by Eliza Knight
“The two of ye were magic.” Raine’s hands fluttered to her chest, and she gave a long sigh that seemed to speak to what the rest of the Irvine sisters were thinking.
A flurry of, “Oh, aye,” came from the line of them.
Heat filled Bronwen’s face, and she smiled, mumbling her thanks and unsure of what to do next. She glanced toward the polished wood floor and wrung her hands.
“I think ye’re ready to claim your bride,” Maggie said, drawing Bronwen’s attention back up. “Do ye agree?” she asked Bronwen.
“Ready?” Bronwen tilted her head to the side, not sure what Maggie was asking. Perhaps if they were ready for another dance, which she must most heartily deny.
“Aye,” Maggie said, beaming back at her brother. “I’m thinking perhaps it is time to head to Edinburgh. We’ll have a week’s head start on the rest of society arriving, and he can be introduced to any ladies who’ve come in early. Unless ye can think of a reason for him to remain behind?”
“Ah, aye,” Bronwen said around the lump forming in her throat as she forced a smile of encouragement. “I think he is ready.” But she wasn’t. So soon, this interlude of heaven was coming to an end. The very idea of thinking about him twirling about the dance floor with another woman was physically painful and sent a little tremor to her lip, which she bit to keep anyone from noticing.
“I think that Miss Holmes should join us,” Amabel said, her tone very serious.
Every head swiveled in her direction, including Bronwen’s. Amabel was studying her with those thoughtful eyes. Her tone and stance were not so much emotional as it was factual. Just as when she’d approached Bronwen about staying at Drum. Before Bronwen could protest, each of the Irvine sisters broke out in a chorus of agreement.
Euan touched Bronwen’s elbow, and she peeked up at him.
“What do ye say, Miss Holmes? Do ye wish to travel to Edinburgh with us? It would be nice if I had ye there for some decorum refreshers between society ambushes.”
Skye snorted and rolled her eyes. “Ye’re going to need a lot more than Miss Holmes to help ye with that.”
Maggie shushed her younger sister, and Skye stuck out her tongue.
Bronwen’s body, her mind and especially her words were frozen in place. Travel to Edinburgh with them? That was the very last place she could go. The very last place she should even consider. It would be too dangerous for her. Edinburgh, for her, equaled death. No matter how much she enjoyed the Irvine family’s company, nor how grateful she was to have been given a place here, going back to the city was an absolute negative for her.
Bronwen straightened her shoulders and shored up her spine. In this, she would not cave. “Nay,” she said. “I could no’. As ye said, he is ready. And when your brother needs help, he’ll have all of ye there to guide him.”
There, she’d said it, even as excruciating as it was to admit to herself that this was finally the end. She’d laid her cards out on the table, and now she could walk away. Self-preservation had to come first, didn’t it? If she went back to Edinburgh, she might as well take out her own advert with the address for the brutes to come and find her. But Amabel looked stricken at her words, and she remembered her promise to the lass. Euan was not going to change overnight though; there had to be some give here.
She couldn’t.
There was this world here where she could lie and be safe, and then there was the city she’d run from where death and torment awaited.
Nay. Nay. Nay.
Euan had to think quickly on his feet. He’d asked her to go, his sisters had practically begged, and Bronwen still said no. Adamantly. There was no chance he could postpone the trip. His sisters counted on him finding a bride, winning the will’s contest and securing all of their futures. That was non-negotiable.
But he’d hoped that if he could convince Bronwen to come along, he’d have a chance to…what? Woo her? Convince her that there could be something between them?
And to what end? She wouldn’t want to be his mistress. That was what she’d told him last night. Besides that, Bronwen deserved more than to be a man’s plaything. And if he were too busy wooing her into being his lover, that would do nothing for succeeding in his grandfather’s quest. He’d spoken last night about her possibly being his wife, but either she didn’t want to, or she’d not understood his meaning.
For the love of all things, he was acting like an imbecile.
