Her daughters respectively reveled in the pretty diminutives of A, I,and O; which, from their brevity, comical to tell, were consideredequally genteel with the dame's.
The habiliments of the three Vowels must not be omitted. Each damselgarrisoned an ample, circular farthingale of canes, serving as theframe-work, whereon to display a gayly dyed robe. Perhaps their charmsintrenched themselves in these impregnable petticoats, as feeblearmies fly to fortresses, to hide their weakness, and better resist anonset.
But polite and politic it is, to propitiate your hostess. So seatinghimself by the Begum, Taji led off with earnest inquiries after herwelfare. But the Begum was one of those, who relieve the diffidentfrom the embarrassment of talking; all by themselves carrying onconversation for two. Hence, no wonder that my Lady was esteemedinvaluable at all assemblies in the groves of Pimminee; contributingso largely to that incessant din, which is held the best test of theenjoyment of the company, as making them deaf to the general nonsense,otherwise audible.
Learning that Taji had been making the tour of certain islands inMardi, the Begum was surprised that he could have thus hazarded hislife among the barbarians of the East. She desired to know whether hisconstitution was not impaired by inhaling the unrefined atmosphere ofthose remote and barbarous regions. For her part, the mere thought ofit made her faint in her innermost citadel; nor went she ever abroadwith the wind at East, dreading the contagion which might lurk in theair.
Upon accosting the three damsels, Taji very soon discovered that thetongue which had languished in the presence of the Begum, was nowcalled into active requisition, to entertain the Polysyllables, herdaughters. So assiduously were they occupied in silent endeavors tolook sentimental and pretty, that it proved no easy task to sustainwith them an ordinary chat. In this dilemma, Taji diffused not hisremarks among all three; but discreetly centered them upon O. Thinkingshe might be curious concerning the sun, he made some remote allusionto that luminary as the place of his nativity. Upon which, O inquiredwhere that country was, of which mention was made.
"Some distance from here; in the air above; the sun that gives lightto Pimminee, and Mardi at large."
She replied, that if that were the case, she had never beheld it; forsuch was the construction of her farthingale, that her head could notbe thrown back, without impairing its set. Wherefore, she had alwaysabstained from astronomical investigations.
Hereupon, rude Mohi laughed out. And that lucky laugh happily relievedTaji from all further necessity of entertaining the Vowels. For at sovulgar, and in Pimminee, so unwonted a sound, as a genuine laugh, thethree startled nymphs fainted away in a row, their round farthingalesfalling over upon each other, like a file of empty tierces. But theypresently revived.
Meanwhile, without stirring from their mats, the polite young bucks inthe aigulettes did nothing but hold semi-transparent leaves to theireyes, by the stems; which leaves they directed downward, toward thedisordered hems of the farthingales; in wait, perhaps, for therevelation of an ankle, and its accompaniments. What the precise useof these leaves could have been, it would be hard to say, especiallyas the observers invariably peeped over and under them.
The calamity of the Vowels was soon followed by the breaking up of theparty; when, evening coming on, and feeling much wearied with thelabor of seeing company in Pimminee, we retired to our mats; therefinding that repose which ever awaits the fatigued.
CHAPTER XXVIA Reception Day At Pimminee
Next morning, Nimni apprized us, that throughout the day he proposedkeeping open house, for the purpose of enabling us to behold whateverof beauty, rank, and fashion, Pimminee could boast; including certainstrangers of note from various quarters of the lagoon, who doubtlesswould honor themselves with a call.
As inmates of the mansion, we unexpectedly had a rare opportunity ofwitnessing the final toilets of the Begum and her daughters,preparatory to receiving their guests.
Their four farthingales were placed standing in the middle of thedwelling; when their future inmates, arrayed in rudimental vestments,went round and round them, attaching various articles of finery, dyedscarfs, ivory trinkets, and other decorations. Upon the propriety ofthis or that adornment, the three Vowels now and then pondered apart,or together consulted. They talked and they laughed; they were silentand sad; now merry at their bravery; now pensive at the thought of thecharms to be hidden.
It was O who presently suggested the expediency of an artful fold intheir draperies, by the merest accident in Mardi, to reveal atantalizing glimpse of their ankles, which were thought to be pretty.
