Gold is very precious . . . and very valuable: Kintsugi is an expensive craft if one follows the proper process and uses real gold! It would be a shame to lose even a single milligram . . . Therefore the challenge is to recover the maximum amount of gold powder after its dispersal from the object, as well as from the work surface, to keep all one can for the next creation.
Sometimes in life it may also be necessary to collect our memories in order to take stock of every little ounce of happiness. There are two ways of doing this: First and foremost, by living every moment in a state of complete mindfulness and awareness to experience it to its fullest potential. This is the “live streaming,” in four dimensions and HD! Secondly, by noting it down somehow to preserve a trace of it, like a treasure. This is the “replay,” transmitting wonder and gratitude. All the positive psychology studies agree on this point: Being mindful of our everyday luck, we automatically increase our well-being.
This exercise can take various written or oral forms: a gratitude book, album of memories, diary, smartphone application, video, blog, social networking, letter or e-mail addressed to your “future self,” souvenir chest, scrapbook, thank-you prayer, computer listing . . . it’s for you to decide what suits you best!
Personally, I’ve kept a “positive journal” for the last ten years in which I note everything that I do each day, but always with a positive insight on things. It’s essential to carefully word one’s thoughts, because the brain registers the main message without paying too much attention to “details,” such as negative wording. So for instance if you write, “I didn’t have an accident,” your brain has the tendency to only retain the word “accident.”
I attach a photo taken of my family on January 1 to the cover of my positive journal. On the first few pages, I write down my mantra of the moment and my projects for the year, so I can evaluate my annual progress. Every single day, I write down all the positive things that happened—whether big or small joys. This may range from “taking a bath by candlelight” to “getting acquainted with my daughter” on the day I gave birth to her! This is a very interesting exercise, because given a certain amount of time, it programs our brain to perceive what happens around us as positive (the famous “glass half full”), allowing us to tackle our challenges with greater ease. In this manner, even when my world collapsed around me on the day I learned that I was getting divorced, I found the strength to write positive entries in my journal, and only positive ones. The brain is like a muscle you train: Adding strength to one’s positive thoughts, lifting them up to be more joyful, is preferable to giving in to lower vibrations.
This is also a great way to gather your memories, so you can revisit them with pleasure when needed. I do the same daily exercise for my two daughters, noting every day in their personalized positive journals their joys, their first times, and their progress since the day they were born. It’s a good way to share and communicate with them until someday they write their own positive journal.
You too like a squirrel preparing for winter can collect a good reserve of memories, gather bursts of laughter, and store some seeds of joy! You can enjoy these when you feel blue. Treasure the gold of your life!
The Symbolism of Gold
Kintsugi can be practiced using any kind of metal: gold, silver, copper, or brass . . . But it’s gold that’s universally acclaimed. It has a symbolic value established for thousands of years and is venerated by almost all civilizations as the most precious metal and as a general measure of exchange.
Its physical qualities are important: It is unalterable, hypoallergenic, and an excellent thermal and electrical conductor. Furthermore, it is easy to transform or polish, whether into threads as thin as hair or into a thin sheet (1/10,000 of a millimeter) that is almost translucent.
But its aura goes well beyond its physical properties. Gold is as luminous as a burst of sunlight . . . With its cosmic origin, it is sacred and worshipped, representing total knowledge, purity, spirituality, and perfection. These symbols and messages are found in a lot of examples. For instance, consider the symbolism of the gold medal, regarded as the highest reward in sport; the golden age, which represents the height of a civilization; the golden crown of a king, which is supposed to channel divine energy; the mythological golden apple, object of all desire . . . And also gold is featured in the golden halos of saint icons, the golden ring of fairy tales and unions, the golden sickle of the druids to cut the holy mistletoe, the Golden Fleece, the golden eggs laid by a magical goose, the alchemy experiments, the golden Buddha statues . . .
What About You?
Do you live every moment in HD, streaming live? What if you lived in total awareness, treasuring each moment and each souvenir as gold in your life?
It’s Time to Act!
The Treasures of Your Life
Plan ahead and create for yourself a survival kit! One day when you feel particularly good and full of energy, collect together all of your best souvenirs and all the best things you’ve done. Put them in order to create a real “treasure chest.” For example it might include the following:
A list of your favorite music
A DVD of your best “feel-good” movie
A sample of a perfume that inspires joyful memories
A soft blanket
A delicious snack
A perfumed tea bag
A movie ticket to give yourself a moment of relaxation
A list of great addresses to escape to
A toy from your childhood
A book you adore
A recipe for your favorite meal
A snow globe
A decorative object you love
A comic book that makes you laugh
A picture that moves you
A reproduction of your favorite painting
A photo album of good memories
A lucky charm
A list of stimulating activities
A list of compliments
A beautiful letter that you write to yourself
A beautiful letter you received some time ago
Bath salts or oils
Glitter and confetti
Beautiful postcards with positive messages
A notebook for writing and drawing
A lovely poem or haiku
A security blanket . . .