Whatever was going on between them was muddying his thoughts, his powers of deduction. Bloody hell, he’d been fourteen when he’d inherited the lairdship from his father, and he’d managed to not only prosper in that position but built their clan up until they were thriving. How was it that he was struggling so much with a woman?
And why was she so adamant about not joining them? Given their conversation during the dance, he’d had such high hopes that she would agree, and he could have a little more time with her to sort out his thoughts. And yet, she had denied them. Insisted they part ways and his sisters take over her lessons from here.
Did this mean that everything she said and did—the kisses, the telling him she liked touching him, the looks that bespoke of more than physical acts—an act, along with why she was here? The reason of which was still a mystery to him.
Euan had been trying for days to get her to open up, to understand his desire for her. But she kept slamming the door closed.
What more could he do?
Well, he supposed there was plenty more he could do. But perhaps the most important thing was to let her know she’d be safe with them. If she’d had to leave the city out of fear, maybe it wasn’t anything to do with him that was causing her to deny them the request but true fear about returning. If there were one thing he’d learned living with six sisters, it was that more often than not, their reasons for making decisions had nothing to do with him.
“Please, do reconsider,” Maggie said. “We’d love to have ye join us. Edinburgh will no’ be the same without ye.”
Bronwen smiled softly at them all. “Ye will all have a magical time.”
When his sisters started to talk all at once, Euan dismissed them to their studies so he might speak with Bronwen alone. He even shooed out Owen, who’d lumbered over to see what they were all making so much noise about and decided to add in his own opinion with a series of barks.
Now that they were alone in the ballroom, he walked over to the paned glass doors leading to the gardens. The sun was shining, and a gentle breeze blew against the flowers, plants and grasses.
“Bronwen,” he said, glancing behind him to see that she remained rooted in the center of the ballroom, hands folded, head down. He hated seeing her like that. She looked lost, defeated.
This was not the fiery lass he knew. The one who’d felt confident enough to demand he carry her valise to her room after taking a position that hadn’t been offered to her and then promptly forced everyone to fall in love with her.
Dear God. He was in love with her.
Euan suddenly found it hard to breathe, to swallow. His fingers started to tingle, and a firestorm was racing up his arms and into his shoulders, centering in his chest. Love. He loved her. And admitting it to himself now was as if he’d taken a bullet to his heart. The thing he’d thought impossible—himself in love—was happening right now before his very eyes.
Bronwen was staring at him, studying him, a little tilt to her head. Could she tell what he was thinking? Feeling?
Euan cleared his throat, trying to ignore the emotions that had revealed themselves. “I can no’ presume to know what has ye afraid of returning to the city. And I can no’ demand that ye tell me. What I can convey to ye is that ye’ll be safe with me, with my family. We’d never let anything happen to ye.”
There was a whoosh of air that gushed from her—a sigh that was both surprise and defeat. When he looked back this time, she was staring at him, her mouth agape and blinking rapidly. She looked ready to panic.
“I’ll leave at once. Ye mu
st be terribly disappointed,” she finally said.
Euan turned all the way around then, studying her with her spine so stiff, her fingers pinching and unpinching her skirt. Her face had paled, and she worried her lower lip. What did she mean, disappointed? What about his words had given her that impression? He wanted to walk over to her, gather her in his arms and soothe away whatever was going through her mind, but he was afraid if he did that, she would bolt.
“What could I possibly have to be disappointed about other than ye will no’ join me?” he asked.
Bronwen took a large breath, her face growing even paler than it had a moment before. “I’ve come here under false pretenses, Captain. I’m so sorry it took me so long to tell ye this. All I can do is beg your forgiveness and leave your family in peace.”
Euan shook his head, closing the distance by a few steps forward, but when she stiffened all the more, he stilled. “I’ve known for quite some time ye were here for reasons other than seeing my advert in the paper.”
Bronwen hung her head, her shoulders sagging. “I’m verra sorry to have deceived ye.”