But the old Begum was more active than any; by far the mostdisinterested in the matter of advice. Her great object seemed to beto pile on the finery at all hazards; and she pointed out many as yetvacant and unappropriated spaces, highly susceptible of adornment.
At last, all was in readiness; when, taking a valedictory glance, attheir intrenchments, the Begum and damsels simultaneously dipped theirheads, directly after emerging from the summit, all ready for execution.
And now to describe the general reception that followed. In came theRoes, the Fees, the Lol-Lols, the Hummee-Hums, the Bidi-Bidies, andthe Dedidums; the Peenees, the Yamoyamees, the Karkies, the Fanfums,the Diddledees, and the Fiddlefies; in a word, all the aristocracy ofPimminee; people with exceedingly short names; and some all name, andnothing else. It was an imposing array of sounds; a circulation ofciphers; a marshaling of tappas; a getting together of grimaces andfurbelows; a masquerade of vapidities.
Among the crowd was a bustling somebody, one Gaddi, arrayed in muchapparel to little purpose; who, singling out Babbalanja, for some timeadhered to his side, and with excessive complaisance, enlightened himas to the people assembled.
"_That_ is rich Marmonora, accounted a mighty man in Pimminee; hisbags of teeth included, he is said to weigh upwards of fourteen stone;and is much sought after by tailors for his measure, being but slenderin the region of the heart. His riches are great. And that old vrow isthe widow Roo; very rich; plenty of teeth; but has none in her head.And _this_ is Finfi; said to be not very rich, and a maid. Who wouldsuppose she had ever beat tappa for a living?"
And so saying, Gaddi sauntered off; his place by Babbalanja's sidebeing immediately supplied by the damsel Finfi. That vivacious andamiable nymph at once proceeded to point out the company, where Gaddihad left off; beginning with Gaddi himself, who, she insinuated, was amere parvenu, a terrible infliction upon society, and not near so richas he was imagined to be.
Soon we were accosted by one Nonno, a sour, saturnine personage. "Iknow nobody here; not a soul have I seen before; I wonder who they allare." And just then he was familiarly nodded to by nine worthiesabreast. Whereupon Nonno vanished. But after going the rounds of thecompany, and paying court to many, he again sauntered by Babbalanja,saying, "Nobody, nobody; nobody but nobodies; I see nobody I know."
Advancing, Nimni now introduced many strangers of distinction,parading their titles after a fashion, plainly signifying that he wasbent upon convincing us, that there were people present at this littleaffair of his, who were men of vast reputation; and that we erred, ifwe deemed him unaccustomed to the society of the illustrious.
But not a few of his magnates seemed shy of Media and their laurels.Especially a tall robustuous fellow, with a terrible javelin in hishand, much notched and splintered, as if it had dealt many a thrust.His left arm was gallanted in a sling, and there was a patch upon hissinister eye. Him Nimni made known as a famous captain, from KingPiko's island (of which anon) who had been all but mortally woundedsomewhere, in a late desperate though nameless encounter.
"Ah," said Media as this redoubtable withdrew, Fofi is a cunningknave; a braggart, driven forth, by King Piko for his cowardice. Hehas blent his tattooing into one mass of blue, and thus disguised,must have palmed himself off here in Pimminee, for the man he is not.But I see many more like him."
"Oh ye Tapparians," said Babbalanja, "none so easily humbugged ashumbugs. Taji: to behold this folly makes one
wise. Look, look; it isall round us. Oh Pimminee, Pimminee!"
CHAPTER XXVIIBabbalanja Falleth Upon Pimminee Tooth And Nail
The levee over, waiving further civilities, we took courteus leave ofthe Begum and Nimni, and proceeding to the beach, very soon wereembarked.
When all were pleasantly seated beneath the canopy, pipes in fullblast, calabashes revolving, and the paddlers quietly urging us along,Media proposed that, for the benefit of the company, some one present,in a pithy, whiffy sentence or two, should sum up the character of theTapparians; and ended by nominating Babbalanja to that office.
"Come, philosopher: let us see in how few syllables you can put thebrand on those Tapparians."