Put together all the things that make you feel good and appeal to all five of your senses. After all, who knows you better than yourself? This will be a “lucky dip,” preciously guarded to open only in case of emergencies . . .
Go Further . . .
Thanksgiving is not just about eating turkey and pumpkin pie! But it’s about everyone expressing individually those things in their lives that they are most grateful for. What if you were to introduce this little ritual to your family for everyone to express his or her gratitude on a daily basis?
Start Here and Now!
Choose your first memory and put it in your treasure chest!
EMERGE
It is by believing in roses that you make them bloom.
—Anatole France
Once the lacquer has dried, use a silk cotton ball to gently remove any excess gold powder.
Finally, the key moment. The time has come for the object to emerge fully cured and magnificent, revealing itself in all its splendor. Its life lines are now sublimated with gold. This process has provided the opportunity for transformation. The object has healed, transmuted its injuries, and re-created itself. Even more beautiful, more unique, more precious for having been injured . . .
I too have the feeling that I am about to emerge and bloom. I feel that I am on the right path, because lately my friends and family have told me that I seem younger than before. It’s like I have been liberated from a heavy load, as if I have eliminated a layer of anger, a layer of sadn
ess, a layer of fear, a layer of stress, a layer of denial, and have finally emerged. I do have emotional scars, but I am more alive than ever before, with a smooth forehead and more relaxed features. Peace and quiet after the storm . . . Even my wrinkles are less noticeable! I often surprise myself with a smile on my lips, even in the middle of a traffic jam.
For you too, this may well be the time to bloom. You have taken all this time and all this energy to get over your injuries, you took care of yourself like a precious object deserving all the gold of this world. It’s the moment to be reborn and reveal yourself!
From Lip Balm to Heart Balm
The socio-aesthetic therapy helps those people having the greatest need to reveal themselves.
This discipline appears to be superficial, but in fact it deeply touches the soul: With makeup, personal care, and being well-dressed, such people will finally rediscover their self-esteem. Finally, they are no longer invisible. Finally, they can look at themselves in the mirror, because they are worth it.
Consider for instance a famous Los Angeles hairdresser who usually charges thousands of dollars for every haircut but who also offers homeless people makeovers free of charge: By doing so, he gives them faith in life and new confidence. Or those beauticians who give people in prison some of their humanity back, by simply offering to care for them. Or those associations that provide new outfits to job seekers for interviews: It goes way beyond just a new look. Or those beauticians, who go to retirement homes to offer makeup and hair styling to elderly people, giving them the desire to smile again. Or those practitioners offering massages and aesthetic care to hospitalized people, to assist them in accepting their new bodies, sometimes transformed by their illnesses or injuries . . .
It’s a noble discipline: It supports and accompanies people during their difficult challenges and their metamorphoses.
What About You?
After all your ordeals, do you feel that the moment has come to reveal yourself in all of your splendor, to be reborn?
It’s Time to Act!
The Fresh Start
This stage needs to be highlighted and celebrated! When you feel that the moment has come, I invite you to enjoy your fresh start with a personal ceremony. Celebrate yourself, you are so worth it!
Some people mark the occasion with their family and friends, for instance when they get divorced. Here I suggest you make this a more personal and private celebration.
Clean up and tidy your home, prepare yourself a delicious meal, buy yourself some flowers, wear a beautiful outfit, choose some inspiring music, put some perfume or cologne on yourself as if you were going on a special date. And in fact that is what you are doing here: having a meeting with your new self!
Close your eyes and visualize your rebirth. Imagine that you are a butterfly on the verge of its metamorphosis, coming out of its chrysalis. That cocoon you are leaving behind represents all of your ordeals, all of your injuries, whether they are emotional or physical. You have consciously decided to leave all of your suffering behind. Look at that shapeless pile. It is now in the past. You’re out of here. For the first time, you see the light; for the first time, you see clearly.
Gently and cautiously, try out your golden wings. Let them flutter in the wind. Spread them out in the sun so they can catch a ray of sunshine and sparkle. Take off, flying toward your new life . . .
Savor this new sensation for several minutes until it becomes well-grounded inside you.
Then taste that delicious meal you prepared for yourself.
Go Further . . .
To remember the moment, add a souvenir to this ceremony: a gift to yourself, a new outfit, a new object, a piece of music, a new perfume. It will become the symbol of your new departure. For example, after each divorce, I sold my wedding ring and offered myself a significant present to remind myself of my strengths and my survival: an indirect gesture to transform my gold into healing, in the kintsugi spirit.
