by Phil Gabriel
“Post?” I asked in bewilderment. “What post?”
She held a tablet in front of my face and punched a stylized lowercase “t” icon. The app opened to a home-screen of an app called “Tailbook,” apparently, a social media site for kitsune. Scrolling quickly through her sister, Natsumi’s, timeline, I saw a series of very unflattering photos of myself. The one of me, face down on the bed, with my naked ass hiked up in the air, was the most embarrassing.
The last photo was the worst. A triumphant Naughty-Sue holding Princess Blade aloft, strangely tinted flames running up and down the blade.
“Oh, this is bad,” I said. “This is very bad.”
“No shit, magician,” she retorted. “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.”
“Screw embarrassment!” I shouted. “Look at your crazy sister waving around Princess like a toy. It’s like a five-year-old with a hand grenade. Hell, a nuclear hand grenade. She has no idea of the damage she can do with that blade. We’ve got to free Princess from that crazy bitch.”
“Don’t call my sister a bi...” Kitty-Sue trailed off. “Well, she is a man-stealing bitch. But don’t talk about her like that.”
“I’ve got to track her down before she creates a catastrophe,” I said.
Strangely enough, since I had called her sister a bitch, Kitty-Sue had brightened up. Her tail was more erect and her eyes less puffy.
“I’ve got an idea,” she said. “We’ll make her come to us.”
Noting the devilish glint in her eye, I asked, “How?”
“We’ll post some pictures of us on my timeline,” she said. “That way she will know her trap didn’t work. Then she will find us.”
“Well,” I said, approaching her, “break out the selfie stick, honey, and let’s make her jealous!”
She backed away quickly, nose wrinkling in disgust. “You have to scrub her stink off before I let you near me again.”
I turned right towards the shower room. “You want to scrub my back, just like before?” I said in my most seductive voice.
“Hell, no!” she said. “I’m still mad! It’ll be a long, long time before I can trust you again!” There was a strange sense of relief as she said those words. It took me a moment to parse that she was talking about being able to trust me in the future.
At my retreating back, she shouted, “And make sure you change the water twice! It’ll take at least three scrubs to get rid of that smell.”
After two thorough scrubs, I changed the water for the third time and slid into the tub. Kitty-Sue opened the glass door and stuck her nose in to sniff, then stepped inside. She stood with her hands behind her back, smiling sweetly. “Come to scrub my back?” I asked. “I really miss your attentions.”
“No, I can still smell her,” she replied. “It’s time for stronger measures.” She brought her rubber-gloved hands around and dropped a small object into the tub. It fizzed gently, coloring the water blue. The water started to froth, and I felt an intense tingle.
“That’s not too bad,” I said. “Sort of enjoyable.” The tingling was getting stronger and stronger. Kitty-Sue punched the control panel above the tub, increasing the water temperature to Japanese levels, much too high for my Western body. The tingling intensified with the increase in temperature, becoming almost painful. I made a motion to get out, but was blocked by Kitty-Sue’s gloved hand on my head.
“Scott-san,” she whispered, “you have to wait until the scent is gone.” She gently caressed my head. “And the potion has to cover your entire body.”
“What?” I asked as she pushed me down.
“How long can a magician hold his breath?” she asked with an evil grin as my head went under.
Her joke was funny for the first minute, then increasingly less funny. The potion was searing my skin, the lack of oxygen was searing my lungs, and the hate was searing my soul. Obviously, Kitty-Sue didn’t share her sister’s carefree attitude towards sex. Hell, it wasn’t like I had cheated; Kitty-Sue and I hadn’t even kissed yet.
I struggled to rise from the tub, not wanting to use magic because it might hurt Kitty-Sue, but the potion had made the sides of the deep tub slippery. I couldn’t get a grasp to pull myself up against her inhuman strength.
As black spots were starting to appear before my eyes and I was preparing to unleash a relationship destroying spell, her hand jerked back, allowing me to rise above the surface and gasp for air. I scrambled to my feet, covered in frothy suds.