Seeing her pain, her discomfort, caused him to feel a slice within his chest. “Bronwen, lass, I do no’ feel deceived. I want to help, but ye have to tell me what’s wrong if I’m to do it.”
She shook her head, glancing toward the exit. “There is nothing ye can help me with, and I fear I’ve imposed long enough.”
Euan tried to quell his exasperation. Why was she so insistent that she had to part from them? She might have lied about her reasons for coming, but he wasn’t mistaken in his impression of her feelings when she’d kissed him. That had been real; he was certain of it. “Why do ye no’ let me decide for myself whether ye’ve imposed. Are ye hearing what I’m saying, lass? I want to help ye. I do no’ want ye to go.”
Bronwen shook her head and side-stepped toward the door as if she hoped to slip out unnoticed. “I will only be in the way. If ye’re too busy worrying about me and what I’ve got up to, then ye’ll never be able to find a bride. I would never forgive myself if I ruined the chances ye seek.”
“I think ye give me less credit than I deserve,” he said. “What has ye so afraid?”
She shook her head, casting her gaze down at her feet. Euan closed the distance between them before she had a chance to disappear from the room as her body language suggested she would. With his finger pressed to her chin, he gingerly tilted her face up toward him and gazed into her gray eyes, which were quickly welling with tears.
He’d seen women cry a thousand times, he did have six sisters after all, but none had ever touched him as much as this. His heart felt as if it were seizing in his chest.
“I never meant for ye to find out. I only wanted…” But her voice trailed off as she looked up at the ceiling to control her feelings.
Euan stroked her cheek, brushing away a tear with the pad of his thumb. Her gaze gradually rolled back down to meet his. And he took her hand in his, squeezing gently. She didn’t let go, which he took as a good sign.
“How long have ye known?” she asked.
“As I said, I do no’ know the details, only that ye were seeking shelter.” He kept his voice soft, not a shred of judgment.
“Emilia?” she asked.
He shook his head. “My best mate Lorne is married to Jaime, Emilia’s employer.”
“Ah.” She nodded slowly.
“Likely, Emilia had to explain your use of the ship to Jaime, and Jaime confessed it to her husband. And when I wrote inquiring how to get into contact with Emilia to thank her for sending ye our way, he told me what had transpired, but none of them are aware of why lass. Emilia kept your secret safe. And now I hope ye will feel free to share your secret and know it will be safe with me.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I meant what I said. I want to help.”
She leaned into his touch and then away again, fighting with her emotions as much as he was, he guessed. God, it was hard not to tug her against his chest, to impart some of his strength on her, or at least quell the fear she so clearly felt.
“I did need help. And I thank ye ever so much for allowing me into your home. To be a part of your family.” She squeezed his hand back, then retreated. “Ye’ve already helped me more than ye could know.”
“I would do it again, lass.” His heart lurched at the idea of her leaving, of him never having met her. “I want to do it still. If ye would only confide in me.”
“My parents.” She pressed her hands to her face and shook her head. “They got into debt with some bad people. And those people decided to collect.”
“Is that…what happened to them?” he asked, imagining the horror she must have endured at finding out that her parents had been murdered and then the fear in thinking she might be next. Good God, she must have been terrified.
She nodded. “Aye.”
He hoped she hadn’t had to see it—that she’d been spared that at least. “And ye had to run?”
“For a time, they said I could pay them off, which I was. I was working verra hard to do so.” Every word she said came out quickly as if she needed to get it all off her chest. “But then they decided that was no’ enough, and so they were coming to take me. To…to…”
Euan’s stomach twisted with rage. If the men had been before him now, he would gut them from neck to navel. “Ye need no’ tell me the rest,” he said, trying to ease her discomfort. “I can well imagine what it was they planned. And so ye ran?”
“Aye. But I never wanted ye to know. I do no’ expect ye to help me. It is best if I leave now.” She implored him with her gaze. “Ye can understand why I can no’ go with ye to Edinburgh.”
