader bar with silver cuffs.
He knelt down behind me and slid the bar between my legs, forcing them further apart before locking them into place. Then he commanded me to lift my chest up slightly and put my hands behind my back. He used the rope to tie them together, and I clenched my jaw, refusing to give him the satisfaction of hearing me cry out as the rough fabric bit into my wrists and chafed against my back.
“Are you ready yet?” he asked when I was completely immobilized, leaning down to pet my hair like I was a dog.
“Ready for what?” I said in a low voice. “For you to make me do whatever the hell you want like the sick, twisted animal you are?”
“I told you, I’m not going to do that.”
“I know you are, so just get it over with,” I muttered, staring down at the polished floor.
“No. I don’t need to force you. Not when you’re begging me to fuck you.”
“Do you see that happening?” I snapped, looking up at him. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”
I half-expected him to slap me in the face for my attitude, but he didn’t move. “Not yet, but it’ll happen,” he said, glancing at his watch. “All I have to do is wait for it.”
“You’re seriously delusional,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “You can wait forever. I’ll still never beg for you to fuck me.”
He didn’t respond to that. Just stared at me. A strange smile flickered around the corners of his mouth, and an ominous feeling slid up the back of my neck, making the little hairs there stand on end. Something was going on.
What was it? What had I missed?
Nate slowly unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it onto the bed before unbuckling his belt and sinking onto the floor behind me. A cool hand ran over my ass a second later, making me shiver as a jolt shot up my spine.
I teetered slightly, feeling as if the floorboards had just moved beneath my legs and arms. A dizzy sensation that had been lingering on my periphery since I stepped out of the bathroom began to rise and multiply inside me, pouring through me like a dam had broken somewhere deep within.
When it was milder, I’d taken the dizzy feeling as a symptom of dread over what was in store for me. Now I knew better.
“That juice wasn’t from Colette. You… you drugged me,” I murmured, blinking rapidly. Whatever he gave me had fuzzed my edges and muddled my mind.
Nate moved around to my front and tilted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “How are you feeling?” he asked, ignoring my previous statement.
The room suddenly seemed too bright despite the dim lighting, and everything seemed to be spinning and zipping past me too fast for me to register. A dull throb pulsed in my temples, and my body felt like it was overheating.
I blinked and steeled myself, resisting the urge to sway and fall over. “It’s still wrong, you know,” I whispered. “Fucking me while I’m unconscious doesn’t make it okay.”
“You won’t be unconscious.”
“Isn’t that what Roofies do?” I asked, blinking rapidly again. “Knock you out?”
“I didn’t Roofie you. I gave you some Eros.”
“What’s that?” I asked. There was a sudden itch inside me, getting worse by the second. It felt like something dead inside me had been set alight and was now crackling back to life.
“New party drug,” Nate told me. “It’s a mix of molly and bremelanotide.”
“What does it do?” I asked, voice barely above a whisper. Part of me had already figured it out. I just wanted to hear him say it.
“Makes you super fucking horny,” he replied. “I gave you a triple dose, so you’re probably feeling it pretty bad. Am I right?”
The itch was getting even worse now, screaming out for relief as it consumed me with raging white-hot desire.
I tried to squirm to alleviate the aching in my core, but I couldn’t move because of the rope and spreader bar. It was agonizing.
“Stop it,” I said, closing my eyes and trying to focus. I wouldn’t let myself become a hostage to this drug. I couldn’t. “Let me throw up. Please.”
“Too late. It’s already in your bloodstream, so there’s only one way to stop yourself from feeling like this,” Nate said. “You know what it is. But I won’t give it to you unless you beg for it like the filthy little whore you are.”
I let out a low moan. I needed to scratch the itch. Needed that sweet release. My nipples were so stiff they could cut glass, and I felt myself dripping between my thighs, pulsing and empty. Desperate and greedy.
“Oh, fuck,” I whispered, trying to move my body again. “Please, Nate…”
“Please what? Please fuck you?”
I winced at the thought. “No. Untie my hands.”
He let out a cruel laugh. “So you can touch yourself? I don’t think so, slut.”
I tried to push myself forward on the smooth floorboards so I could reach a velvet-topped ottoman that sat near the end of the bed. If I could somehow get it between my legs, I could rub myself on it until the itch was gone; fill myself with the blissful relief I so desperately craved. It was humiliating, but I no longer cared about that. All I cared about was coming.
Nate kicked the ottoman away and put a hand on my back, holding me in place.
“Please!” I begged, shaking my head as I fell deeper and deeper under the drug’s sinful, lecherous spell.
“Just ask me to fuck you, and I will,” Nate said, moving back around to my front to stare down at me.
My face burned, like his gaze alone had bathed my skin in liquid fire. “No!”
Nate let out another dark laugh. “You brought this on yourself, you know,” he said. “You thought you could use sex as a weapon against me the other day. Bet you didn’t think I could do the same, did you?”