Standing in the doorway was Akiko. Her hair was standing away from her head, and lightning-like flashes of magical energy ran all over her body, coalescing in her hand, which was held out like a pistol. Kitty-Sue had turned around to face Akiko, and I saw a burned spot on her tail where Akiko had zapped her. Akiko must have felt my distress through our psychic link.
As Kitty-Sue made that motion with her hands that I knew would result in the appearance of magic blades, I shouted, “Stop.” The knives appeared, but thankfully, she didn’t release them.
They both turned towards me as Akiko said, “Scott-Sensei, why she drown you?” I noted that she did not release the energy gathered at her fingertip, merely aiming it away from us as she talked. Good trigger discipline.
“I can explain everything—” I said, but Kitty-Sue cut me off with a rapid-fire stream of Japanese that I couldn’t hope to understand. Unable to get a word in, I watched as a series of emotions crossed my student’s face. Akiko began to nod in comprehension as Kitty-Sue’s tale became more and more animated. As Kitty-Sue spoke, Akiko’s trigger finger slowly rose until it was pointed at my genitals. The water I was standing in suddenly seemed cold.
Time to put a stop to this. I said, “Ladies, put your weapons away! Let me finish my bath and we can discuss this like mature adults.” Unfortunately, my naked condition subtracted greatly from my commanding presence. The girls looked me up and down and simultaneously giggled. Oh, God, I would never get my dignity back. At least Akiko’s trigger finger was now pointed at the floor.
With a mutual glance, the girls turned and walked out, Akiko’s lightning and Kitty-Sue’s blades disappearing. Kitty-Sue’s tail was already healing.
I scrambled from the tub, pulling the plug to let the scent-laden water flow away, then stood under the shower to rinse off the potion. It took several minutes, but I was finally squeaky clean. I even rinsed out the tub to eliminate any trace of Naughty-Sue. While bent over the tub, I had some thoughts on how to improve the no-scent potion. Hmmm, that might come in handy.
Drying off with a soft towel, I finally got a look at my body in the mirror. Damn, my hair was white again! A combination of the rapid aging and Kitty-Sue’s potion. Both upper and lower patches of hair were now snow white. Even my eyebrows and eyelashes were white. In a few days, the dark roots would come in, making me look like a skunk.
The clothes I had worn still stank of Naughty-Sue. Now that I was clean, it was apparent how strong the odor was. I stuffed them into an airtight plastic bag for disposal. I had to wash my hands again after handling the old clothes.
Finally, showered, shaved, and dressed, I made my way to the living room. I found Kitty-Sue and Akiko seated at the table whispering to each other over tea and coffee. They eyed me warily as I walked past to dump the old clothes in the trash.
I raised an eyebrow at the lack of coffee at my spot. After several minutes of no movement by either of us, I realized Kitty-Sue no longer felt domestic after my betrayal. I silently ran a fresh cup of black coffee from the Keurig coffee maker and then joined them at the table. Kitty-Sue looked slightly disappointed that I knew how to make my own coffee. The scent of the coffee seemed smoother and richer than before. Inhaling deeply, I noted that the scents of Akiko and Kitty-Sue were different. Not in an unpleasant way, just different. Changes made to my olfactory sense, to escape Naughty-Sue’s pheromone trap, seemed to have also changed my overall sense of smell. At least the change was specific to Naughty-Sue’s scent. Kitty-Sue still smelled good, just diff
erent.
That gave me an idea for a way to get even with Naughty-Sue, or at least to hinder her plans. As I mulled over these thoughts and prepared my plan, the girls remained silent. Staring into space, I saw Kitty-Sue open her mouth to speak and the tiny shake of Akiko’s head letting her know I needed time to think.
Finally, after sipping the last of my coffee, I said, “OK, Kitty-Sue. I like your plan, but I will need to make some preparations.”
The rest of the afternoon went by quickly. We made photos for posting, assisted by Akiko.
Did you ever have to play the loving couple in front of friends and family after a huge fight? The caresses that were slightly too rough, the “accidental” nose bump as you go in for the kiss, the pinching of soft flesh as you posed with smiles for the camera? That was Kitty-Sue and me. It was evident she was only with me to get revenge on her sister. So we needed to make ourselves the perfect loving couple.