"Pardon me, my lord, but you must permit me to ponder awhile; nothingrequires more time, than to be brief. An example: they say that inconversation old Bardianna dealt in nothing but trisyllabic sentences.His talk was thunder peals: sounding reports, but long intervals."
"The devil take old Bardianna. And would that the grave-digger hadburied his Ponderings, along with his other remains. Can none be inyour company, Babbalanja, but you must perforce make them hob-a-nobwith that old prater? A brand for the Tapparians! that is what we seek."
"You shall have it, my lord. Full to the brim of themselves, for thatreason, the Tapparians are the emptiest of mortals."
"A good blow and well planted, Babbalanja."
"In sooth, a most excellent saying; it should be carved upon histombstone," said Mohi, slowly withdrawing his pipe.
"What! would you have my epitaph read thus:--'Here lies the emptiestof mortals, who was full of himself?' At best, your words areexceedingly ambiguous, Mohi."
"Now have I the philosopher," cried Yoomy, with glee. "What did someone say to me, not long since, Babbalanja, when in the matter of thatsleepy song of mine, Braid-Beard bestowed upon me an equivocalcompliment? Was I not told to wrest commendation from it, though Itortured it to the quick?"
"Take thy own pills, philosopher," said Mohi.
"Then would he be a great original," said Media.
"Tell me, Yoomy," said Babbalanja, "are you not in fault? Because Isometimes speak wisely, you must not imagine that I should always actso."
"I never imagined that," said Yoomy, "and, if I did, the truth wouldbelie me. It is you who are in fault, Babbalanja; not I, craving yourpardon."
"The minstrel's sides are all edges to-day," said Media.
"This, then, thrice gentle Yoomy, is what I would say;" resumedBabbalanja, "that since we philosophers bestow so much wisdom uponothers, it is not to be wondered at, if now and then we find what isleft in us too small for our necessities. It is from our veryabundance that we want."
"And from the fool's poverty," said Media, "that he is opulent; forhis very simplicity, is sometimes of more account than the wisdom ofthe sage. But we were discoursing of the Tapparians. Babbalanja:sententiously you have acquitted yourself to admiration; now amplify,and tell us more of the people of Pimminee."
"My lord, I might amplify forever."
"Then, my worshipful lord, let him not begin," interposed Braid-Beard.
"I mean," said Babbalanja, "that all subjects are inexhaustible,however trivial; as the mathematical point, put in motion, is capableof being produced into an infinite line."
"But forever extending into nothing," said Media. "A very bad exampleto follow. Do you, Babbalanja, come to the point, and not travel offwith it, which is too much your wont."
"Since my lord insists upon it then, thus much for the Tapparians,though but a thought or two of many in reserve. They ignore the restof Mardi, while they themselves are but a rumor in the isles of theEast; where the business of living and dying goes on with the sameuniformity, as if there were no Tapparians in existence. They thinkthemselves Mardi in full; whereas, by the mass, they are stared at asprodigies; exceptions to the law, ordaining that no Mardian shallundertake to live, unless he set out with at least the averagequantity of brains. For these Tapparians have no brains. In lieu, theycarry in one corner of their craniums, a drop or two of attar ofroses; charily used, the supply being small. They are the victims oftwo incurable maladies: stone in the heart, and ossification of thehead. They are full of fripperies, fopperies, and finesses; knowingnot, that nature should be the model of art. Yet, they might appearless silly than they do, were they content to be the plain idiotswhich at bottom they are. For there be grains of sense in a simpleton,so long as he be natural. But what can be expected from them? They areirreclaimable Tapparians; not so much fools by contrivance of theirown, as by an express, though inscrutable decree of Oro's. For one, mylord, I can not abide them."
Nor could Taji.
In Pimminee were no hilarious running and shouting: none of the royalgood cheer of old Borabolla; none of the mysteries of Maramma; none ofthe sentiment and romance of Donjalolo; no rehearsing of old legends:no singing of old songs; no life; no jolly commotion: in short, no menand women; nothing but their integuments; stiff trains andfarthingales.
CHAPTER XXVIIIBabbalanja Regales The Company With Some Sandwiches
It was night. But the moon was brilliant, far and near illuminatingthe lagoon.
Over silvery billows we glided.