“Fuck you,” I hissed, breathing deeply as I attempted to fill any cracks in my willpower. If I waited long enough, the drug would wear off. It had to.
“Maybe I should bring my Skulls brothers over after I’m done with you,” Nate mused, rubbing his jaw. “You’ll probably be wet and horny enough to take all of them. You can probably even take three at once. One in your mouth, one in your pussy, and one in your ass. What do you think?”
My whole body shuddered. It sounded amazing.
No, no, no! I silently screamed in my mind. Terrible. Excruciating. Degrading. That was what it sounded like. Not amazing.
I was almost unable to control my thoughts any longer. The chemically-induced lust was running rampant through my system, incinerating any logical thought and shredding every last bit of decency.
I hated Nate. Hated him.
“Listen to yourself,” I said raggedly. “Don’t you see what this has done to you?”
He raised a brow. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
I let out a sob as heat flooded through me again. “You wanted to catch a monster so badly that you became one yourself.”
Nate laughed. “How profound.”
I let out another sob, and he smirked as he looked down at the pathetic
wild creature I’d become. I rocked back and forth as much as I could in my restrained position, trying to get some friction somewhere to relieve my lusty mania.
“Please,” I begged. “Untie my hands. Just for a minute.”
His eyes turned stormy, and he ignored me and moved behind me again. I was caught off guard by a hard smack on my ass, followed by several more blows in quick succession.
I cried out, but not because of the stinging pain. The mere touch of Nate’s hand on my skin made stars supernova in my vision as my tightly-wound nerve endings exploded with pleasure. I wanted more. Needed more.
“Do you want more?” Nate asked in a low voice, somehow knowing exactly what I was thinking.
I gasped and quivered, oozing with need. “I—”
Before I could blurt out ‘yes’, I cut myself off. I couldn’t agree to it. Couldn’t degrade myself like this. I’d promised myself I would never beg this man for anything, and I’d also promised myself I wouldn’t have sex with him.
Almost immediately, I started rationalizing things in my lust-fogged brain.
This wasn’t sex. It was just a slap. Or a few slaps. It was fine. It didn’t have to lead to anything else, and it helped to scratch the unbearable itch inside me.
I pushed my ass back, seeking out Nate’s touch like an animal in heat. “Please,” I whispered. “Do it again.”
He brought his hand down on my ass, and a moan bubbled up my throat.
“More!” I gasped, cheeks flooding with heat.
Nate smacked me again, harder this time. “You’re not going to come from this,” he said.
It wasn’t an order. It was just a statement, and he was right. It wasn’t enough.
“Please, Nate,” I whimpered. “Help me.”
One hand moved between my legs, stroking my wet folds. When he pressed a finger right up to my soaking entrance, I quivered. As much as I didn’t want any part of him inside me, my body was demanding it. Screaming for it.
“You know what you have to do,” Nate said, his voice sinfully low. “It has to be your choice.”
“No. Don’t make me do it,” I begged. “Please.”
“I won’t make you do anything. It’s all up to you,” he replied, dragging his finger away from my entrance and trailing it down my thigh.
Another voice whispered through my core. More rationalization. Nate’s fingers inside me didn’t count. It wasn’t proper penetrative sex.
“Touch me,” I murmured, dropping my eyes to the floor in shame.
“Like this?”
The finger returned to my entrance, and I gasped as my blood boiled with lusty need. “Yes!”
Nate slipped the digit inside me, followed by another. My eyes squeezed shut as they moved in and out, painstakingly slowly. Torturing me. I was so wet, so desperate, so empty.
“You need more, don’t you?” Nate said, curling the fingers inside me until I jolted and gasped.
A sob wrenched itself from my mouth as I considered it. Yes, I needed more. But I couldn’t give in all the way. Couldn’t admit how badly I wanted to be fucked. I wanted it so much, and I felt like I might die if it didn’t happen, but I would lose every last shred of my dignity if I did.
You already slept with him once, a dark voice whispered in the back of my mind, trying to rationalize things yet again. What’s one more time?
“Yes,” I finally mumbled.
“Say it properly,” Nate commanded, sliding his fingers out of me. I heard his zipper go down, and I quaked as the tip of his cock slid up and down my folds.
“I… I can’t,” I whispered, still feeling a tiny shred of resistance.
“Then I can’t help you.” Nate’s cock moved away from me, and desperation coiled in my core, melting every last bit of my resolve.
I clenched my jaw. “Fuck me,” I said softly. “Please.”
“Are you sure you want that?” he asked, moving one hand around to slowly rub at my clit.
“Yes,” I whimpered. My body had gone from overheated to blazing. “Now. Please!”
I screamed when he entered me, eyes nearly rolling back in my head. He didn’t wait for me to adjust to his size. He began to mercilessly thrust right away, fucking me like he wanted to kill me. Savage and relentless.
An orgasm ripped through me as his hand came down on my ass in a vicious slap. It was just as violent as his thrusts, leaving me weak and boneless, and I felt my muscles spasming out of control, tightening on his length as he hammered into me.