We did that and much more, just to shatter Naughty-Sue’s worldview. She thought she had left me trapped in a bubble of kitsune magic and pheromones. Now she would see that I had escaped and was having fun with her sister.
Looking over the photos before posting, Kitty-Sue said, “We need some captions. What do you think I should tag these as?”
Looking over her cold shoulder, I pointed to a shot of us both smiling. “Omnia Vincit Amor,” I said. As she typed on her screen, I whispered in her ear, “I know your “Remember” spell helped me escape. Even if you can’t forgive me, I’ll always remember that.”
She turned with a look of suspicion that slowly transformed into a real smile. “So, you want to tell my sister that ‘Love conquers all’?”
“Oh, look here,” I said, pointing to a photo of me stroking Kitty-Sue’s luxuriant tail. “Tag this one with ‘One is better than two; when it’s the right one!’ She’ll hate that.”
With a giggle, she finished up her captions and posted the photos on Tailbook.
Social media came through for us. Careful study showed Naughty-Sue’s favorite hangouts. We picked her most visited location, and I camped out at the bar (a task suited to my natural talents) until she happened to visit. I was on my third Johnnie Walker Black when I felt the familiar tingle of kitsune magic at my back.
Spinning around on the barstool, I opened my arms wide. “Princess,” I said happily, “you’re back. I’m so glad to see you!”
Naughty-Sue stopped in the middle of the bar, shock on her face. She was wearing new, very expensive, Jimmy Choo shoes on her feet and was carrying a half dozen shopping bags from the most expensive Tokyo boutiques. Over her arm, in the form of a ladies’ parasol, was Princess Blade.
She plastered a fake smile on her face, eyes darting around for an escape. “I’m very happy to see you too...” She trailed off, pretending to be at a loss for my name. Hell, maybe she didn’t remember my name.
“I wasn’t talking to you, Naughty-Sue,” I said, mangling her name by using a nickname. “I was talking to the umbrella.” Princess answered my greeting with a bright zing sound, heard by everyone in the bar. On Naughty-Sue’s arm, the umbrella twisted and pointed her tip towards me.
Quickly placing the bags on a nearby table, Naughty-Sue placed her opposite hand on Princess’ handle, and the flare of kitsune magic ran from her fingers to the umbrella. Princess drooped sadly at her touch. Naughty-Sue had found a way to overcome Princess’ defenses.
“Been on a bit of a shopping spree, I see,” I said.
Comforted by the fact I hadn’t attacked her yet, she let her fake smile relax. “Well, yes,” she said, digging through her purse and bringing out a handful of credit cards: Black, Platinum, and Gold, all with my name on them. “Could you be a dear and pay these off? They appear to be maxed out.” As she spoke, she exuded kitsune pheromones, which wafted through the bar. Every man in the bar, and a few women, turned towards her with questing noses.
The faintest whiff and I had to fight off the urge to gag. I held my breath and brought out a spray bottle I had prepared earlier. It was filled with a modified version of the “no-scent” potion that Kitty-Sue had used on me.
A few spritzes in her direction counteracted the pheromones, turning them into a foul-smelling cloud. Why make the potion when I was already immune to her olfactory charms? To prevent her from using entranced humans against me.
The other patrons turned away, some gagging, some just clearing their noses, all ignoring us as they made their way to the exit. Even the barman hurried out through the back exit. He did leave the bottle, which would merit him a nice tip. I poured another generous dollop of Johnnie Walker Black.
Naughty-Sue looked around with nervous eyes—no humans around to use against me and no way to use her pheromones on me.
“Honey,” I said, after sipping from my tumbler, “sorry, can’t help you, those cards have been canceled. Maybe you can get a refund on that perfume. Frankly, it smells like skunk piss.”
Faster than humanly possible, she jumped back, leaving her bags, my credit cards, and even her shoes behind. Everything except Princess Blade, who she clutched in her hands. Princess twisted in her grasp, pulled towards me with an almost magnetic attraction, as Naughty-Sue headed for the door.