“Lass, I will protect ye.” He took both her hands in his and pressed them to his chest. “I promise. Why do ye no’ let me?”
Bronwen sighed but didn’t pull away. “I know ye may want to. But ye have many sisters to protect, too. And I’ve made it this far on my own. I can keep going.”
“Aye, but this is a road ye need no’ travel alone.”
“Ye’ve already done enough for me. I can no’ ask ye to do another thing.”
“I want to. Do ye no’ understand that, my wee lass? I want to.” It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her how he felt, but he held back. They were talking about her right now, and the last thing she needed on top of her current worries was to be burdened with his declaration.
Her head fell back as she blinked up at the ceiling, and this time she did slip from his grasp, though there was reluctance in it, he could tell. “Ye must concentrate on your family,” she said. “Ye must concentrate on your duties.”
There it was again—the reminder of the many responsibilities that weighed on his shoulders and the fact that he didn’t want to wrestle with them alone anymore. He wanted to be wrestling them with Bronwen Holmes at his side. Neither of them needed to shoulder the burdens alone.
“I’ve been doing that well enough for over a decade, lass. Neither of us should have to be alone. Ye are a part of us now. Ye must know that,” he said. “We need ye in Edinburgh. Let us bear some of your burdens. If ye think it is a job we can no’ handle alone, I’ve friends in powerful places we can call on.”
Doubt sparked in her eyes. “I can no’, Captain. It is a matter of pride, of honor. I can no’ expect anyone else to bear the shameful burden my parents have left me with. They were…no’ the best of citizens.”
“Their actions do no’ reflect on ye, lest ye embrace them as your own. I can understand honor, pride. And it would be my honor to help the woman who has so graciously helped me. Ye might have been seeking refuge, lass, but ye provided me and my sisters with so much when ye came into my home. Let us repay the favor.”
Bronwen gazed into his eyes, searching, no doubt, for the answers only she could give herself.
“Please,” he added.
She let out a lengthy exhale. “All right. I will come to Edinburgh with ye, but ye must leave well enough alone. I’ll stay out of sight,
and they should no’ be able to find me. And when ye’ve found yourself a worthy bride—” She paused to swallow as if even saying the words was as painful as it was for him to hear them. “When ye’ve made a match, ye’ll release me.”
God, why did this have to hurt so much? He wanted her to come with them. Wanted to show her that he loved her. But at the same time, if what she wanted was to leave, to disappear from their lives, then he had to let her go. Nearly choking on the words, he said, “Lass, I’ll release ye if that is what ye truly wish.”
Bronwen stared into his eyes, and he right back at her. There was so much more he wanted to say. Wanted to pull her into the circle of his arms. To kiss her again and pretend that neither of them had anything else to worry about other than what they sincerely wanted.
“That is what I wish,” she said at last, and he felt his heart shatter at that moment. “After ye find a bride.”
“Then I say it is done.” His words were as hollow as his chest.
A thump at the doors had them both turning around just in time to see the door open, and several of his sisters tumble into the ballroom, one on top of the other in a poof of muslin and ribbons.
“So sorry,” Skye said, with a grimace as she climbed out from beneath Lillie, trying to straighten her hair that had fallen lopsided on her head. “I happened to be walking by, and I tripped, and…fell.”
“Aye, she tripped over me,” Lillie confessed, standing up and lending a hand to Esme, who also had tumbled. “Our apologies. We are so clumsy.”
“Och, the lot of ye,” Maggie said, marching into the ballroom. “Euan knows verra well we were spying on him and Miss Holmes.” She turned her gaze back to them both, but it was Skye who spoke next as she slinked into the ballroom too.
“So ye’ll be coming with us to Edinburgh, then?” Skye said.
Bronwen nodded slowly, her gaze shifting around the small group and a genuine smile of happiness touching her cheeks, though the sadness remained in her eyes.