"Come Yoomy," said Media, "moonlight and music for aye--a song! asong! my bird of paradise."
And folding his arms, and watching the sparkling waters, thus Yoomysang:--
A ray of the moon on the dancing waves Is the step, light step of that beautiful maid: Mardi, with music, her footfall paves, And her voice, no voice, but a song in the glade.
"Hold!" cried Media, "yonder is a curious rock. It looks black as awhale's hump in blue water, when the sun shines."
"That must be the Isle of Fossils," said Mohi. "Ay, my lord, it is."
"Let us land, then," said Babbalanja.
And none dissenting, the canoes were put about, and presently wedebarked.
It was a dome-like surface, here and there fringed with ferns,sprouting from clefts. But at every tide the thin soil seemedgradually washing into the lagoon.
Like antique tablets, the smoother parts were molded in strangedevices:--Luxor marks, Tadmor ciphers, Palenque inscriptions. In longlines, as on Denderah's architraves, were bas-reliefs of beetles,turtles, ant-eaters, armadilloes, guanos, serpents, tonguelesscrocodiles:--a long procession, frosted and crystalized in stone, andsilvered by the moon.
"Strange sight!" cried Media. "Speak, antiquarian Mohi."
But the chronicler was twitching his antiquarian beard, nonplussed bythese wondrous records. The cowled old father, Piaggi, bending overhis calcined Herculanean manuscripts, looked not more at fault thanhe.
Said Media, "Expound you, then, sage Babbalanja." Muffling his face inhis mantle, and his voice in sepulchral tones, Babbalanja thus:--
"These are the leaves of the book of Oro. Here we read how worlds aremade; here read the rise and fall of Nature's kingdoms. From wherethis old man's furthest histories start, these unbeginning recordsend. These are the secret memoirs of times past; whose evidence, atlast divulged, gives the grim lie to Mohi's gossipings, and makes arattling among the dry-bone relics of old Maramma."
Braid-Beard's old eyes flashed fire. With bristling beard, he cried,"Take back the lie you send!"
"Peace! everlasting foes," cried Media, interposing, with both armsoutstretched. "Philosopher, probe not too deep. All you say is veryfine, but very dark. I would know something more precise. But,prithee, ghost, unmuffle! chatter no more! wait till you're buried forthat."
"Ay, death's cold ague will set us all shivering, my lord. We'll swearour teeth are icicles."
"Will you quit driving your sleet upon us? have done expound theserocks."
"My lord, if you desire, I'll turn over these stone tablets tillthey're dog-eared."
"Heaven and Mardi!--Go on, Babbalanja."
"'Twas thus. These were tombs burst open by volcanic throes; andhither hurled from the lowermost vaults of the lagoon. All Mardi'srocks are one wide resur
rection. But look. Here, now, a pretty story'stold. Ah, little thought these grand old lords, that lived and roaredbefore the flood, that they would come to this. Here, King Media, lookand learn."
He looked; and saw a picture petrified, and plain as any on thepediments of Petra.
It seemed a stately banquet of the dead, where lords in skeletons wereranged around a board heaped up with fossil fruits, and flanked withvitreous vases, grinning like empty skulls. There they sat, exchangingrigid courtesies. One's hand was on his stony heart; his other pledgeda lord who held a hollow beaker. Another sat, with earnest facebeneath a mitred brow. He seemed to whisper in the ear of one wholistened trustingly. But on the chest of him who wore the miter, anadder lay, close-coiled in flint.
At the further end, was raised a throne, its canopy surmounted by acrown, in which now rested the likeness of a raven on an egg.
The throne was void. But half-concealed by drapery, behind thegoodliest lord, sideway leaned a figure diademed, a lifted poniard inits hand:--a monarch fossilized in very act of murdering his guest.
"Most high and sacred majesty!" cried Babbalanja, bowing to his feet.
While all stood gazing on this sight, there came two servitors ofMedia's, who besought of Babbalanja to settle a dispute, concerningcertain tracings upon the islet's other side.
Thither we followed them.
Upon a long layer of the slaty stone were marks of ripplings of somenow waveless sea; mid which were tri-toed footprints of some hugeheron, or wading fowl.
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