I pulled at time, dragging the universe into slow motion. I never thought of it as speeding myself up, but as slowing the world down. I was in front of the door, blocking it before she got halfway there. I wrinkled my nose as her new stench wafted towards me. She stopped suddenly, only to be dragged forward by Princess Blade. Naughty-Sue had a death grip on the handle, using all of her superhuman strength, but the umbrella handle morphed into a sword hilt and leaped from her fingers, leaving friction burns.
The touch of Princess’ hilt on my palm felt like a lost child coming home. The aww-shit look on Naughty-Sue’s face was priceless. Completing her transformation into her true form, Princess glowed with a deep copper radiance. Hints of flame ran up and down her blade, and the singing of metal filled the bar.
Away from the influence of Naughty-Sue’s kitsune magic, glyphs on her hilt glowed briefly, then changed. I was suddenly certain that Princess could not be trapped the same way again.
At this point, someone like Kitty-Sue would bring out knives. Naughty-Sue didn’t even try, knowing she was outmatched. I saw a hundred schemes run through her mind, expressed on her face. She decided to go with playfulness.
Hands at her sides, grasping her dress tightly to outline her figure, she said, “That was quite the joke, wasn’t it? You should have seen the look on your face when I brought your sword back.”
I gave her my most feral smile. “Yes, that was quite the joke. It deserves an equal jest in return.”
Princess made a sound like distant ringing bells. “That’s a great idea, Princess!” I said. “Tell me, Naughty-Sue, have you ever heard of a bobtailed vixen?”
Her hands leaped back to hold her tails, one in each hand. “You can’t do that!” she said.
“Fae justice demands an appendage for theft,” I explained matter-of-factly. “You stole a fae sword, and so Princess decides.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” she said. “You got your sword back! So, it wasn’t really stolen! I just borrowed it!”
She backed up two steps. “Besides,” she pleaded, “we aren’t in the fae lands. Doesn’t that put us out of her jurisdiction? Shouldn’t kitsune law prevail?”
“Kitsune laws,” I mused. “I don’t really know much about them. A joke, perhaps? A prank? Something humiliating?”
Princess hummed several notes, and I continued, “Forcing her to walk naked down Roppongi Dori Avenue?” At the relief on Naughty-Sue’s face, I quickly added, “No, Princess. That would not be humiliating for her. The Japanese would ignore her, and the tourists would think she was a cosplayer.
“Tell me, Naughty-Sue,” I said, “have you ever been to a Furry Convention?” Princess made a discordant sound. “Not humiliating enough? An auction? Really?”
“You can’t make me do that!” s
he spit out. “My aunt would never let you auction me off!”
“Oh dear,” I sighed. “You don’t know your auntie very well at all. She has no objections to your punishment.
“You know how magicians always keep their bargains?” I continued. “We bargain hard but keep our promises. You know why nobody tries to steal from a magician?”
A quick shake of her head, either in answer to my question or denial of my plans, as she backed towards the bar.
“Because stealing from a magician leaves an open bargain. I get to set the terms of the Deal. For your ‘borrowing’ of Princess, I bind you to an act of indentured servitude.” I walked past her to the bar, noting that her pheromone production had stopped. I gratefully took a sip of my drink, unmarred by the stench.
I pulled an animal carrier, the kind used when flying with pets, from behind the bar. Setting it on the bar, I opened the door. Naughty-Sue leaned backward while her bare feet slid forward. Step by reluctant step, she neared the cage. With each step, she changed shape: from her almost-human guise, to her half-fox form, and finally to a small black fox, which was sucked into the carrier.
“You are bound to obey the commands of your new master,” I said, “for a period of one w—” Princess let out a twang and twisted in my grasp. “OK, Princess,” I said, “for a period of one month. After thirty-one days, you will be free to return. No physical harm will come to you.”
“You can’t make me a sex slave,” hissed the fox in the carrier. I was surprised, both because I hadn’t known they could talk while in animal form, and at the idea that a female who had made hundreds of men her sex slaves with pheromones could object to having the same done to her.
Kitty-Sue chose that moment to step from behind the bar, camera in hand. “This is going up on my timeline right away,” she said.
I pulled out my iPad and logged in to the auction web site. “Oh, look how popular she is!” I said. “The bidding is already started and Fat Freddy has met the reserve price.”