Start Here and Now!
Arrange for a date with yourself by writing down the day and time of your fresh start ceremony.
Protect
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
—Haruki Murakami
To protect the golden joints, apply a fine layer of protective lacquer. After five minutes, gently dab the joints. Then let the object dry for twenty-four hours.
The gold should be covered by a thin layer of lacquer so it can be protected and preserve its glow. Even after the last stage has been finalized, one needs to treat the object with care: It’s recommended not to use the object for several months in order to protect its fresh repair. Consider the object to be still convalescent; the lacquer is a living product and will continue to harden, like bones tend to consolidate after having been set. In this manner the object reinforces its newfound strength over time.
Like in the art of Kintsugi, you too should protect yourself. You were just reborn. Your injuries just finished healing. It’s important not to open them imprudently. In order to avoid a relapse, avoid harmful influences, negative judgments, bad vibes, or general pessimism.
For example, why should you suffer daily depressing news? Or listen to a friend on the phone complaining for hours without taking any interest in you? Or attend a family dinner during which your life choices will be dissected and criticized?
Don’t agree to an invitation from people you don’t particularly care for. Don’t fill your agenda with too many obligations. Don’t feel obliged when nothing or nobody can force you . . . it’s the fastest way to a relapse.
Some people, without even realizing it, literally put negative pressure on you. Like “energy vampires,” they feed from your good vibes, your smile, and your goodwill. The better you feel, the more they resent it. With small and disagreeable remarks, scathing wit, “innocent” small quips, passive-aggressive remarks, or emotional blackmail, they can leave you lifeless, exhausted, bled dry, with a heavy guilt feeling, without even understanding what just happened. They might say things like: “Oh, you are always so lucky!” “After everything I have done for you . . .” “If you do that, I won’t love you anymore.” “You have no idea what just happened to me again . . .” Sometimes just their presence, filled with the negative emotions of past events, may drain all your energy! Like content leeches, they let go to return to their own lives, but at your expense. Beware, sometimes one can even be an energy vampire without even realizing it. For example, it was mostly my mother who was “vampirizing” me. After spending time with her, I was always completely exhausted, even when everything went well between us. It took me three days to recover from family celebrations! Imagine how I was feeling when I moved into the apartment across the hall. A true example of badly cut apron strings!
Having just overcome your injuries, it’s essential that you protect yourself against anything that might get you down, such as negative people draining your energy, malignant narcissists, generalized depression, psychological attacks, depressing information, false duties, gloom, ugliness, mediocrity, and general pettiness . . .
Create a protective wellness cocoon around yourself. Surround yourself with caring and happy people, beautiful objects, soft blankets, soothing music, and bright colors. Fill your day with smiles and laughter, good news, positive vibes, the beauty of nature . . .
Have the courage to break free and to say “No” to protect your glow or preserve yourself. Never ever again accept the unacceptable.
The Seven Kamis of Fortune
Japanese Shinto (“divine path”) is not a religion but rather a spiritual practice in search of harmony, truth, and peace, through which one connects with the divine aspect of nature’s purity and universality. This kind of animism personifies nature’s energy, as well as ancestors, or ancestral mythology, in the form of spirits: the kamis.
To translate kami as “god” is somewhat simplistic and may confuse Westerner
s. It is more of an energy or a spirit. Japanese tradition has an incalculable number of kamis. There may be as many as eight million, a number that symbolizes infinity. You’re perhaps already familiar with a famous kami called Totoro!
Among the most popular kamis are the seven kamis of fortune (shichi fukujin), one woman and six men:
Benzaiten , kami of arts, eloquence, wisdom, science, and beauty
Bishamonten, kami of war and prosperity
Daikokuten, kami of wealth, household, and kitchen
Ebisu, kami of fishermen, merchants, honest work, and prosperity
Fukurokuju, kami of longevity, wealth, fertility, virility, and wisdom
Hotei, kami of abundance, good health, contentment, and commerce
Jurojin, kami of longevity and prosperity
It’s believed that these seven kamis of fortune arrive on earth each December 31 in their boat to distribute happiness, luck, and gifts to good people. That evening Japanese children put a symbol of the kamis’ boat under their pillows, in order to benefit from their protection throughout the year.
What About You?
Do you know how to say NO? Do you know how to protect yourself against bad vibes or people who drain your energy? What if you learned how to protect yourself in order to maintain your balance and your vibrancy?
It’s Time to Act!
The Altar for Protection
In their homes, Japanese Shinto believers set up a small altar for protection, called kamidana (“spirit shelf”). It’s a place to put ancestors’ pictures, candles, offerings . . . It also has a removable shutter for hiding objects representing secret wishes, like photographs and other things. Whatever your beliefs may be, you can create a personal, small altar for protection in the same spirit.
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