“Fucking slut,” he muttered, slapping me again as I moaned and whimpered. “You just came from me hitting you.”
“Yes,” I gasped. “Again. Please.”
He wasted no time fulfilling my request. His hand rained down smack after brutal smack on my ass, and my lusty moans bounced off the walls as my voice rose to a fever pitch. One orgasm wasn’t enough to extinguish the fire in my belly. I needed more. So much more.
My muscles tightened up again when one of Nate’s hands went around my throat, squeezing hard. His other hand gripped my left hip, holding me steady as he pounded into me in long, punishing strokes. The frantic, keening noises spilling from my lips were shamefully loud, but I didn’t care who heard. I wouldn’t even care if we had an audience right now.
“Fuck…” Nate let out a low groan. “You feel so fucking good.”
His grip on my hips began to burn. I knew I would be covered in bruises tomorrow, but I didn’t care. Right now, the pain—just like everything else—felt fucking incredible.
All the air rushed out of my lungs as Nate slid deep inside me again. My nerves were taut and ready for me to explode. I was going to come again, and I still hadn’t touched my clit.
“More,” I moaned. “Fuck me harder. Please…”
“Greedy little slut.” Nate slid out of me, torturously slow, before plunging back in, driving his cock so deep it hurt.
I whimpered and gasped as pleasure ricocheted through me again and again.
I stopped counting after the fourth orgasm. Nate fucked me into a wet, quivering mess, slapping me, choking me, and tugging on my hair as his cock slammed in and out of me, burying itself to the hilt every time.
Sweat dripped down my face, mixing with tears of ecstasy. I couldn’t see myself, but I knew my cheeks were coated in black rivulets of mascara. It was exactly what Nate wanted.
He’d won our twisted battle, and I let him.
Worse, I loved every second of it.
My mind shattered along with my body as Nate sent me over the edge yet again, and my breath left me in a long, low moan. I’d never come so many times before. Never loved sex so much.
I tried to tell myself it was just the drugs, but deep down, I knew there was more to it than that. I felt it the first time I fucked Nate in the cell beneath Blackthorne, and I felt it again now; that tantalizing sensation of belonging to someone in the most primal way. Our bodies didn’t care how much we hated each other. All they cared about was putting out the fire that ignited whenever we touched.
By the time Nate was finally done with me, I’d lost all sense of time. All I knew was that the unbearable itch inside me had finally been scratched. My hunger had been sated.
He untied my aching wrists from behind my back and removed the spreader bar from between my ankles, letting me collapse to the hard floor. As I lay there, panting and trembling, the final waves of pleasure faded away, and shame rushed through me.
Nate detected the change in the air right away. He stood up straight and tapped my lower back with one foot, making me jerk onto my side.
“Tell me what happened here tonight,” he said, lips curving into a nasty smirk. “Tell me how bad you wanted it.”
“No,” I muttered. I tried to sit up so that I’d look bigger and braver, but my muscles were like jelly. Utterly useless.
Nate knelt in front of me, eyes glittering with a mixture of malice and amusement as his hands moved under my jaw. “Say it now, you stubborn little bitch.”
Regret and self-loathing knotted my belly. My chest felt hollow, and tears sprang to my eyes. “Please… don’t make me do it,” I sobbed. “You got what you wanted. Why isn’t that enough?”
“Because I want to hear you say the words,” he growled, fingers flexing around my throat. “Tell me the truth, Alexis, or I’ll make you regret it. Did you want it?”
I let out a long, shaky sigh. I didn’t have a choice. I had to tell the truth, and I had to do it now.
“Yes,” I said, my voice coming out in a choked whisper. “I wanted it.”
23
Alexis
Wincing, I rolled over on my bunk and rubbed my shins. They were covered in bruises, along with my knees and wrists. My insides ached and throbbed too; rubbed raw from the hour or so that Nate was behind me, savagely fucking me and tearing orgasm after orgasm out of me.
By my estimate, it had been at least twelve hours since it all happened, and the shame showed no signs of lessening. Every time I remembered how loudly I screamed and begged for more, I wanted to melt into the floor and disappear forever.
When I was younger, I always told myself that I was somehow built differently than other people who got into shitty situations. If I was ever drugged, I’d just breathe deeply and resist the effects. If I was ever tortured, I’d steel my jaw and take it all without giving in.
Of course, that sort of thinking was total bullshit; just a coping mechanism for life that millions of other people employed as well. We all told ourselves we were different and special, but when it came down to it, most of us were the same. Not strong enough to resist chemicals flooding our system, no matter how much we tried to fight it off. Not strong enough to resist giving in to torture.
The worst part of it was that I couldn’t really say that I didn’t consent. I was drugged, so it was a murky area, but I still asked for it. Nate made damn sure of that. Even if someone else told me that my consent was coerced due to the intoxication, I would have to disagree. Deep down, I knew the truth.
